CHAOS CONTROLLED (well almost) CHAPTER 5

Ok, things are painstakingly, agonizingly, pantingly, excruciatingly close to completion. Chaos slowing down; results starting to turn heads. Though I believe the neighbors are happy to see that crappy looking roof finally wearing its Sunday best. A chapeau of spartan green, glistening linen dress, shiny new lights and a porch-ZAP, BAM, POP, OOPS, not yet. My new pics reveal beauty and a "wtf"? kind of moment.

Siding guys took FOREVER to finish the project. Threats of rain (rumors, even), 9 to 5 days, pulled off for other rush jobs and no weekend work wrecked havoc with my personal agenda and longing for completion. But I cannot argue with the results. Anal impatient me would never have lovingly wrapped each little corner with such precision and passion to an over the top result. But I do appreciate the look. Our fear was not getting the job done before winter snow halted all progress. Oh yes, there is one minor issue - the "freakin' gutters aren't on yet!!!

We are out doing sun dances and sending semi-nasty messages to the contractor about covering our precious new look with giant commercial sized gutters. Although awesome they will cover up the pretty white fascia and soffit that was totally replaced because it looked so nice to all be the same color. Ah well. Also added was another layer of attic insulation and house wrap. Peace to any unsuspecting raccoon who managed to sneak in and take up residence up there. You "ain't never" getting out alive, you nasty bandit-masked marauder - MEHHHAAA!

Porch is going through final face lift with matching brick all the way around. Should be able to move an elephant over that thing or at least a piano that doesn't get played anymore. Anybody want it you can have it if you want to pick it up and carry it off over our sturdy new porch-no scratches please.

Yesterday was rather hysterical. I'm glad that State was playing late. COMMERCIAL BREAK --Shout-out to our awesome Spartans!END COMMERCIAL BREAK It was the clash of the contractors as they all converged at the same time. Porch people flinging dirt, roof/siding contractor critiquing all projects. We got our little punch list going and everybody's cool. He said I needed to up the nasty on my phone messages - I wasn't too bad just feisty. Golly most people call me the B-word. I love construction guys!

PASSING OBSERVATIONS

I feel like Andy Rooney today.

Don't you think it's funny that the same bank we bailed out to the tune of $45 billion (B of A) now wants to take a monthly $5 fee from each of its debit card customers because the gov't who bailed them out (meaning us) wants to limit their obscene profits on transactions? So to retain those obscene profits they will go back and charge the very ones who bailed them out the first time to recoup those obscene profits. Wow-Score! Or maybe it was the $11 million severance package EACH they paid two executives that were let go. Poor things. Most of us get a "you have 15 minutes to clean out your desk and leave". Don't let the screen door hit you on the way out. Score Two!

Since you don't make diddly-squat on your savings now and you do the bank's work by using online banking and debit cards, I am having a fire sale on mattresses if you would like to go old school with your money. No transaction fees required to access your own funds!

Isn't it funny that those in charge were elected (ha ha)to create jobs and strengthen Michigan's economy. Instead time has been spent arguing over a bridge, demonizing teachers, curtailing medical freedom & privacy, stripping bargaining rights, proposing right to work (which trust me only helps the employer), taking $470 from every public school student & putting it into the pockets of corporations, taxing pensioners, reducing payments to the working poor, attacking universities, etc. Keep looking, but I don't see a stronger economy or jobs appearing. When does that start? Rhetoric vs. reality bites you know.

Isn't it funny that the Iraq war is now ending as proposed by Bush, carried out by Obama and the "R"s are screaming - Wha? Is somebody or several somebodies losing their profits over there or their protection to collect their profits over there?

Isn't it funny that when the great trickle down man Reagan proposed closing loopholes and having the rich pay their taxes like the rest of us there was nary a peep of class warfare. Now when the same is proposed by our current President the "R"s are screaming -Wha? I'm no expert, but seems to me it is much easier to take the taxes out of someone who has to receive a paycheck from an employer than someone who has "stock options" or other means of receiving their compensation don't you think?

The 99% do have a point. When so many are suffering the loss of jobs, homes and savings while the 1% who were the major source of the meltdown are still in their homes and jobs receiving the benefits and bonuses they always have, based on a bailout from us, one has to wonder. I am starting to think this has been the plan all along -to keep the masses poor and ignorant; just saying....

PROTEST JUSTIFIED

If some are still struggling with why people are gathering in protest and demanding redress or at least justice I will relate a story that I had a small part in today. A small local company had called for assistance from our office. They have been held accountable for a training issue out of state but need our help in mitigating their problems. In all good faith they paid the employer they were working for to take care of their issue. The employer took the money and never took care of the issue. They then get notice that they still owe, they still have not resolved the issue and need to do so yesterday. What happened? They are now out of the money they paid and are still on the hook for the original problem. The employer meanwhile used the money for their own issues or profit-who knows.

Here is the moral of the story if you are not disgusted already. They must continue to work for this employer and move on to another job because they "have no choice" if they want to keep their business, pay their bills and feed their families. I don't know what you call it, but I call it slavery. Silent, non-violent protest is the least that we can do.

DIFFERENT TYPE OF CHAOS (CHAPTER 4)

Ok-not a lot to report this week as, yes monsoon time. One day of work from the siding contingency. Odd shaped and oddly placed plastic wrap and insulation sheets. Hopefully things will get better as the prediction is awesome Indian Summer type weather for the next 2 weeks.

Extra costs for extra insulation in the attic and possibly replacing all the fascia, because it just won't look nice against the new siding-sigh. Came home tonight and not a whole lot of work done-one dormer that I fussed about looking perfect and a chip out of the back door that will have to be fixed. Call the company owner who complains I haven't called for two days so what's up with that. So to punish him, or reward him, not sure which, I give him my litany of beefs for the day. Hey if you're going to half rebuild you house and spend a ton of money, they get to listen and make it right!

However, the weekend included a great breakfast with our beautiful, preggers daughter and some great conversation. She is so calm, confident and beautiful I am in awe. What is it about pregnancy that makes a women show her true colors. I have no doubt that she will be an awesome Mother. Our grandchild or grandchildren are very lucky people and in very good hands! My job will be to provide the silly and relief for their Mother! Reporting for duty!

Funny she pointed out last week that in the almost 29 years she has known me, she has never seen me react quite like I did when she announced the big news. Surprise to me too! I have had to wade through the mud, the blood and the beer in my line of work and always kept my cool. Might have been a little testier when I got home, but I did what I had to do without getting, at least overtly, emotionally involved. It doesn't mean that it didn't hurt but I had to do what I had to do. I earned a label of "cold" because of it, but I'm ok with that. I hope it made a difference.

CHAOS WITH A PURPOSE (CHAPTER 3)

Monday -lst day of roofing! Yay! Monsoon weather. Boo! However Tuesday all systems go. Crew labors 3 full days 10-12 hours at a crack. Demo, fixing, nailing, debris everywhere! Perfect. Noisy as heck too.
#1 - As they know this is a "MIOSHA" house, we are assured that they are up-to-date on fall protection. The B-man notices right off, that bags are opened and sparkling new harnesses and ropes emerge to the light of day. Should I apologize I saved a life today? Nope.

#2 - They bring boards to do repairs which would probably take a normal man two hands and a lot of man grunts to carry. One of the workers hefts it in one hand and laying it over his shoulder, clambers up a ladder-no sweat. Scary to run into these guys on a dark night eh?

#3 - As I get home each night I inspect ongoing activities which of course leads to 30-45 minute conversation with the "bouncy" young foreman. He explains, presents,preens and keeps repeating his commitment to doing it right aching for approval. I indulge slightly which leads to a life story and family issues. But all in all, he's doing a good job.

At one point I mention his worker bees would probably like to quit for the night wherein he shows his power that he's the boss. Finally get in the house where the B-man says, "I walk around several times a day to see the work and they don't say diddly. You get there and and it's yap, yap yap". Believe me it's not my ideal after working all day to schlep around with my heavy bag and heels walking around the house each night to see all the progress eagerly being shown to me. But then for 37 years, that is pretty much what I do. I talk to worker bees and find out what they're doing and how, so occupational hazard. Though the B-man would point out I'm a control freak, so I probably wouldn't miss the end of the day review anyway.

#4 - In fact the last day of the job, they were supposed to be gone by 3 or 4 and were still there when I got home. Burt came out to say, ha too bad, you didn't get away before the "boss" showed up. Well you'd be surprised what you find out when you act slightly disapproving and you're a woman. They don't think you get it at all, so they blab a little too much! LOL.

#5 - They will cheerfully haul away all the debris, hang your hummingbird feeder back up and move your flower pots back. Odd though, they bundled all the aluminum up together and took it away in a separate truck. Hmmmmm wonder if I can cut a deal on how much the crew made on that particular transaction.

Meanwhile the concrete guy came back and poured a foundation which hardened in 2 hours! Then his worker bee spent the next couple of hours filling the new hole with the most sand I've ever seen since I was at Lake Michigan. If a cat makes a potty out of that, I do not want to see that particular cat-it would be roughly lion sized.

Next week - insulation and siding starts! Yay! Monsoons predicted for several days. BOO!

FALLING INTO CONTROLLED CHAOS (Chapter 2)

Don't you just love an oxymoron like my title? Well that certainly describes destruction-oops construction which actually does require destruction. Case in point. Chimney guy finally calls after fire lit under his rear by our roofing guy. I have learned, I make frequent "so what's our progress" calls. Chimney guy takes a look, crawls inside, outside, under, over and through and decides to tear down the entire chimney and build it back up!

Humorous side story. I get home the first night and wander outside to see the scaffold set up and the brand new chimney that the B-man is eager to point out. Apparently it was a family affair as chimney guy's two kids and wife show up late in the day to "watch the show". Apparently they supply words of encouragement, applause and collect any checks that get distributed. (No, really they were a nice young family). Anyway the word is out that they are working on a MIOSHA house. He asks Burt the next day when he comes to finish up if I saw the job and the scaffold. B, always cool, says yes. Dying, he asks well did she say anything? B says yes, she had a few comments. The chimney guy berates himself, "oh yeah I should have done thus and so". See they KNOW what they are supposed to do, they just don't always do it. Anyway nobody died, nothing collapsed and we have a beautiful new chimney.

2nd case. Concrete guy shows up, spends 10 minutes and writes up a quote, complaining about the price of concrete, small load, comments about his wife and her landscaping issues, etc., etc. Otherwise he seemed competent if a little hectic. Not feeling it, listening to other interested parties and checking Angie's list, I call concrete guy #2 because I would like to see if this quote makes sense. We're not talking the Taj Mahal here. Note: chimney guy had recommended a concrete guy who, you guessed it, never responded to my phone call.

Anyway, Concrete guy #2 comes out same night fresh from a job in Saginaw, and I do mean fresh and dripping, but he didn't come in the house so no prob. He's a little talkative (what is it about these concrete guys?) and offers all kinds of different ideas and ways we can go rather than one. I've learned so I tell him I have another quote, but no you don't get to know what it is. He comes out again, after a job in E. Lansing and digs around the porch to see what is under there(wow good idea, also he didn't believe Burt when he told him what was under the porch). Then he leans on his shovel and kind of chit chats.

Meanwhile, concrete guy #1 thinks he has the job so he places a sign in front, I swear, between the time I went to exercise at 5:15 am and 6:00 am. Then he calls the B-man & says he's ready to tear out the porch 'cause they have an open day. Ahh we have not signed any contracts, no handshakes made and we had said we weren't ready as we were coordinating roof, siding etc, etc. Burt says no so concrete guy wants to talk to me. I get call at work-great. Tell the dude, no not ready to tie the knot on this one, will let you know.

Concrete guy #2 comes out 3rd time, gives me worse case scenario cost as asked and it's lower than #1 and he is throwing in taking out the shrubbery. More chit chat and we say let's do it, but no money until someone actually shows up! Told you I've learned a few things. Bottom line, I hide concrete guy #1's sign and concrete guy #2 rips out the porch the next day so siding guys know where their pieces end & porch begins (not explained by concrete guy #1). I get home to the controlled chaos listed above and the B-man is out there in ripped jeans and work shirt rolling out caution tape and generally running, and enjoying, the operation. Boys do like destruction and neat toys like bobcats and concrete busters.

Anyway, roofing scheduled for this week-notwithstanding the monsoon expected Monday, so we shall all cross our proverbial fingers!

AUTUMN ALREADY?

The Committee (Kay, Marc, Lo) plus the young committee (Kris) put together an awesome 40 year anniversary party for the Burt man and I. Good friends, good food, much laughter and not enough wine! I should have remembered our friends are all winos. In fact a gift from the Claus' underlined the point with a bottle from "now" Pinot Gris, and a bottle from "then" Mateus. Oh yes, we thought we were on the cutting edge of sophistication in the early 70's when we graduated from good ole Boone's Farm to the urbane taste of the Portuguese red rose. Ahh heck it still tastes good, if not a little sweet.

I contributed several bottles of white, red and bubbly, but we ran out quickly. There was a late showing of the infamous 25th anniversary video narrated intentionally or not, by one photographer Larry Mc. Anyone who knows Larry understands. Hilarious as amateur productions tend to be. All of the family were there on the Sweet side, including our Wisconsin contingency-Nic, Caryn, Aly and Joe; and representatives of all branches of the Ide clan. Towards the end of the gifts and crazy cards it was almost like the story "The Gift of the Magi" Burt presents me with a ruby ring that he went through many hassles and gyrations to obtain and I, presented him with his gift of a ruby/diamond tie tac that I went through, yep, many hassles and gyrations, to obtain it on time. Then the story got even more interesting....

To me September, the start of the Fall season has always seemed a time of renewal - faster pace, crisper air. It feels like the beginning rather the mournful herald of winter's dark and cold. The colors are more vivid, the skies are bluer, and the feeling of everything coming back to life is closer to me than any other time of year. Our anniversary, my sister's birthday, the beginning of the school year and now something else that I will always remember about September.

As I left for my workout yesterday morning I looked over to the right and saw Mama doe and her twin fawns staring at me for the longest moment, until they ran in mock fear leaping over hedges and disappearing towards the river. Butterflies, both yellow & white(that I call Mothers and Daughters) were bombarding me all day wherever I went. Then my daughter handed me a special gift from her and her husband. I was puzzled as I unwrapped a small picture frame with a rather unusual black & white design in it and one word - BABY.

Yes my beautiful daughter and son-in-law presented us with the news of the impending birth of our first grandchild. Love is in the house little J-Bird. Thank you.