I know it's been awhile. After five weeks of sorting, cleaning, phone calls, banks, lawyers, courts, realtors we finally caught a break. I now know the "dump" people by their first names and have discovered just what second hand shops and recycling centers will actually accept when one is disposing of a lifetime. So true, "you can't take it with you" and "dust to dust". Lots and lots and lots of dust. Through the course of this undertaking I caught the worst virus in my life culminating with a ruptured eardrum. However, when one lays on the "good ear" the compromised eardrum stifles any extraneous noise and helps with shuteye, when I was unstressed enough to get any shuteye.
I learned the intricacies and inefficiencies of government and the Veterans Administration in this journey. Not that I was surprised at it, of course, but I have sympathy for those who have neither the patience or ability to persevere against all odds and extreme "hold" times. I found multi-tasking and speaker phone a great way to wait out the inevitable "your call is important to us, bla bla bla". Hold times are inevitably followed by "you need to call this department and/or these six other numbers". As I could not hear out of one ear and suffered a record two weeks of laryangitis, compliments of the ear infection, speaker phone was also my friend. I had to draw the line at foreign operators. It was just too difficult to decipher when one's hearing is compromised. Which led to callbacks and fingers crossed in hopes of a straight mid-western accent. Even a southern twang was difficult. I will say though, each operator made a point of expressing sympathy for my loss.
Also any issue I was able to resolve ala telephone was later followed up by requesting the same information in writing, sometimes followed by another phone call verifying they received the information verifying the information that was provided originally by phone. You follow? However through my prompt diligence I was able to snag several small refunds which were sorely needed for the Estate fund (funded by us) to pay bills. Another fun rule, credit unions/banks do not give one access to the deceased person's bank account even though the court-appointed rep (the OH) was required to give an accounting of assets and liabilities. Funny how that works.
Insurance companies, and a niece with special needs and desires, were their own private nightmares. I now understand why one hires a lawyer to collect after a vehicle mishap. The insurance goal is to keep providing hoops for one to catapult through before dispensing anything of value. Constant bombardment through phone calls and letters eventually breaks through the reinforced walls. I think; jury is still out. Though our lawyer told me we are moving at "lightning speed". To which I retorted, "because it's my money being spent!"
After spending three solid days in ICU and after dropping off the niece to "recover" I guess, us old people spent the next several hours cleaning in a massive "person-hunt" for pertinent papers. An almost useless task as things turned out. The joy of finding a locked mini-safe did not yield the treasured paperwork sought. (I should have guessed from the layer of dust on it) Instead it contained ancient and useless documents; interesting but of no particular assistance. Imagine trying to re-create a person's entire financial past-present-future from bits, pieces and conjecture essentially.
One interesting story from that night still has us bemused. I'll preface it by saying several months after my Mother passed I was feeling particularly sad and wishing she was still within a phone call's reach. Apropos of nothing the rock station I was listening to suddenly, mid-song, broke into the Irish Rovers "Green Alligators, and long-necked geese" etc. the very song we played at Mother's funeral as she liked the group and it seemed appropriate at the time. Fast-forward 15 years. Finally calling a dinner break the night of Sherry's passing the OH went to a local restaurant (there are a grand total of 4 restaurants in town) to pick up a pizza. Important to the story: he NEVER turns on the radio. As he drove by the Rogers City cemetery, the radio starting blasting out the 60's station. Hmmm. So at least I know Sherry made it to Rock and Roll heaven and apparently music is the choice for communicating with the living.
The fatigue factor was high as constant cleaning, sorting and phone calls took over our lives. (We have dedicated our dining room as the Enlow annex). Three estate sales yielded enough to keep the proverbial wolfie from the door in paying essential house bills. Amazing the stuff people will buy, though the positive stories about my late sister-in-law were comforting. She touched many in that town.
BEFORE
AFTERAs I said we were constantly sleep-deprived, suffering a viral infection and making a 500 mile round trip every week so a couple of stories emerged. One night after a particularly brutal day, we searched high and low for the hotel room key as we were checking out the next morning. Harsh words were exchanged on who lost what when I flung open the door to find the key sitting securely, and unsafely, in the door lock on the outside...all night - oops.
Pretty much on a first-name basis with the various folks at the local hotel. Though them spinning off my credit card number from memory was a little disturbing. However our "chuminess" led to special services. This hotel is not high on luxury but nice view of Lake Huron. However there was a comfy little wrap-around chair one week in our room. The next week-no chair. When I mentioned it, they assured me they would do some discreet checking of other rooms and lo and behold, the little chair appeared in the room that night! They also knew my phone number by heart as they needed it when we left, get this, a pair of shoes and a swiss army knife in the room which I just had them hold until the next week, because of course we had to come back.
One high note. Real Estate people work any hour of the day or night. After two people mentioned this agent's name. I took it as an omen and put a call into her voice mail. She called that night and asked if she could meet with us the next day, Sunday. I had gotten used to the little town closing up on the weekend so I was beyond thrilled. House listed four days later and offer made the first weekend. Though nothing is certain until it is, I give high marks for the real estate hustle she demonstrated. Much better impression than the appraiser we were required to hire whose first words were "who's gonna pay me", who proceeded to lowball the appraisal and did not notice there was an unexpected extra strip of beautiful forested land behind the house. To be honest, the house has its "issues" but it is offered "as is" as part of an estate. After the realtor finished the pictures (highlighting the back forest & us shuffling furniture around to make it look better) I was reminded of the old saying "you really don't want to know how the sausage is made".... Peace out 💙💛
LAKE HURON SUNRISE
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