CHAOS THAT IS LIFE

As I finished putting away the toy basket that my grandson had packed up before he left yesterday I was feeling satisfaction about the pristine carpet that emerged once his little boy chaos was packed away.  I then looked around the room and threw away errant tissues, straightened an ottoman and stacked the unread newspapers just so.  There were a few items that tend to accumulate in little places that strike irritation in my soul.  Do I pick them up and put them away or just let them be as I know they are going to be used sometime later today.

Those who ever saw my office would be amazed that I seek any type of order in my personal chaos. My counters were constantly piled with unfinished or current projects that I dare not put away for fear of forgetting them. My files were stuffed with material, but rarely consulted. Perhaps that is why I would seek the small calm within the storm at home. I needed to see order in a least a few places that I inhabit. But at what cost?

As I pondered further this need to constantly pick up behind people and put things away that will probably be pulled out several times again I have to wonder if I am doing busy work because I'm bored or my inner soul needs to control my environment.  Such obsessive behavior can be viewed as either a virtue, or just an anal personality. Perhaps the frustration that some things never get completed drives my need for that little oasis amid a desert of clutter. But at what cost?

Probing further, I realized that it is clutter, chaos, sheer messiness that indicates that others are in our lives; that projects will always emerge; that endings may never be final.  I also realized that it means that love is in my life, people are around me, and there is always something waiting to be finished or made better.  Sobering thought when I realize that a day may come when all stays neat but the action and movement that makes life worth living could disappear.  So bring on the mess - I don't say I won't sigh or complain in frustration - but sometimes I hope I remember to smile because I understand what it signifies.