THE ODD, THE HIDDEN AND THE INSPIRING (February 21)

THOUGHT OF THE DAY It may be true that the cream rises to the top but apparently turds can float up there too. Heard a version of that this week and it fits so many situations.

POMPITOUS. Was reminded of Steve Miller's much better use of the word pompatus which in the Joker song he spells with an i as in "pompitous of love". Which essentially means anything you want it to mean. Like I am so pompitous about my promotion. Or did you see that pompitous new show? Doesn't that remind you of a pompitous of division? Or even, art is in the eye of the pompitous critic.

One of the advantages of being the "safety skate" is you get access to areas that most never see. Some of them are pretty bad and some of them can be marvelous. Only caveats are employees have access to it and you have to accept the invitation without squeamishness. (Shed the high heels for work boots and gloves are always your friend). Places like the top of the power plant at sunrise; a lead-filled shooting range poisoning a basement; the intricate architecture of an 1800's well house; (so many old, unused rooms) a battery of 50 bus sections on a floor where any one of them could "blow" at any time under load; a conveyor belt access path smaller than a man's foot. But one of the best was the basement of the water pump station. 

PICTURE THIS A lone night operator, Charlie, created the most sumptuous folk art rarely seen by any but a select few who dared to venture into the labyrinth of piping encircling the massive snow pump. I still don't know if snow pump was the manufacturer or just what they called the gleaming white beast that only the most skilled could keep purring.  Comic book characters, cartoons, graffiti and graphic portraits abound. As the plant was decommissioned some of the walls were destroyed in the name of progress and efficiency leaving this trove of artistry even more mysterious and whose existence today is known only to a few. My theory is we lacked the skill of these 40-year maintenance mechanics and boiler operators who could fix anything with a little bit of wire and a vast knowledge of how the old machines work. Ironically the "public" area of the plant sports portraits by Charles Pollack (older brother of Jackson) and Frank Cassara showing both the bounty and the destruction of water. But most never know of the treasure that lies below...

JOEISMS It's a boy! My Girl Scout cookie treasure trove was delivered by the young lady I purchased them from. All Grandpa had to say was there's a girl scout on the porch and Joe popped up from his latest video battle to check her out. He asked me if I thought she was his age. Hmmm. 

With the mask mandate on hold (again) I asked JP how he felt about not having to wear a mask. His very heartfelt answer "Good. Now I don't have to keep hearing people say, "pull up your mask"! Honest.

SUNFLOWERS Try as I might I don't think we can ignore the elephant in the room, or in this case, the insidious evil bear. With all that we are seeing, feeling and thinking about Ukraine right now one image is stuck in my brain among so many that are painful, sad and shocking. An 80-year-old Ukrainian man showed up to enlist for the army with a bag packed with 2 shirts, a pair of pants, a toothbrush and a few sandwiches ready to fight for his grandkids. With our sometimes-cavalier attitude toward our own democracy, we need to look hard and remember how fragile our own liberty is if too many continue to be dazzled with autocracy. The separatists may have invited them in, but the real Ukrainians are fighting for their country. Bless them.  Peace is for those who fight for it....

JURY TIME & 3RD GRADE ANGST (February 14)

 "Sometimes the spray is so strong I think it's going to blow me off the toilet". 

COURTING CANDY. Got my call to Federal Court jury duty and that was part of a scintillating conversation the jurors were having on one of our breaks. As we were cautioned not to discuss the case until it was turned over for deliberations, fourteen people tend to travel down varied and exotic conversational trails. I am not sure what preceded the statement, but I immediately wrote it down. Oh yes, we were talking about a do-it-yourself install of a bidet. Apparently, you engage reusable wiping cloths after the deed or just drip dry. It wasn't clear about that. 

To eliminate suspense - we knew he was a scumbag, but we found him "not guilty" anyway. It was only a one-day trial as no witnesses were put on by the defense including the defendant. However, the prosecution did not do their job in providing any documents, video or paperwork to back up the claims made by the po-po and ATF to corroborate "he said". Yep. They presented a lot of evidence showing he was a legitimate scumbag with multiple arrests and incarcerations, but just knowing one is a scumbag does not eliminate the need for, what do you call it, evidence. I wanted to tell the smiling (eyes only with mask) defense attorney "hope he's got you on a retainer" because this dude is going to "f" up again real soon - caught a break. The expression on the prosecuting attorney's face (eye guess again) however, was very puzzled. I wonder if she attended the same trial we did. 

No pictures of the gun and illegal ammo where it was found (not taken); no video of the arrest and statements made (not kept). As an ex-personnel director, not even having the piece of paper "that the defendant signed" proving he understood he was a SB (felon) and guns and ammo are not to be found in his immediate vicinity was the clincher. HR people live and die by signed forms. Quite a bit of testimony ensued resulting in the belief that the ammo was purchased out of State and brought in.  News to me that you can only buy Michigan ammo in Michigan? Anyway, I missed part of the ATF's monotone explanation of why it was a federal crime as I realized I was picturing my grandmother's house and went "oh Shi---" I'm asleep.  I quickly covered (I hope) by jotting a note on my notepad. Not sure if that constitutes a mistrial but the lady next to me said she didn't notice which is a miracle in itself as I tend to jerk/snort as I'm falling asleep in an upright position on a chair or in a car, etc.  Comfy chairs and a whole "lotta sitting" going on all day.

 They don't give you lunch, but they do pay you mileage, parking and $50; and I wasn't doing anything important anyway that day except finishing and submitting my taxes... But I'm glad I had the opportunity and I have to admit the system works. The judge came in to talk with us afterwards and to answer any questions. She said she always tells young lawyers not to be too cocky when they think they have the case in the bag. They may know all the facts as they eat it, drink it and lose sleep over it, but the jury will surprise you. We can only react to what we hear in the courtroom and boy do they make that point over and over and over. This one lady begged to be the foreperson because I think she wanted to be the "Law and Order" person who gets to read the verdict, so I tried to be more subtle in controlling the group as we held discussions, lol. We had 8 for not guilty and 4 for guilty (has to be unanimous in a felony). We all got there, and no one cried so that's a good day.

In the voir dire (questions from judge & attorneys) one potential juror said she just moved here from New York, and she not only was a victim of a crime/s but she hated the police. Thank you Ma'am, you're excused. Way to get on with your day quickly. Some working people probably were cussing they didn't think of that.

JOEISM & DEJA VU Though we haven't heard actual particulars around the move, Joe had an interesting story to tell us on his snow day this week (seems like they're coming every week). He said his teacher moved the classroom desks around to create three sides of a square with his desk smack in the middle - no partners as he put it. To a person (shame on us) we said, "was it because you are talking too much?" I'm sure there is more to the story, but we all know our social butterfly who is the one who gets busted as he does not know how to whisper. I told him when I was in 3rd grade there were not enough desks, so I had to sit at one right next to the teacher facing the class. She would often have me read to the class when she was busy. Not a talker in grammar school (I know, right?) I did get in trouble once in that class as I liked to "slip into" the teacher's chair to the great amusement of the class. Not funny apparently. Punishment was sitting out in the hall for a few minutes praying no one you know sees you at the "wall of shame". Kind of like when you get stopped by the police for a traffic violation with all the spinning lights heralding your fall from grace.

All and all not a bad week after finally nailing down my panel for my Sunday podcast. Hope I remember how to do this. The performance anxiety kicking in seems about right so.. Peace out..... 

JUMPS & FIRE (February 7, 2022)

THE OLYMPICS have had their share of drama with China's covid restrictions, the latest Russian drug scandal (of course they are not really there-banned you know), favorites failing to medal, a hockey team of amateurs taking down Goliath, real snow screwing up the artificial snow course, complementary condoms, monotonous food and robot bartenders, half-naked Samoan. However, my favorite is the accusation that six female skiers were actually....wait for it... flying squirrels!  

Apparently, the same ensemble they had been wearing in practice were suddenly deemed "too billowy" when the actual competition began. Right. Was this an attempt to stifle women's downhill or a pathetic bid to not outshine the guys or the host country (I guess 110 pounds can really "fly" when going downhill with 2 extra ounces of material). When I remember the olden days of skiing outfits, it is laughable. And for us weekend skiers a pair of old jeans and a winter coat sufficed as aerodynamics was not a thing particularly

POLITICAL SATIRE So now I know where the orange one's complaint about multiple flushes of modern commodes came from. In one of the sillier news stories of the week, apparently "filing" papers down the toilet takes more than one swirlie. Reminiscent of "every" cop show where the perps frantically flush their stash down the potty. Interesting how many words there are for the "place whereof we empty". Can you imagine the conversations? "Where did that sheet marked Top Secret go" "Why is this paper yellowing (or browning) so soon?" "Maintenance - trouble in flush city". Boggles the mind, though in keeping with his M.O., I doubt the Chief would claim any relationship or responsibility to busted flushers. 

Never fear. Though inflation is rampant, meat packers (300%), car dealers, retailers, health insurers, financial and communications entities and oil companies are making record profits (i.e.NPR, etc.) The extra is going for higher wages and benefits.....for the CEO.

SWITCHING GEARS. Heard a news report about several firefighters injured in a house fire backdraft (which occurs when oxygen is exhausted and someone opens a door or window resulting in an explosion). Reminded me of a contentious conversation I experienced when performing supervisory training with Fire Officers about the inability to predict some hazardous situations during a fire. Rather at a loss as pre-planning and prevention are hallmarks of my profession. There is a reason why most of us are running "away" from a fire.

Though I never rode down the pole at the fire station (I was tempted) I did ride in the back of a fire truck and inside a few ambulances during my tenure.  Donning turn-out gear and entering after the fire is out, I was amazed at how long heat is held in the structure after the fire is extinguished which explains why they stay around so long drinking coffee after a fire is supposedly out.  I was also present at enough house fires to learn: 1) there is a very distinct odor when manufactured items (plastics, insulation) are burning compared to a straight wood fire that you never forget; and 2) a picture frame backing of cardboard can keep a fire from burning the wall behind it.  

In another learning opportunity I found that adrenaline actually has a major impact on one's psyche in an emergency situation regardless of training. The folks there wanted me to research the possibility of a blow-out plug that could be pulled loose without harming the wall outlet. Asking why, they pointed out how they wrapped the electrical cord around the steering wheel of the ambulance to charge the equipment between runs. Ok. As there had been damaged plug and outlet on more than one occasion they believed they needed a backup plan. Which made me wonder if not noticing a wad of electrical cord wound around your steering wheel could also affect one's motor skills when driving to an emergency. Firefighters are a special breed, bless 'em, and it takes a special mindset. Of that I am convinced. 

JOE-ISM. Unexpected snow day Friday, so when things cleared up we asked if the boy wanted to go sledding. As he left his snow pants and boots at school we reverted to bowling. When asked why he left his stuff at school he said "it's not logical to carry them back and forth" says the boy who gets dropped off and picked up. 

As anticipated, my jury summons came through for next week, so we shall see what we shall see if disagreement with a verdict produces the same outcry as not liking the outcome of an election.       Peace out and justice for all....

Mr  & Mrs Cardinal out for Valentine's Dinner

                                            

DRIVING GROUND HOGS (January 31)

GROUND UP: Old Punxsutawney Phil has been all up in the news pontificating and publishing his predictions for the progression of winter. As usual he erred on the six weeks more side. Otherwise, it would only be another month and a half until Spring. Good to know.  His ex-wife Phyllis calls him a prolific liar, however. 

We were discussing "cars I have owned" over the years. Oddly we have gone from Impala to Impala.

 DIGRESS:  Isn't there something with the Catholics that if a new pope picks the name Peter it will be the end of the line? First and last, or something like that. Knowing that what would behoove anyone to choose Peter as their papal name?

DRIVING: Back to the cars; the first Impala cost $1975 (complete with a monthly payment book) and the latest more in the $30,000 range (equity loan). Our first car was a used Chevy Belair "gifted" to us or maybe they just didn't want it back. That was the one we wired a tomato can to as we saved up money for a new muffler. Works quite well actually. And then when the battery sputtered its last it opened up a whole new world of cost cutting. Thanks to the erratic Belair, however, I credit it with teaching me how to open the hood and add transmission fluid-always carried a can or two in the trunk. And the two flat tires I ever experienced were changed by "the kindness of strangers" even though I was game to give it a whirl after a crash course from the OH/BF. 

The first car I ever picked out and bought "for me" was a Mercury Comet-baby blue with shag carpeting and bucket seats-sweet! As mentioned before she was an 8-banger and would coast at 40 mph before applying the accelerator. Then there was a Cutlass wagon, Delta 88, Lincoln Town car, Ford truck, Cutlass Cierra (ugliest car ever) and couple of Buicks. Silvarado and Impala are the current garage squatters. But my A-1 favorite car was the Buick Riviera. So beautiful and fast as a banana peel on roller skates. Not that it was important of course, just good to know. 

My one and only stick shift was ahem, a foreign job that was ugly, cheap, utilitarian and expensive to fix. That was a short-lived experiment never to be repeated. Got $3000 for her from some of its countrymen who wanted cheap, utilitarian, etc. in a car they could identify with apparently.  Dealer only offered $100.  The OH was my patient teacher around a school yard as I tried to avoid that awful clutch/accelerator screech when I got it wrong. Good practice for when he performed the same service for our 15-year-old. She took her test in my "Rivie" handicapped as one cannot see out the sloped back window, but she managed to pass the parallel parking part regardless. Though I don't miss a stick, it does feel like you're really driving when you have to anticipate gear changes and negotiate hills. I think today's cars actually have a voice admonishing you on a bonehead driving move with a "I'll just handle this ok?" Fine, back to my book then. 

MISCELLANEOUS:  1) Basically, the loser admitted that he knew his claim was bogus and he was trying to overthrow the election "he (Pence) could have overthrown the election". Out loud...repetitively. Where are the handcuffs? Asking for a friend. 2) For the first time since 1900 deaths exceeded births in Michigan which may have a long-term impact on the vitality of the State. We need to get busy getting busy or find a way to attract and hold young child-bearing folks in the Mitten. 

Having the grandson overnight leads to interesting segues of what gets discussed or how far afield topics skew. At any rate he kept singing the old Three Dog Night song (incorrectly) "One is the Loneliest Number" which prompted a google look-up of lyrics. Some of which I had been singing wrong for years as well. But it took me right back to the paper route-running days with Mom when she would allow me an hour of my music (she did like, or could tolerate, 3-Dog, Beatles and Bread) and then the remainder of the time we would listen to old Bill Cosby comedy records.  Is there a hero out there without the proverbial feet of clay? Peace Out....