THE AGE OF PANDEMIC: MASK-QUERADE Chapter 8

I am fascinated and amazed at the variety of face masks being sported by the population. Some are professionally rendered. Some are hand-made. Some are whatever leftover material, ragged t-shirt, curtain or scarf and rubber bands the user is willing to sacrifice to the cause. I tend to believe that they represent the leanings of the wearer, which means I seen everything from Mickey Mouse to the confederate (small c) flag. The American flag is also popular though I always wonder if that in itself is rather disrespectful of Old Glory to sport pants, shirts, underwear, do-rags and face masks in her image. I mean if it is SO horrible to kneel at the National Anthem, how is wearing the flag any less irreverent. But to set the record straight, I have no problem with either practice. Patriotism is in the heart and the soul not waving a flag around coupled with a MAGA hat.

I will now go on record and apologize to anyone I may have offended in the past....now that I can smell my own breath! My fondness for garlic, pickles and spicy food is now rendering a surprising impression when going out and about in my persoal choice of full cowboy bandanna. What some might refer to as verbal farts. Also I apparently mumble in real life which is becoming totally incomprehensible when trying to chat casually in my undercover mode.

Note:  OH says I mumble and I say he can't hear.  For those who know my family, it's the Roy and Shirley show all over again in a new generation. Also speaking of my parents in their later years; one was legally blind and the other couldn't hear directions but they at least made one good driver between the two of them. Further digression. When Mom and I were running the Free Press route in the middle of the night her driving skills would have made her a great wheel man for the Mafia as my brother used to say. She could always rock the car enough in the massive snow drifts common in Grand Rapids to get us out of trouble with one 100 pound girl pushing.

Another fun thing about masks is you never know who is speaking, not really. If you have something pithy, risque or potentially inflammatory to say your best bet is to stand near someone who fits the comment, preferably not a relative, and fire away.  With any luck the hearer will be confused and helpless to retaliate. Of course the person you choose might not be so charitable.  Fast get-aways are recommended. Or you could employ my father's tactic of motioning a lack of aural and oral abilities. But then in his case it was probably true, not that it stopped him from making a pithy, risque or potentially inflammatory comment usually at a high decibel level.