I heard an interesting statistic today. Supposedly 64% of American women fit the plus-size dimensions as determined by the "fashion industry". The same industry that designs 90% of their clothing line to fit the 8-10 year old body that apparently they believe is the norm or perhaps what we should strive to emulate. Even more disturbing is their definition that plus-size starts at size 14. I would daresay that if I checked any "normal" American woman's closets, including mine, I would find clothing from size 8 to size 14 or higher. It depends on the designer. That is why when many of us go shopping it does take several hours as we must try on multiple clothing items (all claiming to be the same thing of course) to find one that actually fits!
If you linger near the very limited number of dressing rooms available (what's up with that by the way, as no one can buy off the rack without trying it on) you will no doubt hear the sounds of grunting, sharply drawn in breath and quiet,yet fluent, cursing as we try to fit our very real bodies into very poorly designed clothing. My assumption is that the designers and store buyers must believe that little girls have all the money. NEWS FLASH-we mature women have the money, the need and the desire to purchase well-made and flattering clothing. Don't even let me get started on boots and shoes. As we mature, our feet become wider yet I defy anyone to find a comfortable, flattering shoe in a wide size and yet again, we are the ones with the money!
Why do women put up with this? Men buy a pair of pants by waist and length and it doesn't change based on a designer's whim of what they think a man should wear. Same with jackets and shirts-neck and length and a little more generous tailoring where needed. My theory is that we don't complain and demand the industry listen to what we want. Instead women are allowing themselves to be brain-washed into believing they must look a certain way or be a certain size to be acceptable. To that I politely say bushwah (thought really it's spelled bullshit)! I complain every time, but then I am known for my impatience with incompetence and bad service. However the clerks, store managers and buyers do not really care as we continue to buy this crap. Money talks and maybe we don't realize how much power we actually have.
We all need to step up and support our normal sized sisters and demand better choices. We need to celebrate we are built like women and not 10 years old children who dress way too provocatively by the way. We need to stop cramming our beautiful curves and slightly wider feet into things that do not fit and quit being so damn polite about it. Support designers that "get it" and design for all shapes and sizes. Get noisy ladies-change doesn't happen in silent acceptance-you just get more of the same.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
LIFE LESSONS FROM TODDLERS
Recent visits from my darling little grandson have forced moments of bribery, err negotiation, as he "wants what he wants when he wants it" and meltdowns are messy and embarrassing when they occur in public. It prompts me to ponder that dealing with a 2 1/2 year old is similar to personal interactions with people of all ages. Or perhaps a lifetime of experience in personal encounters has allowed a certain wisdom when applied to a head-strong toddler. I have always had a problem with the word "compromise" as it means one or both have given up something in order to reach agreement.
Human interactions, contract negotiations, complaint resolution, ordering a hamburger with no onion all rely on a certain amount of problem resolution. We seem to be by nature, or nurture, under the impression that we must win or at least best the other person no matter how insignificant the encounter. It takes maturity to realize both can end up winning yet it is a concept that is not universally acceptable. Why is that? When raising children or grandchildren our goal is to raise happy, confident, honest little people who understand they are loved and are able to love others. And of course, we also need to understand when we are being bullied and not allow others to affect our own feelings of worthiness.
When contemplating any negotiation what we think we must have is really more an issue of want rather than need, and to be honest, in most cases we can be happy with a lot less than originally believed. To inspire that positive negotiation in others requires active listening - Open ears, Close mouth. I was "schooled" in the practice of the active listening technique over many years of investigating business and safety failures in order to provide a plan of action, solution or preventive measures. Amazing what people reveal about themselves and situations when you just wait and are legitimately interested in what they say. I confess I also perfected the ability to swallow a yawn without the other person ever knowing. Ok, everything is not fascinating but one does owe respect.
Have you ever noticed how a sales person will get a little personal (to a point) when trying to close the sale? We would much rather buy from a "friend" even a temporary one. This concept works whether you are selling "fries with that burger" or the extra accessories on your new car. Of course that is also the opportunity for the buyer to obtain a few perks -- a lower price, more free add-ons or services. Also the higher priced the item, the more the sales person is willing to negotiate. Both buyer and seller are happy. Isn't that a much better way to feel after your interactions?
As for my beloved grandson, I normally give in to his demands though I do employ redirection and substitution whenever possible. That way neither one of us has a tantrum...
Human interactions, contract negotiations, complaint resolution, ordering a hamburger with no onion all rely on a certain amount of problem resolution. We seem to be by nature, or nurture, under the impression that we must win or at least best the other person no matter how insignificant the encounter. It takes maturity to realize both can end up winning yet it is a concept that is not universally acceptable. Why is that? When raising children or grandchildren our goal is to raise happy, confident, honest little people who understand they are loved and are able to love others. And of course, we also need to understand when we are being bullied and not allow others to affect our own feelings of worthiness.
When contemplating any negotiation what we think we must have is really more an issue of want rather than need, and to be honest, in most cases we can be happy with a lot less than originally believed. To inspire that positive negotiation in others requires active listening - Open ears, Close mouth. I was "schooled" in the practice of the active listening technique over many years of investigating business and safety failures in order to provide a plan of action, solution or preventive measures. Amazing what people reveal about themselves and situations when you just wait and are legitimately interested in what they say. I confess I also perfected the ability to swallow a yawn without the other person ever knowing. Ok, everything is not fascinating but one does owe respect.
Have you ever noticed how a sales person will get a little personal (to a point) when trying to close the sale? We would much rather buy from a "friend" even a temporary one. This concept works whether you are selling "fries with that burger" or the extra accessories on your new car. Of course that is also the opportunity for the buyer to obtain a few perks -- a lower price, more free add-ons or services. Also the higher priced the item, the more the sales person is willing to negotiate. Both buyer and seller are happy. Isn't that a much better way to feel after your interactions?
As for my beloved grandson, I normally give in to his demands though I do employ redirection and substitution whenever possible. That way neither one of us has a tantrum...
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