ALTERNATIVE EDUCATIONS (April 18)

Seemed like a long week but I checked; the normal number of seven days 168 hours. Where does the time go? I still have four books waiting to be broached from six weeks ago and have not cracked a spine. Speaking of cracking spines...no I have nowhere to go with that, it just sounded like a great opening line. 

TEMP JOBS-Doing dishes and loading the dishwasher (yes I do both on occasion) I was reminded of my days as a cafeteria employee which was part of my work-study grant at MSU. The service industry does get a bad rap but dealing with the public usually reveals a whole lot of something something. Unloading on those who serve seems to be a national pastime knowing they rely on your good nature and tips. I mean one can get used to mashed potatoes in the napkin holder or ice cream smashed into the french fries before hitting the floor upside down if you get a thank you and a couple of bucks on the table. Unfortunately at school it was long on attitude and complaints but no tips.

 I learned that tuna boats are a real thing which explains why hardly anyone showed up for Friday lunch.  I also learned how to test the doneness of spaghetti by flipping a few strands up against the ceiling. If it sticks, it is perfectly "al dente" according to my Italian work partner. Swore that's how his Grandmother did it, but it was not a big crowd pleaser in Mom's kitchen. It's the uniforms that get you. Basic white which shows everything unlike the bilious green I wore as a Howard Johnson's maid my senior year.  You really did not want to know what stuck to it when you cleaned rooms. Much like the cafeteria, people's behavior in hotels is rather bizarre and they leave interesting souvenirs. One "short-timer" left $50 in cash after check-out which in retrospect probably was some sort of paycheck for someone. That's why we wear gloves...

Then that wonderful job at Oven Fresh Bakery before my freshman year at State. Although they required candidates Tto be 18, as an early "4" in kindergarten, I was a little shy of the mark. They "kind of" asked" if I had a driver's license and I "kind of answered" didn't have it on me (though I drove there or maybe my sister did). Anyway we never brought up the topic again. Work was hard, hot and educational and it paid fairly well. Considering it was fifty+ years ago I will reveal one of the grossest jobs I had to do which was removing crusty angel food cakes from the pans...with my bare hands...cutting  my cuticles as I dug the cakes out. 

I often had to run the paper route after work (the 1-4 am shift). Only when you're 17 can you work all day and all night without getting bags under your eyes.  Fortunately I also did not require a lot of food as the smell of baked goods all shift made me not able to consume more than a couple pints of milk at lunch break. It certainly bolstered the decision to get a college degree as an even better idea. 

CRAZY TOWN -Meanwhile, apropos of nothing, I'm moving my family to Florida to keep our kids safe from math. The dumbing down of America continues. Kids are now safe from equilateral triangles I guess where all sides are the same level of importance or 60 degrees (666-satan!) All I can say is Mickey Mouse will  probably outlive DeSantis. But you know if kids knew math they would discover De-Satan only won the governorship by 70,000 votes and Disney has 80,000 employees plus they take care of their own streets, police and fire.  Somebody's going to be paying for that- guess who Orange County taxpayer?

SOCIALLY SPEAKING- A couple of social events this week. We realized 1) we had a whole lot of wine and goodies from last week's cocktail party left over, and 2) our friends are retired, so...why not an afternoon cocktail party that bleeds into dinner? Done and done. Secondly having to postpone Easter weekend with the grandson due to a previous engagement, we moved it to this weekend. He enjoyed his "egg hunt" complete with written clues and his basket of goodies hiding in the dishwasher.  Though he had questions after about why the Easter bunny would have me write the clues and he speculated that I was the one who got the goodies. I smiled mysteriously so when he left he said "thanks for telling me the Easter Bunny doesn't exist".  Right. This was only after the egg hunt and basket of bounty was offered and accepted. Like I've said before the boy hedges his bets and usually wins.

JOEISM -- JP told someone at school that he wanted to be a Communist when he grows up. After the consternation dies down, it becomes translatable. He wants to be a "Comedian"-very similar occupations. 

Meanwhile Ukraine celebrates Greek Orthodox Easter Sunday in any churches the barbarians haven't bombed and Spring has sprung, if only for a weekend....  Pax, He is Risen

                               

                                                               

                                                                               

AFTERGLOW (April 11)

Big surprise. It takes a tad longer to recover from my intense 3 days of conferencing. My legs took the brunt of the abuse and were quite achy by Wednesday evening as I reneged on cleaning the last monster pan the OH had used for cooking that night. Or perhaps it was from hauling the monster tub of goodies left over from the cocktail party; or the football sized exhibit hall I traversed many times; or the intense meetings I attended; or the three glasses of wine Tuesday night.... which really did me in. Ah well. As I now believe I have won every award possible and served every executive position I may now retire to "Elder Statesman" status and actually "enjoy" the conference like the rest of the old farts left over from my own "salad" days as an up and comer. Oh yeah forgot. I'm still the podcaster du jour.

Enjoyed a lot more booth duty than I anticipated and interviewed several "people in the street". I now understand the vendor's position much better; their complaints and eagerness to leave as soon as they can on the second day. I will plan this much better next year and actually assign booth sitters rather than rely on the vague "oh, I'll stop by and help out" promises. Great to see so many in attendance (over 2,000) as everyone seemed eager to conference face-to-face. Networking is a huge draw in addition to the classes and exhibits.  

My first interviewee was a vendor who had the misfortune to be set up right beside me, but he was a good sport about it all.  Actually, praised the conference almost like I set it up beforehand (I did not).  However, his only complaint was he wished there were two cookies in the provided lunch. Needless to say, he got my cookie each day as a reward. I interviewed a few who did not want to see their 2-minute "on camera". Surprising the number of people who hate to watch themselves. One lady wanted to wax poetic about the MSC safety socks we provided and finished with a sock puppet show. Yeah, I don't know either. Interviewed a rep for the local Lansing Area Entertainment Authority and it really shows when someone is used to being interviewed-well coiffed and glib. 

I startled one speaker I have worked with before when I mentioned her company does a lot of "Violence in the Workplace" training. She quickly corrected me with "Sheila, that's PREVENTING violence in the workplace".  OOPS. I interviewed an MSC Board member and then lost his final words as I was trying to smoothly cut off the recording-not so smoothly apparently. I had a recruiter out looking for volunteers to interview so basically, they showed up and said Therese said I needed to come talk to you without revealing they were about to go live.  Safety people are good sports and can do five minutes or two hours on a moment's notice. One of those required skills that is hard to explain in a job interview.

I invited the OH, my daughter and grandson to the Awards banquet as they all escaped, er er, I mean were deprived of the honor to attend when I was President during the lost years. My daughter surprised me by inviting the rest of the family of which my sister Kathleen agreed to represent. As usual, Joe was his charming self easily taking the attention, but acting very mature and non-wiggly during the boring parts. His drink was too cold, so he parked himself at a table and was found conversing with an unknown gentleman. However, his major moment was when he went up to the President after it was all over and complimented Frank on how well he did in front of all these people.  Then Joe gave him a dime as a tip!  No Shitoske! That boy is going to be on stage or a politician. He can talk to anyone.

Oh well another year until the next one and I am already sweating out my next podcast. I'll retire someday, I guess. Picture this week is my giving an award that I was not able to give during the lost years as President.

                                                           

CONFERENCE WEEK (April 4)

 

Probably an abbreviated blurb today as there is still a myriad of details to prepare for the Safety Conference this week. I have a booth to staff with scheduled (and spontaneous) interviews to do Monday-Wednesday. Then trying to figure out how to publicize aforementioned interviews during the conference. I also need to complete some remarks for my award acceptance (I am an awesome dinner speaker-short). Not to mention coordinating cocktail goodies for invited guests at a party that the current Prez and I are throwing after dinner. The record to sustain is being shut down by Security at midnight - 10 years and counting. Not on my watch.

However, my watch should have been in 2020, but a pandemic threw the proverbial monkey wrench. Then my second watch in 2021 was again upended by the never-ending pande' still casting shade. So finally in 2022 we are tiptoeing around the latest variance and full speed ahead. Especially galling is in 2020 I would have been presiding over the afterglow in the Presidential Suite at the Grand Rapids Amway which my family was happy to attend. I know only Mrs. Ford actually stayed in the room but it had a lot of old-world charm. 

Did manage to complete another Podcast interview this week on safety culture entitled "Beyond Compliance". The speaker kept referring to management as "those wearing the stripes" or "you didn't know who was wearing the stripes in our meetings".  Finally figured out it was a military term (I think) describing those in command. But if I'm wrong I may get some interesting feedback. Win-Win. 

Love those close and far. Life is fleeting. Meanwhile the daffodils are sprouting...Palms and Peace...

                                                                                     

A NINE-YEAR OLD'S PERSPECTIVE (March 28)

ANNALS OF JOE In a deviation of sorts, the main activity this Spring break week was hanging with the grandson, the infamous JP.  His 'bon mots" are always entertaining and his use of large words, correctly, always catches me by surprise. He was describing the "options" available for snack time at Adventure Time after school. As there was no accompanying chipper dip for the veggies, he ventured into new territory by trying an olive. A little suspect of the red thingee in the middle he chewed and swallowed only to be surprised by the red thingee, according to him, fighting to come back up. The rest of the story rather runs like you would expect, so that's a big NO on olives. 

Apparently even nine-years old's understand a marketing scam when they hear one. He was discussing the Dominio's $3 tip when you carry out a pizza. He asked "don't you have to buy another pizza to get the money?" Yes.  "Well what if you forgot (or in my case, never eat a Domino's again) for like 20 years, would they still have to give you the discount"? Umm no.  So he totally understood the rip-off part of the scheme very well. He believed if you're going to give $3 off why not when you take out the original order...see even a child gets it.

JP is fascinated by the menagerie that shows up at the bird feeder everyday and cheerfully names all the various creatures. He especially enjoyed practicing his "hawk" call to the great fear and trepidation of the various feathered diners. Though actually it worked better on scattering the squirrels who literally stand in the window and complain about the lack of seed hitting the ground. After watching a news story he begged for a handful of seed and stood like a statue on the deck hoping the birds would come and eat out of his hand. That lasted about 2 minutes so the squirrels got their left-overs. 

                                           

He told me his favorite cookie was white chocolate chip cookies like other Grandma makes. Well challenge accepted and I actually had white chocolate chips (though I am not above running to the store for him to make his favorite cookie). However we did have to run to the store for other essentials which means also shopping in the toy section.  He agonized over two different cars he really loved until Grandpa and I literally walked away to leave-decision made. At any rate he helped with the cookie making by reading the instructions, relaying the proper measurement of each ingredient, cracking the eggs (he loves cracking the eggs) and of course, testing the product. It was a real struggle to get him to wait for the "cooked" cookies to emerge. No raw egg beater licking, though I suppose it wouldn't kill him.

Another challenge was trying to keep him to a two cookie max as dinner was within the hour.  However, when I was out of the room on a phone call he convinced Grandpa to have a cookie which necessitated JP taking the one underneath to make sure my stacks were even! He was quite serious about the potential lopsided stacks, so crisis averted. 

On the third day we went bowling where he showed off what he watches on television by hefting the ball high in the air on approach and lifting his leg behind his back on the follow-through.  Dramatic, but not always successful. The real appeal is the arcade where he accumulates tickets for nickel items that cost $5 to obtain. We have convinced him to hold off and accumulate more tickets for the more exciting twenty-five cent items. But that evil giggle when he is blasting aliens in the space game-I just don't know who he is...

SWITCHEROO Meanwhile, can't finish without my usual political observation. As one put it "Mr. Garland (AG) the crimes are all sitting out there growing cobwebs due to no action". But we've never charged, prosecuted, jailed a past President. We never had a past Prez who was so blatant at committing federal crimes without even the decency to resign- duhh. 

MEANWHILE ON THE LOCAL SCENE The tax decrease proposed by the Rs was vetoed by Governor Whitmer. Now before the proverbial "panties bunching" occurs; this was one time money due to a budget surplus THIS YEAR, not ongoing. It would have given a whopping $12 to those earning under $24,000, $90 for those in the middle and megabucks for those at the top (Surprise). However the Governor did ask for and receive $400 per car for each person holding car insurance last October. Unfortunately there was some break for retirees and child care in the bill, but again one time money. 

Now I'm no math genius, but I think $400 buys a "hell" of lot more gas than $90 and... you get it all at once, not divvied out over 52 pays. This idea that the big mean old Left conspiracy keeps wanting to help the little guy is appalling. You know the liberal folks who abolished child labor, created the 40 hour work week, Social Security, Medicare, etc., etc. The horrible progressive agenda goes on and on. Hardly have time for our child eating cabals which is only surpassed by the R's cocaine sniffing orgies - LOL.(according to Rep Cawthorn)

There is no humor to report about Ukraine when there is apparently evidence of looting, raping and execution of civilians by the re-deploying (their word) running (my word) Russian army in previously occupied areas. Though you have to admire the intrepid helicopter pilots who crossed over the border and bombed a fuel depot; which the Kremlin condemned as striking a civilian target- really. Not to mention the ruskies had to gave up Chernobyl after all their ill-equipped soldiers were exposed to deadly radiation and an inability to control the site. Their lack of intel and general ignorance provides Ukraine with a formidable ally...  💙💛

BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY (March 21)

 

While I play my own little game of Tetris as I try to balance too many clean dishes in the too small drying rack, I ponder why I never use the fancy dishwasher seated right beneath the too-small dish rack. I rarely use a dishwasher though I've had one for years. Basically, the hole was there so I had to fill it when I redid the kitchen countertops. With just two people 99% of the time, I could not fill a dishwasher for two or three days (Yuck). I still can't believe something that takes 2.25 hours to run is more economical than ten minutes of filling a dishpan. Not to mention my compulsion to rinse dishes first (yes the drain in the dishwasher will get gummed up if you don't); my reluctance to put pots and pans in and, my total inability to understand the game of how dishes fit in the dishwasher. For some reason I believe a mass smashing and flipping occurs during the cycle so anchoring things down is my primary concern and dilemma. I need to entertain at least once a month to be dishwasher worthy.

INTERVIEWS ARE FUN - Crazy town questioning charade in D.C. this week. A highly qualified candidate for the Supremies - no sexual, drunken or inappropriate behavior in her past - gets questioned by less qualified offenders in a most inappropriate and antagonistic manner. Including pitching hissy fits and stomping out of the room (Miss Lindsey). Essential questions like: What is the definition of a woman (I'm not a biologist); what religion do you practice; and do you think babies are racist? The last one is especially insightful as we have a privileged white man explaining racism to a black woman. On a lighter note, Sir cruz missile holding up a baby book put new sales through the roof so well done. And gosh she didn't cry and whine she was being picked on like a previous candidate.  Hard to shake an accomplished woman which really upsets some people...

CAMPAIGN FAUX PAS - Working in government has, by default, made me an observer and sometimes minor player in politics. However that interest actually goes back to my early 20's when I was the editor of a newsletter named the Washington Watch authored by Tristram Coffin. Tristram was a political observer/writer and network correspondent. Regular digestion of his views on DC foibles probably led directly to my organization of the mailroom to vote for McGovern (my first legal vote). Well at least that was seven votes he would not have received otherwise. 

Also, much like uttering MacBeth in a theatre, one does not say an election is in the bag to the candidate. A certain Mayor was appalled when I said something to that effect. Fortunately for all and sundry he was re-elected notwithstanding the bad juju I had conjured. In another adventure, I created a campaign slogan and did a discreet investigation for another candidate I supported, being careful not to make any predictions, so he lost that one his own. Though I still wonder if he had used the intel I researched (at his request) it might have gone differently. Too nice a person I guess.

Of course my first political campaign was as a senior in high school government class where I was part of the  "Stumping for Humphrey" crowd. I definitely have a Dem/Independent lean. It is a shame that schools do not require classes like Government anymore. We are woefully under educated in the mechanics of our political system.  Today, candidates harp on "hot-button" issues with no substance or integrity to prove their fitness for office. 

💙💛In my "only in Ukraine" segment I saw a sobering but comical video. A farmer and his John Deere pulling an abandoned Russian tank down the road. Green and yellow farm equipment taking    possession of battleship gray by a nonchalant farmer in his fatigue fashioned overalls-priceless.               Peace to Ukraine...

 

HONOR AND GLORY, ALLELUIA (March 14)

WHO ME? I recently got notification that I received a Safety Conference award. As the award winner I got to proof the verbiage related to the award (for the conference brochure) which I was also asked to write.  I found the only misspelled word was (no biggie, right?) in the title "Distiguished Service Award". No n which means I cannot be disti-guished or exti-guished on a whim. However, I could be squished - no n. Forty years and I think that rounds up all the possible positions or honors that I can possibly be nominated for, though my main reason for being involved in the conference is still picking the assorted illustrated brain power available when 2,200 EHS pros get together...

STORY TIME Which reminds me of the first industrial hygiene class I ever took. No IH is not about washing your hands after potty duty. It is the science of all the nasty, germy, chemically, gassy things one must not touch, breathe or eat indiscriminately (hmm, that does sound like potty duty). The teacher was the EHS skate at the now defunct Lansing Motor Wheel company and we remained colleagues (it's all about the networking) for many years. Probably as I was the oldest and only working safety person in the class. 

When he was downsized, he decided to start his own company and was polling all his contacts, including me, to join his fledging enterprise. I decided to wait a bit as new endeavors tend to take time to turn a profit.  He did offer top wages and company cars, though he also had to borrow sampling cassettes from me. Another warning sign. He was sure the world was ready for individualized industrial hygiene consultation at the time. Apparently not.

 I then used my contacts to find him another gig which was EHS at a large local company. They were pleased with my recommendation and his credentials so he was hired. Things were going well until he started taking his somewhat "conservative" opinions from casual conversations to proselytizing sermons in the lunchroom. Sigh. Good guy but he was a "home schooler" and a little preachy to me about being a working Mom. The company called to let me know they had to let him go and wanted to be sure I was not offended-I understood.  My feeling is, he probably packed up the family and headed to South America to convert the heathens.

OTHER NEWS  Although we had some guarded good news on the relative we were concerned about last week, I also got word that my cousin passed away last Friday. She was part of the original six first cousins of my youth. We were all within four years of each other and were constantly together. We are now down to two. Nothing rings your bell about aging and the passing of time like hearing of the latest loss. They seem to come more frequently now.

This was also the week of dealing with large, mostly faceless, companies. Everybody loves the internet until you need to talk to someone face to face. Finding phone numbers and cracking the "roboto chats" is an adventure onto itself. This year, medical insurance seems to be having some burps and hiccups about paying bills. Upon finally reaching someone (solving the automated insistence run-around) the agent I talked with said I don't have to deal with the offending bill as they will, literally, "put on the boxing gloves" for you. Interesting to note BCBS takes such an adversarial position.

Verizon was next with alarming letters saying they would not support my home box anymore. Quick trip to the store and no customers in sight. Wow! In and out. Got a new box and assurances no increase in the bill, until....got an advance look at my bill and there was... an increase in the bill. Back to the store, still pretty empty, to find "no, we're totally booked all day and your person is not here, leave a number" Wha? Was this a movie or practical joke where they move the store and act like we were never there? Followed up with another fight with Missy Automated system and got to a real person who assures me there would be no increase to the bill. Who knows? 

Finally Xfinity with a $50 increase. Now that company is a major challenge to get to real real.  Again, found the combination and got a person. She said I was most polite person she talked to all day--right. Mama said you get more flies with honey etc, etc.... New bill, new modem but who knows? Wanted to finish this before I hook up the new modem, because who knows? "Just plug it in" she says. Well then why do I have to set it up from an app on my phone?  Though far from reality💛💜...Peace to Ukraine

SPRING ROAD MAYHEM & POLITICALLY SPEAKING March 7)

SPRING SPRINGING There are so many signs of the eagerly awaited Spring: more bird choruses; melting snow; southern breezes wafting over the land. But my particular, never-fail sign is the amount of roadkill. You can't drive down a street without sudden evasive maneuvers around the racoon, opossum and squirrel carcasses virtually everywhere. Daddy Racoon cheerily pokes his head out of the cozy burrow assuring the family he will scout out some tasty trashy treats and ends up road splat. Squirrels intent on amorous activities chase a flirty tail rather than stop-look-listen for oncoming traffic. Opossums are just slow. 

Taller vehicles and work trucks seem to have a special affinity for unobserved animal mayhem incidents as I watched the neighborhood trash truck almost wipe out one of our furry free-loading guests. Their lack of vision right in front of them is matched only by their habit of mostly looking at the side of the road to score the next pick-up. When solid waste disposal was under my purview as a safety skate I had to investigate an incident where a driver "almost" wiped out a child who ran in the street-literally ending up right under the open part of the truck. (no injury)

The investigation revealed some uncomfortable work practices. Of course, the Union VP was right on my tail during the investigation (I invite them along) hollering about the unfairness of it all... Ponder that for a second... DIGRESS: Another mystery is why do they always state their case at "shout" level? It seems part of their "shtick". One time I had the pleasure of the local union guys telling their national guy to calm down as I had already told him he was welcome to be part of the investigation after a confined space incident. He was also notable in that he would always, literally, bang a chair, which as a normal person and a Mother, had no effect on me. Same guy used the same tactic when I was testifying in a disciplinary hearing which again had no effect on the Administrative Law Judge who found it rude. You think?

Anyway I found the driver's normal practice was kind of riding the clutch as there were frequent stops and jumping out as the truck was still in slow motion. Ouch. Training notwithstanding-quicker is better is the mindset.  Management is not blameless if insistence on production overrules acting safely. 

CAUTION- POLITICAL RANT Nice to see Michigan is trying to emulate some other cra-cra States who will remain nameless (Texas, Florida). The difference these days is people actually say out loud, after the former prez made it mainstream, what most kept in their heads as we became, oh I don't know, adults and aware that other people live in the world. Unfortunately the "mouthy minority" are being eagerly quoted by a misguided media leading to ridiculous claims and shutting down diversity and difference of opinion. 

Apparently we have a candidate for Michigan Attorney General wanting to arrest the current AG for turning in his name and others to the federal government for committing a felony. That is, calling themselves electors and turning in false information to the federal archives claiming rumpled stiltskin won Michigan in 2020. Than we have two gubernatorial candidates who ostensibly are agreeing that married couples (or others) have no right to contraceptives and the aftermath of that decision obviously. Privacy for others seems to offend them. They may have recanted when they realized what they were suggesting unless they each have multiple children.

 And the especially egregious turkey, running for State legislator in Kent County who thinks rape is something to be enjoyed when a woman is assaulted. His three daughters must be so proud and I am sorry to think of the support they will receive from their misogynist Papa if they are likewise attacked. Kent County also apparently embraces his ideas of anti-semitism, feminism, etc. remarks. What would JC do pseudo christians? 

Like I said brain farts out loud. Not to mention the ongoing assault about teaching actual history or that any family besides the nuclear is an abomination. Welcome to the 1950's. On the other hand I do understand people (some) are afraid that they are not heard and they cannot make ends meet and haven't for a long time with the stagnation of wages and benefits. One desperately sick child or brief layoff could spell disaster to a family. The revolution should be aimed at those who got richer the last ten+ years not our neighbors. Maybe saying outrageous things makes us forget who we are really mad at, but powerless to impact.

FAMILY  Had a great family get-together this week with the "bon mots" coming as quickly as the drinks and food. We do like our celebrations. Got some potentially serious news about one of our group, so we will simultaneously cross our fingers and pray for a positive outcome.

 Joe got some belated Christmas gifts from his Aunt which included a "fart gun". Does she know nine year old boys or what? Joeism -- he mentioned sometimes he watches "inappropriate" movies with his Dad. I asked him what inappropriate meant to him. Basically he said I'm not supposed to see it but I'm with my Dad. Oh well-hope he asks questions. 

💙💛God Bless Ukraine. One beacon of light amidst the bombing of hospitals, orphanages and fleeing civilians.  It made my heart smile to see two elderly folks chase and chastise three Russian soldiers out of their house which further underlines it is not the Russian people who are making war... Peace (MYR in both Ukrainian and Russia-funny that)