I found the words from that day when I sat in a chair to one side and he sat next to her stroking her hand. They have the ability to hurt as much as they did when I wrote them one year ago.
"I saw my Father grow old today-60 years loving, fussing, laughing and crying. Keep her breathing. Sitting in silence when once it was "JIM" until you wanted to scream. Please holler at him-can't you hear me? Stay with me. I am not ready for her to go, he said today."
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
ELECTION SCENES
Our question this week for the Lansing State Journal was "What is the number 1 Issue that will influence your vote for President in November?" Duhh-though I agree and concede the economy and the endless costly war, I wrote something different which even my more conservative spouse related to:
"We need a government that recognizes what made America great. The freedom to achieve whatever our aptitude and daring allow. A government that focuses on national issues and stays out of our churches and bedrooms. Stop destroying and over-regulating our ability to choose our own path. Take care of those issues that we as individuals cannot. Take care of the hopeless, the children, the working poor. Otherwise leave us alone to forge our own way without detours. Do I get to vote for that?"
"We need a government that recognizes what made America great. The freedom to achieve whatever our aptitude and daring allow. A government that focuses on national issues and stays out of our churches and bedrooms. Stop destroying and over-regulating our ability to choose our own path. Take care of those issues that we as individuals cannot. Take care of the hopeless, the children, the working poor. Otherwise leave us alone to forge our own way without detours. Do I get to vote for that?"
Thursday, July 17, 2008
ANNIVERSARY OF SORTS
Today marks one year since Mother electrified us all with her first, tentative visit to the other side. Only a strong set of genes and unwillingness to let go brought her back as we now understand.
For a year I have carried a notepad with the thoughts that were going through my head as I watched Dad stroking her hand and asking her to come back. It is easier for me to write than to think what I cannot bear. But oddly enough today when I wanted to write it, the notepad has disappeared. It will be painful to write and even more painful to read if I do come across those words.
Apparently my butterfly has decided this week of play and celebration should not be marred by thoughts of sorrow. Ok you win again my dear......
For a year I have carried a notepad with the thoughts that were going through my head as I watched Dad stroking her hand and asking her to come back. It is easier for me to write than to think what I cannot bear. But oddly enough today when I wanted to write it, the notepad has disappeared. It will be painful to write and even more painful to read if I do come across those words.
Apparently my butterfly has decided this week of play and celebration should not be marred by thoughts of sorrow. Ok you win again my dear......
MORE BIRTHDAY SCENES
What a birthday week. Mother would have had a fit! Roy boy played golf Monday and Tuesday on leagues and then came over to pick up Burt Man. They proceeded to bang another 18 holes in. Dinner was succulent pork chops and general collapse on the couch after Dad and I killed a bottle of red wine. He really likes wine, when you give him some good stuff. He even drank it at room temperature. I made a reservation online for Golden Ide and Diamond Jim for early Wednesday and they were not too proud to take advantage of the 84-years young birthday boy's senior discount. They hit the road before I left for work!
They had a lousy breakfast on the way and had to wend their way through the Junior League at the Emerald; playing through when they could and whining old age when they couldn't. Finished in record time and meandered up to Soaring Eagle for a little entertainment. Dad of course had "freebies" coming for his birthday that covered gas and lunch and, oh I don't know, a little bit of gambling. Waiting in line to get B man a Players Club card they read a sign indicating another $10 when you sign up a friend-I suppose it can be an enemy or relative or dog or whatever-$10 is $10. Consequently, Dad ended up losing $2 and Burt made $15. I arrived home to find them collapsed on the couch again in the fetal position. The first cocktail of the evening had already been drunk.
Of course I wouldn't force the B man to make dinner after "playing" all day, so we went to Dads favorite Italian place for dinner where we indulged in further martini time and good food. Kristen joined us and we ended up talking about babies and labor, etc for some odd reason.... hmmmm. With Dad's selective hearing, all he heard was baby and exclaimed "What you're pregnant?" No, no, but nice of you to drop into the conversation. After an extremely hilarious dinner we trekked back to the ranch and indulged ourselves with "Birthday Pie"-who needs cake. However, I had to make a mad dash to the store for ice cream as apparently whipped cream is not what you put on "birthday pie". Who knew? After stuffing our turkeys, dead silence reigned as the three of us lay in stupors digesting the day. Fortunately our couch is big enough for three.
Dad finally tootled off to bed and the boys were back up and at it again this morning for another 18. I saw the fading taillights of the big red "Broozer" heading down the street as I came back from exercising at 6:10 am. I am speculating that the big guy arrived home and has not been heard from again. How many years can he pull off this birthday caper. RIGHT ON DAD!
They had a lousy breakfast on the way and had to wend their way through the Junior League at the Emerald; playing through when they could and whining old age when they couldn't. Finished in record time and meandered up to Soaring Eagle for a little entertainment. Dad of course had "freebies" coming for his birthday that covered gas and lunch and, oh I don't know, a little bit of gambling. Waiting in line to get B man a Players Club card they read a sign indicating another $10 when you sign up a friend-I suppose it can be an enemy or relative or dog or whatever-$10 is $10. Consequently, Dad ended up losing $2 and Burt made $15. I arrived home to find them collapsed on the couch again in the fetal position. The first cocktail of the evening had already been drunk.
Of course I wouldn't force the B man to make dinner after "playing" all day, so we went to Dads favorite Italian place for dinner where we indulged in further martini time and good food. Kristen joined us and we ended up talking about babies and labor, etc for some odd reason.... hmmmm. With Dad's selective hearing, all he heard was baby and exclaimed "What you're pregnant?" No, no, but nice of you to drop into the conversation. After an extremely hilarious dinner we trekked back to the ranch and indulged ourselves with "Birthday Pie"-who needs cake. However, I had to make a mad dash to the store for ice cream as apparently whipped cream is not what you put on "birthday pie". Who knew? After stuffing our turkeys, dead silence reigned as the three of us lay in stupors digesting the day. Fortunately our couch is big enough for three.
Dad finally tootled off to bed and the boys were back up and at it again this morning for another 18. I saw the fading taillights of the big red "Broozer" heading down the street as I came back from exercising at 6:10 am. I am speculating that the big guy arrived home and has not been heard from again. How many years can he pull off this birthday caper. RIGHT ON DAD!
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