Delay this week as we support the grandson at state tournaments. Roll baby roll. And go green go white!!

BEWARE OF EVERYTHING (March 15/149 or not)

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH   Though some may want to avoid us regardless of the date. We just like to celebrate the number 15 and March is the bonus month. To steal from another poster "it's not about just the stabbing; it's about coming together to stab in groups". And to mangle another cliche the picture reminds us about the superiority of the pen to the sword... Apparently, as the FCC Chair is threatening licenses if the news doesn't start telling "Mary had a Little Lamb" stories about the Iran debacle. You would think someone in the Circus would have told the chief clown that the Strait of Hormuz was a bottleneck controlled by Iran. Also, that religious types will fight to the death-theirs and yours. 

                                 

ALLEGRA BOTTLE FRUSTRATION When I was at MSU in 1970 they introduced a new major, i.e, "Packaging". We may now curse that day as well as we struggle tearing nails and skin trying to liberate our vital items from their cursed protective bubbles, plastic, cardboard, staples and glue. I think one of our friends parlayed that major into a job at Proctor and Gamble so at least there is a face/identity available to focus our ire.  

RANDOM FACT If you have ever pondered, or even noticed, the lone orange cone behind utility trucks it is not to stop a rear-end collision. Especially since we all know -hands in the air if guilty-how feeble and fragile those babies are when we nail one. It is to force the driver to walk around their truck to assure no vehicle, stray animal, ball or small person has taken up residence back there before backing up.  This fascinating conversation took place as we noticed our cable guy diligently placing said orange guardian behind his van. For those keeping count, this is the second incident of the cable taking a crap. First time was Super Bowl weekend-thanks Xfinity-though they did come out and give us a new box before the game. We are terribly untechie outside of unplugging and plugging the cable but it usually takes me at least an hour to convince the online robot and robotic technicians to understand I need live boots on the ground assistance. 

After a couple of weeks, the cable again took the proverbial crap. This frustration took two hours to convince the invisible people I needed help. However, not a total waste as they were able to push their latest toys and upgrades. Apparently, they work on commission. Verdict on latest outage, wait for it... bad box!! Little known fact about the cable dudes and dudettes. They will adjust any mechanical issue you have with your televisions or remotes if you're nice to them. Suddenly we have clear HD, no weird messages showing up when we turn it on and remotes that actually control the sound (issues on separate televisions). And they don't give you that old person stink eye denoting how incapable we are, to them, to handle simple issues. 

Cable dude asked if we minded not being able to see the time on the box (we were wrong) and installed this itsy bitsy, teeny weeny wireless box about 6"x 6" that can do everything the big boys do discreetly. However, we do miss glancing up to see the time. Funny how you get used to doing things without noticing. Mr. Grandfather only chimes on the quarter hour, so not helpful. Since I take my one piece of chocolate for the day (usually) at 8 pm I like to know how close I am to snack time. Not to mention when you watch everything on DVR you really have no idea of time passing as you skim through the boring parts like commercials. Yes, we are probably the only people in the known world who do not use streaming services-we're ok with network-sue me.

Ok. Something is wrong with my plug-in and I'm going to lose power so I will have to end this.

Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor/Eat More Cake  💚  💙💛

LIKE A LION OR A LAMB? (March 9/150 or not)

DOOR GYPSIES I'm all for other-abled or workers' comp folks staying gainfully employed, but have you ever interacted with the Meijer greeters? Pre-requisites include ability to say "welcome" and "have a good day" ad nauseum with the proper amount of enthusiasm and delight for each customer. As they are also stationed at the door, being able to withstand cold and hot blasts from nature as necessary. Ability to overlook rude, cranky and small children without rancor. The ones at our store appear to be possibly of a religious persuasion based upon the number wearing head coverings, or maybe that's the environment. Ability to jockey a wheelchair effectively a plus, though often I see the chair empty denoting a possible miracle or bathroom break sans (without) chair. 

Perhaps they are there for another reason-security perhaps? I had hit the pharmacy and then realized I needed to shop a bit necessitating a basket. As the baskets/carts are in front of the "greeter-secret police" wheelchair gypsies I wondered if I would be called out about my unpaid items in paw. I made eye contact-bad/good idea with the gestapo. "You looking at me" or "What, you afraid to look at me" dilemma. No one cared. So again, not sure their ultimate purpose as I don't see the point of someone interrupting my get-in-get-out with minimum fuss philosophy. 

MEMORY Catching a news story about new and improved heart attack treatment techniques at a local hospital took me back to my first aid training days. Apparently, in CPR we don't emphasize breathing support as much anymore on a pulseless victim, just chest compressions.  It seems easier to get folks to do something, and chest compressions are easier to administer (not really) unless it's a drowning, drug overdose or an infant. We used to practice pole top rescue. Yes, just what you'd think-someone getting zapped with 17.6k on a utility pole. After cutting the circuit we would hang a "live volunteer" from his gear, and the second line worker would spike on up and administer a precordial thump! A smart smack to the middle of the chest. One, most electrocutions stop the heart cold (best kind if you have to have a heart stoppage) and a quick hard thump "may" bring it back. Second, kind of hard to do CPR hanging from harnesses on a pole. Consider my horror watching the action using live people. I suggested to management we buy a CPR dummy. As usual I took the fun out of the activity and seniors no longer got to torment the fresh meat. So next time you have a beef with the utility company who suddenly killed the juice during your latest Minecraft adventure contemplate that your neighborhood worker might be experiencing a really bad day.

CONTRACTION DISTRACTION The "old man" (founder and owner of our original roofer) showed up to review the dueling opinions on the roof. He didn't trash anyone...much...but he did say we need some work done. What was surprising is he believed what they put up originally should have survived as long as the rest of the roof as he tends to use materials of a better grade. Watching the 70+ dude cavorting on my roof like a mountain goat and bending over to take pictures almost stopped my heart. At any rate, some work needs to be done, and he will try to make it as painless, economically, as possible as he believes its only right. How refreshing. Meanwhile the "other" roofer who mysteriously found multiple problems (not) have not billed me for putting the extra board up which started the whole mess to begin with so we shall see. 

Teaching FA/CPR classes at the Red Cross for out-of-state construction workers were always an adventure. It is a MIOSHA rule that someone on the crew had to know FA/CPR. Classes were mostly attended by gentlemen who did not want to be there, and their grumpy comments were eye-opening to say the least. Poor Resuci-Anne was much abused in practice, or these guys had been away from home too long. Thank goodness she was not equipped with auditory abilities. At least it took the heat off as they were always polite to me which makes sense as I was the one giving them the pass/fail grade.

WHILE THEY STILL HAVE IT On a positive note, my IRS refund came back in four days proving I didn't mess up too badly with my software program. Of course, they have seven years to "gotcha" or change the rules but since they fired most of the staff I don't imagine most of us have to worry for a while. Though considering this obscene war begun by marmie because "he had a feeling" is sucking us dry in casualties, and expense, I would recommend you get your forms in early. 

THE PURGE BEGINS?? Borrowing from my favorite columnist Celia, "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead" Justice for Cricket. One down and many, many more to go. Killing people and spending too much money, hanking and panking with the staff and screwing up the entire department was fine. But when she tried to blame the bosss... well that is one red line you do not cross. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT An early shout-out to my big sis who is celebrating her latest trip around the sun on the 9th. We've known each other forrreevver obviously. She always did everything first, but by the time my older brother and she aggravated my parents enough I got away with everything - LOL. One time I beat her, as I was one of those desperate to drive, was when I got my license first at 16. Which of course prompted her to get hers at the ripe old age of 17? 

Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor/Have some Cake  💚   💙💛

SNOW BEGONE (March 1/151 or not)

RINGING IN MY EARS  Is it just me or does everyone struggle with contractors not calling you back or neglecting to call back after an initial visit with promise of a bid? One dude called back after eight months with a bid and was pissed I already moved on. Right, 8 months for a bid would probably mean a visqueened roof masquerading as adequate cover for six months until they managed to get the roof reshingled. Call me impatient. 

Companies advertise like crazy, inundate you with offers to work for you on Facebook, then crickets. What is the issue? Are they waiting for the jobs costing ten grand or more? Though not every job is 1000s and 1000s of dollars, but maybe think future work? Being recommended to others? Avoid being badmouthed by not responding or keeping commitments? What am I missing here? All that to introduce my phoning and emailing several contractors last week hoping for a "human" response to get a couple of jobs done.

 "Heard the contractor went out to get some hinges and never came back" is no joke. 

Update: I now have dueling roofers claiming problems from the other one's previous work. They know each other, so should be interesting. All I know is it will probably cost me a bundle before it gets sorted out. So much for warranties. I even contacted someone I've done business with before at MIOSHA who was pouty, I didn't call them for the original roof. So tried them first-crickets. Wait until I see those boys again. 

Secondly, trying to find a landscaper for, what could be an expensive project, who is willing to talk to new customers. Is it something in the water? I now have an appointment with my original referral, but it is challenging to get call backs. My trusting a familiar landscaper's name last year led to a crap job as the name is apparently just passed around among the relatives who cut their teeth with them and then went out on their own. I chose wrong. My biggest project and future headache is a bathroom remodel, where "Holmes on Homes" says you should get about three bids (they actually read and respond to emails) where I fear I will not even be able to get one bid. Their suggestion was to work with an interior designer who probably has contacts in the construction arena. More expensive, but more oversight I am guessing, but sound advice. Money to spend but nobody wants to play, I guess. 

"Why did the contractor bring a ladder to the job? Heard drinks were on the house"

MOST EVERYTHING WORKS Medical update. Seven weeks post-op and things seem good. Jumping up at will and hoofing it up the stairs with ease. I still can't play the violin, however. I caught my first cold in years so dragging a bit. I am happy to give a shout-out for Nyquil my nighttime sleep agent though. One ear has pretty much shut down so the TV volume games commence. A lot of "what" or "I just said that" ensues. 

NUMBER 8 Apparently this is the 7th or 8th time marmie has decided to deploy his toy soldiers. This time however some of our own are already dead not to mention civilians. This after earlier last week saying we "obliterated" Iran's nuclear program and four days later claiming Iran was days away from a nuclear device. But what do you expect when you're being advised by real estate diplomats running negotiations, a drunk with a god complex and the "chief" with dementia. God help us.

WEATHER OR NOT?  Starting to get whiplash as ole Mother Nature keeps swishing her skirts and changing her mind-spring or winter? Good day, good day, bad, good, meh. Snow, rain, sleet, frogs and flying pumpernickel predicted for this week. Robins all over the frozen ground. Keep your hard hats handy and sense of humor close to hand. 

                                                       

RIP Unfortunately, just found out a friend of mine from the conference passed away last weekend. We would always be the ones who would make snarky comments quietly or eyeroll when people got a little too clever, and we had enough seniority to get away with it. One must always call out the pretentious and bring things back down to earth. Meetings will be a lot more business-like and less fun in the future. It's hell getting older.  The younger ones are correctly and gratefully taking the reins, but they're just so dang serious. Peace out/stay strong/love your neighbor 💚  💙💛

TIRED OF WINNING YET? (February 22/152 or not)

EVER WONDER where the worst place is to find a handicap parking spot? Outside an orthopedic surgeon's office. (even the doc thought that was funny). As I merely use the sticker to get a nifty parking spot, it is annoying when the truly needy hog the spots. Ok, ok, if I fall, I'm toast so I take Kenny cane with me which looks pathetic. I have more trouble getting it in and out of the car with it and the grandson likes to waft it around like a sword much to my dismay and amusement. 

DEMENTIA IS NOW COOL Can't help it even as democracy is crumbling there were a few light moments.

1)  After a massive meltdown on Bad Bunny performing at the Super Bowl marmie hosted a massive Latin themed party at mar-i-goldie two days later with Latin entertainers-whaa?  Of course, tickets        (supposedly for Hispanic literacy programs) went from 15,000 to 250,000. Would that not indicate immigrants learning "ingles"? I'm confused. Also, considering their reputation of reneging on charity dealies one wonders if the money has disappeared down the trump empire rabbit hole. Are you listening Hispanic voters?

2) Trump family claiming trademark rights on any airports (for now) named after their fearful leader. Oh yes, they claim they will never charge-can I sell you a new bridge in Detroit?

3) The irony of the so-called "broad of pieces" made up of countries half of whom marmie does not allow into our country. And oddly enough, no Palestinian representation with the jelly man named chair for life. Was he afraid he'd be on unemployment after his latest gig? What am I missing here 😏?

NEW SHOWS Recording my last poddie tomorrow before the conference where I will attempt some live interviews. Hopefully not repeating last year's performance where I discussed employer drug liability with two attorneys for 30 minutes but forgot to hit record. Oops. Thank goodness they weren't charging me. 

"You know that feeling when someone tries to give you advice, but their birth years starts with 2?"

Well, that may not be far off. Sat through a meeting Wednesday where I agreed to talk to our executive director about something that totally escapes me now. Like I say dementia is cool. I think it had to do with the podcasts and some new software or app, but not sure. I wrote the person who ran the meeting if she can enlighten me, though actually she was probably born before 2000, thank goodness.  

Had the grandson overnight and took him bowling. He went through six games and was still feeling pretty good-decent scores too. We are working on new ball number three now. Conversations with him are fascinating and he is really a deep thinker. We have been discussing communism-friend or foe- and he has some interesting thoughts. He believes if all things were equal and people were fair-minded it is only fair that everyone has a piece of the good life. I do not disagree. I pointed out the inevitable trap of someone contributing more and others taking advantage is the problem, but all humans deserve a decent standard of living. I appreciate his empathy for people and his questioning what he has been taught in school. He's got a real rah-rah America first social studies teacher, and he likes to run what gets said by his Dad and me. We kind of agreed that a powerful country can afford to be benevolent and help raise others. 

I'll take it. USA took gold in both men and women's hockey!! (Suppose rumple thin skin will demand their medals?) Michigan State managed to hang on to their lead today. TSA said they were suspending pre-check, then rescinded it. 😂 I got my GS cookies in the freezer. The new snow is melting. Steak for dinner and no tylenol today. That is all. 

                           

Peace out/Stay strong/Love your neighbor....💚  💙💛

OVERLOAD (February 15/153 or not)

GROUNDHOG BE DAMNED! Michigan's first fake Spring has arrived, and we are dumping the Stormy Kromer hats and snow boots for shorts and flip-flops for a few days. As the mornings are still crispy, I am sticking to a leather jacket to cover my bases. The snow snerts stuck on the bottoms of cars are crashing to the ground for other cars to re-crush; car washes are overflowing (pun intended); sunglasses in full view. The kids are in sweatshirts in 20 degree mornings, but then they always are. Looked like fistfights were going to manifest as the pre-paid vs the just-stopping-in cars vied to be first through the car wash barrier. Who knows? I may have received an upgraded wash as determined folks cut the other line off. I keep hoping that happens at McD's but they seem to have the quadruple lines under control. Then again, what upgrade could I hope to get at a McD's notwithstanding their Shamrock shake. 

UPDATE Tried to go "cold turkey" on the Tylenol today but couldn't make it past noon. Not bad, just annoyingly restrictive for someone who leaps to her feet and takes a lot of stairs. Just taking two pills a day but feels like failure. It is also my multiple trips downstairs to do laundry, so probably not a good day to try floating on strong will and guts. Doc scheduled a second recheck for Tuesday I had not anticipated, so don't know if that is good or bad. Normally he doesn't do the 2nd recheck for three months. A little swollen, but the scar is pretty well healed. I may need a new nickname however between my multiple markings on shoulder, breast, abdomen (from age 5), knee and hip. A life well-lived one might say. Not to mention my own baby tattoo on my right hip. Emphasis on "baby-sized". Those tramp stamps are going to look mighty bizarre on the elderly-lol. 

SAVE us from them. If the repub agenda is so good and popular, why do they keep trying to find ways to rig the elections and they think the other side is crooked? I believe the actual number of fake voters is .0000000001 after checking multiple sources. My birthplace, Detroit, has had a week with marmie trying to stop us from using the new bridge that Canada paid for, and we agreed to 10 years ago. Of course, that came after an 11th hour meeting with the morons (Mourouns) owners of that "other" bridge who have been fighting this since day One. Fortunately, our fearless leader is quite open to bribery. Though it appears the Michigan repubs may have grown a little spiney on this one.  Second, I can't wait to see beautiful downtown Detroit shrouded in its gown of gray like the 50's as they roll back the last of the environmental laws. 

Our fellow humans never fail to lower to the occasion. Upon visiting and seeing the horrendous conditions in an ICE facility -60 people crammed in one room with one toilet the 1st comment was congressmen have no right to enter a federal detention center. Yes, actually they do, but that was the very first comment-what have we become? There is a reckoning awaiting many of these quisling-patriots. 

GOODIE TIMES The unholy trinity has occurred this week-the clash of Valentine's, Paczki, and Girl Scout cookies all vied for equal billing. Sugar overload on tap. Since I have disavowed the sweet call of sugar most of the time, I am literally dying here. Thin mints will end up in the freezer to be enjoyed over the course of a year. Paczkis have to be devoured immediately for the maximum "Fat Tuesday" tradition" of using up all your good stuff (lard) before Lent. I only eat the middle anyway as I hate the wasted donuty part. Straight candy is strictly regulated unless I crave a wine exchange. Being healthy is a drag. Peace out/stay strong/love your neighbor 💚  💙💛

THE OTHER SIDE OF ICE (February 9/154)

PROGRESS REPORT Ok after 4 weeks post-op I am now navigating stairs as they were always meant to be. One leg at a time each bending and taking the load - ouch ouch ouch. Amazing how quickly your muscles atrophy if you do not force them to work. I tossed the cane and am climbing like a human and I feel like I need to go back to crawling. In honor of black history month-we shall overcome. Though I am a lot quicker making my seven trips to the basement doing laundry. 

First solo trip. Now I understand why disabled people bitch so much. Yes, there were handicapped spaces, and they were plowed-just not enough. Did not realize a few inches make a difference when you're trying to maneuver your Kenny Cane out the door before you disembark (as I promised the doc I would always use the cane when I'm out of the house). Might not look like much to the "normals", but every piece of ice or snow is a gaping maw waiting to trip me onto my precious new hip socket. Sigh. Just parked in a nearby space that was ice-free. 

BORDER CLASHES Have to say it. Our repub officials keep saying if we just obey the laws, no problem with ICE. No, the truth, thank God for phone cameras and internet, is they are illegally detaining, breaking into cars and houses, throwing people on the ground, handcuffing them and sending them to faraway detention centers with the inability to contact anyone, no due process or legal warrants based on the COLOR OF THEIR SKIN! If Jesus were alive today, some ass--t would say if he only obeyed the law as you notice the cross prominently displayed behind him. There is still right and wrong and treating people/human beings like garbage is something to get mad about. May we never stop calling it out.

News flash. After riding with the po-po, believe me they know exactly who the real criminal illegals are, just ask them. Heck, they'll even happily assist in their removal. When I rode, we actually stopped and "gently" harassed some known problem folks just to let them know we knew where they were.  However, the popsicles find it easier to round up black/brown people who won't shoot back. Word is your border boss (ho ho man) now wants you to return your $50,000 signing bonus to him in a plain paper bag. You know the bonus you have to work five years to even have a hope of receiving? Meanwhile enjoy your constant overtime, low morale and general feeling that "nobody likes me". 

MIOSHA NEWS  MIOSHA reported the year's first work-related fatality. A man was killed when he was trapped between the carriage and cab of a truck. As an ex-safety skate, I never want to be proven right. I recall many moons ago when I cautioned a seasoned, grizzled employee not to walk between the bucket and the cab on a small excavator. Of course, I was pooed-pooed as overly uptight about a 2 second shortcut-sigh. It's in our DNA.

Okay, now I have to hassle around, unplug, plug, jiggle things as the TV reception took a proverbial timeout on Olympic/ Super Bowl day. Could the timing be any better? This is the second time so need to get the Xfin techs in here who are not available until tomorrow. Maybe we'll get lucky. But speaking about the Olympics, I'm one of those crazies that watches the whole opening and closing ceremonies-   3 1/2 hours this time. I even love the whole Parade of Nations even the small countries-one athlete, seventeen coaches and keepers. The joy on those young (and not so-young) faces who spent a lifetime in early morning, late evening practice sessions working on their craft. Their utter amazement that they are in this moment of time walking in a stadium to represent their country. It never gets old. Except for Mariah Carey of course. Love the figure skating and downhill skiing where we got our first medal but sorry Lindsey.

Even enjoyed watching little old "sold my soul" jd get booed when they flashed a picture of him-sorry Usha. Our athletes were cheered, the government, not so much. Oh yeah, they didn't let us hear it, but we have our ways-the internet don't you know. Peace out/Stay strong/Love your neighbor 💖  💙

                                                                     

  

ONWARD AND UPWARDS (February 2/155)

BONE NEWS I believe I am improving and sleeping better though I am finding 10,000 steps may be going a tad too far. Also realized I step out on my left foot first no matter how much I try not to. That's the surgery leg and often after sitting one does not know if that first step is a good idea or not. Certainly, strong enough, just not pain-free. I read there should be a miraculous decrease in pain and less Tylenol needed after four weeks so we shall see. Still better than knee replacement though. I asked the OH how old one has to be before you feel like a bum wanting a nap during the day. He said 76 (his age of course). 

TROUBLING MIDNIGHT THOUGHT I pondered another reason that vaccinations are being rolled back. Who is most impacted? The poor and uninsured. It becomes eviler and more insidious when you look at it through that particular lens. Especially when the magots extol the virtue of the VP's 4th child as the perfect family dynamic. Obviously, these folks cannot equate fully paid government insurance and other financial perks making it feasible when many people can't afford one child. 

RANDOM THOUGHTS The older you get (or more retired) the more you look out your windows. It is our solemn duty to monitor the neighborhood activities. Which is also why, though they may be a great construction company, I would not want a truck emblazoned with the company name ROACH sitting in my driveway. Some things are better left private. Rotor rooter is another, but we all have been there, right? Anyway, the empty house across the street (10 years or more) had a massive AMAZON dump on their front porch this weekend. I enlisted another neighbor to pop over there and see if they were delivered to the wrong house. Nope, definitely has the name of the "now deceased" homeowner on the packages. Mystery deepens as our Agatha Christy group continues to monitor. The former occupant left for the UP with daughter's family years ago and have never done anything with the house since, even during the massive housing mark-up craze. To add to the mystery, the whole family has been indicted up there, so we wonder if they're hiding evidence or something worse in Amazon boxes. See how this snooping/spying gets out of control?

And how can they advertise permanent marker remover. Does not the name imply its inability to be erased? If so, what other myths have we been innocently believing? That the melon-eater documentary launched this week is the highest grossing documentary ever? As I understand it, as there is no reference to her early Epstein-building years, how accurate can it be? To quote the gal, I don't care, do you? I assume her husband will fire the academy award panel so he can collect more trophies... Meanwhile the doco-crazy was funded by Amazon to secure their "tax break" to the tune of 40 million plus 35 mill for advertising. Humorously, the doco hits the same week amazon laid off another 16,000 amazon workers. As my s-i-l points out at some point they're going to realize AI workers "don't buy no stuff". 

As staying/sitting in one spot is tiring this week, I may not be as rambunctiously verbose as usual. Just getting through my emails takes an hour. Then it's up for a walkie followed by icing. I could just go out and lay in the snow I suppose. I broke the rules and trotted up and down the basement stairs (well trotting is a strong word) to do laundry. More like Kenny Cane and I gingerly making our way up and down with a death grip on the handrail. 

As we await the mighty ground hog's prediction of a six more horrendous weeks of winter or a mere month and a half...I'm thinking I should get one in every hue to match my outfit or my mood as its now a part of my day to day. Peace out/Stay Strong/Love your Neighbor 💚    💙💛

                                       

AND SO IT GOES (January 26/156)

BONY UPDATE Recon on recovery. Done with OT/PT. Only thing the doc said I couldn't do was, and I quote, "fall down". We all live in fear of that I can tell you. Got the old walker out and using Kenny Cane anywhere not in the house. In my final physical analysis, physical therapist had me go through my paces like a Kentuck Derby show horse.  Sock-blue-bed must have been my trumpian cognitive test. I of course added man, woman, television, camera, hockey puck, armadillo and coin toss. Then we moved onto the Olympic portion of the review. How many times can you sit-stand in 30 seconds. As it got sillier, I started waving my arms and doing dance steps every time I stood up. She said I tied the record for most sit-stands. If she had given me a number, I would have buried it, so that was most unfair. She mentioned she had a 94-year-old who nailed the test, less reps than me, but impressive. I'm averaging 3 to 5 miles and paying for it by the end of the day when I question the ability to stand on the injured leg and my mental ability to determine when enough is enough.

Taking out the stitches was fun, though I didn't complain until the nurse had left shutting the door which allowed me to go "ouch, ouch, ouch" in private. I have a skin fold that looks so much like a sewing boo boo where the material got caught up in the stitch. Apparently, that is not uncommon, and the remedy is to keep rubbing and squeezing the bumpy area until it pops. Again, "ouch, ouch, ouch". Doc showed me how my hip is ...."not like the others" as I am a small thing in certain areas and they had to really finagle (technical term) to get the big fat artificial hip joint to fit. As they "cemented" it in should hold. I am up to 2 hours of sleep at a time, so improvement. 

REBELLION UPDATE A dilemma for many of us I imagine. A very good friend of mine of more than 20 years wants to know why we can't seem to find a date to set up a lunch or breakfast meet. I don't want to explode if she still thinks marmie is not so bad, we need to give him a chance or victim blame those who are being killed.  Not sure she will, just don't want to find out. As the administration lays siege to Minneapolis (there is no other word for it) why aren't they rounding up illegals in Florida and Texas where illegals number in the millions not 130,000 like Minnesota. Oh yeah, it's not about immigration. And since he can't get his own by merit, the dick is happy to receive someone else's Nobel prize. Though if senility had an award I think he's nailed it.

Also, as a dictator wanna be he's been busy destroying the 60-year NATO alliance and stealing other country's oil just because. Though in retrospect, Europe is becoming stronger because of his demands and insults. Then as the UN embarrassed him (he did it to himself) he's setting up his own little UN over Gaza. Other members are also-ran, non-dominant countries but not the ones he's trying to "help" (Palestine & Israel). So, who's pocketing the billion-dollar entry fee? 

Fun Facts we have to search for: the 50,000-dollar bonus and student loan forgiveness for new ICEYS is only good after 5 years of service to DHS. Gosh in 2031 rumple will be gone and they'll be in jail. Bleak comfort. Thank God for camera phones and the internet. Meanwhile some slashed funding is being quietly restored where we have won in court; DOGE really did not save the federal government any money (though what we have we're spending it on vanity projects); and a teenage Doge employee has sold our social security information. Who would have thought that was coming (answer-all of us). 

AFTER GLOW I keep getting reminders about refilling my heavy-duty scripts prescribed after surgery. Then I get a long letter from my prescription company warning me about the dangers of opium addiction, etc etc.  They're the ones sending me refills that I didn't ask for plus I am not using them anyway. I don't think I can get hooked on Tylenol, but at the end of the day when I'm trying to sleep, I wonder. Thank goodness I'm not pregnant right? Wonder if our Health Chief can get his drugs for free now? 

The weather has been brutal snow and cold for two weeks now making me paranoid to step outside my comfort zone. Ice is under every nook and cranny just waiting to pounce on my fragile newly minted hip. If I'm going down, I'm taking somebody with me, hopefully someone with mass for a soft landing. We are finding ingenious ways to drop me at the door though. As I've said before, a lot of handicapped folks are easily getting through their day as most of the spots are already taken when you're looking. Positioning was helpful though when we left Meijers and my Impala's 10-year battery gave up the ghost. There was plenty of room in front of us to get a jump. But the OH was scout-prepared and had a portable jump charger in the back seat.  Couple of minutes later we were humming...on the way to the auto shop for a new one. So, my first trip out was interesting, and expensive. Now if it would just stop snowing and blowing and freezing...Peace out/Stay strong/Never forget/Never forgive. 💔💔💔

                                        

OH 'DEM BONES (January 19/157)

 

I'd like to start with a public service announcement. If you have any left-over, useless trophies cluttering up your house, please send them to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington D.C. Extra points if they are "gold" (fools or otherwise). There is a little boy there who just llovveess  participation trophies to cover the fact he was never loved. Dementia is just an added bonus, so anything works. 

Well 12 days post-surgery and the word of the day is OUCH. Every time I get a PT appointment, we find areas that were not sensitive before now frantically raising their phantom hands. Pick me, feel me, try to sit/stand/crawl without noticing me. On the other hand, all my PT/OT torturers call me a dream patient. I'm sorry I thought getting your butt up and moving was the point. I like to greet them at the door and they are surprised I am the patient. What do they usually look for? Someone with a walker or cane apparently. They tell me stories about patients who do not cooperate or are afraid they will break, like the one who didn't move for a month and a half and then blamed the doctor they're not healing.  Or the one who asked if she could light up and the PT person said "no!". They lit up anyway with a rum and coke at their elbow...at 11 am. Cracked me up. I didn't know we could drink during these appointments. Aren't those a no-no? Well yeah.  

Apparently, my surgeon keeps the hospital and rehab companies busy. I was one of SIX procedures he did that day. I think I was number 3. Everybody was cool except the creepy anesthesia boss who appeared irritated that I had allergies and cancer at one time. Apparently, it messed up his "usual" chemical cocktail for knock out time. Instead of bitching at me, look at the fricking chart, which he had to do eventually which also irritated him. However, his gaggle of employees were like the three stooges as they came in after he left to do the actual procedure. I mean stooges in a hilarious way, not incompetent. They actually acted as if they liked people and wanted me to have an easy and good time, or as much as you can, I guess. Continual patter of dumb jokes, me participating, as they kept searching for exactly the right spot in my spine for the first injection. 

A smaller woman was supporting me as I leaned forward for the spinal and we both mused on what would actually happen if I took a dive off the bed. We agreed I would not do that. My leg did some amazing gyrations and dance steps as they probed some interesting nerves in my back. Fortunately, they were the ones in the operating room, not Mr. Grumpy. As I'm wide awake, though numb, I asked if they were putting me out or not. (I believe I actually said please) Oh yes, first one little druggie goes in and then here's number two and you'll be in sleepy time (yes, he did) in two minutes oh ha ha. Of course, my next conscious thought was in a very busy recovery ward.  

People were coming and going, and the nurses were wearing track shoes and exhaustion. Though only serving soda crackers was a little off-putting. Which as I had nausea for 2-3 days, it was probably for the best. However, tradition dictates a large McD's chocolate shake on the ride home. I believe that baby was downed in less than five minutes. Sooo good. At any rate, my routine is walking, walking, walking, then icing, icing, icing. I do the dishes for therapy and the OH is on shopping, laundry duty and cooking, etc. etc. He attempted two homemade soups that turned out well. One friend dropped off some very spicy homemade broccoli cheddar, and another brought us chicken dinners from a community dinner. A third friend offered soup, but I asked if she could do a casserole instead to give the cook a break. Wow there was a lot going on in that casserole. If I hadn't already been back to "regular" so to speak that dinner put me on a "fast track" the next day. Cleanliness is next to healing I say. 

Two more home PT appointments, one sign-off from the nurse, recheck from the doctor and I'm on my own to make or break. Oops we don't use the "b" word. Infection and falls are the enemies. I've been managing a shower every day and hair wash every 2 or 3 so that feels normal. Putting on my pants, drawers, and socks are new skills to be developed but I am persevering. Working against me of course, are stubbornness and impatience, but we'll get there. (Remember Kathy? Mother please, I'd rather do it myself!) 

 I feel guilty not doing more but I am definitely enjoying the plethora of paperbacks my big sis gifted me with. Walking is the best therapy, and I have to do so every hour. I'm up to 2 miles (a day) in 500 steps increments. Nurse called me today to schedule her appointment and wanted to know if I was taking pain drugs. I said yes, Tylenol. This was after I told her I was achy today. Long silence. Sometimes silence speaks volumes. But as I said before I got "regular" within a few days so it's worth it. I "cane step" up and down the stairs, but I was instructed to use the walker if I go outside. Considering the crappy weather, I am happy to watch it from the window.

The doc gave the OH a really cool x-ray of my new "companion". I am becoming the bionic woman with knee and leg titanium bones. Apparently, the ball takes a while to set in the socket tightly, hence the tremendous fear of slipping, falling or generally jerking the joint for a couple of months. Apparently, sky diving, salsa and bungee jumping are off the table for a while.  However, bone shaped pretzels are perfectly acceptable and encouraged.  Peace out/stay strong/love your neighbor 💚  💙💛

                                                         

SLINKING INTO '26 (January 5/159)

 

CUT CUT FIZZ FIZZ Another fun week ahead. Try to keep marmie from attacking another country while I'm out please. I will be undergoing my 3rd meeting with the knife (or scalpel or laser cutter or can opener) since September 2023. Joints are failing faster than a pound of butter on a hot plate. As my insurance covers it, why not? I enjoy the recovery challenge. Working on getting the housework and laundry done before H-day (hip). OH is taking over the laundry again so we had a brief refresher course. Last time he had the duty after meticulously sorting colors and fabrics per my instructions, he said the heck with it and just threw everything in at once. Using two pods of detergent rather than one. Sigh. We may just move out to the lake for a while as everything is on one floor including laundry.  

DRIVING MS LAZY Visited the DMV (dept of motor vehicles) to get my handicap placard. OH could not wait to use it, but you would be surprised how those spaces fill up. I expect to see nothing but canes, walkers and go-carts in the stores eventually. Handicapped/smamiecapped-you cannot keep us from completing our appointed rounds. However, I just expect to be dropped off and picked up at entrances as the doc is afraid I'm going to fall and destroy all his lovely work since we scheduled this for January. Ice is your friend my post-op paperwork says, but I don't think they mean the kind that gives you an Ice Capades workout. May have to drag out, horrors, the tennis ball footed old person highchair walker. If that sucker had a seat on it, I would never need surgery. Or better yet, one of those canes that has a flip-out seat. This hilarity is from someone who walks 7 or 8 miles a day on her bum leg. 

Anyway, I was diverted by my own misguided cleverness. Being at the DMV I'm sure brings out memories for us all. The old days of long serpentine lines and surly employees. These days it's a pretty decent set-up IF, a pretty big if, you make an appointment. The only surly line I saw was in the foyer where people without an appointment were trying to access the one machine. I was reminded of my initial visit to take my driving test at 16. The final words of advice from my father who went with me was "thank goodness, I don't have to drive with you anymore". What an inspiring cheerleader. Needless to say, he drove home even though I passed the test.  

The daughter was just as eager to drive as her mom so we made arrangements on her 16th birthday to cement her new status. Excited and bubbly when they called her name, but alas-the computers were down, and they could not complete her paperwork. Her little face dropped 3 feet. Stupidly, I said let's try another SOS office. Like the problem with computers would miraculously bypass a different station. However, it all comes down to the people. The examiner asked if she had her temporary paperwork - but of course. We'll just attach the new form to the temp and your license will be in the mail in a week or so. From agony to ecstasy in an hour. It is an awesome feeling to please your offspring so perfectly. But then, Mom deflates when the newly licensed driver asks to take the car solo to see her boyfriend. Worst hour of my life I can tell you. However, she became such a good driver (though a little fast) that I let her take my beloved Riviera to Detroit with a couple of friends. Her little Dodge truck wasn't big enough for three ladies. They, and more importantly, the car came back unscathed. 

TALKING POINTS Well after much canoodling about it, I decided to re-record the opening paragraphs for my poddie airing next week. I had mispronounced the dude's name every time only in the intro I said something like "oh I did it again". No problem on doing the re-recording, but I had recently cut and colored my hair. But if anyone is that observant, more power to them. I did wear the same sweater, however. Anyway, the upshot of all that is "I mispronounced the name again!"  Geez. Peace out/Stay strong/love your neighbor💚  💙💛