LOVE & KINDNESS (May 1)

Happy May!  Weather person says give us a couple of days and the weather will be doggone summery - promises, promises. I'm keeping my winter coat handy.  Of course (actually typed curse, may be more accurate) that means it's orange barrel season!  Although similar in size and shape their placement is a thing of theater. Near the road, on the road, on the middle line, in the ditch, topping a middle schooler's head.

 There is a Manual of Traffic Control codes that provide one a blueprint of road closures, tapering, warning signs and traffic control devices. The human traffic control devices are harder to see and easier to hit based on the fatalities thus far this year.  There is actual training that goes along with handing a worker an orange vest, hard hat and sign.  Some think they are semaphore flaggers doing ship to ship signals. Most use radios/walkie talkies. And some stand idly by unconcerned and get mowed down like ten pins in a bowing alley. In one City instance the guys told me "a crazy lady driver" (right) literally chased them up a hill and they had to cling to vegetation to keep from becoming road kill. 

All of the above to say I really shouldn't complain about the road closures that are slowly but surely cutting off all access to the outside world at this very moment. 

IDLE THOUGHTS As I was trying desperately to make a small amount of toilet tissue left on the roll meet the situation at hand (ahem), I had the thought that each square resembles a piece of bread off a loaf. Probably with peanut butter. Come on. We've all been there.

The OH finally set up his Aero garden he got for Christmas which consists of three teeny tiny tomato plants, fertilizer and  grow light. After a couple of weeks with said grow light running 12 hours a day little tomato plants have emerged with little tiny tomato blossoms.  One of the instructions said to set up  a fan to cross-pollinate the plants even though they live inches apart.  So I just blow on the little darlings when I happen to pass. Plants love carbon dioxide right? Seems to be working.

                                                         

POD PEOPLE A plethora of possibilities for podcasts. Gosh I like that word. Always zero to sixty in this biz as I juggle three separate interviews.  I also coined the phrase for one of the interviewees who wondered about my insistence on rough scripting. An "audio journalist" loathes dead air I told him.  Coming up - Lithium-ion batteries, Error Reduction and Mental Health in Construction. The last one is all the buzz recently. There is apparently a near-epidemic of mental health issues and suicides occurring among construction workers. I am about to find out why. Long hours, difficult work, lots of travel coupled with the "macho" image of a, mostly male, workforce dealing with personal difficulties in unhealthy ways. 

JOEISMS Enjoyed an afternoon with the grandson last week, bowling and dinner. He got an impromptu lesson from the resident bowling pro and also snaked extra chicken nuggets at Arby's from the cashier because, as he put it, he's a people person. When Grandpa ran short of his drink Joe offered some of his. When asked what he was drinking he said "something called Hic." He served himself his own drink at the dispenser and it dawned on Grandpa it was Hi C.  We quietly had hysterics later.

Second Joeism. We stopped at the house to get his bowling ball and he was taking forever to come back to the car. I went to check and he had let the dog out to do her business. He chided me by saying she's been cooped up all day. When I asked why she wasn't at doggy daycare today he said "Mama says she's old enough to be responsible".  OMG I love that kid! May we all be as loving and responsible as Joe and his dog in this world that needs both attributes so badly.  Peace Out....💚  💙💛

YES, BUT IS IT SAFE? (April 24)

IT'S SUMMER, AHH NOT Are we surprised that we have entered mid/late Spring again after a bout with "fake" summer.  Oh Michigan I love you and your little weather snarks. One minute I'm driving in my fancy croc sandals (yes they make cute ones) the next I'm hauling my winter coat back out and scraping Spring off the windshield. I swear I hear a diabolical chuckle as my optimistic humming bird feeder sways in the gale-force winds. 

CONFERENCE TIME Weather worked out, however, for the Michigan Safety Conference. Often when sun and warm weather combine the halls of education get a little sparse in attendees. But this year, we had record crowds and exhibitors so that was good.  I am so glad we wear name tags as there is nothing worse than people enthusiastically greeting you and you're frantically and hopefully, not obviously, scanning their name badge. What was doubly embarrassing were several people I interviewed for the podcast assuming I recognized them.  After preliminary conversations, rehearsal and recording I do get to know them quite well...until I start on the next program.  I am sticking to the story that people look different in person than they do on ZOOM.  Not sure that one is going to play but it's all I have. 

Those who have been regaled with my arthritic leg stories can understand my concern attending a dinner at a restaurant outside the hotel. That in addition to running back and forth between my booth recording promos and the classroom moderating a speaker. In trying to figure out how far a walk it was (google says 8 minutes) I am contemplating grabbing a cab for a $1.20 trip and large tip.  Then I realize the restaurant is right across the street from the side of the hotel.  Ok - in my defense it's a pretty big hotel. Second issue - it's a seafood restaurant - which is not in my fan arena. They must have chicken right? No.  But I was able to settle on a blackened shark which though not spectacular was at least in the spirit of cooperation.  As others were waxing enthusiasm over the suspicious looking appetizers I tried to remain quietly aloof. The creme brulee for dessert, though, was right up my alley! 

Speaking of the hotel, those familiar with Grand Rapids may know of the famous Amway which was called the Pantlind back in the day located on the river. I prefer the Pantlind rather than the Tower side as it's closer to the President's after glow reception on the 9th floor so one can stumble back to their room without that long walk through the lobby. Though I had a king room, the king part pretty much took up the room. Actually the bathroom was bigger than the "crawl space" around the bed. And the spectacular view of the air handlers on the roof is to be expected as I insist on a room on the 5th floor or lower. Word to the wise-the firefighters do not have equipment that goes higher than that so hope you bounce. Rather a pain to hang out with safety people; they are real bummers on trivial facts.

Three days of talking safety and health with like-minded individuals-heaven.  Though we tend to focus on "famous accidents/injuries and fatals" we have known.  Several leads for the podcast so fingers crossed. I was wearing a new dress for the awards dinner and found a little more "exposure" than I had anticipated when I got dressed. This led to 10 minutes of frantic tugging, pinning (stabbing myself half a dozen times) and almost being late for said dinner. 

As I entered the gorgeous, chandelier encrusted banquet room (down a ramp and 2 stairs with 3 inch heels) the gentlemen at my table stood up. Their rapt attention was one of those where I worried "oh crap, do I have a stream of TP trailing my steps".  Or perhaps it was respect for my position on the Board of Directors and Podcast Host extradanaire. But as they scrambled to get me a drink it dawned on me. It's the dress. Oh well. At 71 might as well enjoy some of my last hurrahs. But I do need to fix it before the family wedding in a couple of months...

A small group was invited to an after dinner drink at an exclusive little bar in the hotel. Exclusive meaning tiny, dark and packed where a glass of water is $4 and a tip but served with flourish. The gentlemen agreed to the waiter's foreplay of aged whiskey with maple syrup smoked in flaming wood chips lit right at your table with sparks falling to the wooden floor. I said I liked whiskey but that was a little fru fru for me. White wine please. However, it was a french chardonnay of which I ceremoniously swhirled, sniffed and sipped before approving a glassful.  Delicious. Though the whiskey lighting was quite smashing.       Peace out 💚   💙💛

APRIL FOOLS (April 17)

FAKE SUMMER #1 Only in Michigan (well maybe Wisconsin). I have seen so many stages of undress this week as we cheat a little and enjoy "fake summer" for a few days. Shorts, crop tops, sandals galore! The flowers are buying into it though in a day or so they may regret their headlong rush into sunlight sporting their colors.  Team Daffodil, Thumping Tulips and the Hyacinth Huskies. When it's 50 and I see shorts I think that's pushing it; but 60 and sleeveless top lady riding on the back of a motorcycle is wrong on so many levels; road rash being only one. 

Of course good weather means cleaning up the gardens and picking up sticks for hours. Then the clandestine burning when everybody's at work or school in the firepit grill. The way the wind blows and how the house is situated, normally "the stick stops here". My role is to be frantically on the lookout for complaints whenever the errant wet leaf creates a telltale smoke trail. It's usually white so apparently my cover story is I'm prepping for the next pope election considering Francis has been having some issues lately.

WHAT NOW? The conservatives have been busy with new restrictions.  Funny as they are always touting they are the party of freedom and less government control.  Guess attacks on religion, sex, books, teachers, people different from them, social security, medicare, segregation (Arkansas), throwing black congressmen out for voicing opinions (albeit with a bullhorn) and drugs do not count as restricting freedom and government control.

 As a woman who has suffered a miscarriage I can tell you medical treatment before the medication was a physical ordeal (on top of the mental stress). Of course in some States medical intervention may not even be an option.  If they can restrict one drug, by judge shopping, what is to stop them from restricting others?  Not viagra, of course. That's needed so the old congressmen can still chase down their young interns. Wonder how men would react if vasesctomy was outlawed. Apparently the procedure is happening in proverbial droves in the southern states as the men try to protect the women and themselves. Right on brothers.

QUIET WEEK Fishing season and we're ready. Got our licenses (though mine languishes most years). Got a new trolling motor that the S-I-L installed. Small problem getting the boat out of the garage however. My 2007 Pontiac convertible refused to engage. New battery so the problem is probably internal and costly. Edging the boat out without scratching my stubborn little SHESTOY took three people and guts. Thinking of calling my used car guy and asking what he'll give me for her but he has to come and get it lol.  It's all about negotiation. Maybe we can become those golf cart people who slip down the street at lightening speed of 15 mph. Of course they usually don't have the payload to haul a boat so that's out.

Couple of "bon mots" as Dad used to call them from the OH.  Due to my progressivly worsening arthritis and my whining about it, I have had a series of 4 (count 'em) 4 MRI's since August.  The OH says I schedule them like carnival rides but it could be the valium.  2nd witless i cism. Ever since I exploded my eardrum last Fall the tinnitus has become as noisy as a marching band in a nursery. I keep swearing that machines are running. The OH called it "No that's just the sound of your brain working".  Well good to know. The tests are to try to determine why the injection into my tattoo or my spine, I'm not sure which, did not work, but instead opened up new pathways of discomfort. But it only hurts when I move and of course, I will never play the violin. More's the pity. As I will be on my feet pretty much the next three days at a conference staffing a booth and moderating lectures, I am stocking up on mucho meds.

MSU has the best MRI machines size - wise and I think I know most of the techs by name by now and have the routine down. However one size fits all in the gown department so I always have to come out in my underwear to be tied in or out of said gown. Sometimes its a man, sometimes its a woman but its all part of the fun. I mean once you've seen the internal workings of my body the rest is just gravy or meat I guess would be more descriptive. Spartan Strong and Peace out.....💚  💙💛

                                         

                                                           

PEOPLE SKILLS (April 10)

Safety folks get a bad rap at times. Kill joy, expensive, unnecessary and my favorite "I've been doing it this way for 20 years lady" (usually just before the accident). One example is the dress code I advocated for  meter readers. As every one of them had been bitten by something - dog, cat, bird, otter, mink, owner -I insisted on long pants. After I left of course, freedom from dress codes prevailed with, no doubt, an equally escalating workers' comp bill for a more serious injury.  My thinking was nothing like a mouthful of denim to deter a ravaging beast. 

At the same place the safety folk (all 2 of us) did not approve of the white trucks the CEO wanted to buy for replacements. It was his trademark apparently. Our ugly bottle-green trucks stood out like an atheist at a prayer meeting. Again as soon as I left, white was the color of choice.  Ever notice how nicely plain white stands out in our Michigan winters? You would think those flashing lights would be a dead give-away, but with so many distractions available in the cockpit, the fact that a multi-ton white truck was in front of you does not seem to register. Of course, folks have been known to drive right into the back of a fire truck which are lit up like a Christmas tree. Usually alcohol is a factor and like moths to a flame they are curious to examine the pretty flashing lights. Fortunately most fire folk are paramedics as well, so win-win. 

I had the opportunity to interview two younger safety folk for the podcast this week and I asked them about the "safety cop" reputation we sometimes have. Their perspective was enlightening and gratifying. It may be a generational thing (which we debated) but I admit the next generation is much more cognizant of interpersonal relations and rewarding postive behaviors. Carrot over stick so to speak. One quoted studies proving positive recognition among peers meant more than the pizza parties thrown for no accidents in the quarter; an old practice that management loved, but safety folk knew just led to a bit of dishonesty in reporting mistakes and accidents. Or not reporting problems at all. When an employee feels safe to express his or her views and not be throttled or told to MYOB good things happen. 

I was humbled by the interview in which they expressed their appreciation to me as a mentor (read relic) of the olden days. Also good to know some things haven't changed as we agreed a sense of humor, asking questions, really listening and taking it on the chin sometimes, are skills that have remained. They were surprised that just 25 or so years ago I endured a certain amount of derision for being the first female president of the local chapter of a national professional safety group. I just wished more women were involved in the sausage factory I oversaw. LOL. Hopefully that is changing. 

EGG TIME  Easter weekend brought the boy out to color eggs. He was then tasked with finding 15 of them strewn around the yard.  I thought at almost age 11 the egg hunt was passe but he was all for it, however I am going to have to be more creative in hiding places. He was done in minutes. 

And at this holiest of times, Passover, Easter and Ramadan overlapping how does the world react to these holy events - bombing the crap out of each other...... Peace, really, Peace out  💚 💙💛🙏

SPRING BREAK (April 3)

That happy time of year when a young man's and woman's fancy turns to .....Spring Break! Though when I was in school during the Ice Age, it just meant a week away from school which was a celebration in itself. In the days when I could sleep in as opposed to my reality of 5 am these days, just because. Got to get those steps in. Plus after the second or third time hitting the "john" one might as well arise and embrace the dark of dawn.

  Today folks plan quick trips to outer Mongolia or Antarctica dragging the kiddos including auto-sized perambulators with them. Remember when air travel was so special and expensive only the adults indulged? Yeah me neither.  People take their kids everywhere and at great expense. What inflation? I was in a Florida airport one time hearing a couple arguing with the ticket master when he told them the tiny puddle jumper to the Keys was not large enough to carry a boat-sized baby stroller. I never did discover which of the three got left behind. I hear it's a beautiful drive though.

Spring breaking with the 10-year old grandson was certainly active and expensive and we didn't do anything except mucho fishing (sometimes in a snowstorm), bowling, arcade, shopping at Cabela's (for fishing stuff of course  and new waterproof redhead boots) and the Air Zoo. I don't know about him, but I was tired at the end of each day. He refuses any reference to "Kids" menus and orders off the expensive adult one often resulting in those little white boxes that proliferate in the 'frig after a hard week.  

As the sun appeared periodically he was hepped up to get some sunglasses that would make him look "Top Gunish" his latest obsession. After Nana rejected the expensive model (knowing I would be committing "kidricide" when he inevitiably loses them), he settled on some more reasonably priced lenses -aviator style.  He immediately went into a strut mode which he thought made him look tough. Mistake number 1. 

Visited the Air Zoo in Portage which has every flying machine from Kitty Hawk to the Stealth bomber. He was fascinated especially as they had an indoor amusement park. Not realizing my ruptured eardrum was a real and present danger to life and limb I agreed to accompany the boy on the first ride. It went around in circles; and up and down; and round and round (amidst much screeching). I thought I was going to barf all over my young pilot.  Geez! Finally someone in the family to ride on rides and my balance abilities have been shot to hell. Which of course put the "kibosh" on my trying out the flight simulator which could not only turn one upside down and sideways but also necessitated being enclosed into a confined windowless space. So much for my dreams of becoming a pilot. 

Mistake 2 was exiting the museum hall right into the souvenir shop (do you suppose that is by design?) The boy would not relinquish his new aviators and was thrilled when someone commented on them and then he saw ....THE JACKET!... Abort Abort.  All is lost.  Oh well happy birthday early. Newly equipped with flight jacket and shades he became 6-foot tall and dangerous sporting a menacing curled lip as he strutted. Of course he got noticed, but he was cool, well sometimes.  He would just get so excited. I tried to get him to understand to let the admirers come to him as he definitely stood out, We ended our visit at a second building where he got to sit in real helicopters and chopped up jets. With that outfit the Tom Cruise vibe was unmistakeable and people noticed.  What's a few bucks for that much happiness.  This spoiling business has its perks.

BRIEF COMMERCIAL PAUSE You know how slime can shift, shimmy and ooze through small cracks and crevices? Well the events of this week were kind of like that.  Could be another "nuttin burger" but for one shining moment we believed that threats, violence, lies and intimidation can be overcome and no one is above the law (if only for a moment). 🙈🙉🙊

A STAR IS BORN In conclusion. A young boy had his dreams fulfilled, again if only for a moment, life is good.   Peace out....💚  💙💛