TURN THE PAGE (December 1/164)

Mom Joke of the day. "What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!"

 WHO? WHO? One mystery solved. The midnight stalker who has been cleaning out the finch feeder has been unmasked so to speak (no not a racoon). As finches and all avifaunae (fun word) crash and burn at sunset, we couldn't figure what or who was draining the feeder overnight. Well at 5:30 am the answer was clear. One juvenile deer dude was keeping watch, and the other was draining the feeder with its long sticky tongue. Can't figure out why they didn't knock the darn thing down. Lookout deer was staring right at me as I peered out the window which, like most teenagers, is both defiant and dumb. You've been ID'd buddy-run! So now the finches need to fight for their spot at the all-purpose feeder in the backyard which seems to go by size. Finches are low on the totem pole. They end up ground-scooping with the squirrels. 

EVERY MAN'S DEATH DIMINISHES ME... Isn't it odd that the shooting of two armed, trained soldiers by a lone gunman is a national calamity and immediate action is taken, but 20 first graders killed by a lone gunman and any action suggested is an affront to the 2nd amendment. Both are the same. Though the first was the direct result of the illegal actions and rhetoric of our clown-in-chief. The second was our inability to understand easy access to guns and no access to mental health treatment. Again, both have the same result, and each death affects and hurts us all...as we are all a part of mankind. 

ADVENTURES WITH THE OH As the youngest members of his congregation the OH and his buddy (in their middle 70's) are tapped for nativity duty, i.e., dragging and setting up shed, bed and various plaster people on the church lawn. This requires loading and unloading and building very heavy parts and pounding stakes in the frozen ground like a circus tent. Couple this with usually freezing temps and you have a heart attack waiting to happen. Young folks don't really go to church anymore. At any rate, long johns, stiff canvas hunting pants, boots, hat, coat and gloves were all donned as he headed to his truck. Then a quiet "damn". I thought he was trying to figure out how to get all that bulk under the steering wheel and seat belt. No, like the proverbial toddler bundled in six layers for his five minutes in the snow he needed a bathroom break. LOL. Hey, we've all been there. Reminds me of the daughter needing to use the facilities while wearing her voluminous wedding gown. Dress manipulation is the major duty of bridesmaids in case you wondered about their most important role other than ceremonial.

As I see the ads for the annual Children's Ballet performance of the Nutcracker. I recall when the OH was the official photographer of the principal dancers about 40 years ago. His pictures actually graced the lobby of the Wharton Center. That was his photographer era when he tried a little side hustle "Tomorrow's Memories". After the stresses of a couple of wedding shoots and the need for bifocals he decided to just forego the professional experiences. He abhors the age of phone photos. You might get the shot, but usually not of the quality he prefers. Like me he hates to be photographed so he would rather be behind the camera. 

TURKEY TIME Did turkey and all the trimmings with the kids as we watched the LIONS blow through another defeat snatched from the jaws of victory? MSU's football coach got fired. But on the bright side, MSU basketball is rolling along for the moment, so we'll take it...in green and white please.  Sore from shoveling today so going to cut it off short. I worry about the boy moving snow on his own out there, but fortunately we had enough snow to be able to use the massive 4-stroke. He likes to go up and down the street as well. I stupidly hand shoveled walk and porch.  Peace out/stay strong 💚  💛💙

                                                   

BRASS TONGUED CHARLATANS (November 24/165)

"Why is a librarian so calm? They have a lot of shelf control." I suppose that qualified as a mom/dad joke. Since we're talking numbers here enjoy a truth that is stranger than fiction. The outcry over Mayor-elect Mamdani mandating students use Arabic numbers in school....you know those 0-9 numbers we already use? Mic drop, I'm dying. 

IN THE NEWS Well, apparently our beef prices have to do with Rambo-type cows crossing the border on illegals' backs/swimming the Rio Grande/climbing border walls to infect our domestic herds. Also apparently, we just need to dress up (coats & ties and for the ladies-hats) which will make us more polite on airplanes. Ah yes, the Golden Age of flying for rich white people. When we got real food and seats that didn't squeeze your proverbial nuts in a bind. Homeland Security says the border wall was a political stunt. The Secretary of State is supporting a total Ukraine capitulation and the defense department talking head and his boss think starting a war in Venezuela is a smart move. I totally get the DEI thing now. Color me shocked.  

Moving on to Health the CDC website claims vaccines cause autism; from the wrestling boss running education they want to mandate teachers, nurses, architects, other health professionals, etc. are no longer considered professional so they can deny them educational scholarships and grants; reclassifying public service jobs (fire, police, peace corps, etc.) to renege on forgiving their loans after the students have already committed for x amount of years of service seems fair to this administration; on the "entitlement" front senior/disabled/children must reapply for SNAP benefits; not to mention fighting with the States to keep them from allowing medical debt be left off a person's credit report. If you don't believe this administration is intent on keeping our citizens dumb, poor and sick (unto death) think again. 

Calling a reporter piggy is just being frank and honest according to our chief press apologizer so if you want to refer to the emperor as a warmed up of sack of fungus colored sh-- have at it. Just call it as you see it. Calling for execution of politicians is still not step too far with this group. Oh yeah can't wait to see how much the Epstein files are redacted....but there are, dare I say it, rumblings of dissent.

BEING POLITE Call it being polite or diplomatic or at least "I have to work with these people" one thing I don't miss in retirement is suffering fools gladly as the saying goes. You bore, irritate or are generally a buffoon, I can walk away or run if necessary. There were so many times when I had to point out an issue much to the dismay of management, worker, production, timelines. Just came with the territory. Reminded me the other day of a person who worked in the print shop-think big press, heavy print cartridges, etc. They insisted on wearing flip flops because they had oddly big feet. I'll buy you shoes but you can't run barefoot through the shop-not good enough. Or the introduction of ear buds attached to their tape players (this was the 80's)-played loud enough to affect their hearing in noisy environments and btw kept them from hearing any oncoming danger. Requiring safety glasses and they whined about how they don't feel or look good or pushing fall protection as it's so restrictive. Or pissing off a politician when you hold big contributors accountable for the work they did, possibly incorrectly or causing a hazard. Having to explain to the CEO that your employee was doing his/her job when they shut them down. Nope I don't miss that at all.  

Now with the podcasts, if someone is being a jerk or needs too much TLC I move on. Nobody's paying me to do these. I've been trying to get a program for February so I'm well-covered during my surgery downtime. I already have December and January done. Got ghosted twice by two speakers who said they were interested in doing one. Now working on number 3. It's so easy with email to just say you're not available, but I guess being polite has gone the way of thank you notes. 

ROCK ON Finally decided to address the loose brick issues on the front porch. Got a few recommendations from a friend in the construction business. One was not available until next year, one never responded, one told me (from pictures) I needed an entirely new porch. This porch was totally redone in 2011 and I believe most porches last, I don't know, 50 to 100 years? So, two porches in 14 years didn't quite track.  The repo porch guy got kind of aggressive about the whole things as he's talking to a dumb meek woman - major lol.  Fourth contact came through; however the job expanded about five times with the work needed as well as the cost once he came out and got a good look at the crumbling mortar and brick on 3 sides. He even had to cut through the step and re-cement it. He blamed whoever did the original job. What I thought was a simple tuck point on the front loose bricks became a bit more elaborate. We thought the price a little high, but these jobs never go as you think-so always have a contingency budget. He had me step out to inspect and I, unknowingly stepped down on the wet cement. I thought he was going to pass out, but he quickly ran to his truck for his trowel. So expensive, but also a perfectionist which is good. No chipmunks living under my porch anymore-hope they made it out alright. 

WARY ABOUT SILVERWARE What happened to providing full silverware in restaurants. Perhaps I am not dining in a lot of high-class establishments lately. Though we did meet friends at the English Inn last week and we were pelted with a plethora of implements that were whisked away with each course and new ones introduced. Otherwise, it seems fork and knife are all that are required. In the past, a knife or similar instrument like a dagger was all that was required as dirty hands were usually sufficient. However, today I like to be sure I get every little juicy thing that falls off whatever I am eating-there is always something. Being a member of the clean plate club I need to do my duty. I imagine the more sophisticated gourmands would eschew anything that cannot be enjoyed with a deft handling of the fork-boo hoo. But I defy anyone to scoop up their eggs over medium with a fork as oh yeah, I usually tell them to hold the toast. Licking one's plate is frowned upon in polite company. I mean the fork ran away with the spoon not the dagger according to literature, so it is the natural diddle diddle of things. And finally, "I used to live a hand to mouth existence then somebody told me about silverware." Peace out/Love your neighbor 💚  💙💛

                                                                                     

ONE LITTLE LIGHT (November 17/166)

When the economy is good, people drink. When the economy is bad people drink. The moral of the story? Invest in alcohol. 

GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS marmie had to admit he has no economic/financial genius as he grudgingly lowers tariffs on coffee, beef and fruit. Apparently, a harbinger of our economic health is based on the price of bananas-yeah, I didn't know that either. However, he is blaming it all on Biden of course as he still does not understand that Americans are paying for the tariffs which he is humorously stating he will gift a $2000 tariff windfall to the public. Love it as he is paying us back with our own money and we should be grateful. On top of trying to address grocery costs they are also controlling those who buy food by making EVERYONE reapply for SNAP benefits. We need to stop pretending this is such a rich country as obviously many millions are suffering not defrauding. 

I noticed that my cup of coffee that was $1.75 a week ago is now $2.00 resulting in no 25-cent tip for the pourer. Restaurants are charging about $3 for a plain black coffee, but at least you get refills. I usually walk out of these places wired as hell and in desperate need of a restroom. When they offer a to go cup I valiantly struggle to find more room to get my money's worth. My Mom used to complain that restaurants had the audacity to charge for her coffee with a meal. Thank god she's not around today.... for many reasons, although the airways of Grand Rapids would probably love to hear from uber liberal "Shirley from Kentwood" lol.

Meanwhile our experienced cities have been quietly training others. Charlotte NC is currently targeted and being inundated by gnomie's thugs. They have been taking advice from Portland and Chicago.  Who would have thought it would come to this? Everyone who voted for sanity. Advocacy groups surrounding, warning and recording; neighbors shopping for those afraid to leave their homes; support for businesses suffering from raids and lost business. No mistake, this is war. 

SPORTING OR NOT Our hapless MSU football team managed to stumble their way to another loss against Penn who has the exact same miserable record...at home no less. Meanwhile they self-reported Coach tuck-tuck's recruiting violations resulting in losing any credit for games lost for three years under his tutelage-big whoop. That blue/maize group on the other hand gets caught in scandal after scandal from alumni bonuses, trips and cheating violations and get a "don't do that again" wink wink? What a difference being a "contender" makes in the scheme of things. Of course, MSU is getting sued by tuck-tuck, so probably helps their case to be "transparent". Ironic as this is the guy who sexually harassed the woman he hired to teach his players how NOT to sexually harass women. Meanwhile the kid who will discover the cure for cancer is struggling to pay for classes as "student" athletes enjoy a free ride plus plus. Since we are paying for athletes these days, seems like they should be able to deliver the goods, i.e., win some games. Am I anti-woke or what?

But like all MSU alum and Lansing residents at this point in the year we comfort ourselves by saying "well, there's always basketball". Thanks Coach Izzo! Apparently, he recruited a 5-star 7-footer being sought by dozens, so that means Iz's got to stay at least another season or two.

ONE OF THEM FACES  Happened again. The grandson and I were perusing little shops in a nearby town and as I was admiring some artwork the artist said I looked familiar; insisting she knew me. Don't know if this happens to most folks, but this happens to me a lot. My theories are: I traveled a lot in my job; I was usually the sole safety female in large groups; I may have worked with them as the sole safety skate in large entities; I chat easily; I have one of those faces. But my real and hopeful thought is we don't slow down enough to really look and engage with people. We look past them, and we don't really see each other. I find it easy to do small talk after all my years investigating and interviewing. I want to believe we really want to be closer to the people we meet, even briefly, and if that makes them think they knew me from before so be it. I am happy to be that little light now and then. Hopefully, we can all slow down a little bit and pass on the glow of human contact.  Or crap, they really do know me, and I better figure out why!!! Going incognito is not an option. Peace out/stay strong  💚   💙💛

Someone, I believe it was probably Socrates, said "you can't make everyone happy. You're not a bunny."

 

NOVEMBER IS MINE (November 10/167)

 

Sorry. The almost 3/4's of a century birthday escalated into a wine soiree Sunday. And physicality was a bit compromised this am. But just made a run to Horrock's for bird food, the finch feeder is full, the deer are traipsing through the yard eating succulent leaves through the snow, so everyone's fed and content. Winter is here, though it will be 50 by the end of the week, so maybe not. Which is confusing to the roses who keep popping out whenever there is a sunny day as evidenced by the pic below.

                                                                                                        

WINE ON DOWN I find a good way to use up my semi-annual wine delivery is to hold a wine party with our reds-loving friends. So much wine, so much food, so much good company and for once, it was pointed out, we did not spend 30 minutes on who and what hurts whereas older folks tend to do. This particular gathering had a poignant moment when we shared a toast of white zinfandel in honor of our dear friend who passed this year. When I travel the vineyards and do a wine tasting I always found something I call a "Donna" wine as I hoped its sweetness would appeal to her at our next wine get-together. We miss you dear lady, but I know you were there last night.

LA LA LAND IS NOT A GOOD THING If we have any doubts the media has capitulated to marmie, ask why they are not reporting the absolute scandal of soliciting private donations for the golden conference center from companies involved with the government. This type of scandal would have sunk anyone else but mr. teflon. Not to mention demanding blackmail money from the DOJ for doing their job. Money from his own government. Is Fort Knox next? Quit reporting his "moods" on truth (LOL) social and record heinous actions that would get anyone else canned, pilloried, tarred and feathered, in that order.

In the bizzarro world we live in the president of the United States had to be SUED (which he appealed of course) to continue benefits to the poorest of American people, but apparently, we have enough tax-payer money to give Argentina 40 billion. To make sure we understood the pure cruelty of this group, the States who chose to continue benefits were ordered to claw back payments to SNAP recipients. We gave the orange one access to the biggest checkbook in the world and by golly he's having a great time with it. No food for you unless you let us take away your health care. But apparently that ship has sailed away as well.  Hopefully not in the Caribbean as, without provocation, anyone motoring at night gets blown away. How is the US not considered criminal for these acts?

NOTED Amazon has been ordered to pay billions as they were naughty about people trying to cancel their Amazon prime, whether they signed up for it or not. I do take advantage of their free for 30 days around Christmas and always cancel. But I'm here to tell you they really are sneaky little bastardos when you try to cancel. There are at least 3-4 steps to do so, but only one to sign up-genius. They go so far as to hide the last one in the midst of a bunch of promotions, so read the small print. 

EYE SPY As those who follow my notes know we have been spending a lot of time with eye-related things lately. This week the OH goes back to his doc to see if he needs reading glasses which he insists he does. I keep saying, just strain a little-who wants to wear glasses if you don't have to? Add that to the way old married couples' snark at each other without noticing. Or repeat everything fifty times if we talk into the bad ear. The second or third time usually comes with a portion of nasty voice. This little word game was exposed when the kids took us to lunch and everyone was offering to read the menu to him. Within minutes I tried to show him something on my phone and, irritated he said "why do you keep giving me things to read?" Did not realize how weird that sounded until K, M, & JP started laughing. Oh well, I'm officially old.  Peace out/Stay strong  💚  💙💛

REALITY BITES (November 3/168)

DRAMA QUEENS All Hallows. My favorite holiday possibly because my mother said I was due that day but was stubborn enough to wait an extra eight days...for an ice storm to add to the drama. Apparently, Dad had to use boiling water on the door handle to get my grandmother out of the car to take care of the other two kids and then he missed the hospital driveway and bumped across the frozen tundra to the emergency room door. Ladies know they like you to walk to speed up the birthing process, so he accomplished that in spades. I arrived shortly thereafter. At least I think that was the story. I was very young at the time.

Supposedly my big sister's arrival was also dramatic. Though experiencing labor pains all day, Mom waited as it was Dad's bowling night and she did not want him to resent the intrusion.  We make some dumb assumptions when we are young. At 11 pm or so when he got home she was waiting on the porch (I guess) totally regretting her decision. I believe my sister was born shortly before midnight. Mom was known for her dramatic births. When my youngest sister was born (in September) Mom called Dad at work to say she was in labor and when he tried to drag her out of the house, after an agonizing pause, everybody jumped out to yell "Surprise, Happy Birthday". That his birthday was in July and my sister was due in September apparently did not set off any alarm bells. No doubt due to her history, he was not taking any chances. 

I enjoy this month as it starts with Halloween, then my birthday, and ends with Thanksgiving. There used to be a week in there for deer hunting as long as my father-in-law was able, and his two sons joined him. Somebody has to haul the deer out. I was invited/insisted I go one time. They parked me against a tree and said don't move for three hours-big whoop. After a lunch break and a 1/2 pint of schnapps I dozed against that tree all afternoon. Obviously, I didn't care to repeat the annual ritual. Which may have been the plan because after that they constructed comfy hunting shacks with propane heaters. I'm surprised anyone stayed awake long enough to bag their Fall trophies. 

Thanksgiving was usually at the in-laws, but the story changed over the years. First, as dinks (dual income no kids). Then changing with the addition of the daughter which eventually and inevitably, followed with the boyfriend in tow, the will they or won't they years when the kids had to go to the "other side". Then the final years with the little grandson/great grandson in residence. Finally ending our annual northern trek when my mother-in-law passed. Fortunately, the OH is a good cook and I perform my sous chef duties, so sometimes here, sometimes at the younger generation's abode, sometimes alone. But at some point, turkey and cranberries are involved. Which means I'm over it by Christmas. Fortunately, the kids have hosted the December festivities the last couple of years and served homemade lasagna. 

HOLD THE PUMPKIN...SPICE We always pass out treats for Halloween at the lake as it's a big nothing burger in our part of Grand Ledge. No streetlights or sidewalks probably puts kids off, though our girl braved our neighborhood in her day. We did a lot of walking. Which is why I offer Butter Shot schnapps to the weary parents who are dragging the wagon, literally. I'm not quite 50-50 on number of candy bars vs. number of shots, but we're getting there. At a certain point I lose count anyway. I sprang for the big candy bars, about a buck apiece, but oddly enough the only ones left were the Milky Ways. My daughter explained "milky ways" are gross. Well now I know-more for us. 

We got our share of little dinosaurs, devils, princesses, a walking Jeopardy game board and others who wore their shirts backwards and called it a day. The big surprise towards the end were the seven "older kids" who showed up in fluorescent vests and hard hats. The stuff looked well-used, and the "boys" looked old enough for the schnapps, but I played it safe. They actually appeared as if they had worked all day and needed that sugar shot. We serve all who come until the stuff runs out. Finished off by walking across the street to the neighbors, who accompanied their goodies with massive speakers playing spooky music throughout, and toasted with the last of the Schnapps. 

One trick that almost caused catastrophe was finding a pair of girl's glasses in the street which the OH promptly placed on our spinning pumpkin head in hopes they might come back looking. As strong as those suckers were, I'm surprised she could navigate the streets. I popped a quick notice in our neighborhood "Next Door Digest" and her brother caught it. Her father was more than grateful to get them back intact. "She's pretty much blind without them" he said. So back to my first thought how did she get around the neighborhood as I don't remember any kids with a cane and seeing eye dog/cat. Never underestimate a child's determination to snag chocolate.

 CAN'T RESIST I find it hard to imagine the renovation at the expense of the east wing is for beautification when you fire the commission that oversees these things. Besides how many times do you think "the people" are going to be invited to dine there? Marmie says it to impress foreign visitors who live in palaces. Yes, because they are monarchies, so our tacky Versailles-maralogo inspired gold conference center is built to impress. He thinks it's his summer palace apparently, not a rental.

In the never-ending distractions to avoid releasing the Epstein tapes, King Chaos has us at war with Venezuela and Nigeria apparently, we are breaking a 30-year ban on testing nuclear weapons, our chief wandered off aimlessly during an official Japanese visit and told the US Navy that they should go back to steam-powered catapults, we ended up with the exact same situation with China that we had before our fearless hero started the "trade war", forty-one million people will not receive their supplemental food supplies, etc. etc. One has to admire the energy twisting with every breeze, rumor, satire or outright fake news. Peace out/stay strong/release the tapes...💚  💙💛

My understanding of Lady M's decoration of the white? house below: