DRIVING ME TO...SOMETHING (March 26)

Drivers! Can't live with them and can't live, well with them-no positive side! 

Sparking the rant is the ongoing proliferation of tailgaters. Living in the same area for 40+ years, I have traversed a particular road 100's of times. As usual when one is traveling east with a speed limit of 25 for a mile or two, someone is always drafting on my tail feathers. In the old days one would brake suddenly or wave a "happy" finger to get them to back off, but with so many packing heat, and more importantly, thinking their travel is necessary at high speed I just put it in cruise. What makes this road even more fun is the other side of the street is 45 mph! I am not kidding. When traveling west, one skinny painted line separates the two as eastward drivers whiz by 20 miles faster. 

Even more humorous, though our trusty driver's guide prohibits speeding up until one is even with the actual speed sign, upon questioning my local constabulary I was told I can speed up when I see the sign. Ok as a compromise, when I am at the top of the hill I let nature run it's course and allow the car to do the speed-up thingee on its own so we're doing the posted speed at the bottom where the 45 sign sits. Not that it placates the Busch team wannabes sucking my exhaust however.

To keep myself relevant I was moderating a forum at a construction safety conference this week. Two attorneys were discussing the marijuana laws and after an hour or so of back and forth I believe we are essentially screwed as employers. Test and have no employees or monitor and document the heck out of behavior while hoping said structure does not fall down ahead of schedule. Nice to know we have the same issues with substance abuse we did when I put a drug and alcohol program together for my CDL drivers more than 20 years ago.  

Just for fun I was questioning a few folks at the conference about the most unsafe behaviors they have seen behind the wheel.  Reaching in back; driving with your knees; eating; putting on make-up; literally reading a newspaper and the winner -tablet mounted on the steering wheel with the driver scrolling. One dude who worked at the Michigan DOC (Corrections) mentioned a perfect murder could be performed by a driver taking out another driver with a built-in fast get-away-just, kidding. I know he converses daily with some bad guys, but I didn't linger.  

 Now I contend that Michigan drivers are some of the best. If our northern brethren could put skis on their wheels in the UP they would absolutely do it-who needs brakes "hold my beer and watch this"  However anyone driving the SE Michigan corridor or that piece of I-94 going into Indiana requires stellar moves and reflexes. When I traveled in my job I dreaded those areas. It's not so much the traffic, which is bad or even the 85 mph that seems to be the challenge. I think it's the lack of the po-po creating the "blue creep" I call it as we all pretend we are following the rules when we see particularly marked cars.

Which reminds me of how "extra" careful I had to be when driving a government-marked car. People are watching (which is another type of distracted driving) One particular legend forced me to caution my emps to be sure if you stop at a location that serves alcohol it should also serve food.  One clueless traveler (not one of my folks) was spotted front and center late in the evening at an, ahh, adult entertainment venue. No way they were serving food, at least not anything I would be interested in eating....

Another acutal incident was so egregious it required even more documentation on all our travel paperwork to denote exactly where we were at all times-addresses and time spent- which they would then check against mileage charts.   (Does that count stops at McD's for a potty break?) Apparently some yahoo used his "work time" and work car to play golf boldly parking in full view of a roving reporter who promptly took pictures.  A master criminal indeed. I am not saying the employee was not guilty but I also have to question his superiors for not catching on that he never got anything done in the summer.  Noticing missing paperwork or occasional ride-alongs are, kind of, part of the job.

With driverless cars and Uber/Lyft some driving issues may be alleviated. Reports are indicating that young people are not "itching" to get that old license. Not in my day. A license meant freedom and if you could wrangle the car, no bus to school! I passed up a trip to Florida with my sibs to make sure I got my driver's training in the summer before I turned 16. On the momentous day of my road test, I drove my Dad to the SOS. His final words of encouragement to me were "Well, thank goodness I never have to ride with you again". Since I can count on one hand (or finger)  the number of times I drove my Dad anywhere it just goes to show some wishes do come true..

I come from a line of professional drivers. My brother was all about motorcyles. My mild-mannered, loving flower child older sister drives like Mario Andretti with scant respect for slow-pokes. My Mother used to drive through the winter on our Free Press route with only skinny me to get us out of snow drifts; but she was a master of the rear-wheel drive station wagon in addition to her quick get-aways in dicey situations.   As my brother used to say "she could have been a wheel man for the mafia". 

Also my Mother's oft-told story was she never took a driving test to get a license. She claims an Irish cop was so impressed with Shirley Muldoon's beauty he cooed "I'm sure you'll be a safe driver lassie".  (I made the irish and lassie part up, but she did get a license in the mail with no testing much to her father's surprise). My guess is at the final crescendo of WWII, Detroit cops were too busy stopping German U-boats creeping up the Detroit river and persecuting weiner dogs. 

                                                 

Also took the opportunity to attend an interesting presentation this week, as one must get out of the house when the professionals are doing their cleaning thing. A food safety practictioner (yes they exist) made me afraid to eat anything out of my refrigerator unless I incinerate it first basically. And if I did not wash my hands thoroughly before I am now a believer. One little factoid is "have you ever had the 24-hour flu?" No such thing-food poisoning.  Not the killing kind just the loose bowel kind.  Makes you think. Also I may never use my countertops again to put, I don't know, food on.  Peace out...💚💙💛

SLICE, DICE AND STAB (March 20)

TREED Paul Bunyan and crew have savaged our yard at the lake.  Whether in retrospect, this was a good move,  only time will tell. That tree has been the "proverbial" thorn in our side since we moved in the place.  Constantly "weeping" it's branches and leaves all over the yard I at least got plenty of exercise picking up sticks and not in a good way. Pro-tree offered good shade to a mostly unused portion of deck. Cons-everything else. Home to woodpeckers slowly cleaning out the insides of branches; ominous creaking and branches dropping during windstorms. Threats to the fence below and diving board for escaping squirrels. An ominous lean toward the canal just a little more noticeable each year. Constant complaints from the neighbor who's house was in the line of fire if ole weepie actually lost the battle with gravity. 

It's a neighbor's tree company so an offer of a great deal of $xxx for removal. Oh, you want the wood removed? Duh? Another $Xxx. Whoops-can't bring my super-duper topper/lopper in the yard another $XXx. Licensed and insured, well $XXX! Damn so glad it was a benevolent neighbor ripping me off. Much better than a stranger. Easier to complain whenever I see them. 

No doubt the grand dog and grand son will miss it. One liked to lay under its shade and contemplate squirrel incursions; the other liked to pee near it when he could get away with it.  Guess which is which.

SINGLE FILE At least they brought a full crew for the woody demolition. Other tree folk I have engaged tend to work solo with fancy acrobatics and rope competencies on display. We would grab a couple of brewskis and lawn chairs to enjoy the show. Working alone was one of the issues I needed to negotiate when I was a safety skate. Much of the work on off-hours was more maintenance or observation-type.  Why send a crew when one set of eyes will do? Of course it never stops there.

One notable evening it was decided (by one appropriately named "trouble man") that the job could not wait for morning. So cranking up the old truck bucket with some sluggish hydrualic fluid seemed a reasonable idea at 3 am.  Up was fine; down not so much. After much contemplation and a non-functioning radio the result was an attempt to lower oneself from the edge of the bucket. Good plan except for not nailing the landing resulting in a compound fracture. Reconstructing accidents is always a game of hindsight 20-20. How to weigh economic issuses against a worker's desire to take care of the problem.  Which is why we try to design jobs and operations so failure does not threaten injury or death in a misguided decision. We make our employers crazy with our "what if" scenerios, but our "what ifs" is how we play the game.  Do not pass GO without your personal protective gear. 

Another challenge was the one-person and a truck checking canned lift stations which are part of the active sewer system located underground with one way in and out. I made the plunge, but with my claustrophobic tendencies it was a one-time deal to understand the problem.  Really good phone communication before and after as there are, surprise, no rules against working alone. Talk about your confined spaces.

YOGA-A GO GO Speaking of exercise (huh?) my option I guess. After meeting with the surgeon from Hell on my knee/hip/leg issues he asked if I was taking meds, engaging in PT and trying yoga. So finally made it to the third leg of the stool and hit a couple of yoga sessions at my local community center. Those who know me understand my total disdain for "group" exercise with a leader exhorting the girls to "keep going" "you've got it" "great energy" bleahh.  I'd rather cut my leg off than get involved with the rah rah BS.  Anyway for $2 a session I gave it a try.  

First off all the ladies are my age or older so that's a plus. The majority are in pretty good shape and in yoga you don't talk-you concentrate-all good. Being a crippled newbie when these gals stretch, I'm stifling my groans as I try to move extremely painful joints in some version of the "dancing coconut" or "bouncing ginko" positions these ladies are assuming. I usually start a movement and fall off partway through. As the room is dimly lit to better concentrate I'm straining mightily to ascertain the movement shown by the leader and usually get it wrong.  It seems rude to focus on those nearest (who may be performing their own unique version of the buttressing icicle) but one has little choice. The tingey tangey music is kind of nice too, but the cool-down relaxed breathing exercise at the end is totally lost on me as I just  want to get up and out of there.  And the namaste part makes me giggle. Like we were able to achieve nirvana staring up at the ceiling of an old classroom with insulation hanging out of it, which in my experience, is probably asbestos or silica-deep breaths, not so much. Chalk it up also to my normally impatient nature, though I will keep trying.

DR DR Latest medical intervention this week was a deep steroid injection into my spine. Another nail in the coffin of my arthritic body looking for relief (short of death obviously). Who needs sedation? I've done natural childbirth and ran where others merely limped. Valium is my go-to. Just enough to take the anxiety level down and stay fully conscious so I can wax hilariously with the medical staff during the procedure. 

One of my previous medical "bon mots" was during a colonoscophy where my surgeon also happened to be my breast cancer doctor who had the pleasure of attacking both ends of my problems so to speak. He had students in the room and courteously asked if I had a problem with it. Of course not I said and informed the room that Dr. X was actually my T's and A man.  Dead silence but he laughed, bless his heart. Young people just have no sense of humor. Thankfully I do not remember anything after that. 

At any rate, no pain so the next day I started back on my 10 mile a day walking although technically it was suggested to "ease into my routine" over a week or two-as if. Just a little numbness so hopefully I haven't screwed this up.    Go State and Peace out.....💚  💙💛

 

MEMORIES AND CURRENT EVENTS (March 13)

REMEMBER WHEN  I like to listen to 60's and 70's music (shades of my youth) and when I hear a familiar song I look at the date and try to recall what I was doing that year.  When a fav from the 60's came up dated 1966 it made me think of my brother who passed 4 years ago.  In 1966 he would have been a senior in high school; a protector of his younger sisters. I know he scared away at least one dude giving me grief as an awkward freshman and discouraged my fascination with a senior he deemed too old. 

He was a charming, talented and popular boy who, coming from Detroit and sporting "that" haircut had technically, an unearned reputation for being tough in that conservative Grand Rapids suburb. He was a talented musician who played the "licorice stick" and saxophone so beautifully he performed with the GR symphony orchestra as a young teen and was the "clarinet player" in a local production of the "Sand Box". But for whatever reason the wheels came off and he started to have problems. To punish his parents (so he said) he joined the Marines during the Viet Nam war, but being the musician he was ended up a member of the Marine band! 

He never found his way though and after marriage (for many reasons) he gave up his music.  I believe something died inside when he let that go and he was never the same. Still charming on the outside, more and more a stranger to his family. No one outside really understood  how we all became estranged. But I know he loved his children to distraction and was always there for them. Perhaps the recent passing of my Mother's last sibling encouraged me to wonder how things might have been.  Cliche-wise, we all say we only have today, but we don't really believe it. We reap what we sow. 

POLITICS AS USUAL WHA???  Margorie TG (you know the millionaire alleged bomber who is one of only two congress persons who voted no on a bill expressing sympathy for the 50,000 Turks who died in the earthquakes) is pushing articles of impeachment for Papa Joe. For the crime of whatever she can come up with like the infrastructure deal we all benefit from or reuniting NATO at a time when the Russians decided to restart the cold war or lowering the deficit, among other sins. I thought impeachment was reserved for crooks, blackmailers and those who incite riots to attack the Capitol and kill legislators. How naive of me.

The southern states mad rush to impose new rules against society is especially curious. In the past week, the Arkansas governor "Her Honorable Ms Huckle-berry" who used to lie for the former pres, signed legislation to approve removing safety and work rules for minors. Great idea for a poor state to encourage more school drop-outs, late nights and hazardous duty for the little ones that, added bonus, they can pay them less-Yay. And here's looking at you Tennesee with your legislation allowing county clerks to deny marriage licenses to same-sex, interfaith or interracial couples. How does a secular, government position become "religionized". Last time I worked (for someone) I did not get to make up the rules based on my beliefs-one quits first, which I did. Is a return to all-out slavery far behind?  Well some people are just better than others apparently. Where do we stand now Justice Thomas?

Between the book bannings, marriage bans and total war against people who are "different" either the conservatives would like to reinstate the 19th century or they have a very worrisome preoccupation with sex. 😳  Pope Francis says we should stop worrying about what goes on in the bedroom and start caring for people who are persecuted, sick and starving. Oh yes, those "Christian" values. And for those states trying to reinstate laws that ban folks wearing clothes in public that are different from their legal sex I can't help but point out women will stop wearing pants over "your" dead body and ministers/priests and KKK'ers all wear "girly" robes so who's the cross -dresser now? Hard to tell the players without a program. 

LIGHTEN THE MOOD  Joe attended his first dance with a lady last week. He accompanied his Mother to the Mother/Son dance at the Opera house.  He even wore a tie and everything. When Grandpa asked him if he had to pay for dinner and the ticket he said no. Grandpa told him he sure lucked out on expenses.

Talking about clothes I have to repeat some advice from Miss Manners. When queried if wearing black to a wedding was appropriate her reply was "Not unless you're protesting it".  LOL

SUN WHERE ART THOU?  And hey, regardless of the white stuff that keeps appearing, the proverbial harbinger of Spring has sprung, though worm pickings are slim....Peace Out  💚   💙💛

Next Week:  tree story, yoga ladies

LION OR LAMB (March 6)

The week got quite busy with doctor appointments and a fun-filled MRI. My drug of choice is valium which (apparently) just takes a bit of the edge off as I am slid into the gerbil tube and the symphony of magnets begins their cantankerous clanging. 

This week also heralded the sad passing of my Aunt, the last of my Mother's siblings, but only 15 years older than myself which is odd to consider. This resulted in a trip to the Detroit area in time for the raging blizzard. Not sure if that counts as March coming in as a lion as the first and 2nd of March, and actually the 4th were quite benevolent weather-wise. It's like winter has been holding back until we got through February which is when we normally start believing balmier times are just ahead. Instead Mama Nature turned around with a"gotcha" snowstorm and promises another one this week. Though the roads were clear and dry on the trip home I counted a dozen cars and one tractor-trailer gracing the sidelines traveling north on I-75.

Funerals are marked with sadness and hilarity as we mourn a passing and catch up with family we haven't seen for awhile and reminisce over shared experiences "back in the day".  We are still the cadre of cousins that share so much history. But why are our children in their 40's?  When did that happen?  Realizing my sister and I are the "oldest" of this generation is rather sobering. No matter we are 18 in our heads and still enjoy our booze. We agreed more weddings and less funerals for the future. 

Fun political story -  Marjorie Taylor Green who "literally" and classlessly heckled the president during the State of the Union address is whining that a couple of "lefties" harangued her when she was in a restaurant. You sow what you reap you creep. I love that it accidently rhymed. What a dipstick. Though I have to believe some of these folk's sticks ain't quite reaching the oil of intelligence.

Now that it's cool to believe in UFO's (we always did) I about pooped myself as I watched two bright lights, one with an orangish hue follow us home from Joe's house. Although cleverly mimicking an airplane, they did not move....they hovered-da da DA! Took a picture and went to my trusty source Facebook, where I discovered it was actually planetary bodies (Jupitor & Venus) having an old-fashioned hoe-down -- millions of miles apart, but together.  Metaphor for life and death.

Surprised the Joe-boy by picking him up after school to go bowling and dinner though he insisted we work on his homework in an extremely busy and noisy restaurant. Have to admire his willingness to have a good time coupled with anxiety that he get his homework done. But the way they teach them math is so bizarre these days. As he was able to eloquently explain to me how he reached his answer (which was the same as mine the old-fashioned way) I guess I can't complain.  I also admire his polite disdain as he requests an adult menu when they try to hand them the "kid's version" Peace out💚💙💛