BOOMER BEEF

I experienced a bittersweet happening this week.  The good news is I received my personal Medicare card. The bad news is I received my personal Medicare card.  On the one hand -yeah in your face- we boomers are going to be covered by social security and medicare, something we never thought we would  see!  On the other, I am old, old, old according to some archaic rule of age. 

However have you looked at your basic senior citizen lately?  They are the ones windsurfing next to you, zip lining ahead of you or running circles around you in a half marathon.  Yep, not your father's senior citizen.  Which brings up a dilemma - when do we get to just "call it in" so to speak? If all of us seem younger, fitter and more energetic than previous generations, then we also have to maintain that strong, virile activity level when anyone's looking. So many of my compatriots are busily engaging in hobbies they have had scant time to indulge in pre-medicare/SS days.  Taking quilting to the next level of competitive contests; creating entire buildings out of their wood carving habit; camping on mountaintops and starting a second career based on their "real" interests.

When do we just admit, I really don't want to do anything or prove anything.  I worked; I was successful yet under-appreciated; I nurtured my employees and helped them achieve great things (that was appreciated); I don't need to do anything constructive ever again? My entire working life, I was constantly on-call and engaged in projects and putting out fires for many hours everyday.  I have no hobbies to take to the next level and never did.  My joy, my fulfillment was in my work - solving problems, creating programs that had never been done before, saving lives.  What do you follow that up with?  Just got a text from former staff members begging me to "please come back" after a year and a half of being retired! Though the message was half in jest I know the frustrations they feel as people not quite so dedicated or interested take over.  Though flattered, I responded "I'm shopping & later having a glass of wine - you want me to give all that up?"  They of course said yes, yes we do.

I don't have a strong desire to do anything especially helpful, but I feel guilty when I am not engaged in something constructive. My significant other has tasks that he is always puttering around with and even makes lists. Which really brings out the guilty feeling.  I'm totally counting on that feeling to pass. But then he has been at this retirement thing a lot longer.  So I guess I will continue playing with my grandson, scribbling in my blog; entering writing contests and reading as much as I can. With age comes wisdom so the saying goes.  Here's is the contradiction - your age is your age, but your mind is still 16 or 21 or 30. Always a surprise when it hurts when you get up too fast or can't hammer in the gym like you used to.  I refuse to give in to that so that's something.  So sue me; at least I still don't look like a senior citizen (give me my fantasies) but sometimes my days are just nothing earth-shattering, I'm not 20, but fulfilling in their own way.

I also give permission for all "seniors" to do whatever the hell they feel like doing and enjoy each day as if it is your last-no excuses.