POST WEDDING, CHAPTER 2

 

As my daughter says "it's the little (and big) snafus that occur that make one's wedding memorable" and we all want that!  My sister's celebration had it's share of challenges but it all went beautifully and everyone had a great time. First lttle glitch was when I was in the process of transporting the bride and matron of honor to their hair/makeup appointments in Grand Rapids when I had an unexpected shoe blowup.  Old sandals decided this was the opportune moment for the sole to come apart. Trying not to upset the proverbial apple cart for the ladies I surreptitiously shuffled to keep the remaining piece intact as I escorted them back to the car. So far so good - drop them off at the hotel and remove the offending foot cover. However, snafu number two interrrupted my plan.

As we entered Muskegon proper I got a frantic call from the OH, who along with the groom, were picking up the flowers. Though I gave them a detailed list of items in the order I neglected to note the four white roses for the memorial and, of course, that is what the floral shop forgot to pack! My shoe was becoming more and more contrary but I had to stop at the flower shop to assure the entire Memorial did not have to be scrapped. Comically, I shuffled into the store praying the barely there shoe would not give up the ghost entirely. Apparently my anxiety was evident (I blamed it on a nervous bride) as the owner immediately replaced the roses, no questions asked. Though I teased the ladies by saying "sure glad I keep my handgun handy on my belt"- dead silence. People will believe anything when stressed. I was happy to turn the bride over to big Sis K to dress and entertain until the big event.

By the time I got to the party room, decorating was proceeding nicely according to my schematics, the cupcake display was being set up and a podium was draped and ready for action. Good lots of time to finish up, get dressed and head back for a few moments of peace before I start the proceedings.  However, the photographer was at my elbow wanting to know where to set up and what shots I wanted, huh? What was further jarring is the fact that she said "I've never photographed people before". Those are words to ponder. Friend of the groom who was not terribly helpful at that point. Another funny thing. That evening there was a spectacular sunset out the windows that I wanted to frame the bridal couple in front of and was rounding up the photographer.  However, apparently everyone lives on the east side of the State and had never seen a sunset before as there was a massive stampede to the dock to take pictures. I feared for the bride making it in one piece down the steps so I bellowed for clearance so she could land first.  All the pictures people took were beautiful though.

As I was fussing so much with details and questions I barely had time to go back to the hotel and change, necessitating going back to the room twice for forgotten items. Again big Sis K took over the boutonnaire decorating on our nervous little ring bearer. With both hands full going back to the hall, I caught my high heel in a crack in the dock and almost took a header.  Thank goodness for all the walking I do.Though I was clumsily flailing to the amusement of the folks having dinner on the dock, a crash was avoided. 

The ceremony had its moments. Lined up and ready to go, we realized we were missing someone - the best man. I admit I ran out of tap dance routines trying to kill time before he showed. I actually asked the groom (who was sweating bullets) if he was going to be a no-show. I heard several theories on why he was late, but he got there and I led a thunderous round of applause to be sure he knew we knew. The ring bearer, my grandson, was so solemn coming down the aisle holding the box with the rings out in front of him. He had done research and rehearsed with Nana, so he was good to go, but very nervous. That moment was forgotten as he spent the rest of the evening on the dance floor leading the entertainment.

When it was time to light the unity candle, my little speech about the meaning went by-by as I was trying to be discreet in helping the trembling bride light her fire stick. The groom's burned out and had to be lit again to much hilarity. Then when both held their fires towards the middle candle, same issue so as soon as it caught, we went with it. After the "kiss for the ages" I introduced the couple as Marcia and Greg, last name unknown.  The bride had not made up her mind yet or at least let me know.

The final faux pas was totally mine. The two things my ministerial training emphasized was 1) be sure the bridal couple clearly state their intentions (the I do's) and 2) be sure the license is duly signed and witnessed. Well poop.  At 9:00 I realized I had not done number 2!  (see the intentional pun there?) Fortunately the best man was still there though "not feeling any pain".  I dragged him over and had him sign the license just in time as he left in the morning before the rest of us were up and around. Second close call the next morning with the Matron of Honor. I was going to wait until breakfast, but something told me to have her sign it before we left the hotel. Good thing as they got lost following our convoy to the restaurant and we never saw them again LOL. So I saved myself trips to Alabama and Indianapolis respectively. 

All and all a memorable day and unmistakably Marcie and Greg's unique wedding story.

PRE-POST WEDDING - CHAPTER 1 (Week of September 20)

 

PRE -WEDDING --Working on last minute details for the wedding. Did not know it was going to be that hard locating - red vase, fire lighters, 8 1/2"x 11" decorated letterhead and certificate holders which by the way so-called stationary stores (think Hallmark) do not know what a certificate holder, portfolio or business size letterhead are. I keep getting that "deer in the headlights" look this week. I also got the blank stare and total confusion at the bank when I asked for some blank check registers. Ok the people at these places are young, but come on. I am requesting "paper" at a stationary store and bank documents at a bank. The bank teller literally did not know what a checkbook was and thought I wanted a spreadsheet. Huh? Yes, I know that office supply stores have the "paper" but they always want to sell you a bundle rather than just one. I now have the bundle.

The fire lighters story is a whole other adventure. I needed something to light the unity candle with as I am utterly hopeless using those "lighter-thingees". I can light the outer candles (with matches), but the Bride and Groom need the long sticks to light the middle candle in a more elegant manner. The OH suggested a fireplace shop would have fire-lighters which they did.  But first I wanted to check out the "Rosary Shop" as I also was looking for a cross necklace.  The friendly proprietor said "Good news, I have the sticks. Bad news they come in boxes of 500." I said I would have to hustle up a heck of a lot more business. 

 His suggestion, though, was I liberate a couple from a church. Aside: in Catholic churches there is always a corner with candles that folks can light for a special intentions, with lighting sticks.  "What? Rip off a church".  He said no, no, make a donation. Oh yeah, they have little boxes with the candles for a good faith donation.  Long story short-St Gerards got a couple of bucks and I got my fire sticks (I did wear my mask to be a little more discreet-LOL). Another interesting happening at the Rosary shop after the proprietor ascertained what church I attended. His phone rang while I was there and, not making this up, it was the priest from my church! My little liberation plan was not divulged however. 

Scripts are written and rewritten as humorous ideas keep popping in my head but I am mindful of the 4:15 bar opening. My thought is, if I keep it interesting they will forgive any time overruns. Along with the polka DJ the VP of Brunswick is now attending so maybe a bowling reference is in order...

POST WEDDING -- Well we all suvived the wedding and Mr and Mrs Schmeling are an established unit though it was touch and go for awhile. Not sure I can report it all without writing a book, so I will relay a couple of thoughts and continue on next week's blog. It's been a long weekend and I am very behind on my step count not to mention feeling all of my 69 years.  Suffice it to say, I was not only minister but also dubbed wedding planner, which meant all questions and actions fell on my head. Others helped. Music was thankfully in the capable hands of my son-in-law, the cupcake table was magnificent, Sister K took care of the bride after I delivered her coiffed and beautiful, the OH and daughter relayed my orders calmly; but the crown of responsibility weighs heavy - LOL. My five minutes of quiet time to prep my thoughts for the service went by the wayside as I ended up having to tap-dance  and improvise for 10 minutes due to a snafu with a key player.

Quick thoughts --- lovely, touching, frantic, heartfelt, oopsie moments and a whole lotta' shakin' going on. With no microphone I had to actually SPEAK UP which shocked the OH as he is always saying "What?" & claiming I mumble-not Saturday however. Several people danced their shoes off, literally and grown up people were following my grandson Joe's dance move directions -see pic.

 

In my "little" speech for the couple I mentioned all marriages are different and the rules are written for and by that couple regardless of what the rest of the world says. For instance going to bed angry IS an option so you can get enough sleep to continue the argument or.... make up. I advised the bride to throw a frozen burrito in the microwave & make dinner once in a while and to the groom I said everytime we are talking to our sister it is not all about him, well sometimes.

For some reason people totally missed the table RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR that held the guest book and the elaborate programs I had put together.  I don't know about you, but I like a playbook at an event so I can get the gist of how long and how many pieces and parts are in play before it's over.

The memorial for the parents (thanks for the idea Sue W) went very well, with a few minor "oh snaps" . I think I managed both respect and humor in memory of the Sweet and Schmeling families. My daughter lit the candles to invite them into the celebration and grandsons came up as a name was read and a little anecdote was shared for each. No tears as we are about to celebrate a wedding! I think we hit the right note.

Coming attractions -- shoe failure, missing flowers, best man snafu, cutest ring-bearer, unity candle miscalculations, fun with photos, near disaster on the dock, name game, license challenge. Hopefully you can't wait until I explain all that. I always say it's the flaws that make the wedding and also the best and most unique memories-we had our share.

Notwithstanding the importance of the bride and groom at the event, Joe turned out to be the belle of the ball nixing heading back to video games at the hotel with the other kids to hanging out with, and dancing with, all the ladies. He's going to be trouble....

WEDDING WACKIES (Week of Sept. 13)

 Since my sister and her fiance do not read my blog, I may just put some of the adventures we have had prepping for their wedding. First these two should have already celebrated their first anniversary last May, but covid had other plans.  The second date a year later met a similar fate.  So September 25th has been locked in and we're betting that 3rd time's a charm.  I fully expect something will happen but that's the fun of a wedding. The B&G have already informed me if there is further snafu-dom they will appear at my doorstep rings and intentions in hand. 

The dress I originally "gifted" the bride with did not survive lockdown and we were without a proper gown three weeks out from the nuptials! Being mature we resorted to the "any port in a storm" philosophy and Big Sis came up with a beautiful gown from a "Mother of the Bride/Groom" event.  Something borrowed right? Then I had the wedding bouquet wrapped in the lace from my original 50-year old wedding veil - something old (besides the groom -lol). New shoes and jewelry take care of number 3 and if there are any more issues, we will all be floating in the "blues". Bases covered. 

Of course it was not without drama as the dress could not be "dry-cleaned" but they could supposedly very delicately wet-clean it. Long story short, it did not come out cleaner and they managed to mangle the sparkly brooch on the skirt. But they insisted on being paid. Follow-up. When I took my dress for the wedding to be cleaned-nothing elaborate, just knit and some lace, they wanted me to sign a waiver in case they destroyed it. Wow I am not sure which is worse. Clothing that cannot ever be cleaned or cleaners who do not know how to clean clothes. Does everyone just throw away their stuff after they wear it?

As the officiant for the wedding I am finally putting together my remarks and "Game Plan" for the event.  Had a year and half to percolate, so a snap right?  Well my only directions from the B&G were non-religious and party starts at 4:15.  Oh yeah and try to throw something in there as a memorial to our  parents who have passed on.. Right-no prob. The urge to wax poetic and roast the couple is fighting the urge to get through this before another disaster strikes, or the bar opens.  The flower order and reception site have been arranged and rearranged several times and I am still thinking of last-minute issues. But with my many years of experience planning events, I know most of it works out, people don't remember what did or did not happen (especially the wedding couple) and once the party starts its all over but the memories. Oh yes, I hear the polka DJ from IHeart radio in GR will be attending so there will be a certain amount of Oom-pah pahing going on. 

On another subject, bought a new powered recliner for the lake a couple of weeks ago and needed to get rid of the old chair. Fortunately our little Orangeville township takes furniture at the transfer station twice a month. I called and found they charge $15 for a chair. 

Getting there is quite an adventure. The township hall has a huge parking area and also ball fields and humungous open space. However. The road to the dump is one-way, unpaved and tightly forested. What do you think most people are bringing to the dump? Trailers... on a one-way road...with thick forests surrounding it.  Not to mention we went down the wrong road and turned around until we met someone coming down the road who said no that's right, just keep going. After turning around and going back we met the same people who said "No, sorry, wrong road" forcing another turn-around on a very narrow road. Going down the right road we were following a truck and trailer and arrived at an open spot in the woods with no turn-around. Arrghhh. Fortunately the Goliath-sized helper just picked up the chair (that we had sweated and grunted up a ramp into the truck) and tossed it on the ground-done.  

The other grizzled dude running the show turned away and I stupidly said "I understand it's $15 to dump furniture". He grunted assent and kept his head turned as I shoved the cash into his hand.  Slapping my head later as we picked our way through the tight road back I realized nobody at the township is actually going to get my "fee".  Oh well.

Short blog today as I mentally write and rewrite the program and remarks for Saturday.....no worries.

FREEDOM, 9/11 (Week of Sept. 6)

 

Watching some of the 20th anniversary memorials for 9/11 takes me right back to that day. I imagine it is the same for all of us. Certain historical events mark us; each one removing some of the innocence and naivete we were born with and replacing it with fear. Kennedy's assasination in junior high where my memories include: my science teacher vaulting over his desk to rush to the door; high schoolers crying in the hallways; the constant television coverage and Jack Ruby's shooting of Oswald. 

On 9/11/01, I was monitoring a MIOSHA grantee class at Eastern Michigan University when people told us to come into the office to watch it unfold onscreen. I remember  calling my daughter at college and my husband fishing with his parents just to be sure things were the same in my family and then seeing the faces of the young ROTC students in the same building walking around showing a  mixture of shell-shock and determination. Watching the video of the second plane as it approaches the tower still makes me catch my breath in choked anticipation.

Coming together as a nation is something we do as Americans when the threat is external. Too bad we can't show the same compassion for other divisive internal issues. Knowledge that "terrorists" do not follow the rules of war, that most nation-states do, has led to over-reach sometimes for the sake of security. Freedom is not free as the saying goes and one has to decide whether security is worth the restrictions and lack of privacy. 

But then again "certain" people have no problem invading privacy and restricting the freedom of others for their own personal agenda. Talking to you Gov. Abbot (Texas). As you claim you will eliminate the need for abortion in the case of rape by eliminating rapes I have to ask "is dementia a new thing for you"? Since we usually do not hold any of the "fathers" accountable for their actions,  however, how is it anyone's business besides the woman? How clever to let the "citizens" narc on their neighbors for a big payoff.

I am no constitutional expert but I find it strange that some of the "Supremies" are willing to sit on their black- robed hands when a State blatantly passes laws that are contrary to the law of the land. To place it in perspective, suppose California passed a law that it was illegal to attend church and the atheists had full authority to catch and prosecute any they believed had offended the ban.  Oh yes, and offer a bounty for every successful "catch".  The "Supremies" would roll out objections at Bugatti-like speed to stop infringement on the guaranteed freedom to worship. All this Texas law will do is drive women into dangerous situations and bankrupt taxi drivers, nurses and medical facility clerks. But I suppose attacking a pregnant woman directly would have been too obvious.

 How ironic that the anti-vaxers do not see their own hypocrisy posting signs "My body My Choice".  Where is the same passion for sex education, birth control, support for single Mothers, or for that matter gun control, as children keep getting attacked and killed in schools. But it works as a rallying cry for the unscrupulous. An interesting and obvious statistic; States that have strong sex education programs in the schools have fewer abortions.  Duh. Keep them dumb and defenseless apparently; and condemn those who ask for help as immoral and lazy.

Changing gears. As we nibbled on left-overs from our big party last weekend we contemplated on whether these were snacks or a meal? As my grandson has pointed out there is a difference especially when I tried to count the amount and variety of all the snacks he had the other day really consituted a lunch. He vehemently objected. Apparently there is a protocol. Not sure if one has to be sitting down or the deciding factor is quantity consumed at one sitting.  No matter-he knows. 

Apropos of nothing I came across a book signed by the author that I received several years ago.  The lady worked for me at one point and was an excellent scientist but rather rigid. Compromise was not her long suit. She actually asked me to review the manuscript and make comments before she turned it over to her publisher. It was very good utilizing her police/firefighter background with a murder mystery and a smattering of mysticism. Though I remember being surprised that her protagonist was a lesbian and the love interest was with another woman. No big deal but I mentioned it to my supervisor and our media specialist as we were driving to an assignment and they both roared.  Didn't you realize C---- was gay? No not really.  She was into the occult which I found fascinating, but guess I am not only color-blind but gender neutral as well.  LOL.  Her marriage to a lady a few years ago was my final clue.

New quest/project. In debating whether to install a "one plug fits all" solution to our increasingly more frequent power blips, or installing the magical Generac we invited an electrician to discuss options. The all-inclusive magic machine was my preference until we got the estimate.  Not only was it way over my elusive economic comfort zone, but it did not even include hiring an HVAC person to run a line and another big chunk for Consumers to put in a new meter. That new generator and "one plug" option seems to have obtained number one status. Either way I won't have to cringe every time bad weather is predicted or trees decide they are done supporting themselves and/or Consumers finally replaces aging equipment.

Resting on my podcast "laurels" at the moment with three in the can. Oddly enough the one scheduled for next week is "Planning for Emergencies: Are You Prepared?". I had not thought of the 9/11 anniversary until after I approved the next offering which actually uses information about the World Trade Center and how many people survived due to pre-planning. 

Meeting with the prospective bride and groom to go over all the fun things I am planning for the wedding...again.  Other inevitable bridal emergencies being handled by Big Sis but fingers crossed third time's the charm.  Though I am fully expecting a surprise bolt of lightening at the moment of truth. "It's electrifying" as they sing in the movie Grease-just adds to the day!

Compliments  to President Bush and his 9/11 speech yesterday. He rightfully called out and condemned the January 6 mob as domestic terrorists and of course he is being villified for it. When even a Republican ex-president can see the blatant attack on our democracy for what it is, these deniers need to take a long, long look in the mirror....and at their hero... 

ANNIVERSARY WEEK (AUG.29-SEPT 5)

Fifty years married September 4.  What adventures, fun, laughter, heartaches, fears, triumphs and history have transpired. Though I do remember early on thinking I would still be under 70 if such a feat was achieved.  Sorting pictures I came across a couple generations of 50 year anniversaries-who are these old people? Must be the enriched bread we get these days. It is not my imagination as the young man blowing up balloons for our party congratulated us and said we didn't look like it could be 50 years. Upon asking us how old we were when we got married (how rude) I said straight-faced,"12 and 14". Not a muscle moved on his face. I followed up with "we're from Arkansas". Sweat was beading up on his forehead as he struggled to come up with a noncommittal remark.   Taking pity, I finally admitted, we were in college. His sigh conveyed all that was going through his mind. 

This blog entry is going to take a different tack. No learning or politics involved.

Memory is a funny thing. Something you swear you will remember forever disappears and only the growth, wisdom and empathy remains from the experience if you're lucky. I think it is like a kaleidoscope of sound and color totally unrelated to reality. When retelling our engagement story this weekend of having a stupid fight in the car over "who knows" he said "let's just get married". The groom immediately protested saying "No, I asked you at your Mother's house".  Waaa? 50 years and 1 day later and I never knew "the rest of the story".  Knowing him so well, I believe he said he wanted to wait to tell my folks until after he had a ring, so that is his memory-nicer one too. 

My Father told me after my Mother passed that she always felt she had forced us to marry sooner than we wanted. Both in college, engaged at the tender age of 19 (me), we had time. But they were moving out of State. I never saw it that way. It was just a way for us to be together and any wedding we could put together was perfect.  Good thing as I pulled it off in 3 months - which was an early indication of my talent for putting projects together. BWL festival, City picnic for 3,000, Suggestion program, City Loan Program, Drug and Alcohol Testing and Hepatitis Vaccination protocols, MIOSHA Training Institute. Researching and financing a lake house, podcasts  LOL. But it bothers me that she had regretted our rapid deployment. I am glad she was around long enough to see our 25th and 35th wedding anniversaries.  (Yes, thank you big Sis Kathleen for introducing us)

The honeymoon was short for a few reasons- no time, no money and dragging our busted tailpipe on our way to Kalamazoo.  Funny thing about champagne. If you shake the vehicle enough the cork pops. Second discovery-it turns to jelly which can be easily scraped off the ceiling-life lessons! We had just time to hit the State Fair (Labor Day weekend) and search for somebody to fix our tailpipe using what money we could scrounge out of wedding envelopes. Our second day we picked up used furniture and brought it to our "upstairs mansion" in Lansing. Fun times which is why getting married young is a good idea-it's all a hilarious adventure.

For our 50th the plan was a small dinner party for close friends and relatives that we didn't have to cook or clean up after..... Well 60 people later, a "few" decorations, a taco bar (Burt's suggestion reminiscent of our wedding reception), beer and wine.. lots of wine at a local reception venue and it was on.  Everyone seemed to have a great time and we adjourned to the house for an eclectic keilbasa and potato salad repast and wine...lots of wine. I'm sensing a theme here especially since our party favors were little heart-shaped wine stoppers, though one guest asked "what is this left-over wine you speak of?" Do I know my crowd or what?

A lot happens in 50  years personally, professionally, in the world, but the things that are the most important are tattooed indelibly on our hearts. As a person who tends to be early our daughter timed her arrival two days ahead on the night of a dinner and cocktail party for Burt's staff as I merrily dropped "water" during the end of the evening. I smilingly telegraphed "these people need to bogey or they'll all be signing the birth certificate". Fun surprise when he went to work Monday with pics of the newborn.

 The passing of our parents in their own time and place and the final images and words spoken. The passing of my brother who, though charming, witty, handsome and an amazing musician to the world, but fighting demons that those outside of our immediate circle ever knew about or could understand. Hearing him say "I forgive you" in his final days as I mouthed "I forgive you too". I only hope he found the peace he never felt when he was alive.

Her father's face and her tight squeeze on his arm as he walked our girl down the aisle. The excitement around the birth of my grandson when the text came "It's go time" from the prospective father. A long day of waiting and watching and then actually helping with the birth and cutting the cord. This amazing little person, whose birth I could actually watch. (they put mirror down there for the laboring Mom to watch-yeah right). 

Our banner read "Cheers to the First Fifty Years" so I trust there is more to come. The first drink at the party went to the grandson (Shirley Temple) who proceded to entertain the audience and even whipped up an impromptu commercial for our host after interviewing her about her business. If he's like this at nine...look out world.