ONWARD AND UPWARDS (February 2/155)

BONE NEWS I believe I am improving and sleeping better though I am finding 10,000 steps may be going a tad too far. Also realized I step out on my left foot first no matter how much I try not to. That's the surgery leg and often after sitting one does not know if that first step is a good idea or not. Certainly, strong enough, just not pain-free. I read there should be a miraculous decrease in pain and less Tylenol needed after four weeks so we shall see. Still better than knee replacement though. I asked the OH how old one has to be before you feel like a bum wanting a nap during the day. He said 76 (his age of course). 

TROUBLING MIDNIGHT THOUGHT I pondered another reason that vaccinations are being rolled back. Who is most impacted? The poor and uninsured. It becomes eviler and more insidious when you look at it through that particular lens. Especially when the magots extol the virtue of the VP's 4th child as the perfect family dynamic. Obviously, these folks cannot equate fully paid government insurance and other financial perks making it feasible when many people can't afford one child. 

RANDOM THOUGHTS The older you get (or more retired) the more you look out your windows. It is our solemn duty to monitor the neighborhood activities. Which is also why, though they may be a great construction company, I would not want a truck emblazoned with the company name ROACH sitting in my driveway. Some things are better left private. Rotor rooter is another, but we all have been there, right? Anyway, the empty house across the street (10 years or more) had a massive AMAZON dump on their front porch this weekend. I enlisted another neighbor to pop over there and see if they were delivered to the wrong house. Nope, definitely has the name of the "now deceased" homeowner on the packages. Mystery deepens as our Agatha Christy group continues to monitor. The former occupant left for the UP with daughter's family years ago and have never done anything with the house since, even during the massive housing mark-up craze. To add to the mystery, the whole family has been indicted up there, so we wonder if they're hiding evidence or something worse in Amazon boxes. See how this snooping/spying gets out of control?

And how can they advertise permanent marker remover. Does not the name imply its inability to be erased? If so, what other myths have we been innocently believing? That the melon-eater documentary launched this week is the highest grossing documentary ever? As I understand it, as there is no reference to her early Epstein-building years, how accurate can it be? To quote the gal, I don't care, do you? I assume her husband will fire the academy award panel so he can collect more trophies... Meanwhile the doco-crazy was funded by Amazon to secure their "tax break" to the tune of 40 million plus 35 mill for advertising. Humorously, the doco hits the same week amazon laid off another 16,000 amazon workers. As my s-i-l points out at some point they're going to realize AI workers "don't buy no stuff". 

As staying/sitting in one spot is tiring this week, I may not be as rambunctiously verbose as usual. Just getting through my emails takes an hour. Then it's up for a walkie followed by icing. I could just go out and lay in the snow I suppose. I broke the rules and trotted up and down the basement stairs (well trotting is a strong word) to do laundry. More like Kenny Cane and I gingerly making our way up and down with a death grip on the handrail. 

As we await the mighty ground hog's prediction of a six more horrendous weeks of winter or a mere month and a half...I'm thinking I should get one in every hue to match my outfit or my mood as its now a part of my day to day. Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor 💚    💙💛

                                       

AND SO IT GOES (January 26/156)

BONY UPDATE Recon on recovery. Done with OT/PT. Only thing the doc said I couldn't do was, and I quote, "fall down". We all live in fear of that I can tell you. Got the old walker out and using Kenny Cane anywhere not in the house. In my final physical analysis, physical therapist had me go through my paces like a Kentuck Derby show horse.  Sock-blue-bed must have been my trumpian cognitive test. I of course added man, woman, television, camera, hockey puck, armadillo and coin toss. Then we moved onto the Olympic portion of the review. How many times can you sit-stand in 30 seconds. As it got sillier, I started waving my arms and doing dance steps every time I stood up. She said I tied the record for most sit-stands. If she had given me a number, I would have buried it, so that was most unfair. She mentioned she had a 94-year-old who nailed the test, less reps than me, but impressive. I'm averaging 3 to 5 miles and paying for it by the end of the day when I question the ability to stand on the injured leg and my mental ability to determine when enough is enough.

Taking out the stitches was fun, though I didn't complain until the nurse had left shutting the door which allowed me to go "ouch, ouch, ouch" in private. I have a skin fold that looks so much like a sewing boo boo where the material got caught up in the stitch. Apparently, that is not uncommon, and the remedy is to keep rubbing and squeezing the bumpy area until it pops. Again, "ouch, ouch, ouch". Doc showed me how my hip is ...."not like the others" as I am a small thing in certain areas and they had to really finagle (technical term) to get the big fat artificial hip joint to fit. As they "cemented" it in should hold. I am up to 2 hours of sleep at a time, so improvement. 

REBELLION UPDATE A dilemma for many of us I imagine. A very good friend of mine of more than 20 years wants to know why we can't seem to find a date to set up a lunch or breakfast meet. I don't want to explode if she still thinks marmie is not so bad, we need to give him a chance or victim blame those who are being killed.  Not sure she will, just don't want to find out. As the administration lays siege to Minneapolis (there is no other word for it) why aren't they rounding up illegals in Florida and Texas where illegals number in the millions not 130,000 like Minnesota. Oh yeah, it's not about immigration. And since he can't get his own by merit, the dick is happy to receive someone else's Nobel prize. Though if senility had an award I think he's nailed it.

Also, as a dictator wanna be he's been busy destroying the 60-year NATO alliance and stealing other country's oil just because. Though in retrospect, Europe is becoming stronger because of his demands and insults. Then as the UN embarrassed him (he did it to himself) he's setting up his own little UN over Gaza. Other members are also-ran, non-dominant countries but not the ones he's trying to "help" (Palestine & Israel). So, who's pocketing the billion-dollar entry fee? 

Fun Facts we have to search for: the 50,000-dollar bonus and student loan forgiveness for new ICEYS is only good after 5 years of service to DHS. Gosh in 2031 rumple will be gone and they'll be in jail. Bleak comfort. Thank God for camera phones and the internet. Meanwhile some slashed funding is being quietly restored where we have won in court; DOGE really did not save the federal government any money (though what we have we're spending it on vanity projects); and a teenage Doge employee has sold our social security information. Who would have thought that was coming (answer-all of us). 

AFTER GLOW I keep getting reminders about refilling my heavy-duty scripts prescribed after surgery. Then I get a long letter from my prescription company warning me about the dangers of opium addiction, etc etc.  They're the ones sending me refills that I didn't ask for plus I am not using them anyway. I don't think I can get hooked on Tylenol, but at the end of the day when I'm trying to sleep, I wonder. Thank goodness I'm not pregnant right? Wonder if our Health Chief can get his drugs for free now? 

The weather has been brutal snow and cold for two weeks now making me paranoid to step outside my comfort zone. Ice is under every nook and cranny just waiting to pounce on my fragile newly minted hip. If I'm going down, I'm taking somebody with me, hopefully someone with mass for a soft landing. We are finding ingenious ways to drop me at the door though. As I've said before, a lot of handicapped folks are easily getting through their day as most of the spots are already taken when you're looking. Positioning was helpful though when we left Meijers and my Impala's 10-year battery gave up the ghost. There was plenty of room in front of us to get a jump. But the OH was scout-prepared and had a portable jump charger in the back seat.  Couple of minutes later we were humming...on the way to the auto shop for a new one. So, my first trip out was interesting, and expensive. Now if it would just stop snowing and blowing and freezing...Peace out/Stay strong/Never forget/Never forgive. 💔💔💔

                                        

OH 'DEM BONES (January 19/157)

 

I'd like to start with a public service announcement. If you have any left-over, useless trophies cluttering up your house, please send them to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington D.C. Extra points if they are "gold" (fools or otherwise). There is a little boy there who just llovveess  participation trophies to cover the fact he was never loved. Dementia is just an added bonus, so anything works. 

Well 12 days post-surgery and the word of the day is OUCH. Every time I get a PT appointment, we find areas that were not sensitive before now frantically raising their phantom hands. Pick me, feel me, try to sit/stand/crawl without noticing me. On the other hand, all my PT/OT torturers call me a dream patient. I'm sorry I thought getting your butt up and moving was the point. I like to greet them at the door and they are surprised I am the patient. What do they usually look for? Someone with a walker or cane apparently. They tell me stories about patients who do not cooperate or are afraid they will break, like the one who didn't move for a month and a half and then blamed the doctor they're not healing.  Or the one who asked if she could light up and the PT person said "no!". They lit up anyway with a rum and coke at their elbow...at 11 am. Cracked me up. I didn't know we could drink during these appointments. Aren't those a no-no? Well yeah.  

Apparently, my surgeon keeps the hospital and rehab companies busy. I was one of SIX procedures he did that day. I think I was number 3. Everybody was cool except the creepy anesthesia boss who appeared irritated that I had allergies and cancer at one time. Apparently, it messed up his "usual" chemical cocktail for knock out time. Instead of bitching at me, look at the fricking chart, which he had to do eventually which also irritated him. However, his gaggle of employees were like the three stooges as they came in after he left to do the actual procedure. I mean stooges in a hilarious way, not incompetent. They actually acted as if they liked people and wanted me to have an easy and good time, or as much as you can, I guess. Continual patter of dumb jokes, me participating, as they kept searching for exactly the right spot in my spine for the first injection. 

A smaller woman was supporting me as I leaned forward for the spinal and we both mused on what would actually happen if I took a dive off the bed. We agreed I would not do that. My leg did some amazing gyrations and dance steps as they probed some interesting nerves in my back. Fortunately, they were the ones in the operating room, not Mr. Grumpy. As I'm wide awake, though numb, I asked if they were putting me out or not. (I believe I actually said please) Oh yes, first one little druggie goes in and then here's number two and you'll be in sleepy time (yes, he did) in two minutes oh ha ha. Of course, my next conscious thought was in a very busy recovery ward.  

People were coming and going, and the nurses were wearing track shoes and exhaustion. Though only serving soda crackers was a little off-putting. Which as I had nausea for 2-3 days, it was probably for the best. However, tradition dictates a large McD's chocolate shake on the ride home. I believe that baby was downed in less than five minutes. Sooo good. At any rate, my routine is walking, walking, walking, then icing, icing, icing. I do the dishes for therapy and the OH is on shopping, laundry duty and cooking, etc. etc. He attempted two homemade soups that turned out well. One friend dropped off some very spicy homemade broccoli cheddar, and another brought us chicken dinners from a community dinner. A third friend offered soup, but I asked if she could do a casserole instead to give the cook a break. Wow there was a lot going on in that casserole. If I hadn't already been back to "regular" so to speak that dinner put me on a "fast track" the next day. Cleanliness is next to healing I say. 

Two more home PT appointments, one sign-off from the nurse, recheck from the doctor and I'm on my own to make or break. Oops we don't use the "b" word. Infection and falls are the enemies. I've been managing a shower every day and hair wash every 2 or 3 so that feels normal. Putting on my pants, drawers, and socks are new skills to be developed but I am persevering. Working against me of course, are stubbornness and impatience, but we'll get there. (Remember Kathy? Mother please, I'd rather do it myself!) 

 I feel guilty not doing more but I am definitely enjoying the plethora of paperbacks my big sis gifted me with. Walking is the best therapy, and I have to do so every hour. I'm up to 2 miles (a day) in 500 steps increments. Nurse called me today to schedule her appointment and wanted to know if I was taking pain drugs. I said yes, Tylenol. This was after I told her I was achy today. Long silence. Sometimes silence speaks volumes. But as I said before I got "regular" within a few days so it's worth it. I "cane step" up and down the stairs, but I was instructed to use the walker if I go outside. Considering the crappy weather, I am happy to watch it from the window.

The doc gave the OH a really cool x-ray of my new "companion". I am becoming the bionic woman with knee and leg titanium bones. Apparently, the ball takes a while to set in the socket tightly, hence the tremendous fear of slipping, falling or generally jerking the joint for a couple of months. Apparently, sky diving, salsa and bungee jumping are off the table for a while.  However, bone shaped pretzels are perfectly acceptable and encouraged.  Peace out/stay strong/love your neighbor 💚  💙💛

                                                         

SLINKING INTO '26 (January 5/159)

 

CUT CUT FIZZ FIZZ Another fun week ahead. Try to keep marmie from attacking another country while I'm out please. I will be undergoing my 3rd meeting with the knife (or scalpel or laser cutter or can opener) since September 2023. Joints are failing faster than a pound of butter on a hot plate. As my insurance covers it, why not? I enjoy the recovery challenge. Working on getting the housework and laundry done before H-day (hip). OH is taking over the laundry again so we had a brief refresher course. Last time he had the duty after meticulously sorting colors and fabrics per my instructions, he said the heck with it and just threw everything in at once. Using two pods of detergent rather than one. Sigh. We may just move out to the lake for a while as everything is on one floor including laundry.  

DRIVING MS LAZY Visited the DMV (dept of motor vehicles) to get my handicap placard. OH could not wait to use it, but you would be surprised how those spaces fill up. I expect to see nothing but canes, walkers and go-carts in the stores eventually. Handicapped/smamiecapped-you cannot keep us from completing our appointed rounds. However, I just expect to be dropped off and picked up at entrances as the doc is afraid I'm going to fall and destroy all his lovely work since we scheduled this for January. Ice is your friend my post-op paperwork says, but I don't think they mean the kind that gives you an Ice Capades workout. May have to drag out, horrors, the tennis ball footed old person highchair walker. If that sucker had a seat on it, I would never need surgery. Or better yet, one of those canes that has a flip-out seat. This hilarity is from someone who walks 7 or 8 miles a day on her bum leg. 

Anyway, I was diverted by my own misguided cleverness. Being at the DMV I'm sure brings out memories for us all. The old days of long serpentine lines and surly employees. These days it's a pretty decent set-up IF, a pretty big if, you make an appointment. The only surly line I saw was in the foyer where people without an appointment were trying to access the one machine. I was reminded of my initial visit to take my driving test at 16. The final words of advice from my father who went with me was "thank goodness, I don't have to drive with you anymore". What an inspiring cheerleader. Needless to say, he drove home even though I passed the test.  

The daughter was just as eager to drive as her mom so we made arrangements on her 16th birthday to cement her new status. Excited and bubbly when they called her name, but alas-the computers were down, and they could not complete her paperwork. Her little face dropped 3 feet. Stupidly, I said let's try another SOS office. Like the problem with computers would miraculously bypass a different station. However, it all comes down to the people. The examiner asked if she had her temporary paperwork - but of course. We'll just attach the new form to the temp and your license will be in the mail in a week or so. From agony to ecstasy in an hour. It is an awesome feeling to please your offspring so perfectly. But then, Mom deflates when the newly licensed driver asks to take the car solo to see her boyfriend. Worst hour of my life I can tell you. However, she became such a good driver (though a little fast) that I let her take my beloved Riviera to Detroit with a couple of friends. Her little Dodge truck wasn't big enough for three ladies. They, and more importantly, the car came back unscathed. 

TALKING POINTS Well after much canoodling about it, I decided to re-record the opening paragraphs for my poddie airing next week. I had mispronounced the dude's name every time only in the intro I said something like "oh I did it again". No problem on doing the re-recording, but I had recently cut and colored my hair. But if anyone is that observant, more power to them. I did wear the same sweater, however. Anyway, the upshot of all that is "I mispronounced the name again!"  Geez. Peace out/Stay strong/love your neighbor💚  💙💛