NOT MY BEST IDEA... (August 21)

 

2-WHEELING Ah Michigan. Shorts and flip flops in March if there is a whisper of Spring and slacks/jeans in August with a whiff of 60 degrees. I really have respect for the intrepid motorcycle contingent. Braving iffy weather for the thrill of the ride. Though not sure which is worse those monsoon-like rainstorms in summer or the sneaky patch of black ice as they tease out just a little longer season. The Police I worked with at the City hung up their Harleys on November first regardless. Funny I never got to do a ride-along with the motorcycle fuzz. No doubt due to my lack of cool knee-high Harley boots.

I tried the 2-wheeled world briefly but never got out of my neighborhood, though I was excellent circling the house in first gear. I discovered I was able to pick up my Honda 250 after it fell on me though, which is part of the initiation phase of "biking". Extremely dramatic of course which is why one wears leather and helmets and boots and gloves and... shoulder pads...chest protectors...face mask...designated driver.. but I digress. Mine was a private spectacle though a neighbor did express concern. The OH knew better than to say anything negative or of the "told you so" variety. Slide out from under, pick up traitorous machine, climb aboard and zip out in first gear once again.  My brother, a Kawasaki aficionado, called it a baby bike and proceeded to show me by riding my bike with his belly stretched over the seat and his feet hanging out the back end. Real funny. 

I marvel at those hoisting vehicles so big their feet cannot touch the ground unless in a hard lean which I'm guessing teaches one to make smaller and smaller circles, so you don't have to come to a complete stop. Cars just don't understand the obstacle they present to riders. I guess I am just better at the back seat position, though it is hard not to lean into turns with your host. Another tip-do not look at the speedometer from the rear seat with a careless driver. My "Polish bike (his word) brother took it up over 100 mph on a well-traveled road with me clinging like a barnacle on a ship bottom.    

JACK IT UP! Speaking of speed, snowmobiles. Michigan has two seasons: winter and construction. On a mid-winter (February) trip to the Upper P-way up-Marquette for a conference, what does one do on the off hours (besides drinking and the only place in the world I sing Karaoke)? They bring their snow machines. My only experience with the snow toy was in ancient times when a little yellow ski doo was all the rage. So, when it was suggested we try out the machines, in the dark (full moon on a trail) in Marquette I was all in. Shall we say, ahem, things have changed. 

Climbing into the foul weather gear, think toddler in a snowsuit, boots, hat wanting to go potty-you are trapped.  Waddling out to the innocent looking machine was exercise in itself. Then imagine blasting through the woods in the dark hanging on for dear life with nothing behind you to hold you on the seat. Those suckers move! I almost got dumped during that ride but with the noise I don't think my friend would have even noticed. Not to mention similar to a turtle I doubt I could have stood back up on my own considering I was encapsulated in 20 pounds of gear.  One thing that makes it safer, LOL, is the animals certainly hear you coming and get the hell out of the way.  All that being said, however, IT WAS AWESOME!  and valuable point, nobody died.  😮

I REALLY KNEED THIS Switching gears as I climb out of the snowmobile, I am so looking forward to my knee surgery Lamaze class, as I call it, this week. The OH has to go too as the caretaker. I am hoping it will be at least as graphic as the original Lamaze class where the immortal words were spoken "no, I'm not doing that".  No, not me the OH when they showed the home birth video. Sometimes too much information is too much. 

I still think so many people believe women just drop them babies, no sweat and get back on the wagon train on their way to Californ I A. Media has painted an unrealistic picture of the 1800's and beyond when it comes to birthing. They never show the bonneted woman cussing out her old man or explains why they boil the water; just no big deal and baby at the end. Nobody wants to know how they make the sausage and why the sausage needs autonomy over her own life.  Peace Out....💚  💙💛 

                                                                            

WATERED DOWN (August 14)

Wild time at the ole watering park last week.  Yes, there was a lot of water and noise and humidity and little people bouncing off the proverbial walls.  On the bright side, my hair reacted beautifully to the tropical environment and curled nicely. Every type of swimsuit was featured with yours truly in actually a more modest skirted version. I swear people do not look in the mirror before they venture out, but no one asked my opinion (my new mantra). Apparently, I am considered opinionated so I'm working on it. 

One of the (multitudes of) lifeguards kept bugging me offering me way too much advice on where to stand to get the best pictures, lingering in my personal space as I watched for the intrepid daredevils to emerge from the "tube" and continually trying to engage in conversation. Almost missed the spectacular image of Grandpa and Joe shooting out of the tube and crashing into the wall- awesome!

When the time came for tumbling down the chute I invoked the "claustrophobia" card, so Grandpa did the honors by riding through the tube with the boy. Neither one looked happy at the end so whew! Though I did want to try it after I saw them go through, Joe was not a fan of a second run. He did try the body surfing attraction and I was rather intrigued until I realized I met half of the "precautions". You know "do not take this ride if you have....HBP, Osteo, loose bathing suit, paranoia, rickets, malaria, etc."  I did partake of the "Lazy River" eschewing the inner tube (that we all look so graceful entering and exiting) and just power walked with the current-have to get those steps in!

Though advertised as a luxurious experience, not so much. Everything was extra and the restaurant where "kids eat free" was a bit of a challenge.  Like the "Hotel California" you can order but you can never eat apparently due to the crowds, lack of wait staff and too few tables. The Joe did perform an impromptu song and dance routine with the clerk in the gift shop earning him a free sticker, however. He also discovered a VR (virtual reality) set-up in the arcade which took most of his money. Funny to watch when you're not in the game as the player swats at unseen predators and screeches to unknown terrors in the VR world. 

SAFETY STUFF Speaking of unknown terrors, (neat little segue) that is pretty much the description of an EHS professional.  Although we do try to anticipate the terrors/hazards and educate and protect appropriately. I was a big believer of using other people's experience as a guide. Always a win if someone does not die upon receiving said experience. 

Line workers would practice pole top rescue as occasionally one zigs instead of zags resulting in hanging from one's gear unconscious. Before I came on the scene, they were using themselves. Live bodies being "manhandled" off the pole after receiving the precordial thump (sternum punch). That led to obtaining our first Resusci Annie dummy. I won't even go into the inappropriate ways they referred to the young lady during training.  As they would say after I became their safety skate all the fun went out of their work. I bear the criticism proudly.

 I also destroyed the fire-fighter's confidence in their rescue "trampolines" as I pointed out no way to test them unless they wanted to take the leap themselves. Then there was the shotgun in the plant supervisor's office in case they needed to shoot down pigeons that managed to get inside the plant, umm no. Leaving only the risk of possible histoplasmosis from the pigeon droppings vs. the errant shot, angry worker or bloody carcass crashing to the ground. Or the crazy question from an engineer no less, "do we really have to vent the generator outside?" (though I think he wanted to blame Safety as it was cold). Yes, no fun at all.   So keep your powder dry and Peace Out.....💚  💙💛

RANDOM THOUGHTS August 7)

 

SAFETY RANT AHEAD Workplace accidents covered some headlines besides the three homicides in Lansing in the past week. A third teenager died this summer after becoming entangled in a conveyor system while cleaning a poultry plant at night. This occurred in Mississippi, one of the states working hard to roll back child labor laws. Another State wants to allow 14 year olds to bartend. Now there's a recipe for disaster. Sexual harassment and exploitation of minors is not even a consideration apparently. Because people drinking always make intelligent decisions.

On a personal level I can never get a regular bartender to understand vodka gimlet "up".  Usually get it in a rocks glass...on ice...arghh. Or telling a grasshopper that they have a drink named after them. "Steve he says in surprise".  I know. I had to break the mood. Being shorter would also be a factor when someone asks for "top shelf liquor", but I'm sure they will have safe ladders and other help to reach the lofty location.  Order bar stock-the life you save may be underage. 

I am still infuriated by a Director I accompanied to an awards ceremony at a factory achieving a stellar safety and health record. His private comments to me were "it's all luck anyway, right?" Diplomacy where did I keep that. Also that I didn't deck the guy for his uneducated callous attitude, not to mention repudiation of my entire career, can only be attributed to my legendary self-control. 😉 People don't really want to die or be maimed, but oh well we can just hire another warm body. Don't get me started on the die press that killed two 20 somethings who ran beneath the press between strokes to reset the controls that kept shorting out. Fortunately people lived long enough at the first factory to retire and the clueless "big shot" continued his political career and further bad decisions.

Which makes me think of fear - the great leveler. Two examples from work. A gentleman, after being electrocuted and fortunately brought back to life could never again do the highly dangerous, complicated and well-paid work. During recovery his nearest and dearest kept telling him he would never be safe again. Second example is a line worker with intense burns from a 17k line not only recovered but worked every day in the same capacity. One lost his nerve from fear, the other chose to rely on his training, protective gear and supervision to keep him safe. But it's only luck right?

I'm of the "get back on the horse" type after mayhem, but as I get older I am either more timid or wiser. 

NEVER GETS OLD On a personal level I was reminded this week of a totally Mom/Dad thing we do.  Even though our children are grown and independent we still need an occasional "check-in".  What we want to say "are you still alive? Are you happy? Do you need me for anything?"  Of course we are not quite so literal.  Usually it ends up a quick text (today's vernacular) "how are the roads? (did you make it to where you were going)" "Did you see this ad for thingamajigs/concert/festival/store (are you happy?) "I have a such and such, do you need one? (self-explanatory)"

 I remember the obligatory weekly calls to Mom which were five minutes of news and 45 of crabbing which were her way of posing the three questions. Do I really care that a 2nd cousin twice removed won the Nobel prize for physics or maybe that was a doofus award for showing up at work two days in a row.  Or the price of kumquats is rising, better "get me some". Or your brother/sister/nephew/total stranger did thus and so to who knows who. Miss those calls actually as they told me she was alright, until she wasn't. My way of putting it is "the umbilical cord stretches but it never breaks". 

SEAT ASSIGNMENTS During pandemic as we tentatively ventured back to familiar venues like church I found a spot that suited me. On the end, middle of the church, lots of social distancing. Once the masks were off, people started encroaching. I could make my mean face, but I just get there early. Same spot, still some social distancing but I noticed something interesting. People tend to sit in the same seats. As the OH says Lutherans who arrive early move down the row for newcomers. Catholics grab that aisle seat and only move to let latecomers get into the middle of the row. Same rule applies on a plane for me but at least I can designate an assigned seat. Another pet peeve. I would rarely, if ever, attend a concert/show, etc. unless there are assigned seats. 

Anyway I noticed the three other people in my church row were somewhat infirm (read canes). As I will be sporting my own mobility device after surgery apparently I am already in the right row! 

On our way this afternoon to Soaring Eagle Water Park for a couple of days with the grandboy so publishing early. Of course the weather turned to snot so no mini golf on the way up and no outdoor pool lounging.  Peace out.... 💚  💙💛