DECEMBER SCENES

Enough already!!! Snow and cold day after day. I love Michigan and the changing seasons, but hey - you get cold or snow, not cold and snow!!!! And not every day. It is supposed to clear up for any holidays and only precipitate on the grassy areas. Snow blowers are pulled out on occasion and winter sports are confined to gentle hills and open fields. There's a reason I settled in Lansing. Surrounded by rivers is supposed to protect us from tornadoes and the hot air over the Capital is supposed to protect us from the excesses of winter weather. The politicians need a good controversy to keep the heat on. Lame ducks apparently produce no gas....

Deer are being massacred every day as they forage for food or lick leftovers from bird feeders. The car/deer war is providing overwhelming casualties, much business for the body shops and the deer are losing! Hard to find deer organ donors.

The bird condo we are running on the back porch is seeing its usual varied supply of desperate renters who scramble for position on the narrow ledges of the bird feeder. We finally had to scatter some on the bench so the 6 pair of cardinals could catch the largess tossed by their bigger bluer brothers who hog the feeder. The doves have basically given up and are scarfing anything anywhere. Though their sheer bulk afford them the best positions, the crazy chickadees are completely fearless. Meanwhile the resident hawks just hang tight and pick their meal at their leisure.

Amidst all the frenzy of Christmas and end of the year projects, I found myself contemplating fairness and the lack thereof. As I curse the inconvenience of the weather and the work that I do, I saw a man today who struggled to move his wheelchair through a store. His legs shriveled up and useless. I saw the smile on his face as he excused himself for asking others to make way so he could maneuver his chair among us. Not a person complained or was less than accommodating. Hopefully we all felt "but for the grace of God that could be me".

Reminded me of my Grandfather who through the ravages of arthritis lost the use of his legs before he was 40. Though I never saw him standing, I always thought he could and I never questioned that he could not do everything everyone else did. He was smart and funny and he took us to places who never realized they should have to accommodate him. They found a way or he explained how they could. He never made me think that he was handicapped. He just moved differently.

FOREST FOR THE TREES, CHRISTMAS TREES THAT IS

Made the big trek to Tannenbaum Farms to select a tree this weekend. Last year the Burt man went by himself during the week. Much less hoopla, no fancy wagon rides to the fields and no hot chocolate anywhere. We used to go there when Kristen was small and even once or twice as a teenager. Schlepping through the tree fields, cutting your own tree with a dull knife errr hacksaw. Dragging the girl on the cart when she wanted a ride. Check out the reindeer, wash everyone's face in the snow, warm up at the fire and sip hot chocolate. Oh yes, you also get an extremely overpriced tree out of the deal-which if you make the people pick, it out, cut it down and drag it out,you would think it would be a little cheaper. No handling charge!

This year Kristen and Matt wanted to pick out the first tree for their house. They moved in the weekend before Christmas last year, so not exactly conducive to creating the whole Christmas thingee in the midst of moving boxes and no furniture. Plus their furnace went out Christmas night which kind of takes the romance out of the holiday-although I suppose cuddling up for survival does often lead to an exchange of body heat.

General hilarity when Burt finally emerged from the pick-up. We had been dancing around, oohing and ahhing at all the fancy cut trees and wreaths wondering what in the heck was keeping him. He is garbed head to toe in bright orange camouflage looking like a puffed up robin. Amazing he could move. We waxed silly over his "over dressing".

Two things proved prophetic however. First, the fact that we admired all the trees wayyyyy uppppp at the building before heading into the tree fields and wondered who would buy these, scoff, already cut trees and miss the whole woodland adventure; and secondly, Matt's words that we will all be begging Burt for some of his attire before we finish today. Well both prophecies came to fruition.

Strangely enough, Matt and Kristen bought the first tree they saw (beautiful) at the building wayyyyyy uppppp front after wandering through the fields for an hour and secondly, we about froze our patooties off. Burt was the smart one. Took the magical wagon ride, after shivering on the platform for a while, way out to the fields, looked at the lone reindeer (a boy) left in the pen and wandered and wandered and wandered looking for that perfect tree. We found many perfect trees. However they were penned up like convicts complete with their green and black striped uniforms. No one knows why these perfect trees were not free to be hacked down by an eager public and carted off like a trophy buck.

Another little Tannebaum joke. After you wander and wander and wander looking for the perfect tree, you find you have wandered all the way back the first building you came into. No magical wagon ride back holding your perfect trophy tree, which spends the ride slapping you in the face with very prickly and cold little green fingers, and obviously no hot chocolate. We remedied that lack with a run to the local Old Chicago restaurant where we enjoyed something a little stronger than hot chocolate. However the warming properties are the same. Plus yours truly kicked a---- in trivia!

Rumor hath it, the younger set have their tree already set up. We "gifted" them with all of Kristen's ornaments accumulated over the years and a nice set of jingle bell ornaments that we assured them were "cat friendly". Heh Heh Heh. : )

(make sure you click on the pics to see them in their full radiant glory)

RANDOM SCENES

Snowing like crazy at the moment. One of our resident hawks (little guy) went slamming into the window next to me. Made me drop a participle. He got up, shook himself off (well kind of) then rapidly looked around the surrounding area as fast as his fuzzy head would allow. Though some might say he was scanning for prey, I contend he knocked himself halfway silly and was checking to see if any of his "peeps" saw him boink the door. Hard to look formidable and bloodthirsty hunter of prey when you are playing tag with a solid glass door!

Took our usual whirlwind trip to Rogers City for Thanksgiving - up and back in two days. Good trip, good company and way too much food crammed into two small a space and time. Hmmm sounds like a Star Trek adventure. Caught a break on the weather, though a little dicey on the way back. Several ballerina shows from incautious drivers who apparently believe they glide above the snow when traveling at high speeds. Their only brush with reality comes when they attempt to stick a landing from their highway double axle headfirst in the ditch. Oh well-the show was good.

The week before the Grand Rapids contingency converged for a wine tasting. Yes, once a month we must celebrate wine no matter what. Each of us derived a rating system, in some cases it was an X-rated system- Robels??? This party included Godiva chocolate samples. We we all took turns making forays to the sample "girls" feigning surprise that they were there handing out samples which we then parlayed into whole platefuls of heaven. With ten people available, that translated into a lot of "heaven". Oh yeah the wine was good too.

Colleen, our resident beer loving woman, even found a couple that she liked or at least didn't dump into the sangria pitcher (that's what I call the spit cup). Couldn't get anyone to drink it though. Wine is a acquired taste, like scotch, caviar, asparagus and squirrel. Yeah Man.

SHOPPING SCENES

Rather than face the nuttiness on Black Friday, I just cyber shopped. Not quite as satisfying, but you get to do it in your grubbies and no make-up.

I am appalled that the animals in New York could so cavalierly step over the prone body of the poor dude who's only crime was he drew the short straw and had to open the doors. I am sure that IPOD and WII were so worth a man's life. Bad enough as that was, it was especially galling that people were irritated when they tried to get them out of the store so they could remove his poor damaged body and investigate the scene. Even death doesn't faze our shopping jones. Disgusting.

They interviewed a woman here who said they had to go on this date. With the economy so bad, they had kids and gd forbid they deprive the over-indulged little who-whos from whatever electronic doo-dad they have to have. My parents had no problem telling us that this is all they have and that is the way it is. Led to my very unpatriotic habit of actually having the money before I buy something and paying my bills when they are due. What a tool! Slap me on my credit card. Hey I can still see the numbers on it! How many can say that? LOL

HEARTFELT SCENES

I wonder if when a heart is broken, and it is fixed with the emotional equivalent of crazy glue, if perhaps it becomes bigger, stronger and more connected? That the band-aids applied actually allow the heart to grow and expand without totally destroying itself as is commonly believed. Something to think about....

MY OPINION IN NOVEMBER

They asked us what we thought about the government bailing out the auto industry. Here was my response to the State Journal community board this week.

"With Michigan's back against the proverbial wall, yes we need government assistance. Normally a free society dictates that bad decisions made by a business means they suffer the consequences of their actions. At this point, however, the impact to so many industries, workers and the rest of the country is immeasurable. Interesting that those crying socialism due to the recent election, are the same CEO's, bankers and Wall Street insiders benefiting from recent government "welfare" via bailouts. Hopefully this plan may actually include some payback to the citizens."

SCENES OF SCORPIO BIRTHDAY GIRL

Was not feeling the birthday this year. Too many celebrations or Mother not being here for the second year. Yes, I found her exasperating, but I never found her boring or less than astute. Her love was never a question. A Mother is a cheerleader all your life, no matter what. I miss that. I am grown woman with a daughter and son-in-law. Why do I miss my Mother so much? But I do. No apologies.

But my daughter called me at 8:32 that day continuing the tradition of calling my Mother on my birthday at that time. She also organized a surprise party with the family. I am humbled that my child would care enough to do that just because I am her Mom. Guess you have to understand a loss to understand a gesture of love. I think we spend our lives caring for, worrying about and taking care of our children. When they do something back that is so loving and right, you are humbled. I think I understand much more now why my Mother needed my phone calls and my visits. The tradition continues. My surprise party was awesome and the love was there. Isn't that all we can ask for?

NOVEMBER SCENES

What an election! What a night! What a time in history. Though my more republican readers may be a bit disgruntled, I am happy with what transpired on November 4, 2008. Mother would have been in her element! I liked McCain until he identified too closely with the current administration and chose "Paris Hilton" as his running mate. What was he thinking??? Pays to be true to yourself - win or lose. Hopefully this choice really is a President for all people and is sincere at reaching "across the aisle".

And the world saw how democracy works. We could have been republicans or democrats or we could be Americans. We could be subjects or citizens. I am so proud that we chose to be citizens who changed our government with ballots not guns. Where else in this world would this be a right and a privilege backed with law not weapons?

Was online live with the local paper and the other political and community contributors. At first it was fun and relevant, then it broke down into petty complaining and name-calling like any other chat room. Logged off about 9:30 as I was bored.

I think last night was summed up very crudely, yet eloquently today by two gentleman in a seminar I was evaluating. One said to the other "can't get any better than this- we have an African American as president and pot is legal!" Well guess it all comes down to bread and butter doesn't it? And we still haven't lost our sense of humor. We will be cracking jokes when the bomb drops...

Hooray for America!!!

OF WHINE AND CHEESE

Gathering up interested and available parties (2 of the committee & the paternal unit), we spearheaded a trip to wine country nestled in the little fingers of the Michigan mitten. We were hoping for a little color, but season was a little late this year. Beautiful, but just this side of the peak.

Paternal unit was interested in the first stop on the first rainy afternoon sampling one wine which he promptly bought- and really wasn't interested in too much of the sampling that went on after that. We started off with lunch in a crazy animal-head filled restaurant with an old wooden bar. Dad of course had to peruse the entire building before we sat down and started looking frantically for him, thinking we locked him in the car. He flirted with the waitress who he thought was too old, of course, and ogled the younger women in the next booth. Then when he unfortunately brought out his credit card first, we all handed him the lunch bills. The one sad note. There were many moose heads of varying sizes hanging on the walls, one of which was wearing a party hat. I pointed out that it was too bad he was shot on his birthday.

Dinner was another hilarious affair. The first restaurant recommended was filled by the time we got there (no reservations) with a 30 minute wait. As I have often said, I will wait in line for the 2nd coming, not before. Fortunately a nice place was about a block away with a great view of the bay and no waiting. People tend to look at us as we are definitely people who enjoy our time together-too bad. As I don't eat potatoes or bread I ordered a double helping of veggies with my steak, thinking California medley which is what they all usually bring. This produced a rather bemused look from the waiter (who was from Lansing -MSU). Imagine my dismay when he brought 2 large cooked squash EHHHHH. Hate squash. I admit I also pick out any onions with the audacity to appear in my food, but fortunately Burt has gotten used to my weird food fetishes.

On a whim we stopped at a top floor bar in the Park Place Hotel with a view of the water. The only seats available were at the piano bar and the piano player knew all the oldies and every song that had Sweet in it. There was even a drunk girl there named Lori who befriended us (or fell on us at times) so the committee was complete. At one point when we told the piano player that Dad was from Detroit in the big band era, he asked if Dad ever heard of Tassie's Tavern? OMG - Dad worked there back in the early '50's. Deja Vu all over again. The piano-singer, Tom Kaufman, makes these wire nameplates and he made one for Dad that said "SWEET". They all play their unique music based on the shape and number of figures. Dad happily played with it all night. Tom also has shakers and noise makers that patrons can use to provide rhythm accompaniment to his music and Dad thoroughly enjoyed marking time. It was one of those spontaneous happenings, that we could not have planned if we tried. As a lover of music, parties and piano bars, I saw Mother's hand in all of this!

Next morning on to the wineries. Amazing how tasty and natural wine sipping can be at 10:30 in the morning. And 11:30 and 1:00 and 2:30. After awhile the paternal unit remained in the car and read the paper-but we did leave a window open for him so he could stick his head out. I think he enjoyed the scenery and the water more than anything else on the trip.

Have to mention one of my "bon mots" of the trip. As we were rolling up and down the ski hills of the area trying to find the next little vineyard on the map we saw a lot of livestock - cows mostly. Marcia mentioned it must be hard on the cows having to go up and down the hills all the time. Without thinking I blurted out "Yes, but they have great calves". Much hilarity, but even better when later that night Dad asked what the joke about cows was about. I believe he found it amusing and pointed out his sense of humor was intact and finely tuned. I know that from some of the hair-raising stories he has been telling us lately....

FALL - ING SCENES

Fall is my favorite season. Yet it seems that something always happens at this time of year, personal or professional that makes me question why I love this season. To me it is a time of renewal even more so than the awakening Spring. Can it be the crisp feel of the evenings? An unexpected carpet of exhausted leaves dressed in their seasonal finery even as they lay fallow on the ground each morning? The children and the buses clogging the roads as they get back to the serious business of life put temporarily on hold during the, oh so brief, summer? Or is it just because I am a late Fall baby?

I do know I don't have to worry anymore about getting that tan I fake all summer. I guess when I'm 80 and not horrendously wrinkled I will bless my aversion to the sun. So many great products on the market these days to give you that sun-kissed glow, and I do love the fashion trend of not wearing hose-pale as Caspar-but it just plain don't matter. Way cool. Now I won't worry about it until we head for our cruise in January. Though I rather suspect a hot golden tan as we commence the trip would be rather unexpected. That luscious ruddy (red) glow when I get off the ship is what people will remember, stare, giggle and point.

And yes, this is the week that the one year anniversary of our dear heart's passing occurs. I didn't know what to expect and how I would feel. How could I? I feel that it was yesterday and as I look at a picture or hear her voice in my head, it still does not seem real. How could I be a motherless child? Why do I feel so connected when she has been gone a whole year? Yet I do. When I hug my own child, when I laugh with my sisters, when I listen to my Father reminisce, it is as if she is in the other room. When I dream I see her active, fiery and always laughing. She has a cloud of dark curly hair and in one scene she is tipping back a cigarette? Who knew the afterlife would allow you such unhealthy indulgences?

My sisters saw her passing this week in a gently swaying ornament and a message on a microwave. So mundane, yet so Mother. Where is the butterfly that I kept seeing at odd moments over the past year? We even planted a Rose of Sharon bush to entice and indulge my butterfly fetish.

Yet now that I think of it, I realize I have been overly concerned this week about my philodendron at work that one of my emps gave me at her passing. I always forget to water it and end up pouring my coffee in it, yet it thrives and grows in spite of my neglect for more than a year now. And what is perched over the overflowing green stem and leaves but a fragile, incandescent little butterfly. Oh duhhh...

PARTY SCENES

Couple of family events lately. We always have so much fun together, wonder what the rest of the world does for recreation? Couple of great get-togethers at my sister's new place. No more than sitting on the porch, listening to the IPOD and sipping increasingly exotic drinks. Or do they become increasingly exotic as we sip each one? Too deep for my mental capacity. Anyway, we have ended up spending the night each time, as we are too tipsy to walk (well I am anyway) or it just feels right. Both times someone or several someones has come down with some malady in the night which leads to much hilarity the next day, except of course, for the one or ones suffering the deficient health moment.

The Committee, daughter and daughter-in-law attended "Mama Mia" together. Are we the only ones who feel comfortable enough to sing the songs, do a little chair dancing and laugh when Pierce Brosnan tries to sing? Major good time was had by all. Of course helps if you find the music of ABBA to be a musical statement of the '80's. In between disco of course. Laughed and cried at a totally "just for fun" movie. Even the actors seemed to have a good time with this film. Event followed up by the mandatory stop at the pub for cocktails and munchies. I had to explain to the young bartender (after much prompting by the kinder souls in the party) how to make a vodka gimlet-shaken not stirred served "up" in a martini glass. Ah well, the job of the boomer generation is to teach the gen X'rs and Y's, etc....

Then we had a signature "end of summer" barbecue for Labor Day. The boys enjoyed several hours breaking in the "lower deck" as we have now dubbed it. My $1,000 deck that was created to suitably house my $100 wood burner. Ah well-it looks pretty sweet actually. I created signature cocktails with a Caribbean theme-translation lots of coconut rum, white rum and vodka. Did not realize until I inflicted one on my brother-in-law that one drink actually had 4 ozs of booze in it. In retrospect probably should have made that one in a pitcher. Ah well with enough brats and salad you can smother the effects, well maybe. Then I set off some fireworks, safely of course. Though I kept shousing myself so as not to disturb the neighbors. Someone pointed out, however, that it is tough to set off an unobtrusive firecracker -- Oh yeah. Well second theory, hide the evidence and be found innocently roasting marshmallows and singing camp songs.....

IT'S GOTTA BE SOMEBODY'S FAULT

My disgust rant of the day. Much of the spam I get relates to "You are owed money if you had a hip replacement, took a medication, had a child injured at birth (really hate that one), ate tomatoes, took a bath, played in a sandbox". Be part of a class action suit brought against whomever. They are so big they won't notice a couple thousand more people on the train I guess.

News flash. Living is risky. We make choices. We live, love, have children, drive cars, drink, smoke, eat in restaurants. At least living in America we don't have to dodge suicide bombers and armed bodyguards escorting "impotent" (deliberately misspelled)folks. At least not yet. In other words, sometimes things just happen. It is not someone's fault. Tough as it is to just deal with it and move past and above misfortune, it is what truly responsible adults do.

When we all feel "entitled" the truly needy, the truly wronged get lost in the shuffle of greed. And guess who pays for those settlements. We do in higher costs for products, services and in higher taxes. I love those who come out of the woodwork to sue local govts when their loved ones, who trust me, the family wrote off long before, do something so heinous the authorities do what they are trained to do.

Sometimes I wonder if there are too many legal folks out there looking for something to do. I have no problem with someone making money and a lot of it through hard work, intelligence and luck, what the heck. But if you have time to research some obscure issue and then build a huge lawsuit out of it, you ain't got that much to do Lucie.

WHISPERS & CYMBALS

Heard something that struck a cord today, quietly. The most important things, truths, worthwhile issues probably occur in small moments, subtleties, whispers if you will. The nosier the presentation, the less importance is accorded the message. It's all about the tumult. The tumult itself somehow becoming the issue. A moment lost when we focus on the colors, the clowns, the circus.

Especially apt in the midst of this political season. The more noise they make, the sillier the actual words and the less we listen. Yet we form opinions from the explosive smoke and mirrors delivered in place of answers. Deliver me and offer a simpler note, a gentler song, an act of real worth.

Address the economy, the loss of American stature in the world, the never-ending wars, the disenfranchised who will die as they cannot afford medical marvels available to those who can pay. Stay out of our bedrooms and churches and focus on the issues that mean something. I can dream.

DOG DAYS FUN & ADVENTURE

I have to quit doing this to people.

My exercise place decided to decorate for the season. I arrived early one morning to see DOGS DOGS DOGS! Hanging from the ceiling, taped to the wall, dog bones and dog toys scattered hither and yon (do people still say that?). I pointed out to the sweet morning lady - "you know it's an ancient Greek tradition to call this time the dog days as the Dog Star Sirius occurs at this time of the year (anytime between early July to early September), or you could blame the poem bemoaning Mad Dogs and Englishmen". She stops, looks at me and says "now why didn't you tell me that before I did all this work?" And we both laughed. I told her, don't worry most people won't get it anyway.

More fun. After much begging by the guy organizing the extravaganza, I agreed to serve on the Burt man's golf team which also included his friend Dave W and Dad. The organizer pointed out that I didn't want to golf with my old man having put myself on Roy-boy's side. I said, yes I am. Had him puzzling for days. Anyway golfed about as well as expected by someone who goes out once maybe twice a summer. However after 4 holes we were 2 pars and 2 birds due primarily by the boy hitting some awesome drives and me making one miraculous putt (pays to pray). But then everyone went to sh---, which is not surprising when 2 of us do not golf that often. Actually Dave hit some long ones, however his sense of direction is a tad off, so I think he was the winner of the most balls lost contest. And when we had to use one of my drives, "we's in big troubles".

One crazy shot had us all putting one between the trees because, as Dad pointed out, a tree is 90% air anyway. Dave finally hit this amazing shot through the trees, over the creek and onto the green. We were laughing so hard, we're lucky the rest of us got a shot off. However we ended up 2 over. Needless to say we did not stay for the payoff of the "skins". There was a memorable moment when we were shooting entirely over a pond on a par three. I nailed the bugger easily 125 -150 yards. Unfortunately I decided at that precise moment that a slice was called for---"SPLASH". Ah well, that's why we carry extra balls.

However we did get our money's worth (more shots taken and 2 meals). Between 7:30 and 2 pm we had breakfast, goodies at the turn and lunch. And by golly we took 'em all because after all, we had paid for it.

We rounded out Saturday by enjoying a great barbecue at my Nephew's new home. I could live on their wrap-around patio. Then we ladies adjourned to the movies to allow my niece a little downtime from her bundles of joy while the gentlemen cleaned up and watch the Tigers win one for once. It was some movie about pants, I'm still not sure the back story, and the popcorn was good. Burt man said niece Colleen (the hostess) settled down on the floor to color which of course drew the little ones like moths to a flame. Hope her light carpet is impervious or compatible with wax crayons of various hues. LOL.

NATURE OF LIFE AND DEATH

As I gaze out my patio doors, I can't help but be amused by the fickleness of Mother Nature. The plants exposed to the deluges of June are now towering over the metal fence like a crocheted green afghan. However due to her stinginess with the moisture since, the tomatoes took their own sweet time. This of course prompted rain dances and artificial means of sustenance. But now in the beginning of August, giant cucumbers, onions and several types of tomatoes insist upon coming to fruition all at once. Fie!

A lady I know mentioned another fact of nature: mainly that she has had confirmation of cancer in a new spot from two previous areas she had brutally excised and "che-moed" to death. She debated with herself on whether she had the strength to fight once again or just let nature take its course, though that could be a painful journey of an indeterminate length. She smiled and said "well we all live like there's no tomorrow and you could step off the curb and get hit by a car". Though I nodded at the wisdom of that, privately I have to consider. Isn't it different when you can see the car coming and know that soon you will be beneath its wheels?

THE DRUIDS WERE RIGHT

On a whim my daughter text messaged an invitation to go riding today. I was happy to agree and we realized we had not been to the stables in a very very very long time. Perfect morning for it with a temperature in the low 70's and a wrangler who knew all the shady areas but without an overwhelming urge to chatter. Heaven.

Each of us happy in our own thoughts and realizing this is a perfect exercise where you reap the benefits of maintaining a straight posture, and experiencing a challenging thigh-master workout each time you trot. My boy, Chad, was feeling frisky and teasing for a nip of leg which of course I did not allow. A few tentative tree scrapings were attempted and thwarted, so he settled down.

The corn was as high around us as the proverbial "elephant's eye" and it looked like the passing horses have been reaching in for quick bites as the front row of each field was neatly filed down by eager teeth. I explained to the other two ladies that it was similar to the three of us walking past a table laden with dark chocolate. Regardless of good intentions, we are going to sneak a nibble.

As the horses are commonplace in this area, and they have a stronger randier odor than the humans astride, the other animals in the area usually stick around to say "howdy" without noticing the extra, insignificant appendage atop each one. We were treated to Mama does and their spotted offspring who watched and waited until our paths crossed before sliding into the thick vegetation. I understand that often the elder deer will sacrifice the smaller, younger ones by sending them out first or leaving them out last. Which explains why they are the elder deer, duhh. An abrupt stop to enjoy wild turkeys and their offspring perfectly camouflaged by the greens and browns and shadows of the deeper woods.

Altogether a beautiful start to Sunday morning worship in a tree topped cathedral supported by a choir of noisy peacocks, and concluding with a homily of joy from the barn kittens pouncing on sunbeams.

BUTTERFLY SCENES

It happened overnight! My Rose of Sharon bush (affectionately named Rosie) we planted in hopes of attracting butterflies has stubbornly refused to blossom. In fact she showed nothing but terminal signs ever since we planted her; bending as each horrific storm struck her; leaves drooping and weeping down from the plant. Petal by petal dropping to form a puddle of yellow at her feet. We watered, we didn't water. We fed her plant food and talked to her (well I did) trying to explain the significance of her survival in that little spot by the corner of the house.

And then this morning the Burt man led me to her and said "Look"! There proudly shimmering from the highest branch the most delicate and beautiful pink blossom so much like the carnations our Lady loved. As we looked closer, dozens of little buds are forming getting ready to dress our little Rosie in her summer finery. And anti-climatic as it may seem, a translucent little white butterfly floated triumphantly around the plant giggling a little B-Fly giggle as if to say "oh ye of little faith".

You see the boy researched and found that Rose of Sharon attracts butterflies and as those who have followed my blog know, I believe they are Mother's representatives checking in...

JULY 17,2007

I found the words from that day when I sat in a chair to one side and he sat next to her stroking her hand. They have the ability to hurt as much as they did when I wrote them one year ago.

"I saw my Father grow old today-60 years loving, fussing, laughing and crying. Keep her breathing. Sitting in silence when once it was "JIM" until you wanted to scream. Please holler at him-can't you hear me? Stay with me. I am not ready for her to go, he said today."

ELECTION SCENES

Our question this week for the Lansing State Journal was "What is the number 1 Issue that will influence your vote for President in November?" Duhh-though I agree and concede the economy and the endless costly war, I wrote something different which even my more conservative spouse related to:

"We need a government that recognizes what made America great. The freedom to achieve whatever our aptitude and daring allow. A government that focuses on national issues and stays out of our churches and bedrooms. Stop destroying and over-regulating our ability to choose our own path. Take care of those issues that we as individuals cannot. Take care of the hopeless, the children, the working poor. Otherwise leave us alone to forge our own way without detours. Do I get to vote for that?"

ANNIVERSARY OF SORTS

Today marks one year since Mother electrified us all with her first, tentative visit to the other side. Only a strong set of genes and unwillingness to let go brought her back as we now understand.

For a year I have carried a notepad with the thoughts that were going through my head as I watched Dad stroking her hand and asking her to come back. It is easier for me to write than to think what I cannot bear. But oddly enough today when I wanted to write it, the notepad has disappeared. It will be painful to write and even more painful to read if I do come across those words.

Apparently my butterfly has decided this week of play and celebration should not be marred by thoughts of sorrow. Ok you win again my dear......

MORE BIRTHDAY SCENES

What a birthday week. Mother would have had a fit! Roy boy played golf Monday and Tuesday on leagues and then came over to pick up Burt Man. They proceeded to bang another 18 holes in. Dinner was succulent pork chops and general collapse on the couch after Dad and I killed a bottle of red wine. He really likes wine, when you give him some good stuff. He even drank it at room temperature. I made a reservation online for Golden Ide and Diamond Jim for early Wednesday and they were not too proud to take advantage of the 84-years young birthday boy's senior discount. They hit the road before I left for work!

They had a lousy breakfast on the way and had to wend their way through the Junior League at the Emerald; playing through when they could and whining old age when they couldn't. Finished in record time and meandered up to Soaring Eagle for a little entertainment. Dad of course had "freebies" coming for his birthday that covered gas and lunch and, oh I don't know, a little bit of gambling. Waiting in line to get B man a Players Club card they read a sign indicating another $10 when you sign up a friend-I suppose it can be an enemy or relative or dog or whatever-$10 is $10. Consequently, Dad ended up losing $2 and Burt made $15. I arrived home to find them collapsed on the couch again in the fetal position. The first cocktail of the evening had already been drunk.

Of course I wouldn't force the B man to make dinner after "playing" all day, so we went to Dads favorite Italian place for dinner where we indulged in further martini time and good food. Kristen joined us and we ended up talking about babies and labor, etc for some odd reason.... hmmmm. With Dad's selective hearing, all he heard was baby and exclaimed "What you're pregnant?" No, no, but nice of you to drop into the conversation. After an extremely hilarious dinner we trekked back to the ranch and indulged ourselves with "Birthday Pie"-who needs cake. However, I had to make a mad dash to the store for ice cream as apparently whipped cream is not what you put on "birthday pie". Who knew? After stuffing our turkeys, dead silence reigned as the three of us lay in stupors digesting the day. Fortunately our couch is big enough for three.

Dad finally tootled off to bed and the boys were back up and at it again this morning for another 18. I saw the fading taillights of the big red "Broozer" heading down the street as I came back from exercising at 6:10 am. I am speculating that the big guy arrived home and has not been heard from again. How many years can he pull off this birthday caper. RIGHT ON DAD!

RANDOM SCENES

SCENE 1
Yes, we attended the SEX in the CITY en masse-the committee-great fun. We were pleasantly spread out in the first row of the upper deck feet comfortably resting on the railing in front. In marches a lady and her 10-11 year old boy. How stupido! This show was never for children and the movie has quite graphic sex scenes every 10 minutes (my bod should look so good at their age). Well the lady will have a wonderful time explaining that to the boy.

Oh heck no. This is GR where you get sued if you teach anything except abstinence, but heaven forbid if you actually explain anything to your own children. I imagine "just don't do it" should be sufficient-look at how well that works....

Anyway good show-lots of cliches, fabulous clothes, giggles and tears while ingesting that famously diet killing movie popcorn. Well I did drink designer water with it. Then the four of us marched out side by side exactly like the ending when the camera kept popping from the four of them to foursomes around New York city and the four of us (oh yeah we probably weren't on camera). Over to a local bistro for the requisite cosmos-pretty in pink.

SCENE 2
What started out as a $100 fire pit to roast, oh I don't know, marshmallows and stray branches, became $500 plus many hours of back-breaking labor to create a place to ahh ahh put it. In retrospect, I think it would have been cheaper to pay to dump our branches at the local landfill, however roasting the marshmallows would have been a tad tricky. Although the Burt-man did the majority of the heavy lifting, I assisted in the sand leveling (why one must drag that 2X4 47 times to make sure it's flat explains why I would never choose landscaping as a career-or perfectionism for that matter), loading, and unloading and laying blocks. I finally wised up and put on gloves as these lily white hands are made for writing not laying stone. Trust me there was a pattern involved and it is there, it's just that you have to make it all fit don't you know-so ease up on the critiques thank you very much.

Then fool that I am and obviously not one who learns from experience, I decided to buy a couple of stepping stones to transition from "High Patio" to "Low Patio". Of course several dollars and hours later, we now have a full pathway. ARRRGHHHH. But since the 4th of July extravaganza moved from Lansing to Spring Lake we will have to postpone the inaugural smashing of the champagne glass (accidents happen) until a later date. At least we have filled in part of the ungrowable to something besides dirt, but we have a way to go to finish the entire project.

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Hey the Gypsy Marcia of the flashing eyes and ebony hair is celebrating her birthday today with eye surgery. Girl you so know how to party with them fancy pain meds! Just don't pull a Rush Limbaugh and blame the liberal press!

Yah Mon. Though the myth of the liberal media is actually some talking heads who scream a lot-both conservatively and liberally with no facts behind their rants and people think it's news - duhhhhh. Give me the hard working news buddy who actually does "RESEARCH" and strives to find the facts. Not entertaining enough I guess for the "people".

Fun weekend. Major storms dancing through town in the early evening for three days. Spectacular light shows and booming applause. Oh yeah lots of trees down and roofs ripped off too. Matt and Kristen were out of power Friday night and finally came over Sunday to get showers, get some air conditioning and go potty..... Had a pretty fun night especially when Matt started reading my 20 year old medical book out loud and adding his own editorial comments. We are all suffering from some major malady which is why we should never start reading the darn thing to begin with.

Anyway I'm trying to talk the "committee" into a cosmo/Sex in the City escapade for the birthday girl. We have to go as our character. I'm Samantha, Marcie is Miranda, Kathy, Charlotte and Lori is Carrie. Should be interesting to see what we all wear especially since Lori would never wear mile high shoes, though I would LOL.

MOTHER'S DAY - 2008 The Count-Down Begins

Great day yesterday! The Sweet girls took over the salon in Grand Rapids that my sisters frequent. Our beautiful daughters Kristen and Colleen are the next generation of Sweet girls so they of course had to be part of the mix and there are "no flies on them" when it comes to having a good time and partying down. Nothing but laughter, jokes, pampering and remembering. A healthy dose of mimosas to get us started and delicious fruit parfaits in case our energy flagged. It started out as a rallying of support for the eldest Sweet girl getting her long hair clipped, but evolved into everyone having something altered, primped, polished or massaged. Hmmmm sounds rather naughty - but seriously it was all women! Then as Kathleen still wasn't done-GEEZ-we adjourned to the Sports Bar next door for some munchies and whatever. Well we were hungry!

Then on to the Davis' new abode in Spring Lake for massive injections of exotic cocktails coupled with barbecue in between booing the Ti-gres as they lost another one. For some reason we got into taking a shot every time someone would use the word, ahh, ahh, "di----hea". Well if you were there, you know. Amazing how many times various members could slide or slither (eww) that word into the conversation. At one point a cocktail was upset which led to the already hyper Jack Russell lapping up the rug - for FIFTEEN MINUTES! We hoped it would slow him down a little. As they were replacing the carpet on Wednesday, we felt no qualms about the various "accidents" that we were encouraged to have. No, no one wet the rug, we were just a little sloppy. Very quiet ride home, but fortunately our designated driver is a pop-aholic so we were good.

Today Burt and I went to church together so when they "blessed" the Mothers, I didn't look unwed - LOL. Offered the moment to my own Mother who we all still see and remember in various ways. Happy Mother's Day Mom- I miss you.

MAY MEANS MOTHERS DAY

Well it is almost Mother's Day when this time last year, our Mother began her last journey. None of us knew it was her last of course. That would have spoiled her surprise. We continued to visit and laugh and push and pull and ask her advice. She gave it. Oh she crabbed a little more, ok a lot more, but the laughter would ring out when we would visit so much the nurses would poke their heads in to see what was going on. Because you see, laughter is not a commodity one finds very often in a hospital or a nursing home.

She came through crisis after crisis. She pushed to be a part of the events of the summer - wedding, birthdays..... She tried but she got tired. We asked her to stay one more month, one more day but she had other plans. She left at the height of Fall's beauty and was buried on a day that rivaled summer's warmth. Each event since she passed has been marked by her presence-one way or another. For me it's butterflies. We daughters keep the torch lit and the procession intact.

But it's Mothers Day again and we remember.

MAYDAY

It has been pointed out to me that I have not posted in a while. Not really lack of adventures. Lack of ambition? Too many gimlets? Lack of the muse? Pick one-we will tabulate the answers and post the results. Anyway.

Spring has sprung-say that cautiously as we never know where Mother Nature could be lurking or the Tooth Fairy or the neighborhood perv I suppose. Let's see-spent some time in Florida in March. Nice thing about fair skin-only takes an hour or two on the beach to produce color- owww! But it's starting to fade-bring me some sun! Did you know they have wineries in Florida? Well neither did we. Yes, flea markets, air boats,horrible drivers, gridlock and palm trees, but wineries? Actually they seem to focus on the fruity side, well duhhhh. Problem was, we had to literally drink a bottle a night as we did not want to take chances on packing fruity, cloying liquids amongst our dirty underwear. Made the evenings much more entertaining though.

Decided to beat the early bird rush/lineup one night by going to dinner at 8:30. Works-no waiting, however they are "out of everything". Did sit there one night amidst a tremendous clatter and table shaking as the latest landing of the Challenger made it's way back to the Cape. Very cool. Though actually I just thought it was the ancient air conditioning kicking in.

Hit the last Tigers exhibition game in Lakeland which they sailed through 14-5 and then they went on to lose 7 in a row. Things have improved since then. At the moment, Pistons are up 3-2, RedWings 3-0 and Tigers are ahead 4-3-COOLLLLL.

IN THE HEART OF WINTER

Was nicely presented with wine and appetizers Thursday night when I got home from work. Very nice, very relaxing and very necessary as we couldn't get a reservation for dinner until 8:00! Ah well, allows time to enjoy one or two or several glasses of wine which, oddly enough, makes any dinner even better. No doubt as taste buds have now been numbed. Then, of course, one must follow up with a pre-dinner pinot gris before ordering dinner.

So tell me. We were in East Lansing, MSU territory and there were, understandably, many young people and their cute little dates there. So tell me - why do they seat the high rollers in the middle of the room and the "kids" in the romantic booths? Who is paying for an expensive dinner plus a generous tip and who is scrabbling for quarters in the seat cushions to pay their bill?

BRRRRRR SCENES

Looking out the patio doors I see the happy dance of baby snow tornadoes racing across the buried backyard. I watch the latest flock of cardinals, chickadees and one lone woodpecker clinging frantically to the bird feeder snatching up icy seed. They will stay there all day, interchangeable with other family members, as they tuck away food like a famished driver hitting a truck stop. No doubt they bitch about the food and tell about their near misses on the roads and/or skies.

Which reminds me. Burt noticed a small hawk perched on the grill the other day. Small meaning it was only 2 times the size of our resident doves. He then floated up to the bird feeder to wait. No doubt he appreciates our convenient restaurant accomodations for the movable feast he calls dinner. Well carnivores have to eat too!

We do not discriminate against any who choose to dine at "Cher Ide". Come as you are. The birds and squirrels look permanently pregnant as they fluff up feathers and fur, respectively, to ward off the cold. Normally conversation is diminished as they save their breath for chewing. Although occasionally a small skirmish breaks out as bigger birds try to oust the smaller ones. The squirrels conjure up enough energy to chase each other and attempt to hide corn put out for the deer in one of the burlap-covered bushes.

The deer always wait a day after service has been provided and remain ever vigilant as they chew with one eye always moving, checking the area. Very difficult to do, unless you are a deer of course. I love to turn the backyard floodlight on and we stare at each other through the glass, darkly, of course for you literary fans.

WINTER SCENES

Made a trip to Grand Rapids in a blizzard the other day and I am so glad I used the facilities before and during. WHEWWWWW!!! I believe I drove the entire route with fingers clenched so hard it would have taken a tire iron delicately utilized to peel them off the artificial leather or applied to my noggin until I lost consciousness. I also believe my butt did not sit firmly in the seat but instead was suspended about 3 inches above the seat-apparently that helps keep the car on the road. I am not questioning logic that worked!

You know that teeth baring grin that people display on roller coasters as they are spun sideways and upside down. Rather an attitude: I am really having fun; I am not scared; look I am smiling grimacing, screaming internally very very very loudly. Well that is probably the look on my face as I slid majestically past wrecked semi-tractors and tiny little cars that weigh, oh I don't know, maybe 200 lbs. Great on gas mileage but absolutely worthless in a bad weather driving situation. And those fancy 4-wheel drive and SUV monsters that roar past only to wave sadly to the less adventuresome from the ditches into which they have decided to take a scenic detour. Do not make eye contact or you will have to stop. Which, by the way, may not have been possible with the wind and generally icy pavement passing beneath my wheels.

Particularly exciting were the trucks perched on the side of a steep and curved piece of highway much like metallic traffic cones daring unwary drivers to attempt the newly created obstacle course. No doubt they sat in their cabs with stopwatches and clipboards rating both skill and timing as cars negotiated the "truck moguls" that appeared on our highway ski hill. Zero points of course awarded to the wipe-outs, spectacular as they may be.

I love Michigan! By the next afternoon I was cruising 75 miles per hour on the way back on dry pavement.

LATEST RANT

I finally provided a 500 word piece to the local paper last Thursday, January 17. It turned out to be something different than what I thought it would be which was a tirade on the over-medication of society. Instead it ended up being a piece that talked about drugs, yes, but also about grief. When I figure out how to download it, I will put it on the blog.

I also wrote something for the "Committee" both Senior and Junior, that I will send to them tomorrow. I am a little apprehensive of their reaction. You see, tomorrow would have been our Mother's 80t birthday.....

SOCIAL SCENES - HAPPY 2008

Back to the office after an extended period. January is all about performance evaluations for my staff which have absolutely no bearing on anything of importance except taking up time. If you only to talk to your staff once a year, you have a major problem anyway. Not that anyone listens. You get little nagging e-mails with a reminder, which become progressively more aggressive if you ignore the system.

But it may be how the electronic monster is fed - sending cryptic notes about DOOM & DESPAIR-Jiminey Cricket and Bona Bonita have to be written about in great detail, lest I forget apparently. Fill in 2007 and the monster reacts again! It is still not satisfied. More notes, more reminders. You must now tell Jiminey and Bona how much fun they will have in 2008- DO IT-DO NOT THINK-DO NOT PASS GO - AND DEFINITELY DO NOT PICK UP ANY EXTRA GOLD!!!!

However, such mind-numbing tasks were forgotten in the socializing that we did manage over the last couple of weeks. Met the "Committee" and associates (husbands/father/youngster) for dinner around 6:30-we were still quaffing wine, finishing each other's dinners and discussing life, love and the pursuit of happiness at 9:45. Typical when we get together.

The first game was trying to determine the identity of the tuxedo-clad gentlemen in the next private room from our (apparently they have entertained us before, so we get a private room-I believe that to be a compliment). They were wearing red fedoras and a variety of ornate medallions on chains. Guesses ranged from the "old men's red hat society"; "court jesters"; "officials of the court"; "doormen". The last guess was based upon their eagerness to hold doors for the ladies of our party.
And the winner is "JESTERS". Yes, I know. I had no idea they had their own society-probably helps for bookings and not repeating each other's materials.

As I had requested dinner and dancing we adjourned to the bar area where "The Middle-Aged White Band" (just a guess) were holding court. Ahem, we were the proverbial spring chickens in the room. You just haven't lived until you see 70-somethings trying to jive to CC Ryder. I noted they played a slow tune every other selection which Burt, the comedian, noted "they probably don't want to see heart attacks on the dance floor". Good point.

The following week Dad came over for dinner at his now favorite Italian restaurant in Lansing where he decided he wanted to discuss the state of the world and the candidates running for Prom King or Queen. His views have become aggressively negative lately, so I was forced to defend liberalism at the top of my voice as he is a "tad" hard of hearing. No doubt the entire restaurant now knows my views. Oh well. At least no rabid Republicans picketed the table.