After another annoying coupon debacle this morning I am forced to surrender to the grocery gods. Yes, you are more powerful and your rules are sufficiently obscure and impossible for most people. You seem benevolent and helpful as we merrily clip our "coups" and try to slide them into a cashier's hands, a smile on our faces, a song in our hearts. Soon our spirits are sent plummeting and we stand embarrassed by our inability to follow the directions and play the game, while the cashier smirks and marks down another point in their insane game of Gotcha. No doubt money is wagered and useless coupons displayed by the register jockeys like tiny colorful trophies.
Basically the rules are simple. Our job is to try to spend as little as possible. Theirs is to tempt you to buy products that you would not normally purchase in order to save money you wouldn't have spent anyway except YOU HAD A COUPON! See how the game goes? Point, game and match to the store. Yes I know there are coupon Queens and Kings who are actually "PAID" to spend money in the store. These people are not real. Even without a Finance degree I believe the stores would actually not be solvent if they allowed the "players" to win more than they wagered. The house always wins.
However it is fun to watch these experts in action. They wait until the groceries are beeped and bagged. As the eager hands reach out for the cash, the players present them with 100 separate coupons which leads to the hilarious game of bag scramble. That is, the baggies and cashies must frantically sort through the jars of yogurt, soup cans and bread to assure each item is in the proper sequence, amount and, no doubt color required. This is usually punctuated by the inevitable public address system announcement "Can I get a price check on the foot fungus medical pads and KY Intensive Sensation?" This is often repeated for maximum effect and embarrassment. The veterans stand their ground, a little smile on their faces. They refuse to accept the attempt at shopper abuse. Revenge is extracted however as the baggies quickly shove the bread to the bottom of the bag to be massacred by the heavier objects that follow.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
POLITICAL SCENES
This depressing trait that no one is responsible for anything and bad things happen due to circumstances beyond our control is wearing thin. It even translates to countries. North Korea sentencing two young women to 12 years of hard labor for stepping over an invisible boundary (alleged)? How anal are we? When our paranoia translates into destruction and mayhem for no other reason than we want to be noticed, we want more power or the most disturbing one of all-in the name of religion- we show we have learned nothing as a supposedly intelligent species capable of higher motivation.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
SCENES OF FREEDOM
I have been thinking a lot about what this country means to me lately. We are going through a terrible time, but innately I believe we will rise like the phoenix strong and beautiful again. It is in fire that metal is tested and made stronger. EWHH yeah I know, but I do feel like that.
In multiple discussions with many people about how they are feeling right now, certain truths seem to emerge. From a foreign friend. He criticizes this country,but he has to admit the energy of this country and the freedom to be who you want to be in America. From died-in-the-wool conservatives. Their frantic dance to criticize everything and try to pin it on one group, or one ideal or one philosophy. The more education we receive, the more we think, the more we explore, the more we debate, the more we realize it is not that simple. There are so many facets to what happens, so many reasons that things progress or regress for that matter. Global warming-civilization's indulgence in fossil fuels or inevitable ebb and flow of Mother Earth's cycles? Evolution or divine -why must they be mutually exclusive? Constant warfare in the name of religion? The lust for power at all costs. Religion-is it meant to suppress individual questions, control the masses or is it true enlightenment vs. fear of the unknown?
For me it all comes down to one or two significant events. My Mother who always espoused the liberal agenda, some might say. But who always dared to say you are allowed to think, apply logic and tell the emperor he has no clothes. Truth. Or a teacher I had in 6th grade, Mr. Molnar. This man had escaped from Hungary from behind the Iron Curtain in the 50's. That's what we called it then. Communism vs. democracy - it was so clear. Risking his life to come to America. When he attained his citizenship the local paper came to take pictures and celebrate this moment. He begged them not to publish the story as he still had family in Hungary who would be threatened by his success. 1961 and he had to protect his family from the tyranny of his home country.
To me that is what this country is about. When a president decides to eavesdrop on its own citizens, does not feel the need to secure a legal subpoena or considers torture in the name of security, I have to protest and say that is not the America that I know and love. I am willing to trade the "illusion" of security for the freedom that I was fortunate to be born to. So be it.
In multiple discussions with many people about how they are feeling right now, certain truths seem to emerge. From a foreign friend. He criticizes this country,but he has to admit the energy of this country and the freedom to be who you want to be in America. From died-in-the-wool conservatives. Their frantic dance to criticize everything and try to pin it on one group, or one ideal or one philosophy. The more education we receive, the more we think, the more we explore, the more we debate, the more we realize it is not that simple. There are so many facets to what happens, so many reasons that things progress or regress for that matter. Global warming-civilization's indulgence in fossil fuels or inevitable ebb and flow of Mother Earth's cycles? Evolution or divine -why must they be mutually exclusive? Constant warfare in the name of religion? The lust for power at all costs. Religion-is it meant to suppress individual questions, control the masses or is it true enlightenment vs. fear of the unknown?
For me it all comes down to one or two significant events. My Mother who always espoused the liberal agenda, some might say. But who always dared to say you are allowed to think, apply logic and tell the emperor he has no clothes. Truth. Or a teacher I had in 6th grade, Mr. Molnar. This man had escaped from Hungary from behind the Iron Curtain in the 50's. That's what we called it then. Communism vs. democracy - it was so clear. Risking his life to come to America. When he attained his citizenship the local paper came to take pictures and celebrate this moment. He begged them not to publish the story as he still had family in Hungary who would be threatened by his success. 1961 and he had to protect his family from the tyranny of his home country.
To me that is what this country is about. When a president decides to eavesdrop on its own citizens, does not feel the need to secure a legal subpoena or considers torture in the name of security, I have to protest and say that is not the America that I know and love. I am willing to trade the "illusion" of security for the freedom that I was fortunate to be born to. So be it.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
RANDOM SCENES
First a shout-out to all you MOMS out there. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! My own chick just left after a couple hours of good conversation and laughter. Love this grown-up version of the two of us. I really admire her ability to befriend and be friendly to folks and always up for an adventure. Her father and I are much more reclusive and solitary. She's just fun to be around!
Out this morning several times looking for a butterfly. It's probably too cold, but I have faith. My little Rose of Sharon bush is finally showing signs of life so it seems only fair that Mother should make an appearance at some time today. Miss you!
Oh yeah another random thought. The prevalence of "round-abouts" these days instead of stop signs and stop lights. Supposed to keep the traffic moving. To me they are suburbia's own version of highway "chicken". Each vehicle approaches from one of four sides. That dramatic moment as we all try to avoid making eye contact-peripheral vision on high alert (well you do need a little warning as several tons of steel makes a pass towards you). Loss of points if you make eye contact as you have acknowledged there are others who may or may not have rights in this battle.
A frantic dive past the yield sign and the inevitable cape-swirl (think bullfighter) as we try to skim past the oncoming cars in the circle. Sometimes I fear I will be trapped in the middle never finding a opening to escape the concrete merry-go-round as I shoot for the originally scheduled left turn. Though it would be worse to be the timid one who hesitates before entering the fray drawing mocking laughter and head shakes from the braver participants.
I am thinking of mounting nasty viking horns on the roof of my vehicle and a totally raucous and annoying car horn to intimidate the opposition. Ah well for 5 seconds of my commute I do get my jollies.
Out this morning several times looking for a butterfly. It's probably too cold, but I have faith. My little Rose of Sharon bush is finally showing signs of life so it seems only fair that Mother should make an appearance at some time today. Miss you!
Oh yeah another random thought. The prevalence of "round-abouts" these days instead of stop signs and stop lights. Supposed to keep the traffic moving. To me they are suburbia's own version of highway "chicken". Each vehicle approaches from one of four sides. That dramatic moment as we all try to avoid making eye contact-peripheral vision on high alert (well you do need a little warning as several tons of steel makes a pass towards you). Loss of points if you make eye contact as you have acknowledged there are others who may or may not have rights in this battle.
A frantic dive past the yield sign and the inevitable cape-swirl (think bullfighter) as we try to skim past the oncoming cars in the circle. Sometimes I fear I will be trapped in the middle never finding a opening to escape the concrete merry-go-round as I shoot for the originally scheduled left turn. Though it would be worse to be the timid one who hesitates before entering the fray drawing mocking laughter and head shakes from the braver participants.
I am thinking of mounting nasty viking horns on the roof of my vehicle and a totally raucous and annoying car horn to intimidate the opposition. Ah well for 5 seconds of my commute I do get my jollies.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
SPRING HAS SPRUNG
Don't' you just love how Michigan heralds Spring. I am carrying umbrella, gloves and ice scraper in the car. All could be used in the course of a few days. Love the fricking April showers, la da da, but enough already. The flowers, grass, trees and robins are literally jumping out of their skins with all the fickle sunshine, rain and arbitrary temperatures. Renewal. Sometimes I wasn't sure it was going to happen with all the doom and gloom every day, but the world keeps clicking regardless of our "temporary" disasters. Actually there is a certain comfort in knowing that what Man and Woman kind does in the course of human events, the world will do its thing despite our best efforts.
Dad finally held his Spring soiree. Lots of good eats and cutthroat poker. Well at least it is to me. For those who don't know, I hate to lose. Whether it be a card game or a fight to the death. The world loves a winner. Which is why the Burt man said "don't' be giving sportsmanlike advice to Kristen". Bahh. Who wants to come in second. Pretty funny though as I browbeat Colleen into "just play the cards, show us your third degree burn at the break". I'm such an itch-bay. She is so sweet, but I really feel bad when I can see her cards every time she holds up her hand. Did I take advantage, well duhhhh....
Marcie starts in my building next week! Crazy! Should be fun, so I guess I better clean up my Dilbert cube to look organized. Heck who am I kidding? You leave everything out so you don't forget it. Remember the days when secretaries did your filing and kept your schedule. Pulling out whatever backup material you needed for the day's assignments? Yeah fig newton of my imagination too. Wish I hadn't wasted my time doing those things as administrative when I could have been listening to my IPOD and texting my buddies. Sigh. Actually not a bad day and feeling pretty good. No swine flu here......
Dad finally held his Spring soiree. Lots of good eats and cutthroat poker. Well at least it is to me. For those who don't know, I hate to lose. Whether it be a card game or a fight to the death. The world loves a winner. Which is why the Burt man said "don't' be giving sportsmanlike advice to Kristen". Bahh. Who wants to come in second. Pretty funny though as I browbeat Colleen into "just play the cards, show us your third degree burn at the break". I'm such an itch-bay. She is so sweet, but I really feel bad when I can see her cards every time she holds up her hand. Did I take advantage, well duhhhh....
Marcie starts in my building next week! Crazy! Should be fun, so I guess I better clean up my Dilbert cube to look organized. Heck who am I kidding? You leave everything out so you don't forget it. Remember the days when secretaries did your filing and kept your schedule. Pulling out whatever backup material you needed for the day's assignments? Yeah fig newton of my imagination too. Wish I hadn't wasted my time doing those things as administrative when I could have been listening to my IPOD and texting my buddies. Sigh. Actually not a bad day and feeling pretty good. No swine flu here......
Sunday, March 29, 2009
CARIBBEAN MUSE CHAPTER 6
Our final night on board, Saturday, we three aft deckies hosted an end of the cruise appetizer and wine party. Mostly fueled by the various bottles of wine we had accumulated over the course of the week and a couple of deli trays. Brian contributed plates of goodies from the buffet and charming little tuxedo clad penguins of chocolate from the ship board cafe. As it was also the anniversary of what would have been Mother's 81st birthday, we began the party with a toast to her who no doubt was seated right in the midst of the hilarity. Fireworks accompanied our toast as the final sunset of the trip displayed itself in timely fashion and succulent glory as old Sol glided majestically into the briny deep of the Atlantic. How's that for freakin' poetry?
The moment led to minor meltdowns for the eldest and youngest of the party for different reasons. Reminiscence has been a large part of the last year and a half both during familiar get-togethers and as part of our new adventures. The rest of us engaged in a three team battle of Trivia. One thing became clear was that each team was lacking in the basics of trivial knowledge; with every team missing the same answers! Perhaps these things really did not happen.....and history lies. However when a brilliant answer was plucked from the proverbial air and somewhere deeper, there was major excitement and much argument over the veracity of the answer.
We all were up early as disembarkation began at 7:30 am. Believing in the kindness of humankind (though after the rudeness experienced throughout the trip, I don't know why I thought that); we headed for the elevators laden with our trunks and treasures. After watching car after car go by jammed to the ceiling and very disinterested passengers, who trying very hard not to make eye contact, we decided to hump it down the stairs. Oddly my suitcase had gained weight so humping down the stairs actually meant bumping it down the stairs as I could not pick it up. This led to further problems at the airport. Strange note: the trip back to the airport was $5less than the trip out. Those gypsy cabbies.....
We were informed at the counter that we were 4 lbs too heavy which results in a $50"shame on you" tax. Apparently if you pay the extra money, the plane mysteriously becomes bigger and able to fly heavier loads; or perhaps you can pump more gas in-who knows? Well choosing the cheaper part of valor, we dumped some bottles of goo that we didn't need-no not the Frangelica-and were able to make fighting weight. Although those, who shall remain nameless, merely checked their bags at the curb and thus avoided the whole "Biggest Loser" debacle altogether.
We spent the next few hours in a cut throat euchre game in the airline member lounge. Jammed in with a bunch of other "elites". Hey we were very happy for the comfortable surroundings, snackies and free Bloody Marys. We floated back to reality in Detroit facing winter once more. Racing to get from terminal "Siberia" to terminal "Way the Heck Over There" and hurtling up and down escalators which included taking one lap through a truly psychedelic corridor (lights & music) the final insult. The only time on the entire trip we were delayed was our puddle jumper from Detroit to Flint. Too much fuel on board so they had to dump it, pump it? Something. The B man said couldn't they just circle the parking lot for awhile. If it burns fuel like our boat, two times around ought to do it.
We then boarded a plane so small, I had to duck getting down the aisle and I'm the short one! Our steward was about the age of Abraham (after the kid grew up). We speculated on what mortal sin he had committed to get the 7:00 pm Sunday night flight duty to Flint. At any rate, he checked our belts, reiterated the messages no one listens to anyway, strapped himself into his jump seat, turned out the light, and as far as I know went to sleep. I'm telling you he was about 90 years old. Hate to see him trying to get the chute open and down if we had to crash land. No doubt, he would be the last one off the bird, like an hour later.
Being with everyone for this cruise was the high point even with the normal upsets and misunderstandings. We are all different and at least there is enough to do on board to do your own thing if you can find it. I think though we all retreated to our respective caves for a while to relish our togetherness and recover from it all! A big YAH to the Committe Chair M-girl who organized the trip.
The moment led to minor meltdowns for the eldest and youngest of the party for different reasons. Reminiscence has been a large part of the last year and a half both during familiar get-togethers and as part of our new adventures. The rest of us engaged in a three team battle of Trivia. One thing became clear was that each team was lacking in the basics of trivial knowledge; with every team missing the same answers! Perhaps these things really did not happen.....and history lies. However when a brilliant answer was plucked from the proverbial air and somewhere deeper, there was major excitement and much argument over the veracity of the answer.
We all were up early as disembarkation began at 7:30 am. Believing in the kindness of humankind (though after the rudeness experienced throughout the trip, I don't know why I thought that); we headed for the elevators laden with our trunks and treasures. After watching car after car go by jammed to the ceiling and very disinterested passengers, who trying very hard not to make eye contact, we decided to hump it down the stairs. Oddly my suitcase had gained weight so humping down the stairs actually meant bumping it down the stairs as I could not pick it up. This led to further problems at the airport. Strange note: the trip back to the airport was $5less than the trip out. Those gypsy cabbies.....
We were informed at the counter that we were 4 lbs too heavy which results in a $50"shame on you" tax. Apparently if you pay the extra money, the plane mysteriously becomes bigger and able to fly heavier loads; or perhaps you can pump more gas in-who knows? Well choosing the cheaper part of valor, we dumped some bottles of goo that we didn't need-no not the Frangelica-and were able to make fighting weight. Although those, who shall remain nameless, merely checked their bags at the curb and thus avoided the whole "Biggest Loser" debacle altogether.
We spent the next few hours in a cut throat euchre game in the airline member lounge. Jammed in with a bunch of other "elites". Hey we were very happy for the comfortable surroundings, snackies and free Bloody Marys. We floated back to reality in Detroit facing winter once more. Racing to get from terminal "Siberia" to terminal "Way the Heck Over There" and hurtling up and down escalators which included taking one lap through a truly psychedelic corridor (lights & music) the final insult. The only time on the entire trip we were delayed was our puddle jumper from Detroit to Flint. Too much fuel on board so they had to dump it, pump it? Something. The B man said couldn't they just circle the parking lot for awhile. If it burns fuel like our boat, two times around ought to do it.
We then boarded a plane so small, I had to duck getting down the aisle and I'm the short one! Our steward was about the age of Abraham (after the kid grew up). We speculated on what mortal sin he had committed to get the 7:00 pm Sunday night flight duty to Flint. At any rate, he checked our belts, reiterated the messages no one listens to anyway, strapped himself into his jump seat, turned out the light, and as far as I know went to sleep. I'm telling you he was about 90 years old. Hate to see him trying to get the chute open and down if we had to crash land. No doubt, he would be the last one off the bird, like an hour later.
Being with everyone for this cruise was the high point even with the normal upsets and misunderstandings. We are all different and at least there is enough to do on board to do your own thing if you can find it. I think though we all retreated to our respective caves for a while to relish our togetherness and recover from it all! A big YAH to the Committe Chair M-girl who organized the trip.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
CARRIBEAN MUSE CHAPTER 5
Last port of call was Grand Turk Island. As it was recently devastated by a hurricane (apparently the flat islands fare worse), there was little to do onshore. They did offer a tour of the "hurricane flattened areas" along with stories from the survivors. Not conducive to a relaxing tour of paradise.
Fortunately there was another heavenly option in the offing which was a full-blown, Jimmy Buffett, pounding DJ's, giant bong-filled alcohol fueled, cheeseburgers in Paradise, Margaritaville! What a gas. We made it that far from the ship and planted anchor for the rest of the day. They had a swim up pool which we left to the younger crowd as it was quite nippy (70's I believe) and stayed with a poolside table where we could watch all the action. There was non-stop music and silly games instigated by the DJ in charge.
There was a memorable beer guzzling competition where we were amply represented by our own Matthew R. who played by the rules and lost! But we were proud to back such a worthy entry into the frothy fray which included some spillage and spitting. This was followed by a hysterical scavenger hunt which had Kristen R. scurrying (they are definitely a party couple as is evidenced by their frantic dance off on board to break the 80's trivia tie).
Highlights included her frantically racing around securing beach towels, clothing, drinks, cell phones and one priceless moment when she had to put the shorts on her own cousin! She lagged considerably behind the rest as they were 1) button fly shorts; 2) belonged to his wife so fit was an issue, and 3) well geez it was her cousin! One gentleman, who I believe was European basically stripped off his trunks to supply one of the contestants which led to a very interesting re-robing as he apparently was wearing nothing underneath and beach towels really don't cover the rear very well! Kristen ended up as one item away from the last showdown which was just as well. The final stunt was selecting a likely male specimen, the woman draping herself completely over her victim and having him perform as many push-ups as possible before collapsing into a heap of squished and exhausted puddle of bodies.
A liberal dose of margarita's, beer, etc. of course added the the frivolity of the occasion, but as no one had been asked to steer the boat, we were all able to stagger back onboard and no harm done. The B man and myself, after a mixture of sun, booze, weird food and hilarity decided to fore go dinner that night in favor of taking turns hanging over the railing. As he basically probably only downed one beer, I guess it was the food. Ah well an early night is not all bad....
Fortunately there was another heavenly option in the offing which was a full-blown, Jimmy Buffett, pounding DJ's, giant bong-filled alcohol fueled, cheeseburgers in Paradise, Margaritaville! What a gas. We made it that far from the ship and planted anchor for the rest of the day. They had a swim up pool which we left to the younger crowd as it was quite nippy (70's I believe) and stayed with a poolside table where we could watch all the action. There was non-stop music and silly games instigated by the DJ in charge.
There was a memorable beer guzzling competition where we were amply represented by our own Matthew R. who played by the rules and lost! But we were proud to back such a worthy entry into the frothy fray which included some spillage and spitting. This was followed by a hysterical scavenger hunt which had Kristen R. scurrying (they are definitely a party couple as is evidenced by their frantic dance off on board to break the 80's trivia tie).
Highlights included her frantically racing around securing beach towels, clothing, drinks, cell phones and one priceless moment when she had to put the shorts on her own cousin! She lagged considerably behind the rest as they were 1) button fly shorts; 2) belonged to his wife so fit was an issue, and 3) well geez it was her cousin! One gentleman, who I believe was European basically stripped off his trunks to supply one of the contestants which led to a very interesting re-robing as he apparently was wearing nothing underneath and beach towels really don't cover the rear very well! Kristen ended up as one item away from the last showdown which was just as well. The final stunt was selecting a likely male specimen, the woman draping herself completely over her victim and having him perform as many push-ups as possible before collapsing into a heap of squished and exhausted puddle of bodies.
A liberal dose of margarita's, beer, etc. of course added the the frivolity of the occasion, but as no one had been asked to steer the boat, we were all able to stagger back onboard and no harm done. The B man and myself, after a mixture of sun, booze, weird food and hilarity decided to fore go dinner that night in favor of taking turns hanging over the railing. As he basically probably only downed one beer, I guess it was the food. Ah well an early night is not all bad....
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