JOE ISMS (November 27)

THANKSGIVING Well, the Lions lost, but that did not diminish my daughter's (with Dad coaching) excellent first Thanksgiving dinner.  One benefit, we know what kitchen tools she needs. Stocking stuffers here we come.  Assuming the turkey was way too big for five people I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of leftovers. Only one bag each of white meat (them) and dark meat (me). As I am usually the assistant cook (read fetch, carry clean-up person) with the cooking lessons ongoing, I had the luxury of reading the entire paper and her house is also large enough for me to get my laps in. Just eat, doze and sip wine. So that's what the other people do.... 

LIFE OF JOE Lots of Joe time as he had the entire week off from school commencing with a snow day the Friday before.  You know the horrendous 47 feet of snow and ice which has been reduced back to green grass three days later. He went bowling with Grandpa, after a sumptous lunch at McD's, where he became the one-man/boy cheering squad distributing high fives and encouragement to the team. He was rewarded with much attention and candy bars for his efforts. His own bowling after league dissolved into frustration that he can't navigate away from the gutters at times.  But a visit to the video arcade restored his spirits.

Wednesday, picked up the boy and had lunch at a local Italian bistro where he loves the appetizers. This was followed by a guided tour of the zoo (he is the guide). What that boy knows about animals and birds is amazing.  He controlled the route, read the signs to us and gave chapter and verse of habitat, food habits, protective features of each animal after he labeled them prey or predator. He is much better and more knowledgeable than some of the docents I knew when I worked at the City. The Zoo was part of my duties as the Safety dude. I remember when they used those deep moats for bears, but they tend to be unpredictable and hard to contain.  Oh well. Safety always spoils the fun. Bonus I was able to tell Joe some tales from the Zoo that he didn't know Lol.

At one point he literally held a discussion with a hornbill (sub-tropical species) bird. People stopped to listen as the hornbill spoke followed by a lighter, less full-bodied echo.  Went on for quite a while. Later Joe said they were discussing politics and the bird's dismay at not being able to vote. I don't question. 

AFTER GLOW Ventured out Friday not taking into account all the masses of people rushing to build more credit (or use up their credit). Got spoiled during pandemic. Now there's an odd statement, but stores have not been that busy for a long time. Got my Christmas present early- new tires for the Impala. After that horrendous bobsled ride last week, new more aggressive tires seemed in order. Sticks to the new buying, no extra stuff, no clutter rules as they do dispose of the old tires. 

Meanwhile the bagged leaves have been enjoying various treks in the back of the truck. Mulching takes place at the homestead, but the lake house has a constant rain of willow branches and oak leaves from the neighbor and not enough lawn to mulch.  Brought them to Lansing but I said they are doing deleafing at the lake. So they went back to the lake and alas, no gondola had been delivered for the deleafing due to that stupid 47 foot snowfall. So back to Lansing to recycle. Upon arrival finding the Lansing center was closed that day due to the holiday-go figure. So now one more shot to dump leaves, legitimately, Wednesday. Final solution - take the tarps off the tops of the bags and whip down the expressway at 75 and let nature take its course!

Happy hunting season. However if you see this creature, think before you shoot, though you will probably be doubled over in laughter....Peace out 💙💛

                                                    

HOLY SHITASKE, IT'S WINTER (November 20)

 FINAL trip up North, hopefully, for a very very, let me say again very long time. I literally had fingers crossed as the "buyer/savior" nonchalantly signed her little mountain of paperwork for the house. Then tried to act cool by not snatching the check and rushing giddily out the door laughing like a demented hyena. Fifteen minutes flat which I feel is a world record prompted by my "let's just pop in early and maybe they can start earlier". Of course this was overshadowed by my discreet, ahem, glancing at my phone to assess the ominous set of "lake effect showers" impacting the escape route. Also record-setting visits to the bank and the attorney to make copies; cutting the chatter short and again trying to disguise my eagerness to bogey. 

THE SCENIC ROUTE The problem, of course, was no matter how many times I looked at it, the weather prediction sucked (best descriptor). Brief spots of clear surrounded by abysmal shadows of unrelenting squalls all the way home (roast beef notwithstanding - 3 little pigs reference is reaching, but oh well). I voted for a sitting tight option (which would probably have been 4 days) while the OH's vote was of the "damn the torpedoes" variety. Well we can always hole up if it gets bad - NOT. Mostly because when it got bad, we were in the proverbial middle of nowhere and any clear spots were attacked with an optimistic 75 mph, until we coudn't. The first 20 miles were fine...then there was the rest of the trip.  

Highlight was the giddy, gallivant into a gaping gully garnished with guardrails gliding 360 that occurred. Barely enjoying a sigh of relief we did not crash into the guardrails on the far side was immediately stifled by the comedic slide back to the looming guardrails on the other side of the road. Missed both sides, cue the triumphant music. Guess I'm getting new tires for Christmas under our new regime of less clutter, more practical; no stuff, just experiences; no knick knacks, more gift cards. Yeh.

Limping to the expressway while I'm searching for hotels a mere 40 miles from our starting point, we find the expressway somewhat decent....until it wasn't.  Following two tire tracks, a snake trail of cars, semis roaring by and waving at people as they slid down the side of the hills, we did not dare stop. I think my colon finally unclenched a day or so later. Spoiler alert - we didn't die.

 However the rest of the trip was just one shade less exciting culminating in the ice-crusted roads 20 miles from home where again passed the time counting the skid marks and vehicles off the road.  Upon leaving the expressway and traveling the two roads to home (about 5 miles) there was literally no road to follow. Thank you person ahead of us who happened to be going the same way. The joke in Michigan is "Hey hold my beer and watch this"  no joke.

GRANDPARENTING Had the pleasure of young Mr. Robel's company over the weekend where he and Grandpa attacked the pool table for a couple of hours. Good skills for college. Then he helped shovel the driveway and walkway. Mom forgot to drop off his foul weather gear, so we had to make do with what we had and what fit. (see pic) It's nice that he's growing up and can be helpful but there are some drawbacks.  I was checking emails when Mr. Nosey notices I was looking at one of his "Dolphins" items delivery dates.  Darn, he can read and he can put two and two together.  I passed it off as just spam, but he knows how to check history. Ah well, I'm sure he will be cool on Christmas morning.  

Another change to the routine is his Mom is hosting Thanksgiving for us this year for the first time with a bit of help from Dad.  Life is changing and I think we can look forward to a little resting on our laurels in the years to come. Peace out.....💙💛

                                            

                              

BLUE IS MY COLOR (November 13)

THE FINALS Hopefully this week marks the end of the up-north trips (funny how Michiganders always say going up north like the land tilts) for the closing. Of course early snow is predicted. Trying to cancel the utilities is practically an act of god and much paperwork must be provided. Of course possible rebates are involved so I will do the work. Actually should be a no-brainer as the new owner better be signing up for service, especially in the winter. That new boiler and water heater ain't gonna run themselves. 

Speaking of Up-North matters, a picture that my niece was desperate to get her hands on that inadvertently got tossed (I guess) was located.  Now this woman went through six boxes of pictures (supposedly) over six days when she was visiting the empty house and the only one she wanted was one of her in her baptism dress. NOTE:  She never showed up when we were working on the house. No momentoes of her parents, grandparents, etc. She berated me somewhat daily about its disappearance until I told her "get over it, it's gone". Well other sis-in-law found a snapshot of it, blew it up and shipped it to me. I found a frame to fit the 8X10 and presented it to her. Her reaction was "oh, ok".  Major LOL.You know what they say about good deeds never going unpunished.  Based on our hard work, however, the lady will get a nice inheritance.

BLUES NEWS Well the mid-terms were interesting. Never underestimate the American public-woke or not and our resistance against being told what to do, playing us for fools and counting on short memories.  It is amusing that the repubs display lawn freedom signs which from what I can tell (as they haven't changed their strategy "follow Trumpie" for three election cycles) must mean freedom to carry their guns to church. However the rest of us want body autonomy, freedom to worship or not as we wish and be treated with respect no matter who we are or what we believe. Simple. 

Love that MSU and U of M students stood in line for hours to vote. Looks like they brought chairs snacks and friends and made it a "happening" as we used to call it. Thank you younger generations for calling out the BS when you saw it. Do they think we forgot it was the red menace that attacked our capitol and all the inner circle repubs that were interviewed by the January 6 Committee admitting they knew it was all a big lie.  Yet they put out wacka-doodle candidates and no new ideas or changes. We are not all cult-minded Maga-gots apparently.  I think the best one-liner I read was "Who knew that Tiffany Trump's something blue was Nevada".   The count of mostly crisco's daughter was married at a storm -tossed Mar-a-logo Saturday in the midst of his cronies calling for his head after the disaster of November 8.  Much better result than the last time elections were held on my birthday (2016). Sorry, not sorry McConnell.

GIFTING Started my Christmas shopping and deliveries are occurring at record speeds.  Either I'm starting earlier or their overstocking is catching up with them. Joe, who is no longer a "Santa believer", was lobbying heavily for a floating Dolphins helmet.  Yeh, I didn't know either until he showed me on my phone. I told him no way-too expensive.  Of course it has already been ordered, heh heh heh. Nana is a soft touch, 

I saw another neat electronic for my future musical theater grandson. A hand-held item that creates all types of musical montages called a Rukus FX.  Not being familiar with curb-side service, I just saw it online at the store and ordered it to be held. When I showed up at the service desk to pick it up no Rukus. Of course it didn't help that I kept calling it a RUCKUS when it is correctly pronounced RO-KU like japanese or something. The clerk was overwhelmingly polite and never corrected me. I only "got it" when he called back to electronics where he pronounced it the right way.  Oops. I now understand why Grandma called Winn Dixie Dim Wittie. 

Good birthday week. We were early for lunch so shopped a store for socks but ended up with a "purty" little short car-coat. Not needed but pure white-so I couldn't resist. The family gang showed up at the restaurant (EARLY) for a birthday luncheon where each in turn gave me a gift card to our favorite beauty salon. As we get older and, after shoveling out one person's house, we now understand that simpler is better. Then upon meeting Joe and his Mother for lunch before we all went bowling Friday, he proceeded to sing Happy Birthday to me right in the middle of IHOP at pretty much full volume. Shy he is not.   MSU and Lions won. 💚  Peace out.💙💛

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LAST LAPS (November 6)

 NO, REALLY, GET SERIOUS  I've left politics mostly alone as most of us made up our minds before Labor Day. Now we just have to suffer through a few more days of atrocious political commercials which have no problem with out and out lies anymore.  "Make the Truth Great Again" - like to see that on a hat somewhere. One of the top crazies (and there are many) is the one running for Michigan's Secretary of State Kristina Karamo. She literally and publicly stated in a rally that those who have sex with demons will become possessed. (People say these things out loud now) Imagine that phone call to a one-night stand the next morning (penis demons-credit Steven Colbert) Other than that I know of no particular qualifications the lady has for the position other than as a  big election denier who wants to invalidate Mail-In ballots...but only in Detroit... so she has that going for her. 

But if it has a big red "r" on its head it's qualified to run-cue Herschel W.  At least he has an excuse; he's been knocked in the head a few too many times on the football field. But still it's a dead heat against the Reverand of Martin Luther King's old church? Really? You see making voting harder for "certain" people works.

IF IT SMELLS LIKE A ROSE Speaking of crap, on one of our marathon trips to RC last week I smelled a familiar odor.  In passing a large filthy truck with a giant hose on it I knew immediately what nefarious business with which it was engaged. The guys at the City called it a "honey-dipper" as irony is king when you clean sewers for a living. Similar to a wastewater plant you never forget that aroma. Not an outhouse smell but more "organically" (my word), which clings...  Interesting too that the implements to clean sewer pipes are called "pigs" as in a pig will eat anything I assume. Cameras are utilized in the pipes (on little sleds) to check for leaks or blockages. Upon hitting an obstacle, the piggies would get to work.

SPEAKING WITH Changing subjects, I have been working on a couple of podcasts but the completed ones are getting jammed up by our "volunteer" editor who merely adds the music. We may have to use the one about me which I've managed to avoid thus far.  After the PFAS Dilemma is published I'm looking to interview the director of the Michigan State Police HazMat Training Center and another one about electrical safety, specificially 70E, which is hard to explain in a few words.  Pretty much has to do with testing and classifying all electrical applications in an entity to determine PPE and procedures. My vast knowledge of trivia in safety and health is being sorely tested the further I move on from active engagement into retirement. 

NOTE: I'm meeting the MSP candidate at a Starbucks which is one of my worst nightmares. As a rule I do not spring for a $5 cup of sugar, machieeottties, caramelly blasters, expressive espressos, pumps of this or that or whatever the hell they order in there.  And god forbid I ask for a medium instead of a venti or grande or largeinpooper size. I will go with medium black coffee and see what I get. I understand the barrista attitude is a real thing and how much do you tip on a non-invasive, no labor-intensive plain cup of coffee anyway? I'm definitely using a fake name, like... Joe. I have done the Biggby's experience and when I ask for the plain black coffee they point me to the far end of the counter where they have tubs of plain coffee-self serve.

I have no doubt mentioned before how, even after a successful rehearsal, there are still "deer in the headlights" moments when we actually start recording. Reminded me of my first on-air (radio) interview on the Seatbelt Campaign I was coordinating for the City.  Everything was fine in our preliminary discussion, then we flipped the switch to live.  Forgot everything I was going to say, plus I do remember I tried to talk for a full minute without taking a breath.  That's why I always have a rough script. "Off the cuff" remarks are not really off the cuff.  Though I did do the video of the Right to Know Chemical training program in one take because I had given the talk dozens of times to new emps. The camera person was impressed. 

FINAL LOAD? Not sure if champagne corks are popping quite yet on the estate party. Hopefully the water heater install will not be cause for a delay. I do feel a great sense of relief so if my spidy-sense is any indication we have dumped our last load. As we brought every tool but a hammer we were forced to engage in unscrewing pieces of furniture to break them down to fit in the trailer for the dump. As the OH is a master packer we did it in one load though there was much cursing (on my part), much sighing (on his part) to get it done. A well-known secret in RC is on the first Thursday of the month, the garbage patrol will take one "bulk" piece along with your trash.  As I knew the neighbors on each side, one was gifted with a lop-sided recliner, one with a box springs and our contribution was the matching mattress. Saved $100 with that little trick. Now if we can just do the closing electronically...Peace Out 💛💙