THE BIDET-BEAT GOES ON (May 3/142 or not)

                                                                                             

BEST QUOTE "You take really good care of your feet" the doctor said at my semi-annual checkup. No lauding of my 7 lb. weight loss, lower A1C and stellar triglyceride reading. Makes me wonder what visual deformities he has to witness when examining patient feet. I do think the bright red polish is a nice touch.  I'll take the win.  

REALLY? I could be wrong and too quick to jump to conclusions. We may never know if the attack on the President was real or orchestrated. What was real, is 95% of the people in that room did not know it was coming and then experienced a personal hell when they realized they may not live through the night. Did they wish they had said I love you to their families before leaving home? Did they wish they had noted their personal escape route? Also, we all know the drill. When police are confronted with knife or gun and a leaping assassin, they riddle him/her with bullets and ask questions later, yet nobody really fired?

Reporting on these tragedies is one thing, being one of the terror-stricken victims is on another plane altogether. The complacency that many feel that this is just the cost of living in America need to know what it feels like to be a victim. Meanwhile school children get "thoughts and prayers" and the President has a press conference to pitch he needs a golden ballroom. He's 79, he should have needed a timeout and diaper change. As one who has trained and been trained on these types of episodes, the victims are usually a tad more rattled. Perhaps, dementia is a blessing. 

BATHROOM UPDATE Much of the week was spent on picking out goodies for the bathroom make-over as we get her ready for her close-up. As the second bathroom vanity was literally hanging on by its hinges and the bottom (plywood) shelf was sagging to the floor we also had to make material decisions about that. You know you should never think the original estimate is the cost-think contingency, surprise issues and more expensive choices. Whatever savings I found going with a molded rather than tile shower I assume will be easily eaten up by our more expensive "what the hell" attitude to new fixtures. As I pointed out frequently, I only redecorate every 40-50 years so there's that. 

Our contractor suggested a trip to a particular stone company as they often have remnants that could fit our stone vanity vision and turn-around is one week compared to 3-4. However, amidst all their remnants (mostly white and gray) we could not find one that had the touch of green we are looking for to highlight the lily pad green of the cabinets. I stand corrected. I found an exquisite emerald with subtle gold/copper streaks that would make this bathroom jewel-like. They even used this quartz in their own showroom and like I said it's beautiful. However, here's the catch. As it's not a remnant, one must buy the entire slab which THEY GET TO KEEP AND SELL as a remnant after they take out what you need. That, of course, runs the price up 3-4 times. 

Consequently, I had settled on a piece instead, mostly white and gray sigh, with a hint of green on a good day if you squint and the sun is in the 7th house. I loved that emerald green, but oh well. At a different place where we ordered the cabinets, they had a supply of ho hum countertops which was another reason we went to the other place. After signing our lives away on my "lily pad" color cabinets we were on our way out the door when the OH spotted green quartz resembling the "stone that was rejected which became the corner stone" (biblical reference). No way. I pulled out my file folder (I folder every project) and compared. THIS WAS THE SAME DAMN QUARTZ which they quoted out at 1/3 the price of the other shop. Drop the mic, we're in.

I also had no idea how much fun it is to visit a contractor plumbing shop to pick out fixtures. Do you realize there are at least a half dozen different types of toilets, not counting the bidets. Our fixtures accent color is champagne gold -not brassy-not shiny, a subtle brushed gold compliment to the green countertop. Followed with the shower head choice in the same hue. They also had the exact type of medicine chest the OH wanted with built-in close-up mirror and we even found new lighting to match the whole ensemble. Aren't we fancy. Then for fun our "consultant" threw in towel rack, towel hook, toilet roll holder, stove and refrigerator all in the same color family. Ok I'm fibbing about the kitchen appliances. Couldn't find a toaster to match so the heck with that. We were in there for three hours and were not bored-go figure. 

Flooring also got chosen and we went with my usual dramatic look (like my kitchen floor). Surprised when we got the itemized invoice for the flooring. This is a small bathroom, but they are charging $229 alone for incoming freight and fuel surcharge! I don't know if this is normal as we have put floors in before and just had a total price. But I have a sneaking suspicious that this is the future folks. Thanks, marmie for all the extra we have to pay for your crazed attack that stopped 20% of all the oil moving throughout the world.

 JUST HORSING AROUND I usually pick the gray for the Kentucky Derby regardless of the odds. Mostly so I can follow the horse as gray stands out. I want to enjoy the most exciting two minutes in sports. However, "Great White" did not need to pitch his jockey and then clumsily fall down on himself. All the talk about him being the biggest horse in the race was not the advantage one would think. Horses are not used to falling down and going boom. If you don't want me to bet, you could be a little more subtle. The jockey didn't look so happy either, but at least he didn't get a ton of horse on top of him. 

BOWLED OVER Mom and Dad had a bowling party to kick off JP's birthday weekend. He had one friend and the rest of us were, shall we say, over 21. In some cases, WAYYY over 21. My team consisted of Nana, Grandpa, Grandma and Jaxiboy. First and foremost, I did not fall down, drop the ball or die. My knee, hip and back remained intact and there were no audible snaps or crackles from my bionic parts. As several of us had not bowled in eons, one alley ball was used by three people which slowed things up a bit. I had apparently given my old ball away, so I got there early and picked an alley ball that the OH doctored to fit. As one cannot expect a curving break with an alley ball and conventional grip, I tried to use angles with the straight shot that resulted. I didn't embarrass myself too much and the trash talk was kept to an acceptable level. I think JP spent his actual birthday day defying death on the ATVs he and his buddy were racing on the back forty so to speak. Teenagers carry the burden of an undeveloped sense of danger but fortunately they heal quickly. Love that boy!

  Peace Out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake/Drive Less 💚  💙💛

WHAT ME WORRY? (April 26/143 or not)

WE ALL SCREAM FOR!!!  Couldn't help myself. Those springy-summery couple of days forced my hand on ice cream. I have been very circumspect about no sugar, booze and snacking and then 77 degrees hits. Ummm. Hot dogs on the grill and a couple of scoops (small ones) of coconut almond ice cream. Argghh. One day of fun food means a two-pound shift on the old scale. Back to regimented diet before doctor appointment this week. However, all my blood tests showed improvements, so I guess eating right is actually a thing, darn. 

 Anyone else rather confused with vendors, mostly restaurants, pushing the use of credit cards over cash and then make you pay more for using a credit card? Which goes along with the higher prices as well. Please pick one. Also "tapping" your card means you shouldn't have to put in a code-isn't that the point?

Picked out cabinet color and countertop last week so things are moving. Though in getting the other bathroom ready for back-up duty, I find the darn vanity falling apart. So only $300 over allowance at this point, why not another new vanity. We will be taking showers in the sink and shaving over the toilet before this project gets done. Also hired the landscaper who can't start until June. Dilemma: do I harvest my rather substantial crop of weeds before the new work begins? Only downside I guess is looking like a bum who doesn't take care of my flower beds-Boo Hoo. 

Can't wait for my nurse eval this week where you memorize 3 words and then spit them back. At the moment I am juggling two projects with multiple vendors at the house, coordinating two podcasts and trying to clean out (evaluating trash or treasure) the cupboards that are going by-by for the bathroom remodel and sorting clothes for donation as it is my closet, of course, that will need to be cleaned out for the floor removal/replacement. Not to mention coordinating multiple dr appts and procedures for both of us. Yep, I'm diddly all right if I can't remember the three words. 

ON THE POLITICAL FRONT The first correspondent's dinner attended by marmie as president, in the middle of a couple of wars and we're supposed to believe a "lone" gunman gets through presidential level security and guns are fired outside of the room? At least an innocent person did not get killed in the latest distraction. Especially galling is the quick news conference touting the new ballroom that would have prevented this. Just saying...when poll numbers are down or magots are getting restless, "something" always happens. 

On the other hand, apparently attending sporting events is adequately secure for the orange one and his entourage. Not that I'm an expert, but why is our Sec of State going to wrestling matches instead of negotiating peace talks with Iran? Apparently, we are buying Iran as marmie sent two real estate skates - no experts in diplomacy, no nuclear experts, no military, just two bozos he is related to and golfs with. Makes sense...the impasse will go on. Wasn't the Strait of Hormoz open before we started firing Ferraris at Frisbees (million-dollar missiles at thousand-dollar drones)? Sooo, we are renegotiating what we already had in the original agreement, just spit balling here, but who's winning?

HOME FRONT OH and I just spent the last hour putting together our latest toy-a rolling gardening cart. Easy right? Fortunately, our roles are pre-determined. I read the instructions, he looks at the pictures and somehow, we make it through without yelling, throwing things and generally f--ng it up. I keep opinions to myself unless asked (I know right?) and yield to his logic and use of tools where I would just jam things together with a kitchen knife.  Instructions always seem to be deliberately vague, and a lot of guesswork ensues. However, every bolt was used so I call that a win. 

JP turns 14 this week so we are invited to his bowling party. I have been feeling I could maybe try to bowl despite all the extra internal hardware. Course I never could before so what makes me think I'd be any better now that I can't bend over. Actually, maybe that would be an advantage. JP can tell me what I'm doing wrong for a change... Peace Out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake💚💙💛

 

ENOUGH WITH THE APRIL SHOWERS ALREADY (April 19/144 or not)

FUN WEEK Good conference this week, though I am sorry our final panel on mental health did not pull the audience we were hoping for. Five excellent coaches on behavioral health including Bobby Hoffman of Channel 47. We sold all our booths and had a waiting list which has never happened. We are the hot conference, I guess. I introduced one of the speakers who talked about mitigating workplace violence as opposed to "preventing" which is a myth. He emphasizes "ain't nobody coming" so better figure out how to save yourself in that first 15 minutes. As an ex-cop, he uses somewhat "colorful" language. I interviewed him earlier in the year, but I am also the only one who can pronounce his difficult name, so I had the honor. He said just call him Lieutenant Dan (no not that one). 

"Person in the Street" promos went pretty well and after I tried out my questions on the first couple I sic'ed my protege on the rest. Hopefully we can use these all year to promote 2027. My student who was due Wednesday was in my booth when I got back from the Keynote Tuesday busily promoting the podcasts. Scheduling snafu which at first was upsetting as I was performing two live interviews Tuesday. Worked out as he was engaging, technically astute and I may possibly have hooked him up with a job as he is a graduating senior in Environmental studies. I think I should get an A in mentoring. Unfortunately, the second interview with the Keynote speaker never materialized as we kept missing each other. Oh well, always ZOOM.

A former difficult interviewee stopped by to say howdy while I was working with the student. He whined "she won't interview me again" figuring I would be polite with witnesses. Nope, "you're too high maintenance" I said. He was a bit flummoxed. Did I mention I am rather blunt and do not suffer fools gladly.  Instead of taking the small loss, he came back when I was alone and wanted to know why I won't interview him again. Making a long story short, he was difficult, wanted special treatment, interviewed when he sounded high (not proven, though I felt I needed to offer a different time), wanted to redo the interview, wanted me to feature his daughter in a second interview and then wouldn't let her say squat when I met with them and then made an insulting comment (not sexual, just extremely tone deaf). Guess it wasn't a short story. 

At any rate, I told him all of the above and said as a volunteer for the podcasts and with all the work that goes with it and no assistance, I get to choose who I will interview. I encouraged him to continue with his association with the conference-I think he's a speaker-but I don't have time or patience to make it work with him. We don't mesh. Ok, end of story. Nope-he went on for 10 minutes and I repeated myself calmly emotionless like a schoolteacher with an annoying student.  I did not know I was the IT girl when it came to podcasts. Best info I have is that I get about 1,000 listeners so not exactly world changing.  Though some people did stop by to say they listened every month so that was nice to hear. When I was telling the OH all this, he said probably no one has ever talked to him like that and told him no. Lol. Did I mention I can be extremely assertive when you get my Irish or Scorpio up? 

YOU SAID WHAT? It sure was fun being catholic this week with the VP lecturing the freakin' pope on "theology", 😕marmie dressing up like JC 😦 and hogshead quoting Tarantino at a prayer meeting for soldiers. That😅 stiff upper lip that soldiers cultivate must have come in handy. Meanwhile no one can find kissing petal (FBI) as he likes to lock himself in when he's drinking, which is most of the time allegedly. They almost called in a SWAT team as they couldn't get his office door open. This clown show, though I hate to denigrate clowns, are stepping all over their dic--s, er er, ties like the merry band of stooges they truly emulate. Unfortunately, they hold our futures in their tiny little hands.  

WHITE OR WHITE? The first baby steps (outside of a big down payment) have begun on bathroom design. We have seen and approved a new shower; met with the carpenter to design a new cabinet and begun discussing materials and paint colors. Now how close to our allowances can we come is the next challenge. 

FREEZE ALERT Well, of course there is. We are now entering Michigan's 2nd almost over winter timeframe. Don't tell the flowers and trees. Two days ago they were waving their fronds, petals, baby leaves, seeds in a merry welcome to Spring. Today, they are bowing to the north wind. The weeds are doing just fine, however. No matter how badly we mess up the world, Mother Nature carries on. Something comforting in that so, Peace out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake 💚 💙💛

                                                                                       

                                                                                       

ANOTHER DAY OF MIRTH AND MAYHEM (April 13/145 or not)

 

MERCY! Busy weekend with JP bowling in the City tournament all weekend and getting ready for the Safety Conference this week which includes two live interviews and launching a "Person in the Street" promotion. Putting together interview questions for 60 second slots we will use for advertising. As I am covering several events, I have to assure my roving reporters have what they need. 

This is a whole thing as I have to attend the keynote to take notes to interview her later. I have a back-up script based on her resume and program she sent me a copy of, so should be alright. This is also tricky as last year I conducted an entire interview and when I reached over to end the interview, I heard the immortal words "Recording Started" OOOPPPS. Two attorneys too! But they were nice enough to let me reinterview at a later date. 

 I've invited student interns to stop by as an audience so they can basically, "see how the sausage is made" on the podcast. Then one is assigned to me Wednesday morning to hype the podcast. Though our experience with our students, college aged mind you, are they are not terribly verbal. Well, they are in the wrong profession as we safety/health folks are a talkative bunch. That is trying to talk someone into or out of something most of the time. My daughter calls me negative, but 40+ years of assessing potential problems makes one a tad tiresome. The student's first name is Waymond so I have no idea if I'm getting a man or woman, puppy, kitten aardvark. But I shall embrace the mentoring opportunity.

Fun fact. The office set up my badge which due to my long association has a number of ribbons noting different affiliations. However, instead of a Board member ribbon, they attached Board Chair. Golly is that guy going to be pissed-can't wait to see his reaction. There will be drama.

BUILDING ON Also had a second bathroom bid, landscaper, roof repair and gutter cover install as well as dealing with the roof "shovelers" taking up my week. Big news, we accepted the second bid which was roughly half the cost of the first one. And the builder we chose is always the one we look forward to on Parade of Homes, as his houses are so beautiful. So, the adventure begins. Timeline was much saner as well. A lot of choices to make in next couple of weeks.

To stay organized I keep folders of significant projects. Which came in handy when I was scoping responsibility for some roof repair. The roofer did not have the records going back that far but the OH gleefully told him, "oh she has her copies" - Lol.

IT'S JUST A GAS After consulting my Gas Buddy app, the best price was Shell in town. As we pulled up the sign displayed the great price, but by the time we were at the pump it went up 50 fricking cents! Seems like those in the station should be ollie ollie oxen free. Of course, that's the least of our problems with old Marmie threatening to nuke Iranians to oblivion. And no one steps up (Congress looking at you) to say squat as he plays hide and seek with the nuclear codes. Are we living in an alternative world or just a turd filled one? Boggles the mind that the prez can threaten WWIII and congress does nothing. Fortunately, our fearless leader is a TACO. 

Now that Iran has us by the straits who gets sent to negotiate, basically, Obama's original Iran plan? A couple of golf buddies and an incompetent VP, rather than experienced negotiators and nuclear specialists. 

OUT'A BE A LAW In the midst of juggling vendors and spending a lot of money last week, I also had a dentist appointment requiring a drive downtown. As I am rounding the curve on 496 this dude in a black truck decides my lane is better than his. Rapid deployment to the dirt side of the pavement until he casually swings back to his lane. As I pass him, he's still looking down and fumbling with something. Now my question is, how do people have time to honk? I am right next to the dude and the time it would take to find the horn I would put me in the ditch or the side of his truck. I still think he doesn't know how close he came to a very bad morning. Fortunately, car cursing can be delivered while one is playing Mario Andretti Road games.  Drive responsibly people.

Don't you love the DEI in play as the majority running the moon mission at NASA were female, the pilot was black and the two mission specialists on board were female and Canadian respectively! Power to the people! Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor/Eat More Cake 💚 💙💛

BAA-HAPPY EASTER-BAA (THAT'S A SHEEP LIKE BAA BAA ETC.) (April 5/146 or not)

 

ALLELUIA! HE IS RISEN!                                                                                                

                                                                                   

NUMBER 2 FAKE SPRING As the monsoon season commences, flowers are even more a'blooming. Squirrels are frolicking, though they do it all winter-no doubt to keep warm. I believe the current dancing has more to do with dating and mating. I fear for our fragile buds and young grass as things get more frantic. Now begins the robin wars. They love to start nests in inappropriate locales when there are perfectly good trees all around. I sit in the window when online, so I was idly noticing a VERY fat robin dragging long pieces of straw, dead foliage, confetti across the front lawn and over the sidewalk. Then it dawned-nest building!! I perused the front yard. Every year other birds comically try to construct over the porch lights that are not flat enough or large enough to hold a hummingbird's domicile. Then I spotted it. A massive tundra-like garden appearing over the garage floodlights. Large enough for a bird condo, but uh-huh buddy-not happening. After recon (robins are extremely aggressive) I grabbed my trusty broom and delivered mayhem and destruction on the budding building project. I did not stick around for the retaliation sure to come. Two days later, a fully formed baby ready nest appeared. Noting no occupancy, I knocked the sucker down which, though reinforced with mud and blood and beer it was a little harder this time. This was apparently constructed through rainstorms, so the engineering was amazing. 

Another favorite spot is the back floodlight at least 20 feet in the air, so not broom accessible. That has led to past tragedies when the entire nest came down, and little naked birdies came down with it. We had one such tragedy at the lake house where Mrs. R builds above a drainpipe protected from rain and sun. It also offers a nice vantage point from the house, so we have allowed that one a pass. However, one of her fledglings made an unexpected drop to the grass below. As my then five-year old grandson was heartbroken, he talked his dad into gingerly returning it to the nest. We are not sure it survived but the immediate effect allowed a tender heart to be placated.                                                                                                

CRUELTY ABOUNDS Big week for marmie-no strategy war almost resulted in the capture and torture of a pilot and top generals were dismissed in the middle of the conflict (possibly for not agreeing to insane orders that will kill thousands of soldiers). Though I think we would rather they got together and declared a mutiny against, not the country, but the unqualified civilians giving the orders. The gold human toilet also declared Medicare, Medicaid and childcare should not be funded so we can use all our money to fight more wars. He also had time to shut down the majority of our parks system and cut budgets for FEMA, Housing and Education. States should immediately stop any payments to the federal government. And oh yes, he bitches that he golfs too much (er, that he's too busy fighting wars) to focus on his ballroom. The courts have put a stop to that, and he has declared he will just ignore that order so technically we have reached that constitutional crisis we've been hearing so much about. And the maggots wonder why we protest "No Kings"? They sure are making this a great country-so much winning.

COLOR ME... No egg coloring with the grandson this year- too old for childish things I suppose. He asked when I stopped coloring eggs. I had to admit, "I haven't yet". So true to my word, I colored all dozen eggs by myself this year for his basket. Oh yes, must have the basket. Whether or not he admits it, he will be looking for it-not to mention the older ones. I will miss the mad egg hunting where we devised truly diabolical hiding places as he got older. As it's a balmy 35 degrees this Easter, probably good year to skip it.      

Full Stop. Company has arrived. Peace out/Stay strong/Love thy neighbor/Eat more cake 💚  💙💛

MISSED/MIXED MESSAGES (March 29/147 or not)

MONDAY MONDAY Sunday is pick up sticks day as the roller people are coming to mash down the yard. Hopefully any underground creatures that burrow as well. Monday will be busy with a roof shampoo, roller people and another laughable quote on the bathroom. Being gob smacked by the first estimate, I want to extend the game further to see what number I'm going to reject next. Don't need marble countertops, extra sinks and rain head showers (horrible waste of water) so can't imagine what a "luxury" bath remodel would cost. 

FLOWER POWER Funny how that works. Countries who pursued green energy alternatives are weathering some of the oil crisis issues. Of course, our administration reads it exactly backwards by criticizing countries during the current oil shortage that they are unprepared (like we are lol) because of their green energy advances. Countries like Spain are getting a significant amount of energy from the sun. Duhh-you can't fix stupid. On the other hand, the latest orange debacle could actually push us into the electric/green energy world that he clamped down on as soon as he assumed the "throne" (potty, not golden). It still boggles the mind that we are basing our whole world's fragile existence and dying over oil. Wow the UFO folks must be shaking their heads at our inability to quit paying homage to dead dinosaurs and utilize the technology that already exists to harvest things like the sun, wind, ocean currents, volcanoes-you know renewable sources.

QUALITY CANDIDATES Speaking of the war on DEI... A highly educated attorney, prosecutor and vice president was not "qualified to be president but someone with an associate's degree in construction who worked as a plumber (I am a big proponent of the trades, just not as the head of ICE, TSA, FEMA, etc.) is deemed "qualified to run a large Cabinet-level multi-billion dollar position vital to our national security. And then there's the 22-year old ex-grocery clerk (who loves marmie) who was appointed to run the department of homeland security. What do they have in common? Both poor little under-utilized and underqualified white males-yep that tracks. I know the feeling. A year running the activity and the job goes to an unqualified white male and I continue to do the job and have to train the new boss. Yes, I understand. DEI sucks unless you're an unqualified white male. At least I had no qualms about my "loyalty" when I moved on to a better and bigger job at another locale as apparently loyalty only works one way. 

NO KINGS Beautiful day for a peaceful joyful protest against he who would be king both here and abroad. That darn Soros sure has a lot of money to pay 8 million + to rally. Best repugs could say was "you're so upset about gas prices, it was $4 under Biden". Wow, two problems with that 1) trying to regroup after the utter chaos of the first marmie invasion and covid and 2) it's the maggots that are upset about the gas prices duh.  Not about a convicted felon, a sexual predator, starting a war because of a "feeling", not about accepting bribes, not the killing of American citizens, not taking away health insurance, food assistance and 1,000s of federal employees (including TSA and Veterans Affairs and hospitals) but gas prices are what triggered their outrage. Dare I think they joined the rest of us on parade?

During these times of airport chaos, I bet people are missing old "Sleepy Joe" who passed a number of regulations about airlines making immediate cash refunds, rebooking at no extra fee, compensating for delays, etc. etc. Thank goodness marmie clawed all those "wasteful" perks back as soon as he was given the com-whew! Deregulation does have its little quirks.

"HIGH" SURPRISE Imagine my confusion and, I admit it, a little excitement when the OH relayed a phone message about someone trying to deliver our edibles. Although we have never partaken and probably not particularly interested, if someone feels we need a sample, perhaps it is only fate. So, I eagerly sat down to carefully listen to the phone message. "Edible Arrangements" is not the same as edibles-bummer. Second disappointment:  there was no identifier of who they were looking for, and the local store did not have an order in our name. All said. I would have been happy with the fruit.

MONEY MONEY Time to get back on the horse and prepare for my live interviews at the conference. These are fun and not as rigid as my usual. I still script, but there is just an added level of fun as my RECORDING sign starts blinking drawing passers-by to watch the show. I also got word that I received requests for six sponsorships so the next several shows will include a commercial as part of the spiel. All for a good cause (scholarships for EHS students) and I feel a bit like Paul Harvey (for the old people in the crowd) though I suppose his announcement of Page 2 when he goes to commercial is probably copyrighted. We're also going to use a roving reporter to snatch some candid impressions of the conference for publication. Quick 45-60 second spots I still need to write easy questions for. The mini-microphone looks like a puffball on a stick so very non-intimidating. Hopefully that will calm any stage fright issues. 

LAUNDRY BONUS I have mentioned my fondness for GS cookies and was able to supplement my frozen supply recently. Does anyone else have laundry cookies? The freezer is right next to the dryer and when performing my weekly task, I like to enjoy one of my frozen thin mints when emptying the dryer. Perfect for the long trip back up two flights of stairs with the clean clothes. My reward so to speak.  Peace out/Stay strong/Love your neighbor/Eat more cake....💚   💙💛

DON'T STEP ON THE DAFFIES! (March 23/148 or not)

SPRINGING!! I'm sure we all noticed the obvious and momentous moment when Spring officially arrived at 10:46 am Friday, March 20. Flowers blooming, bunnies bouncing, sunshine and rainbows. Not so much? Well, everyone knows if it says so on the calendar it must be true. I stupidly chose to stick with a sweater and no coat so obviously winter has blown it's last nasty breath. Dreamers dream. And dummies get cold.

YOU GOUDA BE KIDDING Do you know what Pinconning has a lot of?  Cheese cheese and more cheese. We managed to hit three of the four outlets and surprise...they all had cheese! Every persuasion and flavor combination one could imagine and some combos, that just made you scratch your head. You know like anchovy, truffles and red wine Pinconning which would be very expensive but taste like so much luxurious crap. Also amusing was finding Pam's Pantry dip mixes advertised as "Made exclusively in Grand Ledge Michigan"! And one store had a Bergdorf's wine display that probably had more bottles than the actual distributor in Williamston. I almost got the tee-shirt stating "I cut the cheese in Pinconning" but I suppose most would not get the joke that Pinconning is the cheese capital of Michigan, as stated on a sign coming into town. I was also able to snag a jar of Bacon Jam that I gifted my bacon loving son-in-law. 

POLY-TICKS Is anyone else freaked out by the creepy Perry for gov commercials with his insane googly eyes and slicked down toupee staring into the camera from six inches away promising to be a baby trump? Read the room brother. I'm all for giving everyone a chance, but there seem to be more dementia patients running for office than usual. They are really hurting the reputation of legitimately challenged folks. 

Telling the truth for once, marmie indicated that "intelligence played no role in his decision, based on a feeling, to invade Iran." This was after his stellar and questionable patriot tu-tu grabber admitted on record that her intelligence briefings to the boss did not indicate any imminent threat. You know since we destroyed all their nuclear capability last June? Just looks a bunch of cosplaying by the powers that be with our military and real people dying for no particular reason while the world reels due to oil shortages.

DRIVING DOWN When you keep cars forever you have to pay the piper now and then. My old Impala is now sporting brand new feet (tires) and shapewear (shocks and struts). We immediately tested it by driving I75 to Bay City and beyond where the roads rival the worst Lansing has to offer. 75 around Flint is also a pothole looking for a road. The auto shop said the car should drive like a dream. The first road trip was more of a nightmare. And fun fact, Bay City supplements its coffers by charging to drive over one of its bridges. Since you are surrounded by water it can be pretty lucrative. And to make it even more convenient, it's all handled electronically with an invoice mailed to your home. Like the proverbial small town speed trap, out-of-towners pay $5.50 a trip (each way!). The locals know how to dodge it, but when caught pay about $2. Hopefully they will apply the windfall to their roads. 

ROLLING ON JP bowled his first tournie. Though he didn't burn up the lanes he ended up beating his average most of the nine games. Though I rather think hanging with his teammates as they went swimming, roaming the halls of the hotel and eating hot dogs at a lakeside cook-out were more of an appeal. But he did agree to join a summer league. His teammates' father coaches bowling at a local high school, so we get the benefit of his guidance as well as Grandpa's weekly coaching sessions. Long afternoon sent me for popcorn a couple of times garnering the life story of the snack lounge proprietor. I don't know how I always end up hearing about occupations and "hazards" they have experienced. This dude was an ex-lumberjack and had the injuries to prove it. It is so ironic that they talk about their injuries at the same time they complain about the safety equipment. That was my career. Hollering down a well of defiant accident victims ready to prove me right. 

Six Big10's in the Sweet Sixteen! Peace out/Stay strong/Love your neighbor/Eat more cake.  💚 💙💛

                                                                                                                

BEWARE OF EVERYTHING (March 15/149 or not)

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH   Though some may want to avoid us regardless of the date. We just like to celebrate the number 15 and March is the bonus month. To steal from another poster "it's not about just the stabbing; it's about coming together to stab in groups". And to mangle another cliche the picture reminds us about the superiority of the pen to the sword... Apparently, as the FCC Chair is threatening licenses if the news doesn't start telling "Mary had a Little Lamb" stories about the Iran debacle. You would think someone in the Circus would have told the chief clown that the Strait of Hormuz was a bottleneck controlled by Iran. Also, that religious types will fight to the death-theirs and yours. 

                                 

ALLEGRA BOTTLE FRUSTRATION When I was at MSU in 1970 they introduced a new major, i.e, "Packaging". We may now curse that day as well as we struggle tearing nails and skin trying to liberate our vital items from their cursed protective bubbles, plastic, cardboard, staples and glue. I think one of our friends parlayed that major into a job at Proctor and Gamble so at least there is a face/identity available to focus our ire.  

RANDOM FACT If you have ever pondered, or even noticed, the lone orange cone behind utility trucks it is not to stop a rear-end collision. Especially since we all know -hands in the air if guilty-how feeble and fragile those babies are when we nail one. It is to force the driver to walk around their truck to assure no vehicle, stray animal, ball or small person has taken up residence back there before backing up.  This fascinating conversation took place as we noticed our cable guy diligently placing said orange guardian behind his van. For those keeping count, this is the second incident of the cable taking a crap. First time was Super Bowl weekend-thanks Xfinity-though they did come out and give us a new box before the game. We are terribly untechie outside of unplugging and plugging the cable but it usually takes me at least an hour to convince the online robot and robotic technicians to understand I need live boots on the ground assistance. 

After a couple of weeks, the cable again took the proverbial crap. This frustration took two hours to convince the invisible people I needed help. However, not a total waste as they were able to push their latest toys and upgrades. Apparently, they work on commission. Verdict on latest outage, wait for it... bad box!! Little known fact about the cable dudes and dudettes. They will adjust any mechanical issue you have with your televisions or remotes if you're nice to them. Suddenly we have clear HD, no weird messages showing up when we turn it on and remotes that actually control the sound (issues on separate televisions). And they don't give you that old person stink eye denoting how incapable we are, to them, to handle simple issues. 

Cable dude asked if we minded not being able to see the time on the box (we were wrong) and installed this itsy bitsy, teeny weeny wireless box about 6"x 6" that can do everything the big boys do discreetly. However, we do miss glancing up to see the time. Funny how you get used to doing things without noticing. Mr. Grandfather only chimes on the quarter hour, so not helpful. Since I take my one piece of chocolate for the day (usually) at 8 pm I like to know how close I am to snack time. Not to mention when you watch everything on DVR you really have no idea of time passing as you skim through the boring parts like commercials. Yes, we are probably the only people in the known world who do not use streaming services-we're ok with network-sue me.

Ok. Something is wrong with my plug-in and I'm going to lose power so I will have to end this.

Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor/Eat More Cake  💚  💙💛

LIKE A LION OR A LAMB? (March 9/150 or not)

DOOR GYPSIES I'm all for other-abled or workers' comp folks staying gainfully employed, but have you ever interacted with the Meijer greeters? Pre-requisites include ability to say "welcome" and "have a good day" ad nauseum with the proper amount of enthusiasm and delight for each customer. As they are also stationed at the door, being able to withstand cold and hot blasts from nature as necessary. Ability to overlook rude, cranky and small children without rancor. The ones at our store appear to be possibly of a religious persuasion based upon the number wearing head coverings, or maybe that's the environment. Ability to jockey a wheelchair effectively a plus, though often I see the chair empty denoting a possible miracle or bathroom break sans (without) chair. 

Perhaps they are there for another reason-security perhaps? I had hit the pharmacy and then realized I needed to shop a bit necessitating a basket. As the baskets/carts are in front of the "greeter-secret police" wheelchair gypsies I wondered if I would be called out about my unpaid items in paw. I made eye contact-bad/good idea with the gestapo. "You looking at me" or "What, you afraid to look at me" dilemma. No one cared. So again, not sure their ultimate purpose as I don't see the point of someone interrupting my get-in-get-out with minimum fuss philosophy. 

MEMORY Catching a news story about new and improved heart attack treatment techniques at a local hospital took me back to my first aid training days. Apparently, in CPR we don't emphasize breathing support as much anymore on a pulseless victim, just chest compressions.  It seems easier to get folks to do something, and chest compressions are easier to administer (not really) unless it's a drowning, drug overdose or an infant. We used to practice pole top rescue. Yes, just what you'd think-someone getting zapped with 17.6k on a utility pole. After cutting the circuit we would hang a "live volunteer" from his gear, and the second line worker would spike on up and administer a precordial thump! A smart smack to the middle of the chest. One, most electrocutions stop the heart cold (best kind if you have to have a heart stoppage) and a quick hard thump "may" bring it back. Second, kind of hard to do CPR hanging from harnesses on a pole. Consider my horror watching the action using live people. I suggested to management we buy a CPR dummy. As usual I took the fun out of the activity and seniors no longer got to torment the fresh meat. So next time you have a beef with the utility company who suddenly killed the juice during your latest Minecraft adventure contemplate that your neighborhood worker might be experiencing a really bad day.

CONTRACTION DISTRACTION The "old man" (founder and owner of our original roofer) showed up to review the dueling opinions on the roof. He didn't trash anyone...much...but he did say we need some work done. What was surprising is he believed what they put up originally should have survived as long as the rest of the roof as he tends to use materials of a better grade. Watching the 70+ dude cavorting on my roof like a mountain goat and bending over to take pictures almost stopped my heart. At any rate, some work needs to be done, and he will try to make it as painless, economically, as possible as he believes its only right. How refreshing. Meanwhile the "other" roofer who mysteriously found multiple problems (not) have not billed me for putting the extra board up which started the whole mess to begin with so we shall see. 

Teaching FA/CPR classes at the Red Cross for out-of-state construction workers were always an adventure. It is a MIOSHA rule that someone on the crew had to know FA/CPR. Classes were mostly attended by gentlemen who did not want to be there, and their grumpy comments were eye-opening to say the least. Poor Resuci-Anne was much abused in practice, or these guys had been away from home too long. Thank goodness she was not equipped with auditory abilities. At least it took the heat off as they were always polite to me which makes sense as I was the one giving them the pass/fail grade.

WHILE THEY STILL HAVE IT On a positive note, my IRS refund came back in four days proving I didn't mess up too badly with my software program. Of course, they have seven years to "gotcha" or change the rules but since they fired most of the staff I don't imagine most of us have to worry for a while. Though considering this obscene war begun by marmie because "he had a feeling" is sucking us dry in casualties, and expense, I would recommend you get your forms in early. 

THE PURGE BEGINS?? Borrowing from my favorite columnist Celia, "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" Justice for Cricket. One down and many, many more to go. Killing people and spending too much money, hanking and panking with the staff and screwing up the entire department was fine. But when she tried to blame the bosss... well that is one red line you do not cross. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT An early shout-out to my big sis who is celebrating her latest trip around the sun on the 9th. We've known each other forrreevver obviously. She always did everything first, but by the time my older brother and she aggravated my parents enough I got away with everything - LOL. One time I beat her, as I was one of those desperate to drive, was when I got my license first at 16. Which of course prompted her to get hers at the ripe old age of 17? 

Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor/Have some Cake  💚   💙💛

SNOW BEGONE (March 1/151 or not)

RINGING IN MY EARS  Is it just me or does everyone struggle with contractors not calling you back or neglecting to call back after an initial visit with promise of a bid? One dude called back after eight months with a bid and was pissed I already moved on. Right, 8 months for a bid would probably mean a visqueened roof masquerading as adequate cover for six months until they managed to get the roof reshingled. Call me impatient. 

Companies advertise like crazy, inundate you with offers to work for you on Facebook, then crickets. What is the issue? Are they waiting for the jobs costing ten grand or more? Though not every job is 1000s and 1000s of dollars, but maybe think future work? Being recommended to others? Avoid being badmouthed by not responding or keeping commitments? What am I missing here? All that to introduce my phoning and emailing several contractors last week hoping for a "human" response to get a couple of jobs done.

 "Heard the contractor went out to get some hinges and never came back" is no joke. 

Update: I now have dueling roofers claiming problems from the other one's previous work. They know each other, so should be interesting. All I know is it will probably cost me a bundle before it gets sorted out. So much for warranties. I even contacted someone I've done business with before at MIOSHA who was pouty, I didn't call them for the original roof. So tried them first-crickets. Wait until I see those boys again. 

Secondly, trying to find a landscaper for, what could be an expensive project, who is willing to talk to new customers. Is it something in the water? I now have an appointment with my original referral, but it is challenging to get call backs. My trusting a familiar landscaper's name last year led to a crap job as the name is apparently just passed around among the relatives who cut their teeth with them and then went out on their own. I chose wrong. My biggest project and future headache is a bathroom remodel, where "Holmes on Homes" says you should get about three bids (they actually read and respond to emails) where I fear I will not even be able to get one bid. Their suggestion was to work with an interior designer who probably has contacts in the construction arena. More expensive, but more oversight I am guessing, but sound advice. Money to spend but nobody wants to play, I guess. 

"Why did the contractor bring a ladder to the job? Heard drinks were on the house"

MOST EVERYTHING WORKS Medical update. Seven weeks post-op and things seem good. Jumping up at will and hoofing it up the stairs with ease. I still can't play the violin, however. I caught my first cold in years so dragging a bit. I am happy to give a shout-out for Nyquil my nighttime sleep agent though. One ear has pretty much shut down so the TV volume games commence. A lot of "what" or "I just said that" ensues. 

NUMBER 8 Apparently this is the 7th or 8th time marmie has decided to deploy his toy soldiers. This time however some of our own are already dead not to mention civilians. This after earlier last week saying we "obliterated" Iran's nuclear program and four days later claiming Iran was days away from a nuclear device. But what do you expect when you're being advised by real estate diplomats running negotiations, a drunk with a god complex and the "chief" with dementia. God help us.

WEATHER OR NOT?  Starting to get whiplash as ole Mother Nature keeps swishing her skirts and changing her mind-spring or winter? Good day, good day, bad, good, meh. Snow, rain, sleet, frogs and flying pumpernickel predicted for this week. Robins all over the frozen ground. Keep your hard hats handy and sense of humor close to hand. 

                                                       

RIP Unfortunately, just found out a friend of mine from the conference passed away last weekend. We would always be the ones who would make snarky comments quietly or eyeroll when people got a little too clever, and we had enough seniority to get away with it. One must always call out the pretentious and bring things back down to earth. Meetings will be a lot more business-like and less fun in the future. It's hell getting older.  The younger ones are correctly and gratefully taking the reins, but they're just so dang serious. Peace out/stay strong/love your neighbor 💚  💙💛

TIRED OF WINNING YET? (February 22/152 or not)

EVER WONDER where the worst place is to find a handicap parking spot? Outside an orthopedic surgeon's office. (even the doc thought that was funny). As I merely use the sticker to get a nifty parking spot, it is annoying when the truly needy hog the spots. Ok, ok, if I fall, I'm toast so I take Kenny cane with me which looks pathetic. I have more trouble getting it in and out of the car with it and the grandson likes to waft it around like a sword much to my dismay and amusement. 

DEMENTIA IS NOW COOL Can't help it even as democracy is crumbling there were a few light moments.

1)  After a massive meltdown on Bad Bunny performing at the Super Bowl marmie hosted a massive Latin themed party at mar-i-goldie two days later with Latin entertainers-whaa?  Of course, tickets        (supposedly for Hispanic literacy programs) went from 15,000 to 250,000. Would that not indicate immigrants learning "ingles"? I'm confused. Also, considering their reputation of reneging on charity dealies one wonders if the money has disappeared down the trump empire rabbit hole. Are you listening Hispanic voters?

2) Trump family claiming trademark rights on any airports (for now) named after their fearful leader. Oh yes, they claim they will never charge-can I sell you a new bridge in Detroit?

3) The irony of the so-called "broad of pieces" made up of countries half of whom marmie does not allow into our country. And oddly enough, no Palestinian representation with the jelly man named chair for life. Was he afraid he'd be on unemployment after his latest gig? What am I missing here 😏?

NEW SHOWS Recording my last poddie tomorrow before the conference where I will attempt some live interviews. Hopefully not repeating last year's performance where I discussed employer drug liability with two attorneys for 30 minutes but forgot to hit record. Oops. Thank goodness they weren't charging me. 

"You know that feeling when someone tries to give you advice, but their birth years starts with 2?"

Well, that may not be far off. Sat through a meeting Wednesday where I agreed to talk to our executive director about something that totally escapes me now. Like I say dementia is cool. I think it had to do with the podcasts and some new software or app, but not sure. I wrote the person who ran the meeting if she can enlighten me, though actually she was probably born before 2000, thank goodness.  

Had the grandson overnight and took him bowling. He went through six games and was still feeling pretty good-decent scores too. We are working on new ball number three now. Conversations with him are fascinating and he is really a deep thinker. We have been discussing communism-friend or foe- and he has some interesting thoughts. He believes if all things were equal and people were fair-minded it is only fair that everyone has a piece of the good life. I do not disagree. I pointed out the inevitable trap of someone contributing more and others taking advantage is the problem, but all humans deserve a decent standard of living. I appreciate his empathy for people and his questioning what he has been taught in school. He's got a real rah-rah America first social studies teacher, and he likes to run what gets said by his Dad and me. We kind of agreed that a powerful country can afford to be benevolent and help raise others. 

I'll take it. USA took gold in both men and women's hockey!! (Suppose rumple thin skin will demand their medals?) Michigan State managed to hang on to their lead today. TSA said they were suspending pre-check, then rescinded it. 😂 I got my GS cookies in the freezer. The new snow is melting. Steak for dinner and no tylenol today. That is all. 

                           

Peace out/Stay strong/Love your neighbor....💚  💙💛

OVERLOAD (February 15/153 or not)

GROUNDHOG BE DAMNED! Michigan's first fake Spring has arrived, and we are dumping the Stormy Kromer hats and snow boots for shorts and flip-flops for a few days. As the mornings are still crispy, I am sticking to a leather jacket to cover my bases. The snow snerts stuck on the bottoms of cars are crashing to the ground for other cars to re-crush; car washes are overflowing (pun intended); sunglasses in full view. The kids are in sweatshirts in 20 degree mornings, but then they always are. Looked like fistfights were going to manifest as the pre-paid vs the just-stopping-in cars vied to be first through the car wash barrier. Who knows? I may have received an upgraded wash as determined folks cut the other line off. I keep hoping that happens at McD's but they seem to have the quadruple lines under control. Then again, what upgrade could I hope to get at a McD's notwithstanding their Shamrock shake. 

UPDATE Tried to go "cold turkey" on the Tylenol today but couldn't make it past noon. Not bad, just annoyingly restrictive for someone who leaps to her feet and takes a lot of stairs. Just taking two pills a day but feels like failure. It is also my multiple trips downstairs to do laundry, so probably not a good day to try floating on strong will and guts. Doc scheduled a second recheck for Tuesday I had not anticipated, so don't know if that is good or bad. Normally he doesn't do the 2nd recheck for three months. A little swollen, but the scar is pretty well healed. I may need a new nickname however between my multiple markings on shoulder, breast, abdomen (from age 5), knee and hip. A life well-lived one might say. Not to mention my own baby tattoo on my right hip. Emphasis on "baby-sized". Those tramp stamps are going to look mighty bizarre on the elderly-lol. 

SAVE us from them. If the repub agenda is so good and popular, why do they keep trying to find ways to rig the elections and they think the other side is crooked? I believe the actual number of fake voters is .0000000001 after checking multiple sources. My birthplace, Detroit, has had a week with marmie trying to stop us from using the new bridge that Canada paid for, and we agreed to 10 years ago. Of course, that came after an 11th hour meeting with the morons (Mourouns) owners of that "other" bridge who have been fighting this since day One. Fortunately, our fearless leader is quite open to bribery. Though it appears the Michigan repubs may have grown a little spiney on this one.  Second, I can't wait to see beautiful downtown Detroit shrouded in its gown of gray like the 50's as they roll back the last of the environmental laws. 

Our fellow humans never fail to lower to the occasion. Upon visiting and seeing the horrendous conditions in an ICE facility -60 people crammed in one room with one toilet the 1st comment was congressmen have no right to enter a federal detention center. Yes, actually they do, but that was the very first comment-what have we become? There is a reckoning awaiting many of these quisling-patriots. 

GOODIE TIMES The unholy trinity has occurred this week-the clash of Valentine's, Paczki, and Girl Scout cookies all vied for equal billing. Sugar overload on tap. Since I have disavowed the sweet call of sugar most of the time, I am literally dying here. Thin mints will end up in the freezer to be enjoyed over the course of a year. Paczkis have to be devoured immediately for the maximum "Fat Tuesday" tradition" of using up all your good stuff (lard) before Lent. I only eat the middle anyway as I hate the wasted donuty part. Straight candy is strictly regulated unless I crave a wine exchange. Being healthy is a drag. Peace out/stay strong/love your neighbor 💚  💙💛

THE OTHER SIDE OF ICE (February 9/154)

PROGRESS REPORT Ok after 4 weeks post-op I am now navigating stairs as they were always meant to be. One leg at a time each bending and taking the load - ouch ouch ouch. Amazing how quickly your muscles atrophy if you do not force them to work. I tossed the cane and am climbing like a human and I feel like I need to go back to crawling. In honor of black history month-we shall overcome. Though I am a lot quicker making my seven trips to the basement doing laundry. 

First solo trip. Now I understand why disabled people bitch so much. Yes, there were handicapped spaces, and they were plowed-just not enough. Did not realize a few inches make a difference when you're trying to maneuver your Kenny Cane out the door before you disembark (as I promised the doc I would always use the cane when I'm out of the house). Might not look like much to the "normals", but every piece of ice or snow is a gaping maw waiting to trip me onto my precious new hip socket. Sigh. Just parked in a nearby space that was ice-free. 

BORDER CLASHES Have to say it. Our repub officials keep saying if we just obey the laws, no problem with ICE. No, the truth, thank God for phone cameras and internet, is they are illegally detaining, breaking into cars and houses, throwing people on the ground, handcuffing them and sending them to faraway detention centers with the inability to contact anyone, no due process or legal warrants based on the COLOR OF THEIR SKIN! If Jesus were alive today, some ass--t would say if he only obeyed the law as you notice the cross prominently displayed behind him. There is still right and wrong and treating people/human beings like garbage is something to get mad about. May we never stop calling it out.

News flash. After riding with the po-po, believe me they know exactly who the real criminal illegals are, just ask them. Heck, they'll even happily assist in their removal. When I rode, we actually stopped and "gently" harassed some known problem folks just to let them know we knew where they were.  However, the popsicles find it easier to round up black/brown people who won't shoot back. Word is your border boss (ho ho man) now wants you to return your $50,000 signing bonus to him in a plain paper bag. You know the bonus you have to work five years to even have a hope of receiving? Meanwhile enjoy your constant overtime, low morale and general feeling that "nobody likes me". 

MIOSHA NEWS  MIOSHA reported the year's first work-related fatality. A man was killed when he was trapped between the carriage and cab of a truck. As an ex-safety skate, I never want to be proven right. I recall many moons ago when I cautioned a seasoned, grizzled employee not to walk between the bucket and the cab on a small excavator. Of course, I was pooed-pooed as overly uptight about a 2 second shortcut-sigh. It's in our DNA.

Okay, now I have to hassle around, unplug, plug, jiggle things as the TV reception took a proverbial timeout on Olympic/ Super Bowl day. Could the timing be any better? This is the second time so need to get the Xfin techs in here who are not available until tomorrow. Maybe we'll get lucky. But speaking about the Olympics, I'm one of those crazies that watches the whole opening and closing ceremonies-   3 1/2 hours this time. I even love the whole Parade of Nations even the small countries-one athlete, seventeen coaches and keepers. The joy on those young (and not so-young) faces who spent a lifetime in early morning, late evening practice sessions working on their craft. Their utter amazement that they are in this moment of time walking in a stadium to represent their country. It never gets old. Except for Mariah Carey of course. Love the figure skating and downhill skiing where we got our first medal but sorry Lindsey.

Even enjoyed watching little old "sold my soul" jd get booed when they flashed a picture of him-sorry Usha. Our athletes were cheered, the government, not so much. Oh yeah, they didn't let us hear it, but we have our ways-the internet don't you know. Peace out/Stay strong/Love your neighbor 💖  💙

                                                                     

  

ONWARD AND UPWARDS (February 2/155)

BONE NEWS I believe I am improving and sleeping better though I am finding 10,000 steps may be going a tad too far. Also realized I step out on my left foot first no matter how much I try not to. That's the surgery leg and often after sitting one does not know if that first step is a good idea or not. Certainly, strong enough, just not pain-free. I read there should be a miraculous decrease in pain and less Tylenol needed after four weeks so we shall see. Still better than knee replacement though. I asked the OH how old one has to be before you feel like a bum wanting a nap during the day. He said 76 (his age of course). 

TROUBLING MIDNIGHT THOUGHT I pondered another reason that vaccinations are being rolled back. Who is most impacted? The poor and uninsured. It becomes eviler and more insidious when you look at it through that particular lens. Especially when the magots extol the virtue of the VP's 4th child as the perfect family dynamic. Obviously, these folks cannot equate fully paid government insurance and other financial perks making it feasible when many people can't afford one child. 

RANDOM THOUGHTS The older you get (or more retired) the more you look out your windows. It is our solemn duty to monitor the neighborhood activities. Which is also why, though they may be a great construction company, I would not want a truck emblazoned with the company name ROACH sitting in my driveway. Some things are better left private. Rotor rooter is another, but we all have been there, right? Anyway, the empty house across the street (10 years or more) had a massive AMAZON dump on their front porch this weekend. I enlisted another neighbor to pop over there and see if they were delivered to the wrong house. Nope, definitely has the name of the "now deceased" homeowner on the packages. Mystery deepens as our Agatha Christy group continues to monitor. The former occupant left for the UP with daughter's family years ago and have never done anything with the house since, even during the massive housing mark-up craze. To add to the mystery, the whole family has been indicted up there, so we wonder if they're hiding evidence or something worse in Amazon boxes. See how this snooping/spying gets out of control?

And how can they advertise permanent marker remover. Does not the name imply its inability to be erased? If so, what other myths have we been innocently believing? That the melon-eater documentary launched this week is the highest grossing documentary ever? As I understand it, as there is no reference to her early Epstein-building years, how accurate can it be? To quote the gal, I don't care, do you? I assume her husband will fire the academy award panel so he can collect more trophies... Meanwhile the doco-crazy was funded by Amazon to secure their "tax break" to the tune of 40 million plus 35 mill for advertising. Humorously, the doco hits the same week amazon laid off another 16,000 amazon workers. As my s-i-l points out at some point they're going to realize AI workers "don't buy no stuff". 

As staying/sitting in one spot is tiring this week, I may not be as rambunctiously verbose as usual. Just getting through my emails takes an hour. Then it's up for a walkie followed by icing. I could just go out and lay in the snow I suppose. I broke the rules and trotted up and down the basement stairs (well trotting is a strong word) to do laundry. More like Kenny Cane and I gingerly making our way up and down with a death grip on the handrail. 

As we await the mighty ground hog's prediction of a six more horrendous weeks of winter or a mere month and a half...I'm thinking I should get one in every hue to match my outfit or my mood as its now a part of my day to day. Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor 💚    💙💛

                                       

AND SO IT GOES (January 26/156)

BONY UPDATE Recon on recovery. Done with OT/PT. Only thing the doc said I couldn't do was, and I quote, "fall down". We all live in fear of that I can tell you. Got the old walker out and using Kenny Cane anywhere not in the house. In my final physical analysis, physical therapist had me go through my paces like a Kentuck Derby show horse.  Sock-blue-bed must have been my trumpian cognitive test. I of course added man, woman, television, camera, hockey puck, armadillo and coin toss. Then we moved onto the Olympic portion of the review. How many times can you sit-stand in 30 seconds. As it got sillier, I started waving my arms and doing dance steps every time I stood up. She said I tied the record for most sit-stands. If she had given me a number, I would have buried it, so that was most unfair. She mentioned she had a 94-year-old who nailed the test, less reps than me, but impressive. I'm averaging 3 to 5 miles and paying for it by the end of the day when I question the ability to stand on the injured leg and my mental ability to determine when enough is enough.

Taking out the stitches was fun, though I didn't complain until the nurse had left shutting the door which allowed me to go "ouch, ouch, ouch" in private. I have a skin fold that looks so much like a sewing boo boo where the material got caught up in the stitch. Apparently, that is not uncommon, and the remedy is to keep rubbing and squeezing the bumpy area until it pops. Again, "ouch, ouch, ouch". Doc showed me how my hip is ...."not like the others" as I am a small thing in certain areas and they had to really finagle (technical term) to get the big fat artificial hip joint to fit. As they "cemented" it in should hold. I am up to 2 hours of sleep at a time, so improvement. 

REBELLION UPDATE A dilemma for many of us I imagine. A very good friend of mine of more than 20 years wants to know why we can't seem to find a date to set up a lunch or breakfast meet. I don't want to explode if she still thinks marmie is not so bad, we need to give him a chance or victim blame those who are being killed.  Not sure she will, just don't want to find out. As the administration lays siege to Minneapolis (there is no other word for it) why aren't they rounding up illegals in Florida and Texas where illegals number in the millions not 130,000 like Minnesota. Oh yeah, it's not about immigration. And since he can't get his own by merit, the dick is happy to receive someone else's Nobel prize. Though if senility had an award I think he's nailed it.

Also, as a dictator wanna be he's been busy destroying the 60-year NATO alliance and stealing other country's oil just because. Though in retrospect, Europe is becoming stronger because of his demands and insults. Then as the UN embarrassed him (he did it to himself) he's setting up his own little UN over Gaza. Other members are also-ran, non-dominant countries but not the ones he's trying to "help" (Palestine & Israel). So, who's pocketing the billion-dollar entry fee? 

Fun Facts we have to search for: the 50,000-dollar bonus and student loan forgiveness for new ICEYS is only good after 5 years of service to DHS. Gosh in 2031 rumple will be gone and they'll be in jail. Bleak comfort. Thank God for camera phones and the internet. Meanwhile some slashed funding is being quietly restored where we have won in court; DOGE really did not save the federal government any money (though what we have we're spending it on vanity projects); and a teenage Doge employee has sold our social security information. Who would have thought that was coming (answer-all of us). 

AFTER GLOW I keep getting reminders about refilling my heavy-duty scripts prescribed after surgery. Then I get a long letter from my prescription company warning me about the dangers of opium addiction, etc etc.  They're the ones sending me refills that I didn't ask for plus I am not using them anyway. I don't think I can get hooked on Tylenol, but at the end of the day when I'm trying to sleep, I wonder. Thank goodness I'm not pregnant right? Wonder if our Health Chief can get his drugs for free now? 

The weather has been brutal snow and cold for two weeks now making me paranoid to step outside my comfort zone. Ice is under every nook and cranny just waiting to pounce on my fragile newly minted hip. If I'm going down, I'm taking somebody with me, hopefully someone with mass for a soft landing. We are finding ingenious ways to drop me at the door though. As I've said before, a lot of handicapped folks are easily getting through their day as most of the spots are already taken when you're looking. Positioning was helpful though when we left Meijers and my Impala's 10-year battery gave up the ghost. There was plenty of room in front of us to get a jump. But the OH was scout-prepared and had a portable jump charger in the back seat.  Couple of minutes later we were humming...on the way to the auto shop for a new one. So, my first trip out was interesting, and expensive. Now if it would just stop snowing and blowing and freezing...Peace out/Stay strong/Never forget/Never forgive. 💔💔💔

                                        

OH 'DEM BONES (January 19/157)

 

I'd like to start with a public service announcement. If you have any left-over, useless trophies cluttering up your house, please send them to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington D.C. Extra points if they are "gold" (fools or otherwise). There is a little boy there who just llovveess  participation trophies to cover the fact he was never loved. Dementia is just an added bonus, so anything works. 

Well 12 days post-surgery and the word of the day is OUCH. Every time I get a PT appointment, we find areas that were not sensitive before now frantically raising their phantom hands. Pick me, feel me, try to sit/stand/crawl without noticing me. On the other hand, all my PT/OT torturers call me a dream patient. I'm sorry I thought getting your butt up and moving was the point. I like to greet them at the door and they are surprised I am the patient. What do they usually look for? Someone with a walker or cane apparently. They tell me stories about patients who do not cooperate or are afraid they will break, like the one who didn't move for a month and a half and then blamed the doctor they're not healing.  Or the one who asked if she could light up and the PT person said "no!". They lit up anyway with a rum and coke at their elbow...at 11 am. Cracked me up. I didn't know we could drink during these appointments. Aren't those a no-no? Well yeah.  

Apparently, my surgeon keeps the hospital and rehab companies busy. I was one of SIX procedures he did that day. I think I was number 3. Everybody was cool except the creepy anesthesia boss who appeared irritated that I had allergies and cancer at one time. Apparently, it messed up his "usual" chemical cocktail for knock out time. Instead of bitching at me, look at the fricking chart, which he had to do eventually which also irritated him. However, his gaggle of employees were like the three stooges as they came in after he left to do the actual procedure. I mean stooges in a hilarious way, not incompetent. They actually acted as if they liked people and wanted me to have an easy and good time, or as much as you can, I guess. Continual patter of dumb jokes, me participating, as they kept searching for exactly the right spot in my spine for the first injection. 

A smaller woman was supporting me as I leaned forward for the spinal and we both mused on what would actually happen if I took a dive off the bed. We agreed I would not do that. My leg did some amazing gyrations and dance steps as they probed some interesting nerves in my back. Fortunately, they were the ones in the operating room, not Mr. Grumpy. As I'm wide awake, though numb, I asked if they were putting me out or not. (I believe I actually said please) Oh yes, first one little druggie goes in and then here's number two and you'll be in sleepy time (yes, he did) in two minutes oh ha ha. Of course, my next conscious thought was in a very busy recovery ward.  

People were coming and going, and the nurses were wearing track shoes and exhaustion. Though only serving soda crackers was a little off-putting. Which as I had nausea for 2-3 days, it was probably for the best. However, tradition dictates a large McD's chocolate shake on the ride home. I believe that baby was downed in less than five minutes. Sooo good. At any rate, my routine is walking, walking, walking, then icing, icing, icing. I do the dishes for therapy and the OH is on shopping, laundry duty and cooking, etc. etc. He attempted two homemade soups that turned out well. One friend dropped off some very spicy homemade broccoli cheddar, and another brought us chicken dinners from a community dinner. A third friend offered soup, but I asked if she could do a casserole instead to give the cook a break. Wow there was a lot going on in that casserole. If I hadn't already been back to "regular" so to speak that dinner put me on a "fast track" the next day. Cleanliness is next to healing I say. 

Two more home PT appointments, one sign-off from the nurse, recheck from the doctor and I'm on my own to make or break. Oops we don't use the "b" word. Infection and falls are the enemies. I've been managing a shower every day and hair wash every 2 or 3 so that feels normal. Putting on my pants, drawers, and socks are new skills to be developed but I am persevering. Working against me of course, are stubbornness and impatience, but we'll get there. (Remember Kathy? Mother please, I'd rather do it myself!) 

 I feel guilty not doing more but I am definitely enjoying the plethora of paperbacks my big sis gifted me with. Walking is the best therapy, and I have to do so every hour. I'm up to 2 miles (a day) in 500 steps increments. Nurse called me today to schedule her appointment and wanted to know if I was taking pain drugs. I said yes, Tylenol. This was after I told her I was achy today. Long silence. Sometimes silence speaks volumes. But as I said before I got "regular" within a few days so it's worth it. I "cane step" up and down the stairs, but I was instructed to use the walker if I go outside. Considering the crappy weather, I am happy to watch it from the window.

The doc gave the OH a really cool x-ray of my new "companion". I am becoming the bionic woman with knee and leg titanium bones. Apparently, the ball takes a while to set in the socket tightly, hence the tremendous fear of slipping, falling or generally jerking the joint for a couple of months. Apparently, sky diving, salsa and bungee jumping are off the table for a while.  However, bone shaped pretzels are perfectly acceptable and encouraged.  Peace out/stay strong/love your neighbor 💚  💙💛

                                                         

SLINKING INTO '26 (January 5/159)

 

CUT CUT FIZZ FIZZ Another fun week ahead. Try to keep marmie from attacking another country while I'm out please. I will be undergoing my 3rd meeting with the knife (or scalpel or laser cutter or can opener) since September 2023. Joints are failing faster than a pound of butter on a hot plate. As my insurance covers it, why not? I enjoy the recovery challenge. Working on getting the housework and laundry done before H-day (hip). OH is taking over the laundry again so we had a brief refresher course. Last time he had the duty after meticulously sorting colors and fabrics per my instructions, he said the heck with it and just threw everything in at once. Using two pods of detergent rather than one. Sigh. We may just move out to the lake for a while as everything is on one floor including laundry.  

DRIVING MS LAZY Visited the DMV (dept of motor vehicles) to get my handicap placard. OH could not wait to use it, but you would be surprised how those spaces fill up. I expect to see nothing but canes, walkers and go-carts in the stores eventually. Handicapped/smamiecapped-you cannot keep us from completing our appointed rounds. However, I just expect to be dropped off and picked up at entrances as the doc is afraid I'm going to fall and destroy all his lovely work since we scheduled this for January. Ice is your friend my post-op paperwork says, but I don't think they mean the kind that gives you an Ice Capades workout. May have to drag out, horrors, the tennis ball footed old person highchair walker. If that sucker had a seat on it, I would never need surgery. Or better yet, one of those canes that has a flip-out seat. This hilarity is from someone who walks 7 or 8 miles a day on her bum leg. 

Anyway, I was diverted by my own misguided cleverness. Being at the DMV I'm sure brings out memories for us all. The old days of long serpentine lines and surly employees. These days it's a pretty decent set-up IF, a pretty big if, you make an appointment. The only surly line I saw was in the foyer where people without an appointment were trying to access the one machine. I was reminded of my initial visit to take my driving test at 16. The final words of advice from my father who went with me was "thank goodness, I don't have to drive with you anymore". What an inspiring cheerleader. Needless to say, he drove home even though I passed the test.  

The daughter was just as eager to drive as her mom so we made arrangements on her 16th birthday to cement her new status. Excited and bubbly when they called her name, but alas-the computers were down, and they could not complete her paperwork. Her little face dropped 3 feet. Stupidly, I said let's try another SOS office. Like the problem with computers would miraculously bypass a different station. However, it all comes down to the people. The examiner asked if she had her temporary paperwork - but of course. We'll just attach the new form to the temp and your license will be in the mail in a week or so. From agony to ecstasy in an hour. It is an awesome feeling to please your offspring so perfectly. But then, Mom deflates when the newly licensed driver asks to take the car solo to see her boyfriend. Worst hour of my life I can tell you. However, she became such a good driver (though a little fast) that I let her take my beloved Riviera to Detroit with a couple of friends. Her little Dodge truck wasn't big enough for three ladies. They, and more importantly, the car came back unscathed. 

TALKING POINTS Well after much canoodling about it, I decided to re-record the opening paragraphs for my poddie airing next week. I had mispronounced the dude's name every time only in the intro I said something like "oh I did it again". No problem on doing the re-recording, but I had recently cut and colored my hair. But if anyone is that observant, more power to them. I did wear the same sweater, however. Anyway, the upshot of all that is "I mispronounced the name again!"  Geez. Peace out/Stay strong/love your neighbor💚  💙💛