HAPPY HALLOWEEN (Oct 30)

PROGRESS REPORT What is the proper attire for physical therapy. Much as I hate to admit it, many of the patients I observe are my age or older however, it is the middle of the day. I have seen everything from Daisy Dukes to a fully rhinetstoned pants suit. I opted for freedom of movement and covering my still interesting yet cringe-worthy battle scars. The staff is young, toned and energetic in the most part. No I can't, yes you can is the overall theme as we all try to please our task masters. I start out grumpy and end the session sharing intimacies of our lives. Well when you have your leg planted up on the therapist's shoulder as she strokes, smoothes and pushes down on (ouch) your tender hamstrings barriers come down.

Nobody looks happy coming to PT so conversation in the wait area is pretty much non-existent. I, of course, want to know "what are you in for?" Usually surprised as I guess wrong. People just kind of point or hold up the injured part. The hip people are amazing compared to the knee people so I want one of those. 'Tis the season so the whole area is massively decorated with Halloween ghosts, witches, cobwebs, pumpkins, devils, etc.  Rather gloomy surroundings for folks in recovery. I wish I was scheduled for Tuesday as I would assume the therapists would come fully costumed with basically mad doctor, scientist or other "death-like" outfits. 

My check-up looming in ten days has me worried that my progress will not be enough to please myself or my Doc.  Performing my stretchies several times a day and now adding my elliptical bike to the routine, but my back and non-operative leg pain persist in hindering my recovery. I literally have to force myself through each exercise session, which I thought should have been a lot easier at this stage. I keep pushing to walk as much as possible. If I knew this was all normal recovery, I would be a little more optimistic.  I am curious to see how long one can go on 2--3 hours of sleep a night. 

POD UPDATE Two meetings last week to discuss future podcasts. The MSU group is torn between "agricultural accidents" and in-depth fatality investigations. Both gruesome, but interesting. As many farms are family-owned they do not fall under the scrutiny of MIOSHA as sole proprietors or family employees. You would be amazed at the number of animal-related deaths and injuries that occur, not to mention the standard trapped in the silo incidents. Another possibility is to discuss the numbers and causes of tree-trimming fatalities that occur in this State. Again usually sole proprietor so not always investigated by MIOSHA. Be sure to get licenses and insurance when hiring the "tree people".  Though several years ago I monitored a tree trimmer program put on by the industry and they were still advocating ineffective protective equipment like bicycle helmets. 

The second meet was an early rehearsal for the Cannabis producer/retailer SkyMint. Mornings are tough as it takes time to unkink my sore and weary body. As it was over ZOOM that also necessitated shower, hair wash/style and makeup. Then the two ladies kept their cameras off!  I warned them they would be seen in the YouTube version of the poddie so be sure to wash/style/shave or whatever they needed to do. I kept asking questions off-script as I was just curious how it all worked but they did not dodge anything. 

One thing I found interesting, and unusual for the Safety world, is how loathe the different cannabis producers are about sharing. For most of us, reinventing the wheel is avoided when an older larger company has already addressed similar challenges. As a new industry (five years since legal) the different producers/vendors are hung up on guarding their individual practices. Another fun fact - they are covered by so many different legal entities they can be inspected several times a week. I ventured a guess that all these folks were just curious, and they did not say I was wrong. That was an advantage of MIOSHA in that I got to experience all types of industries and work practices. Though I took a  pass on touring the chicken incubators and rendering entities. Call me crazy.

MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY Still deciding on whether to go to the Lake for all Hallows as we get zilch kids in Grand Ledge and I optimistically bought a lot of candy. I also have a rep to uphold as I have been "serving" little cups of an alcoholic nature (Hot Damn, Butter Shots) to the cool parents.  I rarely ask for ID. Except for the very tall but very young sounding reveler who refused to remove his mask for a once-over. I'm not that gullible.  Peace out... 💚  💙💛

                                                                

TUNNEL LIGHT AHEAD, I HOPE (Oct 23)

PROGRESS My affair with Ben & Jerry continues unabated as the substitute shopper picked up another pint.  I have been rewarding myself after a particularly difficult PT session with a couple of spoonful's of the decadent dessert. Still 10 lbs down from pre-surgery though. In my right mind I would never have bought the second pint. Thank goodness the OH is looking out for me or worried about my appetite loss. Still long nights but also a couple of firsts. First trip to Meijer for boosters and long walk to the other end of the store to pick up more fruit. Washed dishes a couple of times and am back to laundry duty. Substitute was using too much detergent and using the wrong cycle even with detailed instructions, God love him. Besides it's mostly my unmentionables which just became mentionable. Actually, cleaned bathrooms (somewhat) and ran the vacuum. Followed by a long rest of course. 

The cane has been retired though I did use it in the rainy parking lot. Funny story on the cane however. I stuck it into the shopping cart and then almost impaled a lady trying to get past me in the aisle. I said sorry I was a new user still working out the quirks.  She was immediately sympathetic. Whew lawsuit averted. Do you know that once the therapist notices you are handling an exercise well they up the punishment? I asked my person if she ever gets cussed at. She said yes, but they always apologize lol. They watch your face as they apply the torture to gauge how far they can go. Not a time to be a hero, but you all know how stubborn I am, hence the need for my ice cream fix upon returning home.  Hoping to get back to driving this week however so they are helping me get back my independence. They always tell me what a "good doggie" I am when we finish so that helps too. 

WARNING, TURNING DARK Such an odd feeling to be temporarily disabled. It makes one more emotional when watching the news. Empathizing with the horrible tragedies unfolding and the people affected even more acutely. Feeling helpless to change anything and filled with anger over the injustices suffered by innocent people whose only sins are to be born in the wrong place and caught by the justified cruelty in the name of religion. Then in the US watching the crazies act out with a hell of lot less justification besides ego and power (House of Reps). Also when your co-conspirators plead guilty and agree to testify against you it is time for the MAGA's to fold up their tents. Instead they double down, call in death threats, commit murder-insanity. The world is on the edge of absolute chaos and we're playing games instead of finding solutions together.

CHANGE OF PACE Next interview being set up with some folks from MSU. You know that institution that had what one might call a bad evening last night. No coach, several stars abandoning the team and entering the transfer portal, no offense/defense and no QB kind of hobbles one's efforts. This of course on the heels of Harbaugh's latest scandal for which no doubt he will give himself 3 whacks with a hockey stick on his derriere in the name of corporal punishment. When you resort to sketchy tactics it rather explains why you can beat up the league then embarrass yourself on the national stage. The entry of the West Coast teams next year should prove interesting. 

Two pre-interviews I have planned this week have turned into ZOOM meetings. As I normally conduct the pre on the phone I may now have to don make-up and coif the hair so as not to scare my potentials with my ghostlike pallor. Perfect for Halloween though. Tentatively planning our usual trip to the Lake to hand out treats and booze to the neighborhood. We get zilch in Lansing so we have been celebrating my favorite holiday where the little people actually roam.

NOW THAT'S FUNNY Funny thing happened at PT. You are all soldiers fighting your individual battles there but you do talk. When my therapist had me go back and forth across the room - march/knees high; walk like you're crossing puddles; then the killer - heel on one foot against toe of other. I told her I couldn't do that for the cops so I'm pretty sure you're out of luck. Brought down the house.

 Another good news item. Billboard Chart published the top 500 Best Pop songs, and my baby sister's fave was No. 2 Dancing Queen. She always believed that was written for her as she was "just seventeen" at the time. That made her "so very happy". In the icing portion of my PT visit I was softly singing a Blood Sweat & Tears classic (for some reason I have been getting music bugs in my head when in pain) and my therapist was clueless. Though she did volunteer her Grandma liked Ricky (Frankie) Valli...sigh. Just when you think you're relevant.   Peace Out  💚 💙💛

MINISTRY OF FUNNY WALKS (October 16)

 

Well one of those days.  Mama said there would be days like this (cue the music).  Up and feeling good and then crash, boom, crunch @##$% kind of day. I appreciate folks hanging in there as I am working at about 50% at this point.  Knee coming along, stamina not so much. But the real problem is my back as we spend our nights together trying to find the one magic position that does not result in a squirmy achy pot of jello. Sorry trying not to be negative but blew that ship out to sea already. 

However, my next podcast script is done and date set for recording. Following up my standards-based program about the grow industry of cannabis with folks from SkyMint talking about the real nitty gritty of retail challenges and security.  With all my recent activity researching the industry you would think I would have reached out for some "chemical" help at this point of my surgical recovery but I'm staying strong. Odd that after much begging for speakers, I now have at least four in the "wait room" and no energy to pursue. Some of this is self-inflicted as I have forsworn the walking assists and am relying totally on myself at this point so there's progress (even, stupidly stairs). The therapy folks are always waxing poetic about how great I am doing so I am doing my best to represent. I would love to find a lightweight portable stool though I could carry around.

Doctor visit was welcome as my final bandage was removed (ouch? actually not so much) and I was able to shred the horrendous compression stockings - yay. He was happy with my progress but I believe more admiring of his needlework.  He said he would not have to give me a "Dad lecture" as I was improving.  I pointed out I was old enough to be his Mother so try again. Ran into an old work chum from MIOSHA who was on her 2-week checkup for a total ankle replacement-no weight bearing for six weeks-so one can always find someone worse off. Meanwhile I'm up to riding a bike in therapy so I reward myself with another sliver of Ben & Jerry when I get home from PT-seems fair. 

Oops, experiencing a power outage AGAIN so trying to preserve how much the generator is handling. Need my "potty power" and heat more than laptop.  Hopefully this is not a long one-though it's about the 3rd one since the big storm a couple of months ago. Peace Out ....💚 💙💛

I REALLY KNEE'D THAT (October 9)

 I'm back. Or at least most of me. I am now 1/16th robotic woman (just a guess). Quite an adventure thus far and more fun to come. On the bright side, I have lost 9 pounds since surgery. I guess one needs to "bulk up" before major surgery. However, I would not recommend this method of weight loss. I have been eating a lot healthier as 1) I have no choice; and 2) drugs do wreak havoc with one's snacking gene.  Though I will admit an intimate encounter with Ben and Jerry last night where I skimmed the top off the little pint of caramel, fudge etc. etc creamy dream. But this was the treat at the end of the 210-calorie healthy veggie bowl I had for dinner. I wonder if this foray into good eating will last. 

My last fully conscious day (day of surgery) occurred after the multiple tasks of cleaning one's person, clothes and sheets which also ranks up there as my last normal night of sleep. Then upon entering the inner sanctum of pre-op I had to strip down naked and wash again with six separate sheets of, thankfully warm, cloths. The hospital gowns are high-tech with an air-blown system hooked up that you control from hot to cold.  However still breezy in the back which I never understood. Then at least three of us autographed my leg. I was ready to play tic-tac-toe, but they took the pen away. It's all fun and games until someone gets the actual surgery. 

 There was a whole team of anesthesiologists introduced to me, like we're going for drinks later. Then the "training" session with a resident who got to insert, who knows, their first spinal needle for the block. Fun and terrifying to watch on the screen as her boss guided and complimented her technique. It worked as life stopped existing below the belt. My last conscious moment was seeing four masked marauders on my left and three on the right sliding a board under me and slipping me like a slippery eel onto the operating table. Without a chance for a witticism - I was gone. 

Waking an hour and half later I was able to actually make a couple of phone calls. This is known as the "honeymoon" period when one has not tried to walk yet and there is no pain. I was even able to order lunch. Do you know how unhealthy the choices are at a hospital? Though I was able to order a salad. But better off than my "fellow" recovery patients as one kept complaining loudly about being "hangrey" and no one there to give him a ride. and another having continual dry heaves. I was dubbed "the good patient" by the RN in charge.

This passes when rehab gets their hands on you. They are very matter-of-fact and, I'll say it, cruel! Anyway, she ties this harness around me and says she'll hold my gown together as she marches me through both rooms of recovery. Hello world-welcome to the full moon. Then tells me to use the walker to climb 3 steps-yeah right. I did, but a more unsafe way to mount a little platform I have never seen. All this activity along with multiple cupfuls of water and nature would not be denied. I bee lined for the restroom with the rehab lady gallantly trying to keep my assets covered. Niagara could not have been more splendid if I say so myself. That meant I met the tests of mobility and potty training and could be released. The other method of elimination took several more days but eventually all is in working order. 

The OH had set up the wheelchair ramp to the back door for my entry. However, neither one of us realized the angle would be so unfriendly to wheeled walkers as I was threatened with the possibility of rolling backwards onto the garage floor. I abandoned the walker and took an arm. Over the course of time, I am getting adept at walker, cane and free-lancing (grabbing walls). But I have to demonstrate a variety of dance steps for the Doctor this week with the walker. The phrase I have heard the most the last 10 days is SLOW DOWN. PT started immediately in addition to performing 3 sets of exercises every day. Plus I have to get up and move/walk/stumble every hour.  The thought that I would be sitting around eating bon bons and reading trashy novels went away immediately. This is work! 

Especially love the sexy white TED compression socks I have to wear all day. As far as panty hose goes you can't destroy these suckers, which of course makes them a challenge to put on. I only needed help the first day and I rinse them out myself-autonomy and all that. I even started taking showers after two days including hair washing though the first couple of times were exhausting. So I am improving, but a long way to go.

I now switch to outside physical therapy though it was sure nice with the therapists coming to the house as they were insistent but compassionate. From what I hear that was Purgatory and the next few weeks will dip closer to Hell (for us Catholics who like to differentiate and rate after-life punishments). Speaking of PT, I just completed my first load of laundry so went up and down stairs at least three times. I showed OH how to perform the function, and he has, but I just had to get back to it. It all counts as exercise right? Even took a ride OUTSIDE to my daughter's house to reassure my grandson I was pretty much intact. He attached himself to my good side while we talked and he performed. 

Even after 10 days or so it is still a major surprise every time I get up and realize "I ain't right". Going to take a while.  Peace out....💚  💙💛