CONTRACTOR FOLLIES (June 14/136 or not)

Not my original quote but too good not to pass on "You always know a toddler's birthday is coming up when you see the bounce house set up on the lawn". For all the adults who think they can handle the bounce house-think again...dementia and gladiator do not mix.                                                           

IF YOU SURVIVE THE STORMS Interesting week with Mother Nature taking care of my watering chores. Just enough rain in just the right spacing to cover my tender new garden children. I checked with our lawn care about his aerating service asking does it require a lot of watering? No, just 2 inches after they do the treatment then back to your usual 1 to 1 1/2 inches a week. Say wha? We have 3/4 quarters of an acre and a well, so we do not watere grass. (Except the new guys) What they get is what they get. So, the grass is brownish in some places but that's summer for you. Always looks nice in Fall and Spring so I'm good. We should all just let the lawns go natural.

 JP wanted to spend a couple days with us on the two hottest nights thus far. We had our room AC unit, but he had to gut it out in his room with two fans. He didn't even go upstairs the second night. Though he did sleep better on the couch.  We have central air, but when the house was built, they apparently took low bid on the HVAC expertise as the cold air registers were installed on the floors upstairs. You know the basics-hot air rises, cold air sinks which makes the floor very happy on a hot night. Normal inhabitants not so much. The dude that lived here originally was an engineer so you would have thought they covered that in class at some point. 

DOOR ME As I never have enough projects to juggle (always room for another chainsaw in the air) I thought I'd get some quotes on the lake house sliding doors. The gas between the panes has been blown since we bought the place and the screen door is hanging on by its proverbial fingers. I always thought the doors were shorter than normal, but that may have been a fig newton of my imagination. Anyway, the first contractor (a sweet young couple fastened at the hip) to pop at my ad, who would come on my schedule (like when we're out there) said no prob, standard door and really low amount to replace. However, they were not able to do anything until August. After five days I texted and said are you still interested as I did not receive the quote the same night as promised. Two days later I get the quote and its 700 dollars higher and no explanation besides - old door taken out, new door put in, cleanup and disposal. As I hate to wait and I've been ghosted by these laker handypeople before, I have already got two more companies coming to quote. So, I write the first one back and say can you give me a break-down of what your quote covers-cost of door, labor, etc. as I kind of thought I knew why it was higher, standard door my Aunt Fannie. Of course I have had nothing back yet.

Second dude shows up, hair coiffed and smelling strongly of after shave-maybe he thought he was meeting a merry widow as I only spring the OH on people when necessary. Amazing the snow jobs you get when unaccompanied. However, his house had been without power from the storm, and he was cutting a tree up in the front yard all morning so he might have thought he was a little funky from no shower. He gives me a quote even less than the first one. Hmmm.  Third dude shows up and gives a speech similar to Andersen window folks (half promo half expertise) and a price to match which is 5 or 6 times higher than the first two (even though the 1st two have not actually given a final quote). However, in our intentional chatting, getting to know you stuff he mentions they are booking out four months - which is actually a sign that the company is good and sought after. He also casually mentions that btw-those are not standard sized doors and custom costs two grand more. Finally, someone is actually knowledgeable or honest about the doors being shorter than standard as it's a modular home.

But bigger reveal as I say hell no on the cost, or words to that effect, he mentions a lot of people just get the glass fixed (I didn't know that was an option) and he could actually quote the glasswork and screen door for what these other two ?experts? were quoting for the whole job. Interesting n'est-ce pas? It would make sense to go with number 3 except....the quote he claims he sent as we stood there never showed up. Arrgghh. And I used to feel sorry for small businesses. 

FUSSY BIRDS I bought two new bird feeders-one for the hummers and one for the finches-of whom we had multitudes last year. Hummer floats in once in a while and doesn't stay long. Some large animal ate most of my finch food the first night, so I moved it and no one, including finches, have touched it since. Geez. I get feeders that are smaller and easier for me to clean and fill, and they turn their beaks up at them.

RANDOM THOUGHTS  1) If the Dems were that good at cheating, wouldn't they have picked the president and other pertinent posts? We were so clever, we even made 30 million stay home and not vote; and 2) At the lake Thursday night as the tornadoes were circling, we realized the only safe space we have is under the house where the water system is located. I told the OH considering that space is coffin-sized, only the thin will survive. We'll see how that goes in the future. Meanwhile, our aptly named CrocsAnn (JP's suggestion) says:                                                                                                Peace Out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake/Drive Efficiently/Salute a Vet 💚  💙💛

                                                                                 

P.S.  Bathroom remodel may finally be moving forward as cabinets are due to be completed by the 17, so work may start shortly thereafter (subdued yay). Guess I should order those drawer and cupboard handles that I completely forgot about post-haste

                                                                                               

HODGE PODGE (June 7/137 or not)

NEIGHBORHOOD WATCHERS We have been closely monitoring the happenings across the street. Hell, retired folks enjoy any change of routine-hence the binocs on the windowsill. Which reminds me, always be nice to the old fogies in the neighborhood. They are a better alarm system than your Doberman.  Two semi-truck sized trucks, one large trailer and two cars from across the street were loaded for the last time, we hope after 15 years of no activity. All headed north to Marquette at 5:00 pm. Hard to believe they were making that 5-6 hour trip in the wee hours though the bridge is less crowded at midnight I suppose. 

Equally fascinating is the roofing project over there. At this point it has been going on for ten days and no end in sight. On purpose? Or perhaps it's the geriatric roofers who tend to show up at about 9 and work until about 3 or so. Just guessing the age from the amount of snow of top of the two, sometimes three slow-moving workers. I know what it's like to slow down in the afternoon if I stop doing physical chores. After a couple days of power washing (mostly the OH, I just pitched when he needed a break) and painting at the lake and the usual Sunday housework, laundry, 8 to 9 miles of walking and my latest yoga session, I was done for the day at 3:30 myself. The fatal mistake is taking a break which then lasts well into the evening. At some point I will feel old enough not to feel guilty I suppose. As for the "mature" roofers I understand. I still believe I can climb the ladder to the roof, just not right now and that's ok. 

THE TRUTH So the judge says something like "So if he can bulldoze the Stature of Liberty before anyone files a suit he can get away with it. Is that your argument?" Which is pretty much what rumpiestilkin's lawyers admitted when they claimed the lawsuit filed against demolition of the east wing and rose garden and south lawn had no standing as it was already done. Like he needs any other stupid ideas. 

GARDEN KNOWNS As we water and burp the new landscaping, we are rewarded with budding roses and new grass growing in what can only be described as a typical male pattern baldness fashion. Little sprouts here and there in no particular order. My daily task is to ruthlessly pull any errant weeds that dare to sully my pristine mulch. Although the relentless chive forest is making some tentative forays into the backyard landscape. Some hiding under the prone drainpipe-crafty little buggers.  My lime marmalade (Heuchera) "lettuce" leaves are starting to grow into full heads. They looked so fragile but give them a little water and sun and a yellow explosion ensues. So red roses, pink salvia, merry little holly berries and my yellow limes are starting to look intentional. The backyard is finished with tomato plants thriving, deck washed and windchimes hung from the pergola with care. 

                                                                                            

                                                                

LATEST PODDIE I was able to get my July program recorded last week so all good. It was about violence in the workplace with a gentleman I have worked with for many years when at MIOSHA and the Safety Conference. He started this work in the '90's when the Dearborn Post Office massacre occurred and the phrase "going postal" was coined. We have all seen how that has escalated since then. I asked what the factors were, besides the shooter not getting the promotion he wanted. My brother worked there and mentioned the horrible working conditions and tone-deaf management. Management's M.O.  with Union complaints was to always escalate cases to arbitration which wiped out their budget pretty quickly-with no resolution but to give up. My brother was the "unknown" postal worker who was interviewed by the local news about their tactics. My interviewee explained that automation was becoming a big part of the USPS at the time and as usual, management was not great on explaining the impact. 

ON TRACK As if I don't have enough nagging in my life I wear one of those tracker watches. Every hour it recommends I get my ass in gear and take 100 to a million steps. This is a good thing for my bionic hip and gets me away from the laptop. Actually, I'm doing pretty good as I have just come from the eye doctor and my pupils are the size of saucers at the moment. We go through this routine every year where the Doc humorously gives me a prescription and then kills it by saying, "if I could see that well without contacts, I wouldn't bother either." Nailed it! Or was it a cognitive test? Which begs the question would one know if they had dementia if they had dementia?

Anyway, I had a point in the last paragraph when I started. When I get those move your butt messages sometimes, I am not in a position to jump and run-like on a plane, in a meeting, on the commode. The watch is so dumb any left arm movement will do so I start waving my arm like a windmill, demented bird or a spouting fountain. It doesn't know my feet ain't dancing at the same time so it is satisfied and shuts up. Peace Out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake/Drive Efficiently/Salute a Vet 💚

 

IT'S MY PARTY (June 1/138 or not)

"Realized hostages are 2 big to replant. Any chance your boys could pick up and dump??"  Yes, I literally wrote that text. If Big Brother/Sister is monitoring my rebellious posts, that unintentional murder for hire plea probably got a "hey what?" I am actually talking about the below-damn autocorrect.

                                                              

SPRING FRENZY First it was the finch frenzy for food and then the people frenzy at the local gardening store on a Monday. Oceans of frantic gardeners grasping gargantuan green gaggles of grape tomato plants as well as other vegetable, fruit and flower variations in a steady stream. Memorial Day is the unofficial Michigan "maybe it won't freeze anymore and we can plant day". We thought we were safe on a weekday, but apparently everyone works from home with a variety of break times. 

Additionally, we "remodeled" the front forty so to speak so now I'm faithfully hosing down 30+ plants every morning. Nothing keeps you motivated like a huge landscaping bill. In a mad desire for clean lines I had them obliterate the chive forest growing over the back patio much to the OH's disappointment. But the ways these things propagate I am sure they will be back. Tomato plants are in for the 44th year in a row so he should be happy. It was amazing though how many inquiries we had for the massively overgrown hostas shown above. We learned how to divide them with an axe as these buggers' roots are tough. Should have done that years ago as they were too massive to replant. I will miss, not their massiveness take-over the garden persona, but the way they came back faithfully every year turning from tiny green shoots to full-blown plants in about two weeks. 

WASH DC RINSE, REPEAT Nothing says class like a giant cage rising above the white house on the south lawn so we can watch bare-chested fighters duke it out like slaves performing in the roman coliseum. Bread and circuses though we seem darn lacking in the bread, gas, cost of living arena. This is a shit show for one if you get my drift. Those who can't egg on those who will. This is the best we can do? Though it does kind of negate claims for that fancy "secure" billion-dollar ballroom if an open-air event can manage to keep marmie safe. Darn, I knew it wasn't about security.

Meanwhile...as Colbert used to say. While white house trashing continues and the great negotiator still hasn't got a deal from Iran, Putin and Xi are shaking hands, other departments of government are functioning on life support. Desperate measures are being sought to re-fund FEMA that got literally destroyed under what's her name as we enter hurricane season. Planes are crashing on a weekly basis, three plants have exploded, environmental fallout continues, a dearth of farm and factory workers is upending the economy, and the health department is looking for "volunteers" to help track and contain Ebola from incoming plane passengers. Just spit balling here but this is what happens when you eliminate qualified employees and scuttle regulations. But we got a cage match to look forward to and a lonnnngggg speech from he who would be king instead of real entertainment on our 250-birthday party. Yep, we be screwed. 

GIVE 'EM A BREAK The horrible accident that took the lives of two Michigan DOT makes me sad and angry. These folks are out there every day getting cursed at and dodging citizens who are upset about being inconvenienced. I had the same problem at the City and actually lost one in a car/street accident. Other near misses were only avoided by the "fleet of foot". Especially the pothole fillers. Move in and out in the breaks between cars to drop your asphalt and leap out of the way? My inspiration that they called impractical, was to create a square barricade that went around the workers attached to the truck that would move when they did. They said people won't notice until it's too late and the cars will just hit the barrier-ahh yeah exactly my thought....  At any rate, you know the drill.

Peace Out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake/Drive Efficiently/Salute a Vet 💚  💙💛

MEMORIAL TO DEMOCRACY (May 25/139 or not)

SIGNS OF THE TIMES As Spring careens into the (too short) summer so many things start popping up-flowers, shorts, sweat, dogs without coats, fairs, parades and FOR SALE signs. An inevitable rite of passage is the mobile population frantically taking advantage of the summer house buying frenzy. Not so great timing as interest rates are up their highest in 9 months. Oh well. The colorful signs, depending on your realtor of choice blend seamlessly with the greens, reds, yellows, pinks and whites of our abbreviated growing season. The multi-faceted plow patterns painted on the fields by the individual farmers and tractors of green and red. Truly a riot of color. And the frustration of the tractor's presence on those meandering country 2-laners. Honking does not help, so chill with some car seat yoga and enjoy the sights. 

ORANGE UPDATE Got to love marmie's everyday trashing of norms. On a no-bid contract basis (as required by any governmental unit) he's facing the typical contractor problems with the reflecting pool. You know how he said he knows a "swimming pool" contractor who will do it for 1.3 million which magically balloons into 13 million a week later. After accepting his "doing business" bribe the orange one goes with I don't know the guy. Us lower government worker types would be disciplined if we accepted a potato chip from a vendor, but that's just silly people following the rules.

And wouldn't it be marvelous when you're handed the top job that you can promote your personal attorney, who could not win your other trials as he was forced to hold bags of wet noodles for evidence, into a position where he can start making deals for you, on the taxpayer dime by suing yourself and winning with total civilian immunity. Wonderful. I hope his eventual disbarment and possible imprisonment is worth what he is reaping now. The hench people usually end up holding the bag on these things-so get a clue.

FEEDING THE FLOCK Trying to locate our "finch stick" as we've caught them trying to raid hummer's sugar water. They have zero chance of fitting their fat hungry beaks into the tiny little holes, but that doesn't stop them from trying. Though I only have one hummer, the finch stick supports several at the same time though some have to hang upside down. Between the cold weather and copious rain this holiday weekend our feeding stations are getting a workout with several tentative forays to check if we've filled everything. Although a woodpecker or cardinal will just bang on your window for service, not all birds are that rude.                                                        

JP SIGHTINGS Haven't seen the grandson as much last couple of weeks. Usually he calls Tuesday or Wednesday, but his schedule is getting busier.  He's been helping other Grandma and joining the guys on the weekends rebuilding her decks. He's maturing faster than any of us want to see, but it is inevitable. I promised him my 2007 convertible when he's 16 which is only two years away and hopefully it will still be able to flip its lid for him which is the cool factor. He's used to driving the ATVs, golf cart and, on occasion, his dad's giant Ford Explorer (though not far). As he was helping his dad clean up the pole barn the other day I watched him back the golf cart out of the way. He whipped that huge machine between Dad's motorcycle; the garbage can and angled it through the open door like a pro-definitely smoother than I would have. At any rate, he is going to be more than ready for Driver's Ed. His folks call him Pablo due to his very noticeable dark mustache, and he actually grew four inches in the last year so perhaps the height is finally catching up to the other maturity indicators. At any rate,

Peace Out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake/Drive Efficiently/Salute a Vet 💚  💙💛

TO WINE SO AS NOT TO WHINE (MAY 18/140 or not)

 NOTICED A SIGN:  In Case of Fire, please exit the building before posting it on social media. 

In case we didn't know, that's why there are so many warnings on everyday products like don't eat the varnish before applying; or don't try gorilla glue on your skin; laundry packets are not candy-close the damn lid; don't hold match too close to flammable objects, like your hair; do not mix an aerosol with a blowtorch, etc.  We can go with "there's one born every minute" or just believe someone somewhere has sued over something a normal logical person would not have even tried. Children come to mind and I guess child-like adults who think using a familiar object in an exciting novel way is a good idea. I mean who hasn't taken an item and thought "I wonder what would happen if I tried it on this" immediately followed by "crap, I wish I had the last five minutes back." There is a sense of wonder that accompanies that moment when something goes inexplicably, horrendously wrong as you watch the chaos ensue and the property damage and injury take hold. I swear I have investigated more than one incident like that. Which of course is followed with a new workplace rule basically stating, "let's not do that again bozos and bozees".

3RD STRIKE On a tight schedule already, there was a bit of consternation when my interviewee failed to appear onscreen as anticipated. We had missed connecting at the conference. She got sick at the 11th hour before our second attempt, so this was number 3. I 'm starting to think she doesn't like me. After chatting with the recording person for a few minutes, I tried a quick email. She magically appeared shortly thereafter. Apparently one or all of us forgot to factor in Central vs Eastern time. She was merrily waiting until 9:00 Central time even though her ZOOM invite clearly said Eastern time. Note to self-double reminders in different time zones. But she was a trooper and we got it done.

WINE ON Hosted one of our semi-annual wine parties which usually follow the twice-yearly shipments from my vineyard membership. The challenge was to enjoy...without over enjoying as, based on my previous paragraph, I had a 9:00 interview to conduct the next morning. But they were troopers as well and the rallying cry was "we are not quitters"; referencing my usual M.O. of finishing the bottle so there are no leftovers; leading to my inability to focus the next day. Consequently, in rescue mode the group managed to leave no bottle unemptied. Also, lots of food, lots of food with everyone contributing wonderful courses. I started hosting daytime wine parties as some of us are of a certain age and this way we can all tottle home in daylight. Daytime drinking is the new norm.

   

                                                                            

CRAZY WEEK  So party on Thursday with wine group, lake on Friday for dinner and cards with lake friends, then graduation open house in Grand Rapids on Saturday; state of collapse Saturday night. It's not the physical challenge but the mental logistics that poop (technical term) one out. We realized as we were leaving the open house that we were now the dreaded "old people" of grandparents, great aunts and uncles that grab a table and hang out and talk while the younger folks are working, partying and basically ignoring us. I hope we were a little more sensitive to the oldies, but I fear we probably were not. It was a combined party of 5 grads from the field hockey team and our grad had made all of the variety of 250 cupcakes! I can attest as to the exquisite flavor of the espresso one. Fortunately, step-grandma, my sister, snagged the table right next to the cupcake array. Who needs real food?

WARRING AI OR WHATEVER Does anyone else like to challenge their phone mapping abilities against the car's built-in mapping? Traveling from the lake to Aquinas College basically said go to M37-2 turns and you're there (phone suggestion). Using the car, who feels she is superior, needed to go to 31 get off at Wealthy-basically trundle through downtown GR and try to find the one building at Aquinas described in the address we were sent. Drops us right in front of the wrong building with a cheery "you've reached your destination"-umm no and no place to turn around. 

After some fumbling around the Eagle landed where we saw a bunch of cars parked so assumed we were close. Also saw our hosts quaffing beers surreptitiously as the venue does not support alcohol (Catholic Unie, and Catholics most certainly drink) On the way out I said we're taking the easy way to the Beltline (M-37). Like I said two turns. However, the car was not having it. We got the fatal -make a u-turn and then a right; make a-uturn and make an immediate right; make a u-turn and make a left; FOR GOD'S SAKE TURN AROUND OR WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! Or maybe I'm thinking of that Kenny Rogers song "Ruby". 

Peace out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake/Drive Efficiently  💚  💙💛

MOTHER (May 11/141 or not)

                                                            

As it's Mother's Day, and a busy week, I'm taking a break this week. Just a couple of random thoughts.

In the midst of all the reminders to 4-wheel drivers about watching out for motorcycles I had a 2-wheeler go by me and two other cars...on a 2-lane road...on a hill. Ain't nobody going to be able to prevent that very obvious lapse in judgement by the helmeted untouchable. Guess who sues who, if they survive. 

Looking forward to the latest wine soiree with our intrepid group of connoisseurs this week who, bless their hearts, do not listen to my vino description after the first bottle or two. Which is pretty much how I like it as the fate of the world depends on our using our valuable time to resolve the sticky issues of the day. Well as we are all of an age serious discussion usually follows our old people "organ recital". You know who's getting sliced next, who has had xyz procedure, what new meds are out there. We have to be pretty organized to get everything in when the group gets together as retired people have lives and limited time to socialize.

After 15 years of inactivity, the house across the street finally appears to be getting some love. Apparently, it has been sold and considering the price, there must be a truckload of issues to be resolved to make it livable. From the tip of its' crown to the cement pond by the river, I don't expect to see new neighbors anytime soon. However, another neighbor was expressing relief that someone is finally in charge of the property as a couple of doors down a third neighbor was creating a path along the river and behind this house to preserve Indian land. Yeah, I hear he drinks. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of man-usually the neighbors. 

After partying Thursday I have scheduled an early podcast recording on Friday. Hopefully, the hangover can be controlled by 9 am. Good thing I loosely script these things. 

So hale and hearty and love to various Mothers living and deceased. We love you all. And thanks to my own lovely daughter who spent the afternoon with us in an extremely enjoyable visit while "her men" were working on her m-i-l's deck. I will selfishly take the win. It's great to see the grandson helping out and schlepping tools and trailers, though I hope it was only a well-guarded miter I saw him running in the pictures. 

Peace Out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake/Drive Carefully    💚  💙💛

1st Hummer of 2026  

      

 

THE BIDET-BEAT GOES ON (May 3/142 or not)

                                                                                             

BEST QUOTE "You take really good care of your feet" the doctor said at my semi-annual checkup. No lauding of my 7 lb. weight loss, lower A1C and stellar triglyceride reading. Makes me wonder what visual deformities he has to witness when examining patient feet. I do think the bright red polish is a nice touch.  I'll take the win.  

REALLY? I could be wrong and too quick to jump to conclusions. We may never know if the attack on the President was real or orchestrated. What was real, is 95% of the people in that room did not know it was coming and then experienced a personal hell when they realized they may not live through the night. Did they wish they had said I love you to their families before leaving home? Did they wish they had noted their personal escape route? Also, we all know the drill. When police are confronted with knife or gun and a leaping assassin, they riddle him/her with bullets and ask questions later, yet nobody really fired?

Reporting on these tragedies is one thing, being one of the terror-stricken victims is on another plane altogether. The complacency that many feel that this is just the cost of living in America need to know what it feels like to be a victim. Meanwhile school children get "thoughts and prayers" and the President has a press conference to pitch he needs a golden ballroom. He's 79, he should have needed a timeout and diaper change. As one who has trained and been trained on these types of episodes, the victims are usually a tad more rattled. Perhaps, dementia is a blessing. 

BATHROOM UPDATE Much of the week was spent on picking out goodies for the bathroom make-over as we get her ready for her close-up. As the second bathroom vanity was literally hanging on by its hinges and the bottom (plywood) shelf was sagging to the floor we also had to make material decisions about that. You know you should never think the original estimate is the cost-think contingency, surprise issues and more expensive choices. Whatever savings I found going with a molded rather than tile shower I assume will be easily eaten up by our more expensive "what the hell" attitude to new fixtures. As I pointed out frequently, I only redecorate every 40-50 years so there's that. 

Our contractor suggested a trip to a particular stone company as they often have remnants that could fit our stone vanity vision and turn-around is one week compared to 3-4. However, amidst all their remnants (mostly white and gray) we could not find one that had the touch of green we are looking for to highlight the lily pad green of the cabinets. I stand corrected. I found an exquisite emerald with subtle gold/copper streaks that would make this bathroom jewel-like. They even used this quartz in their own showroom and like I said it's beautiful. However, here's the catch. As it's not a remnant, one must buy the entire slab which THEY GET TO KEEP AND SELL as a remnant after they take out what you need. That, of course, runs the price up 3-4 times. 

Consequently, I had settled on a piece instead, mostly white and gray sigh, with a hint of green on a good day if you squint and the sun is in the 7th house. I loved that emerald green, but oh well. At a different place where we ordered the cabinets, they had a supply of ho hum countertops which was another reason we went to the other place. After signing our lives away on my "lily pad" color cabinets we were on our way out the door when the OH spotted green quartz resembling the "stone that was rejected which became the corner stone" (biblical reference). No way. I pulled out my file folder (I folder every project) and compared. THIS WAS THE SAME DAMN QUARTZ which they quoted out at 1/3 the price of the other shop. Drop the mic, we're in.

I also had no idea how much fun it is to visit a contractor plumbing shop to pick out fixtures. Do you realize there are at least a half dozen different types of toilets, not counting the bidets. Our fixtures accent color is champagne gold -not brassy-not shiny, a subtle brushed gold compliment to the green countertop. Followed with the shower head choice in the same hue. They also had the exact type of medicine chest the OH wanted with built-in close-up mirror and we even found new lighting to match the whole ensemble. Aren't we fancy. Then for fun our "consultant" threw in towel rack, towel hook, toilet roll holder, stove and refrigerator all in the same color family. Ok I'm fibbing about the kitchen appliances. Couldn't find a toaster to match so the heck with that. We were in there for three hours and were not bored-go figure. 

Flooring also got chosen and we went with my usual dramatic look (like my kitchen floor). Surprised when we got the itemized invoice for the flooring. This is a small bathroom, but they are charging $229 alone for incoming freight and fuel surcharge! I don't know if this is normal as we have put floors in before and just had a total price. But I have a sneaking suspicion that this is the future folks. Thanks, marmie for all the extra we have to pay for your crazed attack that stopped 20% of all the oil moving throughout the world.

 JUST HORSING AROUND I usually pick the gray for the Kentucky Derby regardless of the odds. Mostly so I can follow the horse as gray stands out. I want to enjoy the most exciting two minutes in sports. However, "Great White" did not need to pitch his jockey and then clumsily fall down on himself. All the talk about him being the biggest horse in the race was not the advantage one would think. Horses are not used to falling down and going boom. If you don't want me to bet, you could be a little more subtle. The jockey didn't look so happy either, but at least he didn't get a ton of horse on top of him. 

BOWLED OVER Mom and Dad had a bowling party to kick off JP's birthday weekend. He had one friend and the rest of us were, shall we say, over 21. In some cases, WAYYY over 21. My team consisted of Nana, Grandpa, Grandma and Jaxiboy. First and foremost, I did not fall down, drop the ball or die. My knee, hip and back remained intact and there were no audible snaps or crackles from my bionic parts. As several of us had not bowled in eons, one alley ball was used by three people which slowed things up a bit. I had apparently given my old ball away, so I got there early and picked an alley ball that the OH doctored to fit. As one cannot expect a curving break with an alley ball and conventional grip, I tried to use angles with the straight shot that resulted. I didn't embarrass myself too much and the trash talk was kept to an acceptable level. I think JP spent his actual birthday day defying death on the ATVs he and his buddy were racing on the back forty so to speak. Teenagers carry the burden of an undeveloped sense of danger but fortunately they heal quickly. Love that boy!

  Peace Out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake/Drive Less 💚  💙💛

WHAT ME WORRY? (April 26/143 or not)

WE ALL SCREAM FOR!!!  Couldn't help myself. Those springy-summery couple of days forced my hand on ice cream. I have been very circumspect about no sugar, booze and snacking and then 77 degrees hits. Ummm. Hot dogs on the grill and a couple of scoops (small ones) of coconut almond ice cream. Argghh. One day of fun food means a two-pound shift on the old scale. Back to regimented diet before doctor appointment this week. However, all my blood tests showed improvements, so I guess eating right is actually a thing, darn. 

 Anyone else rather confused with vendors, mostly restaurants, pushing the use of credit cards over cash and then make you pay more for using a credit card? Which goes along with the higher prices as well. Please pick one. Also "tapping" your card means you shouldn't have to put in a code-isn't that the point?

Picked out cabinet color and countertop last week so things are moving. Though in getting the other bathroom ready for back-up duty, I find the darn vanity falling apart. So only $300 over allowance at this point, why not another new vanity. We will be taking showers in the sink and shaving over the toilet before this project gets done. Also hired the landscaper who can't start until June. Dilemma: do I harvest my rather substantial crop of weeds before the new work begins? Only downside I guess is looking like a bum who doesn't take care of my flower beds-Boo Hoo. 

Can't wait for my nurse eval this week where you memorize 3 words and then spit them back. At the moment I am juggling two projects with multiple vendors at the house, coordinating two podcasts and trying to clean out (evaluating trash or treasure) the cupboards that are going by-by for the bathroom remodel and sorting clothes for donation as it is my closet, of course, that will need to be cleaned out for the floor removal/replacement. Not to mention coordinating multiple dr appts and procedures for both of us. Yep, I'm diddly all right if I can't remember the three words. 

ON THE POLITICAL FRONT The first correspondent's dinner attended by marmie as president, in the middle of a couple of wars and we're supposed to believe a "lone" gunman gets through presidential level security and guns are fired outside of the room? At least an innocent person did not get killed in the latest distraction. Especially galling is the quick news conference touting the new ballroom that would have prevented this. Just saying...when poll numbers are down or magots are getting restless, "something" always happens. 

On the other hand, apparently attending sporting events is adequately secure for the orange one and his entourage. Not that I'm an expert, but why is our Sec of State going to wrestling matches instead of negotiating peace talks with Iran? Apparently, we are buying Iran as marmie sent two real estate skates - no experts in diplomacy, no nuclear experts, no military, just two bozos he is related to and golfs with. Makes sense...the impasse will go on. Wasn't the Strait of Hormoz open before we started firing Ferraris at Frisbees (million-dollar missiles at thousand-dollar drones)? Sooo, we are renegotiating what we already had in the original agreement, just spit balling here, but who's winning?

HOME FRONT OH and I just spent the last hour putting together our latest toy-a rolling gardening cart. Easy right? Fortunately, our roles are pre-determined. I read the instructions, he looks at the pictures and somehow, we make it through without yelling, throwing things and generally f--ng it up. I keep opinions to myself unless asked (I know right?) and yield to his logic and use of tools where I would just jam things together with a kitchen knife.  Instructions always seem to be deliberately vague, and a lot of guesswork ensues. However, every bolt was used so I call that a win. 

JP turns 14 this week so we are invited to his bowling party. I have been feeling I could maybe try to bowl despite all the extra internal hardware. Course I never could before so what makes me think I'd be any better now that I can't bend over. Actually, maybe that would be an advantage. JP can tell me what I'm doing wrong for a change... Peace Out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake💚💙💛

 

ENOUGH WITH THE APRIL SHOWERS ALREADY (April 19/144 or not)

FUN WEEK Good conference this week, though I am sorry our final panel on mental health did not pull the audience we were hoping for. Five excellent coaches on behavioral health including Bobby Hoffman of Channel 47. We sold all our booths and had a waiting list which has never happened. We are the hot conference, I guess. I introduced one of the speakers who talked about mitigating workplace violence as opposed to "preventing" which is a myth. He emphasizes "ain't nobody coming" so better figure out how to save yourself in that first 15 minutes. As an ex-cop, he uses somewhat "colorful" language. I interviewed him earlier in the year, but I am also the only one who can pronounce his difficult name, so I had the honor. He said just call him Lieutenant Dan (no not that one). 

"Person in the Street" promos went pretty well and after I tried out my questions on the first couple I sic'ed my protege on the rest. Hopefully we can use these all year to promote 2027. My student who was due Wednesday was in my booth when I got back from the Keynote Tuesday busily promoting the podcasts. Scheduling snafu which at first was upsetting as I was performing two live interviews Tuesday. Worked out as he was engaging, technically astute and I may possibly have hooked him up with a job as he is a graduating senior in Environmental studies. I think I should get an A in mentoring. Unfortunately, the second interview with the Keynote speaker never materialized as we kept missing each other. Oh well, always ZOOM.

A former difficult interviewee stopped by to say howdy while I was working with the student. He whined "she won't interview me again" figuring I would be polite with witnesses. Nope, "you're too high maintenance" I said. He was a bit flummoxed. Did I mention I am rather blunt and do not suffer fools gladly.  Instead of taking the small loss, he came back when I was alone and wanted to know why I won't interview him again. Making a long story short, he was difficult, wanted special treatment, interviewed when he sounded high (not proven, though I felt I needed to offer a different time), wanted to redo the interview, wanted me to feature his daughter in a second interview and then wouldn't let her say squat when I met with them and then made an insulting comment (not sexual, just extremely tone deaf). Guess it wasn't a short story. 

At any rate, I told him all of the above and said as a volunteer for the podcasts and with all the work that goes with it and no assistance, I get to choose who I will interview. I encouraged him to continue with his association with the conference-I think he's a speaker-but I don't have time or patience to make it work with him. We don't mesh. Ok, end of story. Nope-he went on for 10 minutes and I repeated myself calmly emotionless like a schoolteacher with an annoying student.  I did not know I was the IT girl when it came to podcasts. Best info I have is that I get about 1,000 listeners so not exactly world changing.  Though some people did stop by to say they listened every month so that was nice to hear. When I was telling the OH all this, he said probably no one has ever talked to him like that and told him no. Lol. Did I mention I can be extremely assertive when you get my Irish or Scorpio up? 

YOU SAID WHAT? It sure was fun being catholic this week with the VP lecturing the freakin' pope on "theology", 😕marmie dressing up like JC 😦 and hogshead quoting Tarantino at a prayer meeting for soldiers. That😅 stiff upper lip that soldiers cultivate must have come in handy. Meanwhile no one can find kissing petal (FBI) as he likes to lock himself in when he's drinking, which is most of the time allegedly. They almost called in a SWAT team as they couldn't get his office door open. This clown show, though I hate to denigrate clowns, are stepping all over their dic--s, er er, ties like the merry band of stooges they truly emulate. Unfortunately, they hold our futures in their tiny little hands.  

WHITE OR WHITE? The first baby steps (outside of a big down payment) have begun on bathroom design. We have seen and approved a new shower; met with the carpenter to design a new cabinet and begun discussing materials and paint colors. Now how close to our allowances can we come is the next challenge. 

FREEZE ALERT Well, of course there is. We are now entering Michigan's 2nd almost over winter timeframe. Don't tell the flowers and trees. Two days ago they were waving their fronds, petals, baby leaves, seeds in a merry welcome to Spring. Today, they are bowing to the north wind. The weeds are doing just fine, however. No matter how badly we mess up the world, Mother Nature carries on. Something comforting in that so, Peace out/Stay Strong/Love Your Neighbor/Eat More Cake 💚 💙💛

                                                                                       

                                                                                       

ANOTHER DAY OF MIRTH AND MAYHEM (April 13/145 or not)

 

MERCY! Busy weekend with JP bowling in the City tournament all weekend and getting ready for the Safety Conference this week which includes two live interviews and launching a "Person in the Street" promotion. Putting together interview questions for 60 second slots we will use for advertising. As I am covering several events, I have to assure my roving reporters have what they need. 

This is a whole thing as I have to attend the keynote to take notes to interview her later. I have a back-up script based on her resume and program she sent me a copy of, so should be alright. This is also tricky as last year I conducted an entire interview and when I reached over to end the interview, I heard the immortal words "Recording Started" OOOPPPS. Two attorneys too! But they were nice enough to let me reinterview at a later date. 

 I've invited student interns to stop by as an audience so they can basically, "see how the sausage is made" on the podcast. Then one is assigned to me Wednesday morning to hype the podcast. Though our experience with our students, college aged mind you, are they are not terribly verbal. Well, they are in the wrong profession as we safety/health folks are a talkative bunch. That is trying to talk someone into or out of something most of the time. My daughter calls me negative, but 40+ years of assessing potential problems makes one a tad tiresome. The student's first name is Waymond so I have no idea if I'm getting a man or woman, puppy, kitten aardvark. But I shall embrace the mentoring opportunity.

Fun fact. The office set up my badge which due to my long association has a number of ribbons noting different affiliations. However, instead of a Board member ribbon, they attached Board Chair. Golly is that guy going to be pissed-can't wait to see his reaction. There will be drama.

BUILDING ON Also had a second bathroom bid, landscaper, roof repair and gutter cover install as well as dealing with the roof "shovelers" taking up my week. Big news, we accepted the second bid which was roughly half the cost of the first one. And the builder we chose is always the one we look forward to on Parade of Homes, as his houses are so beautiful. So, the adventure begins. Timeline was much saner as well. A lot of choices to make in next couple of weeks.

To stay organized I keep folders of significant projects. Which came in handy when I was scoping responsibility for some roof repair. The roofer did not have the records going back that far but the OH gleefully told him, "oh she has her copies" - Lol.

IT'S JUST A GAS After consulting my Gas Buddy app, the best price was Shell in town. As we pulled up the sign displayed the great price, but by the time we were at the pump it went up 50 fricking cents! Seems like those in the station should be ollie ollie oxen free. Of course, that's the least of our problems with old Marmie threatening to nuke Iranians to oblivion. And no one steps up (Congress looking at you) to say squat as he plays hide and seek with the nuclear codes. Are we living in an alternative world or just a turd filled one? Boggles the mind that the prez can threaten WWIII and congress does nothing. Fortunately, our fearless leader is a TACO. 

Now that Iran has us by the straits who gets sent to negotiate, basically, Obama's original Iran plan? A couple of golf buddies and an incompetent VP, rather than experienced negotiators and nuclear specialists. 

OUT'A BE A LAW In the midst of juggling vendors and spending a lot of money last week, I also had a dentist appointment requiring a drive downtown. As I am rounding the curve on 496 this dude in a black truck decides my lane is better than his. Rapid deployment to the dirt side of the pavement until he casually swings back to his lane. As I pass him, he's still looking down and fumbling with something. Now my question is, how do people have time to honk? I am right next to the dude and the time it would take to find the horn I would put me in the ditch or the side of his truck. I still think he doesn't know how close he came to a very bad morning. Fortunately, car cursing can be delivered while one is playing Mario Andretti Road games.  Drive responsibly people.

Don't you love the DEI in play as the majority running the moon mission at NASA were female, the pilot was black and the two mission specialists on board were female and Canadian respectively! Power to the people! Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor/Eat More Cake 💚 💙💛

BAA-HAPPY EASTER-BAA (THAT'S A SHEEP LIKE BAA BAA ETC.) (April 5/146 or not)

 

ALLELUIA! HE IS RISEN!                                                                                                

                                                                                   

NUMBER 2 FAKE SPRING As the monsoon season commences, flowers are even more a'blooming. Squirrels are frolicking, though they do it all winter-no doubt to keep warm. I believe the current dancing has more to do with dating and mating. I fear for our fragile buds and young grass as things get more frantic. Now begins the robin wars. They love to start nests in inappropriate locales when there are perfectly good trees all around. I sit in the window when online, so I was idly noticing a VERY fat robin dragging long pieces of straw, dead foliage, confetti across the front lawn and over the sidewalk. Then it dawned-nest building!! I perused the front yard. Every year other birds comically try to construct over the porch lights that are not flat enough or large enough to hold a hummingbird's domicile. Then I spotted it. A massive tundra-like garden appearing over the garage floodlights. Large enough for a bird condo, but uh-huh buddy-not happening. After recon (robins are extremely aggressive) I grabbed my trusty broom and delivered mayhem and destruction on the budding building project. I did not stick around for the retaliation sure to come. Two days later, a fully formed baby ready nest appeared. Noting no occupancy, I knocked the sucker down which, though reinforced with mud and blood and beer it was a little harder this time. This was apparently constructed through rainstorms, so the engineering was amazing. 

Another favorite spot is the back floodlight at least 20 feet in the air, so not broom accessible. That has led to past tragedies when the entire nest came down, and little naked birdies came down with it. We had one such tragedy at the lake house where Mrs. R builds above a drainpipe protected from rain and sun. It also offers a nice vantage point from the house, so we have allowed that one a pass. However, one of her fledglings made an unexpected drop to the grass below. As my then five-year old grandson was heartbroken, he talked his dad into gingerly returning it to the nest. We are not sure it survived but the immediate effect allowed a tender heart to be placated.                                                                                                

CRUELTY ABOUNDS Big week for marmie-no strategy war almost resulted in the capture and torture of a pilot and top generals were dismissed in the middle of the conflict (possibly for not agreeing to insane orders that will kill thousands of soldiers). Though I think we would rather they got together and declared a mutiny against, not the country, but the unqualified civilians giving the orders. The gold human toilet also declared Medicare, Medicaid and childcare should not be funded so we can use all our money to fight more wars. He also had time to shut down the majority of our parks system and cut budgets for FEMA, Housing and Education. States should immediately stop any payments to the federal government. And oh yes, he bitches that he golfs too much (er, that he's too busy fighting wars) to focus on his ballroom. The courts have put a stop to that, and he has declared he will just ignore that order so technically we have reached that constitutional crisis we've been hearing so much about. And the maggots wonder why we protest "No Kings"? They sure are making this a great country-so much winning.

COLOR ME... No egg coloring with the grandson this year- too old for childish things I suppose. He asked when I stopped coloring eggs. I had to admit, "I haven't yet". So true to my word, I colored all dozen eggs by myself this year for his basket. Oh yes, must have the basket. Whether or not he admits it, he will be looking for it-not to mention the older ones. I will miss the mad egg hunting where we devised truly diabolical hiding places as he got older. As it's a balmy 35 degrees this Easter, probably good year to skip it.      

Full Stop. Company has arrived. Peace out/Stay strong/Love thy neighbor/Eat more cake 💚  💙💛

MISSED/MIXED MESSAGES (March 29/147 or not)

MONDAY MONDAY Sunday is pick up sticks day as the roller people are coming to mash down the yard. Hopefully any underground creatures that burrow as well. Monday will be busy with a roof shampoo, roller people and another laughable quote on the bathroom. Being gob smacked by the first estimate, I want to extend the game further to see what number I'm going to reject next. Don't need marble countertops, extra sinks and rain head showers (horrible waste of water) so can't imagine what a "luxury" bath remodel would cost. 

FLOWER POWER Funny how that works. Countries who pursued green energy alternatives are weathering some of the oil crisis issues. Of course, our administration reads it exactly backwards by criticizing countries during the current oil shortage that they are unprepared (like we are lol) because of their green energy advances. Countries like Spain are getting a significant amount of energy from the sun. Duhh-you can't fix stupid. On the other hand, the latest orange debacle could actually push us into the electric/green energy world that he clamped down on as soon as he assumed the "throne" (potty, not golden). It still boggles the mind that we are basing our whole world's fragile existence and dying over oil. Wow the UFO folks must be shaking their heads at our inability to quit paying homage to dead dinosaurs and utilize the technology that already exists to harvest things like the sun, wind, ocean currents, volcanoes-you know renewable sources.

QUALITY CANDIDATES Speaking of the war on DEI... A highly educated attorney, prosecutor and vice president was not "qualified to be president but someone with an associate's degree in construction who worked as a plumber (I am a big proponent of the trades, just not as the head of ICE, TSA, FEMA, etc.) is deemed "qualified to run a large Cabinet-level multi-billion dollar position vital to our national security. And then there's the 22-year old ex-grocery clerk (who loves marmie) who was appointed to run the department of homeland security. What do they have in common? Both poor little under-utilized and underqualified white males-yep that tracks. I know the feeling. A year running the activity and the job goes to an unqualified white male and I continue to do the job and have to train the new boss. Yes, I understand. DEI sucks unless you're an unqualified white male. At least I had no qualms about my "loyalty" when I moved on to a better and bigger job at another locale as apparently loyalty only works one way. 

NO KINGS Beautiful day for a peaceful joyful protest against he who would be king both here and abroad. That darn Soros sure has a lot of money to pay 8 million + to rally. Best repugs could say was "you're so upset about gas prices, it was $4 under Biden". Wow, two problems with that 1) trying to regroup after the utter chaos of the first marmie invasion and covid and 2) it's the maggots that are upset about the gas prices duh.  Not about a convicted felon, a sexual predator, starting a war because of a "feeling", not about accepting bribes, not the killing of American citizens, not taking away health insurance, food assistance and 1,000s of federal employees (including TSA and Veterans Affairs and hospitals) but gas prices are what triggered their outrage. Dare I think they joined the rest of us on parade?

During these times of airport chaos, I bet people are missing old "Sleepy Joe" who passed a number of regulations about airlines making immediate cash refunds, rebooking at no extra fee, compensating for delays, etc. etc. Thank goodness marmie clawed all those "wasteful" perks back as soon as he was given the com-whew! Deregulation does have its little quirks.

"HIGH" SURPRISE Imagine my confusion and, I admit it, a little excitement when the OH relayed a phone message about someone trying to deliver our edibles. Although we have never partaken and probably not particularly interested, if someone feels we need a sample, perhaps it is only fate. So, I eagerly sat down to carefully listen to the phone message. "Edible Arrangements" is not the same as edibles-bummer. Second disappointment:  there was no identifier of who they were looking for, and the local store did not have an order in our name. All said. I would have been happy with the fruit.

MONEY MONEY Time to get back on the horse and prepare for my live interviews at the conference. These are fun and not as rigid as my usual. I still script, but there is just an added level of fun as my RECORDING sign starts blinking drawing passers-by to watch the show. I also got word that I received requests for six sponsorships so the next several shows will include a commercial as part of the spiel. All for a good cause (scholarships for EHS students) and I feel a bit like Paul Harvey (for the old people in the crowd) though I suppose his announcement of Page 2 when he goes to commercial is probably copyrighted. We're also going to use a roving reporter to snatch some candid impressions of the conference for publication. Quick 45-60 second spots I still need to write easy questions for. The mini-microphone looks like a puffball on a stick so very non-intimidating. Hopefully that will calm any stage fright issues. 

LAUNDRY BONUS I have mentioned my fondness for GS cookies and was able to supplement my frozen supply recently. Does anyone else have laundry cookies? The freezer is right next to the dryer and when performing my weekly task, I like to enjoy one of my frozen thin mints when emptying the dryer. Perfect for the long trip back up two flights of stairs with the clean clothes. My reward so to speak.  Peace out/Stay strong/Love your neighbor/Eat more cake....💚   💙💛

DON'T STEP ON THE DAFFIES! (March 23/148 or not)

SPRINGING!! I'm sure we all noticed the obvious and momentous moment when Spring officially arrived at 10:46 am Friday, March 20. Flowers blooming, bunnies bouncing, sunshine and rainbows. Not so much? Well, everyone knows if it says so on the calendar it must be true. I stupidly chose to stick with a sweater and no coat so obviously winter has blown it's last nasty breath. Dreamers dream. And dummies get cold.

YOU GOUDA BE KIDDING Do you know what Pinconning has a lot of?  Cheese cheese and more cheese. We managed to hit three of the four outlets and surprise...they all had cheese! Every persuasion and flavor combination one could imagine and some combos, that just made you scratch your head. You know like anchovy, truffles and red wine Pinconning which would be very expensive but taste like so much luxurious crap. Also amusing was finding Pam's Pantry dip mixes advertised as "Made exclusively in Grand Ledge Michigan"! And one store had a Bergdorf's wine display that probably had more bottles than the actual distributor in Williamston. I almost got the tee-shirt stating "I cut the cheese in Pinconning" but I suppose most would not get the joke that Pinconning is the cheese capital of Michigan, as stated on a sign coming into town. I was also able to snag a jar of Bacon Jam that I gifted my bacon loving son-in-law. 

POLY-TICKS Is anyone else freaked out by the creepy Perry for gov commercials with his insane googly eyes and slicked down toupee staring into the camera from six inches away promising to be a baby trump? Read the room brother. I'm all for giving everyone a chance, but there seem to be more dementia patients running for office than usual. They are really hurting the reputation of legitimately challenged folks. 

Telling the truth for once, marmie indicated that "intelligence played no role in his decision, based on a feeling, to invade Iran." This was after his stellar and questionable patriot tu-tu grabber admitted on record that her intelligence briefings to the boss did not indicate any imminent threat. You know since we destroyed all their nuclear capability last June? Just looks a bunch of cosplaying by the powers that be with our military and real people dying for no particular reason while the world reels due to oil shortages.

DRIVING DOWN When you keep cars forever you have to pay the piper now and then. My old Impala is now sporting brand new feet (tires) and shapewear (shocks and struts). We immediately tested it by driving I75 to Bay City and beyond where the roads rival the worst Lansing has to offer. 75 around Flint is also a pothole looking for a road. The auto shop said the car should drive like a dream. The first road trip was more of a nightmare. And fun fact, Bay City supplements its coffers by charging to drive over one of its bridges. Since you are surrounded by water it can be pretty lucrative. And to make it even more convenient, it's all handled electronically with an invoice mailed to your home. Like the proverbial small town speed trap, out-of-towners pay $5.50 a trip (each way!). The locals know how to dodge it, but when caught pay about $2. Hopefully they will apply the windfall to their roads. 

ROLLING ON JP bowled his first tournie. Though he didn't burn up the lanes he ended up beating his average most of the nine games. Though I rather think hanging with his teammates as they went swimming, roaming the halls of the hotel and eating hot dogs at a lakeside cook-out were more of an appeal. But he did agree to join a summer league. His teammates' father coaches bowling at a local high school, so we get the benefit of his guidance as well as Grandpa's weekly coaching sessions. Long afternoon sent me for popcorn a couple of times garnering the life story of the snack lounge proprietor. I don't know how I always end up hearing about occupations and "hazards" they have experienced. This dude was an ex-lumberjack and had the injuries to prove it. It is so ironic that they talk about their injuries at the same time they complain about the safety equipment. That was my career. Hollering down a well of defiant accident victims ready to prove me right. 

Six Big10's in the Sweet Sixteen! Peace out/Stay strong/Love your neighbor/Eat more cake.  💚 💙💛

                                                                                                                

BEWARE OF EVERYTHING (March 15/149 or not)

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH   Though some may want to avoid us regardless of the date. We just like to celebrate the number 15 and March is the bonus month. To steal from another poster "it's not about just the stabbing; it's about coming together to stab in groups". And to mangle another cliche the picture reminds us about the superiority of the pen to the sword... Apparently, as the FCC Chair is threatening licenses if the news doesn't start telling "Mary had a Little Lamb" stories about the Iran debacle. You would think someone in the Circus would have told the chief clown that the Strait of Hormuz was a bottleneck controlled by Iran. Also, that religious types will fight to the death-theirs and yours. 

                                 

ALLEGRA BOTTLE FRUSTRATION When I was at MSU in 1970 they introduced a new major, i.e, "Packaging". We may now curse that day as well as we struggle tearing nails and skin trying to liberate our vital items from their cursed protective bubbles, plastic, cardboard, staples and glue. I think one of our friends parlayed that major into a job at Proctor and Gamble so at least there is a face/identity available to focus our ire.  

RANDOM FACT If you have ever pondered, or even noticed, the lone orange cone behind utility trucks it is not to stop a rear-end collision. Especially since we all know -hands in the air if guilty-how feeble and fragile those babies are when we nail one. It is to force the driver to walk around their truck to assure no vehicle, stray animal, ball or small person has taken up residence back there before backing up.  This fascinating conversation took place as we noticed our cable guy diligently placing said orange guardian behind his van. For those keeping count, this is the second incident of the cable taking a crap. First time was Super Bowl weekend-thanks Xfinity-though they did come out and give us a new box before the game. We are terribly untechie outside of unplugging and plugging the cable but it usually takes me at least an hour to convince the online robot and robotic technicians to understand I need live boots on the ground assistance. 

After a couple of weeks, the cable again took the proverbial crap. This frustration took two hours to convince the invisible people I needed help. However, not a total waste as they were able to push their latest toys and upgrades. Apparently, they work on commission. Verdict on latest outage, wait for it... bad box!! Little known fact about the cable dudes and dudettes. They will adjust any mechanical issue you have with your televisions or remotes if you're nice to them. Suddenly we have clear HD, no weird messages showing up when we turn it on and remotes that actually control the sound (issues on separate televisions). And they don't give you that old person stink eye denoting how incapable we are, to them, to handle simple issues. 

Cable dude asked if we minded not being able to see the time on the box (we were wrong) and installed this itsy bitsy, teeny weeny wireless box about 6"x 6" that can do everything the big boys do discreetly. However, we do miss glancing up to see the time. Funny how you get used to doing things without noticing. Mr. Grandfather only chimes on the quarter hour, so not helpful. Since I take my one piece of chocolate for the day (usually) at 8 pm I like to know how close I am to snack time. Not to mention when you watch everything on DVR you really have no idea of time passing as you skim through the boring parts like commercials. Yes, we are probably the only people in the known world who do not use streaming services-we're ok with network-sue me.

Ok. Something is wrong with my plug-in and I'm going to lose power so I will have to end this.

Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor/Eat More Cake  💚  💙💛

LIKE A LION OR A LAMB? (March 9/150 or not)

DOOR GYPSIES I'm all for other-abled or workers' comp folks staying gainfully employed, but have you ever interacted with the Meijer greeters? Pre-requisites include ability to say "welcome" and "have a good day" ad nauseum with the proper amount of enthusiasm and delight for each customer. As they are also stationed at the door, being able to withstand cold and hot blasts from nature as necessary. Ability to overlook rude, cranky and small children without rancor. The ones at our store appear to be possibly of a religious persuasion based upon the number wearing head coverings, or maybe that's the environment. Ability to jockey a wheelchair effectively a plus, though often I see the chair empty denoting a possible miracle or bathroom break sans (without) chair. 

Perhaps they are there for another reason-security perhaps? I had hit the pharmacy and then realized I needed to shop a bit necessitating a basket. As the baskets/carts are in front of the "greeter-secret police" wheelchair gypsies I wondered if I would be called out about my unpaid items in paw. I made eye contact-bad/good idea with the gestapo. "You looking at me" or "What, you afraid to look at me" dilemma. No one cared. So again, not sure their ultimate purpose as I don't see the point of someone interrupting my get-in-get-out with minimum fuss philosophy. 

MEMORY Catching a news story about new and improved heart attack treatment techniques at a local hospital took me back to my first aid training days. Apparently, in CPR we don't emphasize breathing support as much anymore on a pulseless victim, just chest compressions.  It seems easier to get folks to do something, and chest compressions are easier to administer (not really) unless it's a drowning, drug overdose or an infant. We used to practice pole top rescue. Yes, just what you'd think-someone getting zapped with 17.6k on a utility pole. After cutting the circuit we would hang a "live volunteer" from his gear, and the second line worker would spike on up and administer a precordial thump! A smart smack to the middle of the chest. One, most electrocutions stop the heart cold (best kind if you have to have a heart stoppage) and a quick hard thump "may" bring it back. Second, kind of hard to do CPR hanging from harnesses on a pole. Consider my horror watching the action using live people. I suggested to management we buy a CPR dummy. As usual I took the fun out of the activity and seniors no longer got to torment the fresh meat. So next time you have a beef with the utility company who suddenly killed the juice during your latest Minecraft adventure contemplate that your neighborhood worker might be experiencing a really bad day.

CONTRACTION DISTRACTION The "old man" (founder and owner of our original roofer) showed up to review the dueling opinions on the roof. He didn't trash anyone...much...but he did say we need some work done. What was surprising is he believed what they put up originally should have survived as long as the rest of the roof as he tends to use materials of a better grade. Watching the 70+ dude cavorting on my roof like a mountain goat and bending over to take pictures almost stopped my heart. At any rate, some work needs to be done, and he will try to make it as painless, economically, as possible as he believes its only right. How refreshing. Meanwhile the "other" roofer who mysteriously found multiple problems (not) have not billed me for putting the extra board up which started the whole mess to begin with so we shall see. 

Teaching FA/CPR classes at the Red Cross for out-of-state construction workers were always an adventure. It is a MIOSHA rule that someone on the crew had to know FA/CPR. Classes were mostly attended by gentlemen who did not want to be there, and their grumpy comments were eye-opening to say the least. Poor Resuci-Anne was much abused in practice, or these guys had been away from home too long. Thank goodness she was not equipped with auditory abilities. At least it took the heat off as they were always polite to me which makes sense as I was the one giving them the pass/fail grade.

WHILE THEY STILL HAVE IT On a positive note, my IRS refund came back in four days proving I didn't mess up too badly with my software program. Of course, they have seven years to "gotcha" or change the rules but since they fired most of the staff I don't imagine most of us have to worry for a while. Though considering this obscene war begun by marmie because "he had a feeling" is sucking us dry in casualties, and expense, I would recommend you get your forms in early. 

THE PURGE BEGINS?? Borrowing from my favorite columnist Celia, "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" Justice for Cricket. One down and many, many more to go. Killing people and spending too much money, hanking and panking with the staff and screwing up the entire department was fine. But when she tried to blame the bosss... well that is one red line you do not cross. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT An early shout-out to my big sis who is celebrating her latest trip around the sun on the 9th. We've known each other forrreevver obviously. She always did everything first, but by the time my older brother and she aggravated my parents enough I got away with everything - LOL. One time I beat her, as I was one of those desperate to drive, was when I got my license first at 16. Which of course prompted her to get hers at the ripe old age of 17? 

Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor/Have some Cake  💚   💙💛

SNOW BEGONE (March 1/151 or not)

RINGING IN MY EARS  Is it just me or does everyone struggle with contractors not calling you back or neglecting to call back after an initial visit with promise of a bid? One dude called back after eight months with a bid and was pissed I already moved on. Right, 8 months for a bid would probably mean a visqueened roof masquerading as adequate cover for six months until they managed to get the roof reshingled. Call me impatient. 

Companies advertise like crazy, inundate you with offers to work for you on Facebook, then crickets. What is the issue? Are they waiting for the jobs costing ten grand or more? Though not every job is 1000s and 1000s of dollars, but maybe think future work? Being recommended to others? Avoid being badmouthed by not responding or keeping commitments? What am I missing here? All that to introduce my phoning and emailing several contractors last week hoping for a "human" response to get a couple of jobs done.

 "Heard the contractor went out to get some hinges and never came back" is no joke. 

Update: I now have dueling roofers claiming problems from the other one's previous work. They know each other, so should be interesting. All I know is it will probably cost me a bundle before it gets sorted out. So much for warranties. I even contacted someone I've done business with before at MIOSHA who was pouty, I didn't call them for the original roof. So tried them first-crickets. Wait until I see those boys again. 

Secondly, trying to find a landscaper for, what could be an expensive project, who is willing to talk to new customers. Is it something in the water? I now have an appointment with my original referral, but it is challenging to get call backs. My trusting a familiar landscaper's name last year led to a crap job as the name is apparently just passed around among the relatives who cut their teeth with them and then went out on their own. I chose wrong. My biggest project and future headache is a bathroom remodel, where "Holmes on Homes" says you should get about three bids (they actually read and respond to emails) where I fear I will not even be able to get one bid. Their suggestion was to work with an interior designer who probably has contacts in the construction arena. More expensive, but more oversight I am guessing, but sound advice. Money to spend but nobody wants to play, I guess. 

"Why did the contractor bring a ladder to the job? Heard drinks were on the house"

MOST EVERYTHING WORKS Medical update. Seven weeks post-op and things seem good. Jumping up at will and hoofing it up the stairs with ease. I still can't play the violin, however. I caught my first cold in years so dragging a bit. I am happy to give a shout-out for Nyquil my nighttime sleep agent though. One ear has pretty much shut down so the TV volume games commence. A lot of "what" or "I just said that" ensues. 

NUMBER 8 Apparently this is the 7th or 8th time marmie has decided to deploy his toy soldiers. This time however some of our own are already dead not to mention civilians. This after earlier last week saying we "obliterated" Iran's nuclear program and four days later claiming Iran was days away from a nuclear device. But what do you expect when you're being advised by real estate diplomats running negotiations, a drunk with a god complex and the "chief" with dementia. God help us.

WEATHER OR NOT?  Starting to get whiplash as ole Mother Nature keeps swishing her skirts and changing her mind-spring or winter? Good day, good day, bad, good, meh. Snow, rain, sleet, frogs and flying pumpernickel predicted for this week. Robins all over the frozen ground. Keep your hard hats handy and sense of humor close to hand. 

                                                       

RIP Unfortunately, just found out a friend of mine from the conference passed away last weekend. We would always be the ones who would make snarky comments quietly or eyeroll when people got a little too clever, and we had enough seniority to get away with it. One must always call out the pretentious and bring things back down to earth. Meetings will be a lot more business-like and less fun in the future. It's hell getting older.  The younger ones are correctly and gratefully taking the reins, but they're just so dang serious. Peace out/stay strong/love your neighbor 💚  💙💛