MY OPINION IN NOVEMBER

They asked us what we thought about the government bailing out the auto industry. Here was my response to the State Journal community board this week.

"With Michigan's back against the proverbial wall, yes we need government assistance. Normally a free society dictates that bad decisions made by a business means they suffer the consequences of their actions. At this point, however, the impact to so many industries, workers and the rest of the country is immeasurable. Interesting that those crying socialism due to the recent election, are the same CEO's, bankers and Wall Street insiders benefiting from recent government "welfare" via bailouts. Hopefully this plan may actually include some payback to the citizens."

SCENES OF SCORPIO BIRTHDAY GIRL

Was not feeling the birthday this year. Too many celebrations or Mother not being here for the second year. Yes, I found her exasperating, but I never found her boring or less than astute. Her love was never a question. A Mother is a cheerleader all your life, no matter what. I miss that. I am grown woman with a daughter and son-in-law. Why do I miss my Mother so much? But I do. No apologies.

But my daughter called me at 8:32 that day continuing the tradition of calling my Mother on my birthday at that time. She also organized a surprise party with the family. I am humbled that my child would care enough to do that just because I am her Mom. Guess you have to understand a loss to understand a gesture of love. I think we spend our lives caring for, worrying about and taking care of our children. When they do something back that is so loving and right, you are humbled. I think I understand much more now why my Mother needed my phone calls and my visits. The tradition continues. My surprise party was awesome and the love was there. Isn't that all we can ask for?

NOVEMBER SCENES

What an election! What a night! What a time in history. Though my more republican readers may be a bit disgruntled, I am happy with what transpired on November 4, 2008. Mother would have been in her element! I liked McCain until he identified too closely with the current administration and chose "Paris Hilton" as his running mate. What was he thinking??? Pays to be true to yourself - win or lose. Hopefully this choice really is a President for all people and is sincere at reaching "across the aisle".

And the world saw how democracy works. We could have been republicans or democrats or we could be Americans. We could be subjects or citizens. I am so proud that we chose to be citizens who changed our government with ballots not guns. Where else in this world would this be a right and a privilege backed with law not weapons?

Was online live with the local paper and the other political and community contributors. At first it was fun and relevant, then it broke down into petty complaining and name-calling like any other chat room. Logged off about 9:30 as I was bored.

I think last night was summed up very crudely, yet eloquently today by two gentleman in a seminar I was evaluating. One said to the other "can't get any better than this- we have an African American as president and pot is legal!" Well guess it all comes down to bread and butter doesn't it? And we still haven't lost our sense of humor. We will be cracking jokes when the bomb drops...

Hooray for America!!!

OF WHINE AND CHEESE

Gathering up interested and available parties (2 of the committee & the paternal unit), we spearheaded a trip to wine country nestled in the little fingers of the Michigan mitten. We were hoping for a little color, but season was a little late this year. Beautiful, but just this side of the peak.

Paternal unit was interested in the first stop on the first rainy afternoon sampling one wine which he promptly bought- and really wasn't interested in too much of the sampling that went on after that. We started off with lunch in a crazy animal-head filled restaurant with an old wooden bar. Dad of course had to peruse the entire building before we sat down and started looking frantically for him, thinking we locked him in the car. He flirted with the waitress who he thought was too old, of course, and ogled the younger women in the next booth. Then when he unfortunately brought out his credit card first, we all handed him the lunch bills. The one sad note. There were many moose heads of varying sizes hanging on the walls, one of which was wearing a party hat. I pointed out that it was too bad he was shot on his birthday.

Dinner was another hilarious affair. The first restaurant recommended was filled by the time we got there (no reservations) with a 30 minute wait. As I have often said, I will wait in line for the 2nd coming, not before. Fortunately a nice place was about a block away with a great view of the bay and no waiting. People tend to look at us as we are definitely people who enjoy our time together-too bad. As I don't eat potatoes or bread I ordered a double helping of veggies with my steak, thinking California medley which is what they all usually bring. This produced a rather bemused look from the waiter (who was from Lansing -MSU). Imagine my dismay when he brought 2 large cooked squash EHHHHH. Hate squash. I admit I also pick out any onions with the audacity to appear in my food, but fortunately Burt has gotten used to my weird food fetishes.

On a whim we stopped at a top floor bar in the Park Place Hotel with a view of the water. The only seats available were at the piano bar and the piano player knew all the oldies and every song that had Sweet in it. There was even a drunk girl there named Lori who befriended us (or fell on us at times) so the committee was complete. At one point when we told the piano player that Dad was from Detroit in the big band era, he asked if Dad ever heard of Tassie's Tavern? OMG - Dad worked there back in the early '50's. Deja Vu all over again. The piano-singer, Tom Kaufman, makes these wire nameplates and he made one for Dad that said "SWEET". They all play their unique music based on the shape and number of figures. Dad happily played with it all night. Tom also has shakers and noise makers that patrons can use to provide rhythm accompaniment to his music and Dad thoroughly enjoyed marking time. It was one of those spontaneous happenings, that we could not have planned if we tried. As a lover of music, parties and piano bars, I saw Mother's hand in all of this!

Next morning on to the wineries. Amazing how tasty and natural wine sipping can be at 10:30 in the morning. And 11:30 and 1:00 and 2:30. After awhile the paternal unit remained in the car and read the paper-but we did leave a window open for him so he could stick his head out. I think he enjoyed the scenery and the water more than anything else on the trip.

Have to mention one of my "bon mots" of the trip. As we were rolling up and down the ski hills of the area trying to find the next little vineyard on the map we saw a lot of livestock - cows mostly. Marcia mentioned it must be hard on the cows having to go up and down the hills all the time. Without thinking I blurted out "Yes, but they have great calves". Much hilarity, but even better when later that night Dad asked what the joke about cows was about. I believe he found it amusing and pointed out his sense of humor was intact and finely tuned. I know that from some of the hair-raising stories he has been telling us lately....

FALL - ING SCENES

Fall is my favorite season. Yet it seems that something always happens at this time of year, personal or professional that makes me question why I love this season. To me it is a time of renewal even more so than the awakening Spring. Can it be the crisp feel of the evenings? An unexpected carpet of exhausted leaves dressed in their seasonal finery even as they lay fallow on the ground each morning? The children and the buses clogging the roads as they get back to the serious business of life put temporarily on hold during the, oh so brief, summer? Or is it just because I am a late Fall baby?

I do know I don't have to worry anymore about getting that tan I fake all summer. I guess when I'm 80 and not horrendously wrinkled I will bless my aversion to the sun. So many great products on the market these days to give you that sun-kissed glow, and I do love the fashion trend of not wearing hose-pale as Caspar-but it just plain don't matter. Way cool. Now I won't worry about it until we head for our cruise in January. Though I rather suspect a hot golden tan as we commence the trip would be rather unexpected. That luscious ruddy (red) glow when I get off the ship is what people will remember, stare, giggle and point.

And yes, this is the week that the one year anniversary of our dear heart's passing occurs. I didn't know what to expect and how I would feel. How could I? I feel that it was yesterday and as I look at a picture or hear her voice in my head, it still does not seem real. How could I be a motherless child? Why do I feel so connected when she has been gone a whole year? Yet I do. When I hug my own child, when I laugh with my sisters, when I listen to my Father reminisce, it is as if she is in the other room. When I dream I see her active, fiery and always laughing. She has a cloud of dark curly hair and in one scene she is tipping back a cigarette? Who knew the afterlife would allow you such unhealthy indulgences?

My sisters saw her passing this week in a gently swaying ornament and a message on a microwave. So mundane, yet so Mother. Where is the butterfly that I kept seeing at odd moments over the past year? We even planted a Rose of Sharon bush to entice and indulge my butterfly fetish.

Yet now that I think of it, I realize I have been overly concerned this week about my philodendron at work that one of my emps gave me at her passing. I always forget to water it and end up pouring my coffee in it, yet it thrives and grows in spite of my neglect for more than a year now. And what is perched over the overflowing green stem and leaves but a fragile, incandescent little butterfly. Oh duhhh...

PARTY SCENES

Couple of family events lately. We always have so much fun together, wonder what the rest of the world does for recreation? Couple of great get-togethers at my sister's new place. No more than sitting on the porch, listening to the IPOD and sipping increasingly exotic drinks. Or do they become increasingly exotic as we sip each one? Too deep for my mental capacity. Anyway, we have ended up spending the night each time, as we are too tipsy to walk (well I am anyway) or it just feels right. Both times someone or several someones has come down with some malady in the night which leads to much hilarity the next day, except of course, for the one or ones suffering the deficient health moment.

The Committee, daughter and daughter-in-law attended "Mama Mia" together. Are we the only ones who feel comfortable enough to sing the songs, do a little chair dancing and laugh when Pierce Brosnan tries to sing? Major good time was had by all. Of course helps if you find the music of ABBA to be a musical statement of the '80's. In between disco of course. Laughed and cried at a totally "just for fun" movie. Even the actors seemed to have a good time with this film. Event followed up by the mandatory stop at the pub for cocktails and munchies. I had to explain to the young bartender (after much prompting by the kinder souls in the party) how to make a vodka gimlet-shaken not stirred served "up" in a martini glass. Ah well, the job of the boomer generation is to teach the gen X'rs and Y's, etc....

Then we had a signature "end of summer" barbecue for Labor Day. The boys enjoyed several hours breaking in the "lower deck" as we have now dubbed it. My $1,000 deck that was created to suitably house my $100 wood burner. Ah well-it looks pretty sweet actually. I created signature cocktails with a Caribbean theme-translation lots of coconut rum, white rum and vodka. Did not realize until I inflicted one on my brother-in-law that one drink actually had 4 ozs of booze in it. In retrospect probably should have made that one in a pitcher. Ah well with enough brats and salad you can smother the effects, well maybe. Then I set off some fireworks, safely of course. Though I kept shousing myself so as not to disturb the neighbors. Someone pointed out, however, that it is tough to set off an unobtrusive firecracker -- Oh yeah. Well second theory, hide the evidence and be found innocently roasting marshmallows and singing camp songs.....

IT'S GOTTA BE SOMEBODY'S FAULT

My disgust rant of the day. Much of the spam I get relates to "You are owed money if you had a hip replacement, took a medication, had a child injured at birth (really hate that one), ate tomatoes, took a bath, played in a sandbox". Be part of a class action suit brought against whomever. They are so big they won't notice a couple thousand more people on the train I guess.

News flash. Living is risky. We make choices. We live, love, have children, drive cars, drink, smoke, eat in restaurants. At least living in America we don't have to dodge suicide bombers and armed bodyguards escorting "impotent" (deliberately misspelled)folks. At least not yet. In other words, sometimes things just happen. It is not someone's fault. Tough as it is to just deal with it and move past and above misfortune, it is what truly responsible adults do.

When we all feel "entitled" the truly needy, the truly wronged get lost in the shuffle of greed. And guess who pays for those settlements. We do in higher costs for products, services and in higher taxes. I love those who come out of the woodwork to sue local govts when their loved ones, who trust me, the family wrote off long before, do something so heinous the authorities do what they are trained to do.

Sometimes I wonder if there are too many legal folks out there looking for something to do. I have no problem with someone making money and a lot of it through hard work, intelligence and luck, what the heck. But if you have time to research some obscure issue and then build a huge lawsuit out of it, you ain't got that much to do Lucie.