Fear is a personal thing. What kills me gives you a minor tickle, well probably not where electricity is involved. Or the concept, the mental picture of what makes me cringe may only make another giddy with hair-raising anticipation. It may be in our genes (jeans) and reinforced by our experiences. My Mama's fears translate into my own and the cycle perpetuates.
Psychologists may say there are certain brain configurations that cause some to seek out more thrills and stimulation, feeding on that personal adrenaline and requiring more and more before they are satisfied. Possibly explains sky divers, lion tamers and 'gator wrestlers. Or maybe its just a lack of opportunities to make a living and hey we live in the swamp after all.
I cannot even begin to understand what a soldier feels just before a battle. Highly trained, well armed or not, hell makes no sense when you are in the middle of it slogging through the brimstone. The fear of what could happen if not defending oneself and good old self-preservation probably takes care of the rest. Onward, ever onward as the alternative is oblivion.
Caution is often described as fear when perhaps it is the most sane action that can be taken. Watching my grandson face his apprehension at jumping in the water and making his way to the ladder reminded me so much of his Mother who took the same cautious and successful approach to new challenges. After a while he was jumping and laughing at will.
I think that sometimes others' fears laid upon someone else's scary attempt part of the fear equation. They cannot face what frightens them so they encourage, or discourage, others to take the first step. It's when fear paralyzes that the real damage occurs.
In some cases the thought of failure handicaps our ability to give that speech, reach for that promotion, write that book, or swim the English Channel. Amazing that the same survival instincts kick in whether facing a loaded gun or giving a speech. Though vegetables and other items have been used as missiles against an unpopular speech/speaker. I think that involves both the 1st and 2nd amendments taken to extremes.
In the third grade I had to take a desk in the front of the room next to the teacher as there weren't enough desks, which never happens today... Back then skirts and dresses were mandatory so keeping everything modestly covered was a daily challenge.
Digress: High School in the 60's meant mini-skirts and no panty hose, only garter belts and stockings. Keeping things covered led to much inspired and complicated seating and rising procedures.
Anyway the teacher would have me read to the class as I always finished my work early and got fidgety. As long as I kept my eyes down, I could get through it, but I was scared. However, it was also an opportunity to play the clown so win-win. No doubt they weren't paying attention anyway. I think she used it as an unscheduled bathroom break.
In my professional career I had many occasions where I was the only one on my side of the fence insisting on adherence to the rules against unwilling and at times, antagonistic audiences. I was secure in the knowledge of experience and had seen how badly things could go from a health or legal perspective. I also managed to irritate the Mayor within the first two months of employment when I questioned methods of investigation used by a strong business supporter of his regime.
Then a short time later I took on a very powerful department head and community leader on an employee issue that he did not agree with, to put it mildly. Both times, though apprehensive, I knew I was right although perhaps more scraping and bowing would have smoothed the path. I became well known early on. One may not be loved but respect works just as well.
You cannot be afraid to tilt against those old windmills. Even if you are the only one and people laugh or deride you for your beliefs or your unwillingness to back down. You're the one in the mirror at the end of the day after all. I remember it took me awhile to understand why Mother called me her Spartan warrior shaking her head, about my always taking the hard way. "You either come home carrying your shield or are carried home on it".
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