DARK TIMES (MAY 19/192)

DARK HUMOR When there is a power outage everyone becomes an instant expert at candlelight dinners. Ok, what's in the fridge? Everything that needs to be eaten right away. Who needs a knife? In the dark-nobody. Let's just pop some popcorn, oh shoot no microwave and no jiffy pop for the gas stove...in the dark, umm no. Guess I'll just grab a shower, oh yeah, no pump no potty. What is this strange phenomenon I just discovered called outside and natural light. Let me just charge up my phone, oh yeah. We gave up and just went out to dinner. Obviously, we got hit with a blackout at the lake.  

No problems in Grand Ledge except a branch down, but Hastings was another issue. Total blackout. First we went to set up our neighbor's generator as he just had surgery. So, these two wounded warriors were hauling a generator over the grass, moving refrigerators, etc. (he wasn't allowed to do much). Then the OH had to work out our friend's massive cord circus. Surprised the house hasn't gone up in smoke long ago. 

We didn't mind helping out as we just plug ours into the house connection, push the button (no pull cord yah) and turn on the generator at the panel. Merrily plugging the power cord into the generator posed the first problem. We've used it before, and this is a brand-new generator. Looking closely, we realized it's little tab on the plug was facing the wrong direction. WTF - aren't these things universal? Off to Ace (where the helpful hardware dude says "hey, it's backwards" tell me something I don't know)
 to find a new plug which meant another 45 minutes removing old plug and rewiring new plug and starting Ms Gennie up. As it chugged along, I realized "ruh roh" we had no power going to the house. Where was it all going? Amps and watts running hither and yon though firing up an 8000 rpm Generac to charge my phone seemed a bit of overkill. Went over every inch of the machine; perused the handbook and troubleshooting online, contemplated finding an electrician (yeah right); talked to service at Generac and I knew more than she did. Asked if there was some switch we were missing, she kept insisting it was the plug. So, we tore the plug apart to check the wiring. As I considered diving into the melting ice cream with wine and beer chasers (about all I have in the frig) the OH found a switch marked "30 amp". You don't suppose....SUCCESS! Thank God, I can use the bathroom. I was almost ready to pay an electrician 100 bucks to push a switch LOL. 

Since old faithful was chugging along and using little gas, we closed up for the night. Leaving the gennie at the door to the outside we shut the overhead garage door. A short time later, gennie kicked off. Shitake mushrooms-now what? Apparently, a wee bit of CO2 was making its presence known and as a good little safety feature, she shut 'er down. As we were manipulating the generator further outside, actually building a ramp, and trying to avoid the monsoon winds that were blowing the exhaust back into the garage, the frickin' power came back on! Not complaining. Just seemed a fitting end to a rather frustrating day. 

                                                                                       

IT'S A BIRD IT'S A PLANE IT'S IDIOTIC Wow when I worked in Government you couldn't accept diddly squat from anyone unless you could consume it on the spot I think was the caveat. But a whole effing $400 million plane would make me, or possibly any normal person, to think twice maybe? It is embarrassing that the prez of the United States is going around accepting/soliciting "gifts" from terrorist-supporting countries who actually hate us for our interferences. We used to be a leader. I heard he even bitched when UAE only gave him a vial containing a drop of the most expensive oil in the world because it was so small. Again, what a low-class buffoon representing what used to be one of the greatest countries in the world. Camel salutes and lying to his face make marmalade think "people like me", "people respect what a big shot I am". Pathetic. When he whines just give him a golden binkie. The new mantra "Make America Grovel Apparently."

HUH? Now my own low-class humor. Received a begging letter from the Alzheimer's Association. On the envelope it read OPEN IMMEDIATELY! I immediately mentally added "before you forget". I know, I know mean. Cutting it short, still sore from Friday and Saturday.  Peace out.....💚  💙💛

CUE THE FLOWERS (May 12/193)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all my favorite mothers and those who have passed on. Memories of my Mother with our marathon monopoly games and Euchre weekends with whoever we brought home. It was always more fun when Mom quit being Mom instead turning into "no prisoners, winner take all" mentality. She was competitive and damn good at anything she played. No home-baked bread and cookies, more political debate and stimulating conversation. I suppose that's why we are all so mouthy, AND opiniated. Not having to hide intellect or actually being able to debate is so refreshing. I imagine Mom and Aunt Kathleen are sipping martinis and spilling the tea wherever their energies landed them in the afterlife.                                                                                              

PERSONAL RANT OF THE WEEK Landscaper "where art thou?" Why, why, why do small independent businesses fail to communicate? One third down for a deposit and no show on promised day until I check. Next date no show until I check. Then 3rd time's the charm and they come as promised and do a bang-up job with profuse apologies for not communicating a little better. The down-payment was expensive enough that I did not want to take a stand and cancel. At any rate, perhaps I have educated a hard-working entrepreneur on a good customer service practice. 

DISH SECTION Ok - busy week for marmalade and his cultists. Evil seems to be able to work much faster than doing the right thing, I guess. First the same people that were sooo offended by the Paris Last Supper parody (or was it) last summer think mocking the catholic church with marmie as pope should just be laughed off. Hypocrisy, thy name is maggot.

Second Ok - our new stance on no immigration and deporting everyone will, aha, affect economic growth! Remember the birth rate is down and our young people ain't interested in the jobs that so many newcomers were willing to do to be part of this country. Oops. 

Third Ok - Did it ever occur that defunding all scientific research and tossing the scientists will halt America's reign as the world leader in innovations and new discoveries? Oops. We already see the fallout of firing all the air traffic controllers due to the scaredy cat white men thinking every woman or person of color is incompetent. Double Oops. 

Fourth OK (strictly for laughs) With two non-medical people heading up our health departments we will get advice attributed to RFK like "menthol cigarettes are ok to smoke and will cure polio" compliments of comedian Don Novello, i.e., Father Guido Sarducci. He also claimed a Conclave in the 1700's  couldn't decide on a new pope and they finally voted one in as they were tired of the food. As one cardinal had a fly fall into his soup, they took it as a sign of the Holy Spirit and elected him. Next time around, a cardinal brought his own fly.  (for those who don't watch Stephen Colbert). And sadly funny RFK says autism is not genetic, it's environmental and he will prove it by September. My point-lies are truth these days. 

OUT ON THE STREETS Borrowing from one of my favorite columnists (Celia Rivenbark) the charge that all the protesters in all 50 states are being paid is "a whole extra slathering of crazy on an imbecile sandwich". Like for twenty bucks an hour we will stand in the sun/wind/rain, get harassed, hosed and arrested. Though I wouldn't say no if I was already there anyway. Magots think it's weak to protest for a principle for free rather than to get paid or screw somebody to achieve success - it's just not in their playbook. Meanwhile their hero is charging big bucks for wealthy folks to attend white house dinners so they can buy trumpie bitcoin. He's also accepting an uber expensive jet from Qatar (which is not a bribe 😄) to be Air Force One and his sons are trading off the Presidency for new ventures in other countries.  For the 12th time today, "if a democrat tried any of this shit, they would have been run out on the proverbial rail with slaps to the head in mock horror".

Let them eat cake or, modern translation, have less dolls and pencils. Funny how the rich are always telling us to sacrifice and endure being broke a bit longer while they eat more cake than they can manage. Last time that happened I believe people lost their heads over it...just saying.

In more good news for the red states (read magots) the temporary head of FEMA was immediately discharged when he said to Congress FEMA's work is vital to America. Dumped him quicker than a dam giving way in North Carolina. Still have any doubts about who is benefitting from the Administration? Even fax news is calling foul, gently, of course. And also, a prize for the poorer states, the administration can cancel Head Start but spend ninety million for a military/birthday parade. "It will be so worth it" he crows. To whom?

I'm heading out to my deck chair with a mindless romance novel and a couple of pretzel sticks and taking in Spring.  Peace out.....💚   💙💛

DAYS OF WINE (& CHEESE & CHOCOLATE) (May 5/194)

HABITUAL We are creatures of habit.

 Church. I normally sit in a particular spot in church: on the aisle (claustrophobic); single chair with arms (in case I need help rising); middle of the church (incognito). I missed my row by one and didn't realize it until midway through the service when I found I was not lounging on my comfy arm rest. However, when I looked around the lady that always sits at the end of my row was right there and the usual two people that sit behind me were right behind me -Major LOL! What do they do when I am not there? (I'm not a fanatic about attending) Do they wander aimlessly and lost with a vague feeling that something is not quite right. That is more responsibility than I really need or want. 

Habits and rituals like laundry. Always three loads in a specific order. Why? It makes no difference to the machine. Or ironing. Collar, back, front, collar again. Dishwashing. Sharp knives, delicate items, plates, containers, silverware, pots and pans. If I have sufficient hot water, soap and pre-rinse it should make no difference. I also feel like I have to do X number of chores before I can start playing on the laptop or chilling with a book. Again why? Walking. Always the same route and same guilt if I don't knock a couple 1000 steps every couple of hours. Oh hell, a glass of wine fixes everything.

ECON 101 Marmalade thinks we should be ok with being poor as he mentioned it at least five times last week. It's the economy stupid-what happened to that? But never fear, those dirty, hard, non-union low paying factory jobs are on the horizon. Along with the $5,000 baby prize to offset the 300 grand it takes to raise a child. Just tighten your belts though many are running out of belt holes. Just buy two dolls instead of thirty he says and pay a few bucks more for Christmas (which if it's Chinese means a couple hundred bucks more). Wonder what Christmas was like at his house? Me, me, me-all the presents are for me. So, I guess I understand why he thinks less is more. Meanwhile he is ordering a 400-million-dollar jet with a winding staircase and bedroom suites: promoting a 90-million-dollar military parade in honor of his birthday, etc etc. Typical king/dictator behavior. Glad we can be supportive by just enduring a little economic pain like good little serfs. 

With all the Doge savings:  three trillion, well maybe 2 trillion, well maybe 200 billion or was it basically a couple of bucks after we factor in the amount it cost us to "find" these savings. Another savings! Cut all funds to NPR and PBS the only source of emergency information and entertainment to media deserts out there which again impacts his base in the red states.  I guess giving people helpful info after a natural disaster is too "woke". Let them find out FEMA is gone on their own.  Meanwhile after firing DEI traffic controllers the rest walked out and hey, anybody want to take a plane trip?  Yep, just can't stand all the winning especially when contrasted with January 19 when we had healthy 401's, no signs of a recession, low inflation and no extra costs for punishing tarrifs. Win-win to lose-lose in a heartbeat. Great first 100 days bozo. 

NOT SO CASUAL FRIDAY PT appointment at 7 am. I know, I be crazy so only got 5000 steps before leaving. That we sign up and agree, when we are already in pain, to a vigorous routine of elliptical, stretches and giant ball exercises in the name of health improvement seems rather bizarre. Plus, all the therapists are buff and flat stomached which is another assault to our fragile, rickety egos. I followed up the day with a podcast recording but fortunately my hair-do held up (thank you hairspray) to keep me camera ready. The exercises just imparted that healthy glow. 

GRAPE TIMES Tried to recreate our luscious wine and cheese experience from Traverse at home with a few friends. As usual, we pay attention to the first description and then it dissolves into our usual chaotic, everyone talking at once funfest with wine. Auxerrois (white), Pinot Noir and a fancy Reisling paired with two pungent aged dutch cheeses yummm. And we still had room for german chocolate cake and brownies because you know chocolate goes with everything. I may have to do it again with the rest of the gang because we over bought the main ingredients as usual.  Funny how several wine samples encourage an open wallet, but all good. We are blessed to have a great group of friends who are fun, literate and interesting. Sure, we talk about ailments and grandkids, but mostly we laugh at the constantly changing lunacy of life. 

We also finally settled one of those great mysteries of wine. Why are some bottles corked, and some screw capped? Cost? Nope we were told if the bottle is corked you can store it for a time while screw-on cap libations are meant to be devoured quickly. Usually not a problem when we have guests. I may have to start having wine with dinner every night to make a dent, however on our latest collection.

                                                     

Oh yes. For the right-wingers who think we should lighten up and smile about marmie's mocking photo dressed as the pope, try making fun of the orange one and wait for ICE to break down your door in the night. Funny how that works. Lighten up all you magot culters, as there is so much to mock with your glorious leader.   Peace out....💚    💙💛