I love watching the home improvement shows and am addicted to House Hunters. I have learned a lot about what goes into a renovation and how much things cost with special emphasis on having a realistic contingency fund because something usually pops up that wasn't planned for. I also learned that a good project does not happen overnight if you want it done right. Anyone who has painted knows the prep and clean-up almost take more time than the actual painting. Not sexy or glamorous, but part of any project is stopping to repair, sort, clean, etc.
However the worst part about those shows is the people! Of course I know they are going to pick folks who bitch about everything and expect a million dollar house for a hundred thousand. Where did these people come from? What have they been led to expect? Even my first house was reasonably priced and I did not go into it thinking "this place sucks and I will immediately remodel". Apartment dwellers with all the fancy finishes they have now come to expect or people who also watch these crazy shows? I am especially embarrassed when I watch the international shows and the Americans always say "it's so small" or "if it doesn't have a dishwasher I'm walking". I can't help but notice the painful face the Realtors try their best to disguise when dealing with these types of remarks. They also say they want to live like the natives, but with all the modern conveniences. Huh?
Speaking of Realtors I have learned if I ever buy again to tell them my budget is 50 to 75 thousand dollars less than I'm willing to spend. They inevitably ignore the buyer's stating I will not go higher than such and such. What a joke. I take that as apparently a challenge for the realtor to show them everything but what they asked for.
The funniest one I saw recently showed sheer horror that the "toilet" did not have a separate room and door. The very words were snobbishly uttered "who would have a bathroom where they come in to use the sink and have someone sitting right there next to it on the toilet". Ah, I normally do not anticipate company when I am using the bathroom so one can only imagine what their earlier life must have been about. Also if you can't wait to use the other facilities you have invited yourself into my personal moment so not my problem.
I also enjoy when they say they don't want cookie-cutter and want character and then demand the same white kitchen, stone counter tops, "soaker tub" (bathtub in the real world), open concept (why add the redundancy of "concept" to "open") and hardwood floors. Wood floors are off my list the first time I see the commercials for special products you have to use to protect against children, mud, dogs, high heels, oh I don't know life happening and people using your floors. Yes, we had hard-wood floors in the 50's but they were full of the scratches of real use. Anything that requires me to scream at visitors, bar my grandson and grand dog from walking and apply fancy finishes every two weeks is way more attention than I ever want to pay to an inanimate object.
Saw pictures today of a local flipper who showed a newly remodeled kitchen with, you guessed it, white cupboards, stone counter tops, stainless steel (scratchable, dentable, fingerprint magnet) appliances. What "proverbial" Jones are we trying to keep up with? Do we have no imagination or are we afraid of being judged if we don't have everything everyone else has? Boring....
But there is one modern convenience that I whole-heartily endorse. My own bathroom attached to my bedroom. Otherwise another bathroom for everyone else and family is just fine. I grew up with seven people in my family and one bathroom; and SURVIVED! I actually saw a program where the father said if each child did not have their own bathroom that was a deal-breaker, again Huh? But yes, two bathrooms are nice and it will not contaminate your guests to use the same bathroom as your children or vice versa-horrors.
My whole point is buy what you like. Decorate in a way that reflects your unique personality and family needs. Everything is not going to be exactly what you want at the price you want to pay. Remodeling doesn't have to happen today. Be bold, be different and if your circle criticizes or turns up their nose at your choices well just serve them the cheap wine and get a new circle.
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Friday, May 20, 2016
AND THE MOMENT IS NOW?
We have all heard or read that true inner peace exists by living in the moment. Easily said, not easily practiced. Don't we think about six errands ahead while we are engaged in one? Don't we plan the next stop and task while engaged in a current one? Don't we look for various ways to amuse ourselves in the future while we are performing a current moment? Is the issue that we are afraid that we will be bored if we don't plan ahead? I speculate that the guru of the moment has very little in his or her life besides "living in the moment" as 1) they don't have a whole lot to do living on that mountaintop and 2) that is their stock and trade to practice what they preach or at least attempt to perfect their occupation.
That rather elaborate preamble was to introduce my revelation this morning as I tortured myself with my exercise routine. Since my injured knee, strenuous exercise has been regulated to every other day rather than every day to allow some recovery from overtaxing my crappy arthritic limbs. Those who know me understand that admitting to any weakness or popping pills is not my thing. I refuse to believe that age alone contributes to a lifetime of what I perceive to be weakness. So I stop taking my pain pills and pop a Tylenol now and then; or I force myself to keep moving when every step is torture. I am not old!
Ok, again I digress. Halfway through my routine, I work out with some weights, in front of a mirror. Ok, I'm alone at 3:45-4:00 in the am so I face the mirror. I try to blur my eyes so I don't see what I see. Live in the moment. Feel what you feel. I see this 60+ lady with a little pot belly sweating while she lifts the weight overhead and stretches sideways as far as she can go to hopefully keep her joints working. When you live in the moment you feel more, you see more and you focus more. Maybe there's something to this moment thing. I felt strength and pride in my ability to at least do something to keep myself mobile. I drifted. I thought of my Grandfather struck with rheumatoid arthritis and confined to a wheelchair most of his adult life. A man who was active, athletic and confined to a wheelchair for 40+ years. That is what keeps me going. Knowing that no matter what my issue is, there is always someone who is going through so much more.
Maybe this living the moment is meant to help you grow and receive insight. It will be hard but I'm going to try.
That rather elaborate preamble was to introduce my revelation this morning as I tortured myself with my exercise routine. Since my injured knee, strenuous exercise has been regulated to every other day rather than every day to allow some recovery from overtaxing my crappy arthritic limbs. Those who know me understand that admitting to any weakness or popping pills is not my thing. I refuse to believe that age alone contributes to a lifetime of what I perceive to be weakness. So I stop taking my pain pills and pop a Tylenol now and then; or I force myself to keep moving when every step is torture. I am not old!
Ok, again I digress. Halfway through my routine, I work out with some weights, in front of a mirror. Ok, I'm alone at 3:45-4:00 in the am so I face the mirror. I try to blur my eyes so I don't see what I see. Live in the moment. Feel what you feel. I see this 60+ lady with a little pot belly sweating while she lifts the weight overhead and stretches sideways as far as she can go to hopefully keep her joints working. When you live in the moment you feel more, you see more and you focus more. Maybe there's something to this moment thing. I felt strength and pride in my ability to at least do something to keep myself mobile. I drifted. I thought of my Grandfather struck with rheumatoid arthritis and confined to a wheelchair most of his adult life. A man who was active, athletic and confined to a wheelchair for 40+ years. That is what keeps me going. Knowing that no matter what my issue is, there is always someone who is going through so much more.
Maybe this living the moment is meant to help you grow and receive insight. It will be hard but I'm going to try.
Thursday, May 12, 2016
BLOOD AND GLORY or Breakfast
Before I retired I warned my earlier deserters as they went out, ok danced out the door, to never grab the 7 a.m. or noon Doctors' appointments. We working people need those times because really who wants to waste vacation time on such mundane tasks. Well the surprise was all mine when I went to my early morning physical therapy appointments (scheduled by them, not me). 3/4 of the people waiting in the room were the gray hairs! Ok further investigation was warranted.
Apparently, as we age the ability to lounge around in bed until all hours goes away. Partially because we are usually not partying or sharing after work cocktails with friends and hitting the sack at a reasonable hour. Secondly, through my own experience, I find we don't sleep so well as various aches and pains raise their nasty little heads resulting in our being nudged out earlier and earlier. Or our digestive and urinary systems send urgent signals that "we are not going to make it all night kiddo". Big surprise. Then the ability to quickly fall back asleep are sabotaged by my second point-pain.
Ok so the point that the mature crowd is up and running before 7 is explainable. But then why does it take them until 9 or later to hit the restaurants for breakfast? I am required to fast before any blood work so by 7 or 8 in the am I'm hungry. Typical day for some retirees (discovered through interviews) may consist of: 6 to 8:30 or 9 just getting up and having some coffee; breakfast from 9 to 10:30 or so; putz around until 1 or so then lunch; which brings one up to the first early bird specials and happy hours on tap in various establishments; a little TV and bed. The days just fly by! I can always get to whatever chore tomorrow. Some complaints about never getting a holiday arise with no sympathy expected from the working crowd.
There is a bonus to be enjoyed however. By strolling into the lab this week at 8:30 or so I found the waiting room empty and a blood dude actually trolling for customers. "Can I empty some red cells for you Madam?" In and out, literally, in minutes five vials later which made me feel like I had donated enough blood for a Red Cross blood drive single-handedly. But of course that made us late for the 9 am rush at the local breakfast spot where the tables were filled with our retired brothers and sisters. And they eat very slowlllllyyyy. No matter we have all day.
Apparently, as we age the ability to lounge around in bed until all hours goes away. Partially because we are usually not partying or sharing after work cocktails with friends and hitting the sack at a reasonable hour. Secondly, through my own experience, I find we don't sleep so well as various aches and pains raise their nasty little heads resulting in our being nudged out earlier and earlier. Or our digestive and urinary systems send urgent signals that "we are not going to make it all night kiddo". Big surprise. Then the ability to quickly fall back asleep are sabotaged by my second point-pain.
Ok so the point that the mature crowd is up and running before 7 is explainable. But then why does it take them until 9 or later to hit the restaurants for breakfast? I am required to fast before any blood work so by 7 or 8 in the am I'm hungry. Typical day for some retirees (discovered through interviews) may consist of: 6 to 8:30 or 9 just getting up and having some coffee; breakfast from 9 to 10:30 or so; putz around until 1 or so then lunch; which brings one up to the first early bird specials and happy hours on tap in various establishments; a little TV and bed. The days just fly by! I can always get to whatever chore tomorrow. Some complaints about never getting a holiday arise with no sympathy expected from the working crowd.
There is a bonus to be enjoyed however. By strolling into the lab this week at 8:30 or so I found the waiting room empty and a blood dude actually trolling for customers. "Can I empty some red cells for you Madam?" In and out, literally, in minutes five vials later which made me feel like I had donated enough blood for a Red Cross blood drive single-handedly. But of course that made us late for the 9 am rush at the local breakfast spot where the tables were filled with our retired brothers and sisters. And they eat very slowlllllyyyy. No matter we have all day.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
CHAOS THAT IS LIFE
As I finished putting away the toy basket that my grandson had packed up before he left yesterday I was feeling satisfaction about the pristine carpet that emerged once his little boy chaos was packed away. I then looked around the room and threw away errant tissues, straightened an ottoman and stacked the unread newspapers just so. There were a few items that tend to accumulate in little places that strike irritation in my soul. Do I pick them up and put them away or just let them be as I know they are going to be used sometime later today.
Those who ever saw my office would be amazed that I seek any type of order in my personal chaos. My counters were constantly piled with unfinished or current projects that I dare not put away for fear of forgetting them. My files were stuffed with material, but rarely consulted. Perhaps that is why I would seek the small calm within the storm at home. I needed to see order in a least a few places that I inhabit. But at what cost?
As I pondered further this need to constantly pick up behind people and put things away that will probably be pulled out several times again I have to wonder if I am doing busy work because I'm bored or my inner soul needs to control my environment. Such obsessive behavior can be viewed as either a virtue, or just an anal personality. Perhaps the frustration that some things never get completed drives my need for that little oasis amid a desert of clutter. But at what cost?
Probing further, I realized that it is clutter, chaos, sheer messiness that indicates that others are in our lives; that projects will always emerge; that endings may never be final. I also realized that it means that love is in my life, people are around me, and there is always something waiting to be finished or made better. Sobering thought when I realize that a day may come when all stays neat but the action and movement that makes life worth living could disappear. So bring on the mess - I don't say I won't sigh or complain in frustration - but sometimes I hope I remember to smile because I understand what it signifies.
Those who ever saw my office would be amazed that I seek any type of order in my personal chaos. My counters were constantly piled with unfinished or current projects that I dare not put away for fear of forgetting them. My files were stuffed with material, but rarely consulted. Perhaps that is why I would seek the small calm within the storm at home. I needed to see order in a least a few places that I inhabit. But at what cost?
As I pondered further this need to constantly pick up behind people and put things away that will probably be pulled out several times again I have to wonder if I am doing busy work because I'm bored or my inner soul needs to control my environment. Such obsessive behavior can be viewed as either a virtue, or just an anal personality. Perhaps the frustration that some things never get completed drives my need for that little oasis amid a desert of clutter. But at what cost?
Probing further, I realized that it is clutter, chaos, sheer messiness that indicates that others are in our lives; that projects will always emerge; that endings may never be final. I also realized that it means that love is in my life, people are around me, and there is always something waiting to be finished or made better. Sobering thought when I realize that a day may come when all stays neat but the action and movement that makes life worth living could disappear. So bring on the mess - I don't say I won't sigh or complain in frustration - but sometimes I hope I remember to smile because I understand what it signifies.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
WHAT'S YOUR DEFENSE?
As a safety professional for many years, I admit I pound the drum for doing things in a manner that doesn't essentially kill people, often. I will also admit that I was not an early proponent of seat belts and defensive driving until I actually took a course. That of course, coupled with investigating accidents where injury could have been avoided with the use of both.
However, I have to admit that the hair on the back of my neck and other places tends to stay erect just driving around on daily errands and road trips. My imaginary brake (as a passenger) and both feet as a driver are engaged more frequently these days. Of course, we can blame technology such as cell phones, bad roads and more inexperienced drivers for the vehicular mayhem we enjoy today. I also did a large amount of driving in my job that allowed me to make observations. But let me just point out a couple of minor changes in behavior we can all can engage in that would lead to a safer roadway.
1) STAY OFF THE DANG PHONE! That goes for applying makeup, reading, gawking at interesting sights along the way, driving sleep-deprived or under the influence, engaging too frequently with passengers who say "look at this".
2) When observing someone entering the freeway - give them some room. The rules say the entering driver needs to adjust their speed to safely enter, but some self-absorbed road hogs figure "I got here first, so too bad". Drivers aren't sitting in that narrow strip on the side because they wanted a new lane.
3) Assume the person entering the freeway does not see you over in the left lane politely giving them room to enter. I can't count the number of times I have had someone entering and upon seeing a slow moving vehicle in the right lane continue to cross over into the left lane. There are the rules of absolute that state two objects cannot exist in the same space. Really.
4) Do not wait until the last possible moment to move over to take an exit or make a turn, effectively cutting off anyone already in the lane. If you did not preplan the maneuver or belatedly realized this was your turn don't jam in front of another vehicle (especially trucks who contrary to popular conception cannot stop on a dime). Go around or take the next exit. I would have been slaughtered in actually busy areas such as Chicago or Detroit if I tried darting across multiple lanes to make my turn at the last second.
5) One does not actually accumulate points driving faster and more recklessly than other drivers and extending a particular digit does not derive any significant changes in other drivers' behaviors as well. Though I will admit I have engaged the sideways phone hold option to hopefully scare an erratic driver to exit earlier rather than later.
6) Realize there are other people using the same road! Slow down or stop to mitigate a potential accident. Show patience in a busy situation or bubble wrap your steering wheel to keep your mind and hands busy and amuse yourself when you have to wait for traffic to clear. There is such a thing as being right and being "dead right".
7) Give motorcycles and pedestrians a wide berth. They sometimes disappear from view, stop suddenly or make unexpected turns and movements. Pedestrians especially know they have the right of way and doggone it, they're going to use it. Ahhh people pancake-very messy.
In a recent conversation with a State Police officer who performs accident re-constructions his statement was "Sometimes "0" miles an hour is the correct speed. Accident caused by inclement weather or inconsiderate other drivers is never an excuse for not driving safely and drivers will be cited. In the 194 car accident on I-94 that he investigated he showed a picture of a beautiful Porsche that managed to safely stop in the midst of the mayhem without sustaining a scratch.
I will happily bear the title of "old lady driver" if that is how you view me but the vehicle repair bills not realized or the injury or death I did not become a part of is fine with me. Something to think about. Respect for others is the key to, well most things in life.
However, I have to admit that the hair on the back of my neck and other places tends to stay erect just driving around on daily errands and road trips. My imaginary brake (as a passenger) and both feet as a driver are engaged more frequently these days. Of course, we can blame technology such as cell phones, bad roads and more inexperienced drivers for the vehicular mayhem we enjoy today. I also did a large amount of driving in my job that allowed me to make observations. But let me just point out a couple of minor changes in behavior we can all can engage in that would lead to a safer roadway.
1) STAY OFF THE DANG PHONE! That goes for applying makeup, reading, gawking at interesting sights along the way, driving sleep-deprived or under the influence, engaging too frequently with passengers who say "look at this".
2) When observing someone entering the freeway - give them some room. The rules say the entering driver needs to adjust their speed to safely enter, but some self-absorbed road hogs figure "I got here first, so too bad". Drivers aren't sitting in that narrow strip on the side because they wanted a new lane.
3) Assume the person entering the freeway does not see you over in the left lane politely giving them room to enter. I can't count the number of times I have had someone entering and upon seeing a slow moving vehicle in the right lane continue to cross over into the left lane. There are the rules of absolute that state two objects cannot exist in the same space. Really.
4) Do not wait until the last possible moment to move over to take an exit or make a turn, effectively cutting off anyone already in the lane. If you did not preplan the maneuver or belatedly realized this was your turn don't jam in front of another vehicle (especially trucks who contrary to popular conception cannot stop on a dime). Go around or take the next exit. I would have been slaughtered in actually busy areas such as Chicago or Detroit if I tried darting across multiple lanes to make my turn at the last second.
5) One does not actually accumulate points driving faster and more recklessly than other drivers and extending a particular digit does not derive any significant changes in other drivers' behaviors as well. Though I will admit I have engaged the sideways phone hold option to hopefully scare an erratic driver to exit earlier rather than later.
6) Realize there are other people using the same road! Slow down or stop to mitigate a potential accident. Show patience in a busy situation or bubble wrap your steering wheel to keep your mind and hands busy and amuse yourself when you have to wait for traffic to clear. There is such a thing as being right and being "dead right".
7) Give motorcycles and pedestrians a wide berth. They sometimes disappear from view, stop suddenly or make unexpected turns and movements. Pedestrians especially know they have the right of way and doggone it, they're going to use it. Ahhh people pancake-very messy.
In a recent conversation with a State Police officer who performs accident re-constructions his statement was "Sometimes "0" miles an hour is the correct speed. Accident caused by inclement weather or inconsiderate other drivers is never an excuse for not driving safely and drivers will be cited. In the 194 car accident on I-94 that he investigated he showed a picture of a beautiful Porsche that managed to safely stop in the midst of the mayhem without sustaining a scratch.
I will happily bear the title of "old lady driver" if that is how you view me but the vehicle repair bills not realized or the injury or death I did not become a part of is fine with me. Something to think about. Respect for others is the key to, well most things in life.
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