DOGGEREL (November 27)

MY FAVORITE DOG This week had its highs and lows-that's life. Began by saying good-by to our grand-dog Zoe. She was two years older than JP and though Dad's dog, she was always protective of the boy and a companion when he came home from school. Animals keep you from looking crazy when you hold those one-way conversations. Brittany's are affectionate and loyal, but this girl went above and beyond showing herself as the perfect lady no matter the circumstances. I often said her master could be eating steak two feet from her nose and she would never lower herself to beg but patiently waited until the treat was offered. 

LIFE WITH JP As school was out for the week, we had the pleasure of the boy's company for two days (plus the time that Zoe was put down). His new bowling name is JPawesome which I pronounced J- Pawsome to his amusement. He was nailing the strikes, so he was happy. However the bowling pro said his beginner ball would probably only fit for about another month - hint, hint. Lunched at one of his favorites as he can order chicken alfredo from the kid's menu (one of the few places he is interested in seeing a baby menu).

I am not sure where the bartenders of today are getting their training. Apparently, they can only pour wine, beer or bubble gum drinks. Upon requesting a vodka gimlet (usually made with gin) I got blank stares. I explained it's simple composition-vodka & lime juice, shaken not on the rocks. The bartender then said he had no cocktail glasses unless I wanted a martini glass but no stems. Ok-now I'm confused. At any rate he had to go to his "bartender book" to make it; I'm not kidding.  This exchange prompted JP's grasshopper bar joke. Again, the bartender has apparently never heard of this drink either though the waiter though it was hilarious as he dragged the hapless barkeep over to hear it. Then we had to explain it- geez. At this point JP was confused as well. Hey, the OH and I get our chuckles where we can. I'm notorious for ordering vodka gimlets and the accompanying explanation. As the daughter of a man who's bartended as a side gig we know our booze.

DIGRESS:  The last statement reminds me of a Dad story. He had explained that top shelf liquor was the "name" stuff and the bar's regular stock was fine. To prove my superior knowledge that better liquor tastes better I ordered him Bombay instead of whatever bar swill he was drinking. He was right-he found no difference. However as he and I proceeded to finish off the evening with more than one drink at more than one establishment it was clear that they all work to create equal amounts of inebriation (we had a designated driver). Found out the VFW sells $1 beers which I found to be a mistake later in the evening, and the next morning when I had to do a safety presentation to a construction group....So those dudes that are trying to impress with their fancy Tanqueray, Goose's and Crown it all ends up the same. With the exception of Crown on the rocks of course. If you mix, it all works, like whiskey and squirt don't fall for the upgrade. There's a subliminal message when they only display the fancy stuff on the "top shelf" lol. Thanks Dad. 

TURKEY TROTS Enjoyed two turkey days at two different locations over three days. Well, I have two houses and multiple family groups. Although the turkey was not, I was literally stuffed. We gave up on stuffing the bird long ago and just make the dressing without inner bird assistance. Less messy and gravy covers all. Now time to get creative with leftovers though we gave away as much as possible. I'm afraid my massive weight loss after surgery has been undermined especially as we were mainlining Redi-Whip directly to the mouth without benefit of dessert. Which reminds me of Mom as the practice started one Christmas when someone did not want to wait. 

On the negative side this week, my sis's KIA became the latest victim to the KIA ragers that snagged it right out of their driveway and proceeded to wreck it-to a point. BUT, the week ended with her joy at the brand-new KIA she received on Friday which may not have ever happened without the initial tragedy. Things happen for a reason; Karma's a bitch; when a door closes a window opens, etc. etc. 

LIFE WITH JP 2.0 In this JP-packed week he had a chance to share some 5th grader stories. For instance, he is not the class clown, surprise. As he tends to unconsciously sing during study time and has to be reminded to lower the decibel level, he is known as the crazy class singer which is apparently a positive with his peers.  Well, could be called worse I suppose. Also, after the bartender debacle at Appleby's the other day he has determined he wants to be a bartender/comedian. Already has his first joke when he serves Angry Orchard as he will claim it's made from crabapples. The boy has a future. 

Oh yeah, Michigan beat OSU, the only time I vote blue. BTW the blue & yellow hearts I use are for Ukraine not the Har-by boys prefaced by MSU green.   Peace out.....💚  💙💛

                                                                

THE SHOW GOES ON (November 20)

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF D.C.  "Sit down. Sit down. You're a United States Senator." Who would have thought ancient "socialist" Bernie Sanders would have to break up an MMA fight in the middle of a Congressional hearing? This is where the monkey show has taken us folks. At least Senator Sanders wasn't wearing mittens as he waved his hand around. I don't even blame the Teamsters President for accepting the challenge to fight as the Oklahoma Senator claimed his people elected him to apparently "respond with violence". But one thinks the Teamsters may not be the smartest group to "piss off" unless you like "swimming with the fishes" plus they love confrontation LOL. Points to the dude from Massachusetts. 

MISCELLANEOUS Well apparently "de-leafing" is done for the season. There are two stubborn trees who grip their bright yellow buddies until the last hung is dog. Wind, rain, hail do not detract them from their role of leaf hoarder extraordinaire. After years of gathering, bagging and dumping, we have finally joined the mulch brigade which merely requires a blade set to crunch and munch once a week resulting in a healthier lawn in the Spring. Even cleaned up the lake lawn with yours truly wielding a rake for a time. Surprisingly that did not trigger the back pain - only a nice comfy bed holds that dubious honor.  

The Sweet sisters managed to pull off a multi-birthday celebration lunch this week with the eight of us pretty much taking over the restaurant. But we tip well. Big Sis provided cupcakes for the honorees, and I splurged on a dozen infamous Crumbl Cookies. Note to self: they are not that good a day or two later. I guess it's all about the prestige of the brand. As long as we avoid politics or "rising to the bait" we have a great time. Odd fact: the OH and all three of my brothers-in-law are left-handed; the ladies are right-handed and the kids are a mix. 

EVENTS Watching Silver Bells in the City the other night made me recall my days at the City where we had front row seats to the spectacle with my fourth-floor office facing the Capital. We would put on our own "mocktail" party which apparently food-wise was better than the mayor's soiree (his words). Not too many know the number of faux pas' that occur when planning a big event, but you soon realize the attendees will never know what they're missing. I had the dubious honor of planning the first BWL employee picnic and, unfortunately was also tapped to organize the City Employee Recognition events until I left. I privately would not have attended these events (too much employee interaction in my job) if I wasn't running the darn things.

The BWL picnic hosted tours, a fishing tournament and line worker rodeo. I also had to confiscate these incredibly cute and detailed posters we were giving to the kids that depicted a cartoonish and colorful downtown map. However, they also depicted two dogs going at it in an alley - a small but significant oops. As a collector's item I did keep a couple... for research of course. You'd think I was trying to make kids read "The Diary of Ann Frank" from the parent reaction, who of course wondered if there were any extra copies after I threw them away.

The City event was not funded in advance the first year, so all the Directors had to canvass for donations. I said I would do anything but ask strangers for money. Be careful what you wish for.  Fortunately, I never stopped to realize the enormity of organizing a 300-600 person (never knew how many would show up) outdoor event providing food, activities and entertainment. I did have some dedicated workers who were a lot more social and came up with and coordinated the entertainment ideas. But it did teach me how to delegate (or die) to any stray body I could commandeer. If you act like you know what you're doing and bark orders, it works. Also learned to take complaints and criticisms during the event in stride knowing nothing was going to change but thanks for playing; smile, nod, wink-wink. 

The second year, upon instruction to use a particular vendor, I slowly came to the realization they had never catered an event of this size before. Which was discovered as people were lined up for food and waiting and waiting and waiting. The vendor cried to me "those teenage boys are taking more than one chicken leg!" Well a big duh to you lady. I think we had a lot of desserts that year from a different vendor so crisis (or salmonella averted). On the positive side the daughter got to try out all the activities ahead of everyone as her reward for working with me all day. And I preserved the HR department reputation by knocking out the Public Service Director in Sumo wrestling. When you're smaller a good offense will prevail.

PODLAND Got another podcast in the can last week and a couple more in the "waiting room". My hope is to knock off as many as I can so I can take a break. Our Executive Director for the Conference is an amazing workaholic. When I tuned into ZOOM before the recording, she revealed she was recording from the hospital as she had been admitted a couple days before. I assured her a postponement was entirely understandable and she did have staff, but she said she felt great and was working away. We do not argue with our leader. I thought I was bad taking work into doctor's appointments as they are always running late, but that is a whole new level of dedication. A toast to all those who keep the machines running!   Peace Out....💚 💙💛

SCORPIO TIMES (NOV 13)

PROGRESS OR LACK THEREOF REPORT Well much to my consternation in the chicken coops apparently my remedial shot in the back was met with chuckles and derision by said backside. In other words - not effective. Just muddling through is getting old. On the plus side, my knee is doing well and the scar is past the "ick" stage. Surgeon was pleased though he should watch all that personal back patting or he will pop a rotator cuff. He referred me to his "favorite" orthopedic back surgeon who speedily set up an appointment for, wait for it, March 6, 2024! At least his name is funny Winkelpleck. I can only imagine how that type of speedy treatment works for folks truly bedridden or unmotivated. I think we may need to look a little further or maybe it's just an indication that this area is full of orthopedic challenged "older" people. 

RUMP EFFECT Considering the craziness of the times one can only marvel at the lack of intelligence unleashed over the last several years prefaced of course with, if you don't like the outcome do not accept it-facts be damned. Ohio GOOP, after two solid rejections by its citizens to curtail women's rights is now trying to circumvent judicial oversight to cases brought before them related to abortion. Huh? Michigan GOOP is trying to impeach the Attorney General for indicting "confessed" fake electors for the 2020 Presidential election. 2nd huh? And oh joy this year marks the largest amount of vaccine exemptions granted. So, polio, etc. formerly eradicated, will now have a chance to regroup. Too bad for the naturally immune compromised folks who get exposed. How Christian of you'all.

 For those who think the courts are not treating the ex-prez with respect how many of us would get away with threatening and name-calling of the judge FROM THE WITNESS STAND and not be thrown into jail for contempt of court.  Apparently there is no respect, decorum or class anywhere in the GOOP world. This is not normal people.

IRRITAING WORDS & FUN STATEMENTS Veggies, kiddos, sus, bae to name a few that seem to be common vernacular. "Furious Ohio goop reports widespread incidents of women voting." "How do we flush an unflushable turd?"  A family claiming to be financial/business geniuses apparently do not know how their business works when questioned under oath. "Old age has slowed me down but hasn't shut me up." Fun stuff.

Speaking of jeans. You know the ones that are grossly ripped apart upon purchase yet costing an arm and two legs. Do you suppose the jean factory has people assigned to create those big holes? Through wear, scissors or just a lot of "oops" moments? Aren't the wearers going to be cold and wet? And what stops them from completely ripping apart? In college it was a badge of honor to wear your frayed bell bottoms mostly because you spent your extra cash on wine and pot. Not to mention to be truly cool one's hem needed to drag on the floor. Ok - guess we were just as dumb then about abused clothing. 

                                                

PERSONAL STUFF We were taken out to lunch by the daughter and grandson for my birthday and I actually, miracle, accepted a 20-minute wait time as apparently everyone on the west side chose that restaurant for the holiday. Though we did hear some mumbling about "state workers" getting the day off cluttering up things. Of course, JP was dramatically dying of hunger and his Mom and Nana didn't carry crackers-note to self. I was shamelessly willing to use my handicap sticker but a parking spot in front of the door was amazingly available. K pointed out that the advantage of us driving was to enjoy the elevated status.  I keep forgetting I have the wheelie card for a couple of months, though actually most handicap spaces are already filled when I get anywhere. There's a lot of us apparently though it makes you wonder how and why we are so mobile. 

One advantage of sleeping in fits and starts is that I remember a lot of dreams as I never seem to get past the REM stage as a shift in position triggers a painful wakeup call. A lot of people from my past (alive and otherwise) and strange scenarios, many focused around being late and having to use the bathroom. Some are actual full stories where I am back in school, teaching a class or working a job. I'd be fascinated rather than irritated if I actually got any restorative sleep, but then I wouldn't remember them...Peace out 💚💙💛

DINOSAURS AND LUBRICANT (Nov 6)

 PROGRESS REPORT - Alleluia - pain doc immediately scheduled one of those epidural shots in my much mis-aligned spine - good news. Bad new-it got postponed for two days meaning no pain meds for three days. I was definitely a candidate as I stumbled into the office bent over like a drunken pretzel to get my "fix". "You need sedation?" "I'm at a 7 pain level so no, I don't need no stinkin' sedation, stab away". Face buried in the massage-type table we were all having a little chit chat before the procedure. As my answers were mumbled into my mattress hole the nurses translated. They are polite about one's tattoos and very gentle as they pull your stretchy pants down to your "bu-tocks" crack. "Wiggle your foot around" conjuring images of possible paralysis, but at a 7 level one simply does not care. Took two of them to walk me back to my chair afterwards though. Not sure what they do with the ones who need knock-out juice. I rewarded myself with a multi-grain pancake at "Flap Jack Shack" afterwards. I now sleep, but PT is postponed, and the "cure" is not quite all the way-fingers crossed. 

POLITICS. Don't want to go there, but there is so much to wade through last week. Another mass shooting with no red flag laws and ample warnings from all around about the shooter and congress says nothing they can do except pray. Ahem - actually they are the ONLY ones who can change the laws. How can they be so out of touch with the majority of Americans who favor some sensible gun laws, women's choice and marriage equality? Who the hell do they represent? 

Remembering the horror when JFK, a Catholic was elected President as apparently, he would be controlled by the Pope, one can only be gob smacked by the House electing a man who actively tried to overthrow a legitimate election; who wants to rule by the Bible; has no knowledge of science or logic (God given) and loves putting dinosaurs and cavemen together. Whatever happened to religious freedom and there being more than one way to love your God/gods. Where will the snake lovers go to be accepted? Plus after the speaker says he takes his world view from the Bible, I guess we will see legislation banning seafood and pork and go from there. The possibilities are endless. 

Of course, our favorite crime family were all brought into Court to explain "I know nothing and I can prove it" while the chief "unflushable" claims threatening witnesses and attacking a judge and staff is protected free speech. Maybe it's just me, but what does that have to do with the ability to campaign where one talks about issues, etc. 

FURTHER FUN  Actually, walked mighty Meijers using the cart as my cane - less mayhem and injuries to unwary shoppers that way. I am phasing strenuous exercise back to protect and encourage my precious supply of spine juice to do its job but did three loads of laundry with the accompanying upstairs and downstairs that required. Downtime consists of hanging my new knee by the ankle so as to allow gravity to pull the hamstring down to match the "good" knee. There are many nuances to recovery they don't really explain very well. Dancinig is out, but trying to walk on my toes gets extra points in PT. 

Recorded my second podcast on cannabis by interviewing the retail side and just completed a draft script for the next program on agricultural injuries and fatality investigations. One thing I can say about the series - they are diverse! I was discussing the need for the podcast committee to "vette" potential interviewees to save me some time. Our Executive Director said (I'm sure she thought it was a compliment) "nobody wants to do what you do".  LOL. 

                                                               

ALL HALLOWS After the cruel postponement of my spine tingler; I was too sore to ride to the lake for our annual candy and a shot for the neighbors. I am sure we were missed. Saw only about 15 or 20 folks here so LOTS of candy left over which the OH immediately put into a bowl in plain sight. Not the best plan for healthy weight maintenance. Apparently, I am too weak to put it in a less conspicuous place or something. The boy went as a "nasty" Harlequin, I believe.  Peace out...💚👺  💙💛