This Irish chapters will be sprinkled with jokes heard from the Irish cabaret we attended Sunday night. Jokes like "me Grandmother was so short her feet showed in her passport photo".
Sunday morning in Dublin, Ireland the land of 90% Catholics, and we were honored to attend the Church of Guinness at 10:00 am. Fascinating and apparently the Number 1 tourist attraction in Europe. History and beer - how can one go wrong? I shall remember it as the my first proper taste of the "black & white". After worship, I have definitely become a "believer". Guinness at 10:00 am, well it is Ireland after all. I followed that up with a whole pint at lunch, followed up by a nap... Actually I found myself "worshipping" every day the remainder of the trip.
At any rate Arthur Guinness was a canny lad. As he was being pooed pooed for his brewery plans, in 1759 he managed to rent the facility for IRL45 (45 Irish pounds) a year for 9,000 years. However, the lease is no longer in effect because the property has been bought when it expanded beyond the original four-acre site.
"Airline personnel - Has your suitcase been out of your sight? Well it's been in me attic for 15 years"
By the time we reached the "Gravity Bar" at the very top of the brewery, we were pretty much ready for more light refreshment as we enjoyed a 360 degree view of downtown Dublin. The old brewery building is technically a 7 story museum showing both the brewing process and advertising animals created by John Gilroy working off the tag line "Guinness is good for you".
I also had the pleasure of enjoying my first beef and Guinness pie. All things Guinness the rest of the trip. At the time I said if it doesn't taste like this in the States, I will be disappointed. (It doesn't).
"A friend talks another friend into trying Viagra. You'll feel like you're 20 again laddie. After a few weeks they met again and the friend asked him - did your try that Viagra. Well said his friend I did me boyo. Were there any side effects asked his friend? After a brief ponder the second man said, well only one-the Missus' headaches are back..."
Some other facts about Guinness is that it has to be chilled to 60 degrees to be perfect and it takes two minutes to settle in two stages; each time waiting for the bubbles to stop. I did perform homage by sporting the foam mustache proudly when I quaffed a pint.
Although I would never attend something like this normally, we did sign up for the Irish cabaret. Wall-to-wall tables and chairs loaded with a couple hundred people and only one exit that I could see. Tight quarters for attendees and performers whose stage is so small they actually dance on the tables! Lol. I think the wait staff was in on the idea as certain areas were surreptitiously cleared just ahead of the dancing feet. The Irish music, dancing and comedian were awesome. I am repeating some of the cleaner jokes, but you had to be there. We were laughing so hard we were crying. Plus I regaled some of the rest of the gang with the jokes in the days following. Still made us laugh.
"I was such an ugly baby the nurse slapped everyone in the delivery room. She yelled out 8 pounds and me Mater yelled back he's yours and I'll throw in the baby carriage. How ugly was I? Well for the longest time me parents thought I had bad breath and a cleft palate until they realized they'd been holding me upside down".
After our Guinness tour our Dublin guide James narrated our riding tour. Unfortunately his voice was lyrical and low and he lost a few of us after our "pint" at the end of the tour. However he did relate the circumstances around the rebellion of 1916 which led to the Irish Republic being formed. As history is yesterday there, 1916 is the same a 2017. He told of the brave men who were executed by the British and showed us their resting place-a monument honored by all. Their sacrifice triggered the rest of the country to take up arms and eventually win their freedom as a free and independent nation. Queen Elizabeth eventually visited, greeting the populace in their native Gaelic, thus burying the hatchet for centuries of persecution, for good.
James also showed us where the American counsel lives near a park with a gigantic cross erected for the visit by the Pope. 5,000 people thronged this area to see the Pope but I especially remember the fantastic ice cream vendor truck stationed nearby that provided us our late morning snack. Guinness and ice cream on a Sunday morning Tra la.
"So many of the travelers are honeymooners and me and the Missus are sitting to breakfast listening to all the billing and cooing. Pass the sugar, sugar; pass the honey, honey; care for a bun, bunny. Me wife looks at me and hollers pass the bacon you fat pig!"
To be continued....
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