CHRISTMAS STORIES

 I found two older essays I wrote that I will reproduce here relating to Christmas. As we grow older it is the memories that spark the candle around the holidays. The presence (not presents) or lack thereof that bring sadness and joy. Those who are with us, those who are gone. The empty chair and the new high chair. Life goes on....

Mother and Christmas --She died on September 30 and we buried her on October 4. The heart of our family was gone. We went on, lived our lives, worked our jobs, took care of our families. So we thought.That call that I used to enjoy in November on the anniversary of my birth was missing (note: my daughter did pick up the slack). I'm okay. We gathered that Christmas Eve laughing and feasting as we always did. Then the four sisters drew together compelled by some force that we could not explain. We talked, we laughed and then we cried. Cried for the one who was missing, cried when we realized that it was up to us to carry on the traditions, to bring the joy that she used to bring. She was weaker in the last few years, but the festivities still revolved around her wheelchair; her laughter, her strong opinions and her love for her family ringing out over the noise of the children. Our children grew close, worried and disturbed by our universal grief.  We knew she would not have wanted this. The eldest sister now became the heart and she suffered so much. So our children went out and adorned her car with the silliness of a Rudolph nose and antlers. We brought her out to see the Christmas lights and the spectacle of her car which now featured a face and a mood. The laughter rang out, the joy returned, and we all knew she was there orchestrating the celebration as she always did.

December Story -- as empty nesters after our daughter left for college and subsequently married, Christmas has settled into a warm, loving but toyless event with no Santa-infused surprises. With the birth of our first grandchild however, things changed. We now had permission to overindulge and the moon and stars were not out of the realm of possibility. Our 2 1/2 year old grandson Joseph had already discovered that Nana/Grandpa's house provided many happy surprises. Christmas 2014 was no exception as we watched his tentative explorations of wrapped packages. He remained unimpressed until we brought out the rocking horse. Now this was no ordinary horse. It was pint-sized so the fit was perfect. Joe quickly discovered the horse snorted, neighed and its tail flew out the harder you galloped so top speed became his only giggling mode threatening life and furniture. Afterwards the adults debated where the new horse would reside; Joe's house or Nana/Grandpa's. Eventually looking around we realized boy and horse were missing. Then we heard a noise in the kitchen. While we were otherwise engaged Joe had dragged that horse across the living room, through the kitchen and right up to the back door and was struggling to get the door open. In Joe's mind there was no debate; that horse was going home with him!

Those two would have thoroughly enjoyed each other....