JUST FOR FUN: OFFICE IN A CAN

 As I sit at my home desk darkly ruminating over and methodically deleting the myriad of useless emails I receive in a day, I got to thinking about all the folks who cannot get up and walk-away from their 7th online meeting of the day whenever they get bored. Although even I know the trick of covering my camera and doing a few quick stretches or making a necessary "john" run from the several Zoomies in which I have been involved. I think the other attendees know however, but as long as one doesn't "flush" too loudly no one says anything. 

In my first couple of Zoom-by-yas, I forgot the Grandfather clock sings out every 15 minutes and bongs out the time on the hour. I curse that clock, that often runs a minute or two slow, as it sounds at the very crux of a show I am watching. I stupidly yell at the clock as if it's going to stop half-way through nine bongs to accomodate my ire. I always, illogically turn up the volume as the clock is sounding but still have to go back (thank goodness for DVR) to replay the part I missed. Then I realize the volume is too high and have to turn it down. The whole scenerio of course plays out an hour later.

Anyway I was thinking about all those empty offices and what may or may not be happening to those items we left behind in the mad rush to evacuate. Office plants lying in brown smoking piles from lack of water; coffee machines growing cobwebs or possibly gossamer pools of penicillin happily glowing in the depths of forgotten left-over liquid (or is that only possible in bread); copier machines jamming helpessly on their own as the ink slowly dehydrates to the point of death; staplers and scissors, once vibrant contributors, now in despair over lack of human contact. 

On the flip side quite possibly the mice have finally taken the opportunity to set up cheese Import/Export businesses they've been wanting undisturbed by squeamish people. Though I suppose the auditors would notice the phone activity. No doubt any left-over food (candy, crackers, pot) has most certainly been demolished by the afore-mentioned rodents. I also would not want to be the first one to open the refrigerator in the break room, if and when, these offices are ever occupied again. In truth any office area occupied by more than one person results in a lottery of who can hold out the longest in cleaning up the "shared" spaces. I can't imagine cleaning was high on the list of "must dos" when the mass exodus occurred. 

Life is and will continue to be different. Wearing "real clothes" to the office will be a shock to the system and within days workers will be longing for the freedom of working from home....right, well some will. As usual we will forget the unpleasantness and awkwardness as we fire up the economic machine. Or perhaps employers will get a clue about traditional work spaces and realize a blend of work environments may be exactly the tonic to preserve efficiency, productivity and surprisingly, morale. Nine+ months at home should have taught us something.