BRING ON THE BUBBLY (December 30)

"May you live in interesting times." (Coudert) Blessing or curse? I don't think I can take any more damn interesting times. 

YOU GONNA EAT THAT? Service with a smile or at a least a modicum of efficiency is a goal when dining out. Is it just me, or have the servers upped their game a bit? Friendlier, competent less order screw-ups or dropped trays. Interesting the impact on society from every bump and grind of the economy. I'm thinking that with the rising cost of everything (especially food) only the best workers are being retained on a paper-thin profit margin. Slower, maybe, but more satisfying outcome. Happy to tip the max under those circumstances.

 Beats arguing with the help. Or service that is both slow and bad. Those excruciating experiences after a bouncy hostess has you seated. Then long wait for anyone. Then long wait for water-long wait for taking drink order-long wait for getting drink-long wait for taking order-long wait to get said order...wrong.  Where we deliberately trip a passing server to receive food any food after a lonnnngggg wait. "No, I'm pretty sure I didn't order goat cheese, but I am really positive I said no to goat roast hash surprise." "Chef's surprise for dessert in a seafood restaurant is a definite pass. "And no, I am not paying for the table that I nodded politely to when seated...wait they're getting away!" Dine and dash is on you buddy. Then the server with more energy than shown throughout the dining ordeal scrambling after you to protest the "change" you left as a disincentive and hint to get out of the service industry. 

RUH OH Christmas disaster averted at the 11th hour. JP has been suffering that teenage bane - braces - for the past year which is crucial to the story. Picked him up Monday for a couple hours to wrap presents and help Nana decorate sugar cookies (news flash-he participated gamely, but said it wasn't his favorite activity). He was hoping bowling was on the agenda. Darn they grow up too fast. Anyway at 10 am he has not had breakfast yet, of course, and we stop at McD's. In line at the drive-through I hear an "Oh no" from the back seat. He apparently just broke his expander/retainer-pandemonium ensues (not really). Ruh oh. Monday before the holiday. Texted his Mom and explained said disaster. Her one-word response "Super" which kind of sums it up. She's working but manages to get in touch with the Ortho while he munches his sausage mcmuffin w/o said dental appliance. 

Can you make an 11:20 appointment at the Docs? Sure, no problem. He gets examined, measured and an appt for 4:20 to get rewired. Since the office is closed after Monday until January 2, it was a freakin' madhouse in the office of teenage angst and nubie drivers with an ice storm a'coming. His Mother met us at 4:30 so we didn't have to make a delivery. She texted a couple of hours later and said that evening one of his "baby" molars popped out-no doubt from the stronger pressure from the new expander. She stated she was quite "over" her son's oral issues at this point. LOL. Holidays always have at least one memorable moment.  Though the boy was convinced he was going to be in trouble, get yelled at and this would kibosh any Christmas gifts. None of which happened, however. Half the kids in the doc's office were probably getting something tightened, installed or fixed but JP is the drama kid. 

Christmas Dinner was lasagna at the daughter and s-i-l's house. He loves turkey but is never satisfied with his efforts for juiciness, so he sticks with what he knows. All I care about is we don't have to get ready for, entertain, cook and clean up after the horde. Cool. No white elephant game however as the s-i-l believes the rules are complicated and never adhered to. He is insisting on a notarized set of rules for next year. Pooh-what fun is that? Still remember Dad dancing around and shaking each unknown gift to pick the best one. Hilarious. Especially when he picked the gift, he brought the year before the following year. He did not remember, but he thought it was an awesome choice showing great taste and imagination. You think? Only he would think a newsboy cap was the height of fashion. 

 (Charlie Brown) "You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I'm only going to dread one day at a time" In the world of marmalade and billionaires what choice do we have? Keep fighting. But first we toast.

 Happy New Beer or any other happy libation you fancy... Peace, and we do need Peace, out 💚  💛💙

WHAT'S THE ALPHABET WITH NOEL? (December 23)

CHESTNUTS RESTING ON AN OPEN...Ahh Winter. The feel of Jack Frost nipping under your skirt (without tights? are you crazy). The lovely feel of wheels sliding out from under you as you drift into the snowbank on the right, the left, heading for the ditch...finally right side up on the opposite of the street facing the wrong way- whew. Shoveling 4 inches of beautiful powdery little flakes that weigh more with each shovelful. Just in time for the frickin' snowplow to trundle up the street dumping snow snots onto your freshly uncovered driveway...laughing all the way - cue music. I hate....Wait a minute. Sun's out and everything looks like glistening diamonds and the roads are clear and dry so what the hey, winter's ok. 

We appear to be hosting a B&B for deer this year. With the mild winter last year and less hunters, the mature dudes are still around, and the younger ones been "getting busy". After demolishing our bushes and attacking the bird feeder, a squad has taken over the back yard which is technically a rest stop on the way to the river. They have been climbing on the deck to get at the juicy seed on the ground and resting next to the wooded area in the yard. Nothing like a set of antlers gazing back at you when you peep out the patio doors at 3 in the morning. Don't ask.

                                                     

JAM TIME "I got dumped and all I got was this stinkin' ambassadorship to Greece" (phrase borrowed from a friend). Well as break-up consolation prizes go, that's a winner. Even if you are not fond of souvlaki or gyros being a gal from California and all. Course all the good "mexican" food will be leaving along with the legitimate immigrants who are getting caught up in the mass hysteria of forcible deployment back to, in some cases, a place they've never been. Quick how does one stop looking ethnic?

For all those still waiting on cheap gas and cheaper groceries, marmalade told Time mag that well, it's hard to bring something down once it's up - oh really? There's no big knob to turn off inflation? No spigot to steal water from Canada? Of course, once he and muskie make Canada the 51st state it's all gravy. That's also in a week where they created chaos on the debt ceiling. Wow, just wow. And half of 'merica believed this hockey puck? Enjoy the ride-this is only the beginning for Pres-elect muskie and VP marmalade. Though in extensive research, I have not found one person who voted for muskie. Also considering he was born in South Africa and not being eligible it explains why he had to take the backdoor route. Can you spell o-l-i-g-a-r-c-h (a class perfected in russia). 

WORLD OF POD Completed the January program recording last week and learned how badly emergency responders and health care workers are abused at work. I mean, I knew but not in detail. Part of their training program includes live video of health care workers being "literally" abused. The thrust of the training developed was teaching "situational awareness". Knowing where you are and what risk you might be encountering. As nursing staff is programmed to be compassionate and hands on they had to learn to be a little more wary and hesitant when entering a situation/room, etc. Family members are even more volatile at times. Another interesting fact was training was developed among various disciplines, security (police), nurses, emergency personnel, etc. I complimented them on that aspect as what seems to be a logical collaboration, often results in different groups have their own "way of doing things" and don't appreciate outside scrutiny or opinion for that matter. 

Most of my threats came as a Personnel Director. In Safety, usually it was the management that threatened, but only verbally lol. I had to come up with my own security/escape plans. File 11 meant run do not walk and get the dudes with uniforms and pistols. Irate applicants were upset but usually not armed. After an employee threatened to blow up the building (and me) I instituted a locked door, high counter between you and the visitor policy unless we knew the perp. Friendly but wary. So now you know why I have to see the Exit whenever I am seated. I mentally plan my escape route or hiding place. In church I'm sliding under the pew and wiggling out worm-like. Assume absolute panic and the closest door not being accessible unless you like doing the wave under people's feet.  Have a Plan B.

Next month I will be interviewing the head of Michigan Occupational Safety & Health Administration (MIOSHA). We were catching up at a meeting this week. He humorously (I guess) repeated for the nth time to go "easy on him" in the interview.  I've known Bart for years and worked on projects for him when I was at MIOSHA. Either he hasn't listened to my podcasts, or he really is nervous about the interview. I always script ahead of time so they know the questions that will be asked. I may take it as a compliment that he thinks I'm tough as he actually tried to get me to postpone retirement and interview for the Director of Construction Enforcement. No pitiful petunia could have done that job, but he thought I could.  LOL.

Well since we must stick with tradition ending on a humorous note: How do festive sheep greet one another? Fleece Navidad of course.  All the best of Christmas to you and yours. Peace out...💚  💙💛

PS: NO L (get it?)  Merry Crustrove Randoob

THE ART OF THE BEEF (December 16)

Heard in my house recently.."I remember being able to get up without making sound effects..Good times!"

SARCASM or is it? I've determined I have not complained enough in my life. I say embrace your god-given crotchetiness and bitch at someone, somewhere, some anything. Go rain on someone's parade. Don't hold back on criticizing clothes, manners, service or just feeling feisty and find it too much effort to hold back. Don't go to your deathbed regretting the times you bit your tongue for the sake of peace and got your butt handed to you for your meekness. Let loose the devils of never being satisfied with the status quo. It is so liberating. Cooperation pooh. Squeaking wheels do get the grease. Especially when dealing with obviously inferior beings. 

I need to go back to all those times when I should have said "no, man it's not ok and you're a dumb (emphasis) ass." Why must those of higher intellect suffer fools gladly as the saying goes. So mind-numbing. We get to pick our friends, not be friends with everyone. Something the wisdom of "older age" teaches you. Drugs and pain are a real leveler/destroyer of politeness and restraint. Just saying. Quite useful when dealing with medical issues. If you just "go along" you will be months waiting for the lackadaisical limited largesse of the insurance world and abbreviated appointments.  So be a sticky wicket, hurdle, hindrance, bitch, impatient pain in the rear and enjoy the moment. 

IRONIC MOMENT - Isn't it interesting that Mangione was apprehended the same day that Perry was acquitted of murder. One killed in the name of heartless greed in health care, another killed reacting to a victim of the same system. Neither death is to be celebrated. 

OUTTA BE A LAW A democratic rep from Florida immediately changed to repub after election. Not to be outdone, a West Virginian elect turns from red to blue after election. (Unfortunately, he also threatened to kill other legislators). Seems rather underhanded, though and voters are being lied to. I would "assume" they knew they wouldn't win based on the color of their tie in the particular district they were trying to steal but still. Wonder how they managed the straight faceiness needed to embrace the platform of the "others" and not get caught when they sneered at the rainbow or celebrated ghost guns. 

Meanwhile marmalade keeps plucking rotting flowers from the house and senate to be in his administrative garden. Sole requirements- ability to wallow in manure (fertilizer), pledge undying allegiance and agree to be placed under the bus as needed, to the two? presidents we apparently elected. The house majority was already slim so all good. Keep on a'plucking. Even McConnell (a polio survivor) was not kind to the RFK choice. Mittens from Utah admitted he misjudged the American people. Welcome to the club. Oh, and give your son a solid by shipping his girlfriend to Greece. 

 

TWO SEASONS Michigan humor of winter and construction season. Though the way people are already having a problem with keeping between the lines and slamming the ditches with a little bit of snow we still have not admitted to the season change. Of course, heading back to temps in the 50's is not helping the mindset. Drive like your critical grandmother is in the car, because heck, your grandmother is in the other car sliding into your space. However, as the tail of construction is still wagging driving around the city is an adventure of epic proportions. How early to leave for an appointment on, merely, the other side of town? Maybe about an hour, or two. Checking the MDOT website has become a daily occurrence. Impish detours keep cropping up and I've watched many a car dare the odds and end up needing to back up 300 yards when choosing wrong. Add a bit of rain, snow or dark of night and the fun gets serious. Call it detour roulette where the numbers on the wheel keep changing position.

Busy weekend taking the boy Christmas shopping and rehearsing for the podcast recording tomorrow so will cut this short. Why am I only now learning what he really wanted for Christmas as we peruse the shops. Note to self: have shopping trip earlier in season Peace out...💚  💙💛

BLACK DOVES (December 9)

My idea of housework is giving the room a sweeping glance...Unfortunately I am cursed with knowing dirt when I see it after the housecleaners have been here. Not sure what I'm expecting but I thought washing floors would be part of it; not dusting my myriad of knickie knackies on the living room shelves. Doing bathrooms and cleaning those dang glass tables is the best of their work, however. 

MARMALADE COMICS Has to be said. Biden should have done his pardon (I don't have problem with it) and said nothing else. No justification, no malarkey, no nothing, nada. Mr Felony of course railed at the injustice of it all, but now he has more justification (as if he needed it) to release his personal mob from Jan 6 as every little dictator needs his private army. I especially find amusing that the gang of three (marmalade, muskie and higgly piggly-hegseth) are clutching their pearls and bemoaning family values. Between them they have multiple liaisons, children and have cheated on all their mates. 

Marmie uses his sperm offerings as cannon fodder when needed or to get out of court. This is the same loving person who buried his beloved first? wife on his golf course but I am sure that had nothing to do with cemeteries beings tax-exempt but an act of respect and esteem. A wonderful resting place among the rolling green hills-oops, ball landed right on top of that mound there. And muskie with his 12 oddly named and strategically placed (away from him) offspring with names like jackhammer and moon doggie I believe. And higgly's own Mother condemned him as a man who drinks and then berates and disrespects women putting him squarely on Santa's naughty list. The milk of human kindness has definitely curdled.

Further hilarity ensues when turtle man (McConnel) is appalled with the partisanship shown as several federal judges delay their retirement after the red election. OMG-stings when we use your playbook aye?

DRIVING WHILE CRAZY So when did turn signals become optional. I love the game of will she or won't she (turn that is). Is it obvious? Are the wheels cocked a certain direction? Should I take a chance. Nope usually fooled by the eventual direction taken. These are the same folks who dodge in front of you and go below the speed limit. They have established their place and by gum the rest is up to you - followed by the screeching of brakes and a disgusted look from the chaos causing driver ahead. Cars are too comfortable as folks appear to be directing their vehicle similar to how they ride their lounger, head below seat level, soda and popcorn to the ready. Dashboard screens as wide as their home-grown televisions prompting attention everywhere than the road ahead. The equivalent of self-driving cars and gosh are we ever ready for them. 

As a defensive driving alumni, I probably infuriate rather than act as a stress reliever to others. I know that as when going precisely 3 miles over the speed limit I am constantly passed. Often where space for passing is non-existent. I sneer at your double yellow line; the shoulder is for winners; speed limits are merely suggestions for turtle people. 

DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN I must have one of those faces. I am constantly being accosted by friend and foe with "don't I know you?" Weird thing is, they probably do. Saw a woman in college I hadn't seen since the 3rd grade and she ran right up to me and said my name. I, of course, was clueless. Either I never age (LOL) or I am terrible at remembering faces. Probably a good thing I don't remember as I have the blessing/curse of getting people to reveal their darkest secrets from my days as an investigator upon a short meeting. Often it is because I am interested especially when a person is shy or reticent and I enjoy getting them to open up. But sometimes that intense understanding stare may actually be boredom and not an invitation to spill; unless it's required.  I have perfected the internal yawn on those occasions. 

Anyway, last week saw a lady who looked vaguely familiar and I'm going through my church? BWL? City? MIOSHA? podcast interview? pissed off union person? litany of where do I know them from? Got drunk and barfed on them? Who knows. She immediately said "I know you, I'm Elaine".  Instantly remembered. I wish more people did that. No fumbling around, no talking for 10 minutes trying to remember from scattered clues. I knew exactly who she was and the horrors we shared at the City. Good times. Something to practice myself if I ever am not actually on the receiving end of the recognition train. I was going to say wheel, but there is no end on a wheel, something about infinity or whatever. So now you know if I ever walk past you blindly and there are no location clues it's on you.                 Peace out....💚  💙💛

The scariest thing to read in Braille "Do not Touch"

                                               

STICKEE WICKIE (December 2)

ITS BEGINNING TO LOOK...Christmas tree oh Christmas tree. We are promoting the Art of the Tree. Since no small people are into wielding a saw this year at ye old tree lot, we are enjoying the beauteous shape of "store 'boughten" greenery. Though we fought in the past over who would crawl under the tree and water the live nursery escapee every other day, I unselfishly claimed responsibility for maintaining the new "maintenance-free" member of the house. I know, I know, it's only fair.

After years of dutifully trudging through the increasingly dwindling supply and rising costs of live trees, we were not all that upset about the new regime. People start going after trees right after Labor Day from what I can surmise. I'm also basing that on the number of areas denuded, out of bounds or earmarked for military families as the pickings be slim. The tree farm's cheerful little reminder card with its laughable $2 coupon was usually the signal to set up an expedition. $2 won't even buy one of their decorated cookies, hot cocoa or donuts. But you do get a free wagon ride out to the boonies for your tree selection. No matter, we still trudge and look and wander and whirl ending up at the same spot we started. Then of course, loaded down with a tree, we find it difficult to catch a ride back as everyone else on the flip side is sporting a 17 ft tree under their arm thus overloading the wagon. The long trek back dragging our prickly beauty is not for the faint of foot. 

Finally arriving at the literal drop zone after schlepping through either knee-deep snow or ankle-deep mud we meet the twister boys. They grab the unruly bush and shove it headfirst (the tree) into their little needle shaking twine machine. As a safety person I always speculate on the amount of human carnage possible if in their hurry, they flip one of the twister guys rather than the tree into the running machine. Shaken, flattened into half their size and tied from top to bottom like a fly in a spider web would probably not be too survivable. 

Fun Fact. Apparently that $2 coupon was too much for this operation as they decided to discontinue its questionable value this year. I mean I still used it, and we all got a good laugh that someone actually presented a $2 coupon for a $100 tree, but I have no shame. 

SPEAKING OF SHAME.  Other indicators that things are not the same in marmalade world. Outside of the increasingly bold nazi demonstrations (though they still wear masks-cowards) a new low is a Florida candidate for Congress who has threatened the two female Muslim congresswomen they better get out before he gets there "bombs away". Isn't that a nice sentiment that you said OUT LOUD Randy Fine. Though it's understood, free speech only applies to repubs. Funny thing though. If we treated the maggots like they treat others they would be such upset little snowflakes.

Also as predicted in the never-ending quest for revenge, marmalade is choosing boot licker Kash Patel for FBI chief who vows to prosecute anyone, who basically, says anything about his boss he doesn't like-even when it's true.  Good-by any free press or anyone decent enough to note the lack of emperor clothing.  Where are the heroes going to come from to thwart their nefarious plans? Well upon further reflection, in regard to the popular vote, marmie did win the most votes but the percentage was 49.9% compared to Harris' 48.3 so mandate proof he is not. So technically 1 out of 2 voted for the country rather than a dictator.

WICKED Rather fitting that the hot movie of the day is one called Wicked, which sums up the new administration including the Oz man, though I can think of much nastier terms. That much hype for a movie is ridiculous or a very bad movie trying to get our attention. Oh, wow even more reflective of current times.  But really, at the point you have created a buzz and a long line I'm out. I'll wait for the made-for-TV version. Ok I have never seen Barbie or Forrest Gump or Top Gun or all the Star Wars either. The list goes on. I am more of a cinema noir type I suppose with plot twists, etc. But I also enjoy the predictability of the Hallmark tried and trues. Call me complicated.  Peace out...💚  💙💛