FREEDOM OF CHOICE?

We all make choices every day. Some are under our control and some are thrust upon us so to speak. What am I going to wear today? What's for breakfast? Should I shower or just spot clean? Should I even get up today as it looks suspiciously like yesterday, and the day before and the day before....sorry quarantine thinking.

Berkley, California recently decreed no tempting, fattening, nutrient-deficient goodies in the checkout lane. Not sure it's needed as everyone is just fiddling with their phones whenever they have a 2-second pause in their lives, including traffic lights. Several years ago New York decreed a "fat" tax on folks purchasing the largest pail of soda they could manage to get their sausage fingers around. Of course, if we go back to "olden" days (my youth) portions were smaller, but then so were the prices. I swear one could order a nickel cherry coke at the local lunch counter. Great for me, as I despise soda and could actually sip a teeny tiny glass with the gang and not look like a total nerd. 

Oh the rationale is all above board. A minimum age for tobacco and alcohol makes some sense. Lowering the hunting age to seven not so much. However the prohibition against immoral, illegal and fattening food and drink smacks of the "Nanny State". Yes, larger people have more health issues of which society may bear the burden in some respects, but responsibility for our diet choices has to rest with the eater/eatee. No responsibility, no accountability. I personally know of folks who would rather rely on workers' compensation or disability insurance rather than actually commit to losing the  weight and going back to work or using the time and money for education and a better job. Usually these are the same people who complain that illegals or people on welfare are lazy and getting by "on my dime".  Look in the mirror.

However social (read individual) welfare pales when compared to major corporations that rely on government handouts as well through tax breaks, tax dodges, refunds and, lately, rescue funding. The same businesses who complain of too much regulation and social pressure to provide, you know, decent wages and health care, were fighting for their spot at the trough. They were the first in line to garner a share of the federal pot that was supposed to help small businesses whose one month loss of business spelled disaster. The crowding frenzy was overrated though as "friends of the administration" got theirs first. 

Wearing masks is another mandate that people rail against as government overreach. Closing schools and prohibiting sports so, I don't know, Mom and Grandpa won't die was way too much control. 

Digress:  why so much emphasis and sniveling about the 10% who actually participate in sports is puzzling until one realizes how much money it generates. 

"You can't tell me how to live or impact my freedom." "This is America."  So why in the name of all that is satanic and holy is it equitable for society/government to discriminate against one gender? Women and people of color have been denied choices for most of our country's history. Who said that only white men have the brain cells available to make all the decisions for others with no obvious understanding of what those decisions impact? Lip service period.

Amazingly, women and people of color only got the vote in the last century 150 years after the establishment of the country  and many were jailed and murdered (read protests) in their efforts for justice. Women were banned from holding property and making financial decisions, etc. well into the 1970's. People of color were sheparded into less desirable neighborhoods and denied loans that would have helped them become independent home owners, attend decent schools and build equity. Why?

Choices and privacy are the right of each individual unless they choose to involve others. Children are separated from their parents at the border, many are homeless, many do not have enough to eat, access to medical care or a stable and safe home, but the "pro-birthers" have no conscience or problem with all of that apparently. What is especially interesting is the same group is against sex education and dedicated to denying funding for contraception.  If sex is only for procreation there are a lot of catholics and rich people who are obviously not having sex. Plus there is quick condemnation for the young woman who becomes pregnant out of marriage or the "poor" having a flock of children. Not seeing our culpability in these inevitable results is myopic to unfathomable at best. In checking the facts, there are less abortions under a Democratic administration than a Republican one due to an emphasis on good education and access to birth control. The old Viagra and vasectomies are insured and birth control is not-Men vs. Women discrimination game.

 One, it is no one's business what goes on between a doctor and the patient. Two, though physiologically designed to carry a child, a woman risks her health with every pregnancy for a myriad of possible complications up to and including birth. For childless women and men to weigh in with their opinion seems obtrusive and disingenuous. And three, women have been discriminated against in both the military and business world when becoming pregnant thus negatively impacting their  military careers, promotions and often their employment. It is not unusual for a woman to be told she gets paid less, is not eligible for promotion or will lose her job permanently if she becomes pregnant. Men are celebrated for "causing" a pregnancy. Women are slut-shamed, discriminated against and judged for the same.

Ruth Bader Ginsberg took on the military when women were being forced to have an abortion or lose their military status. Yes, she fought and won the right of women to "choose" life. Her philosophy never changed. She always stood for the concept that ALL are equal under the law. For choice. 

The concept that pseudo christian white politicians have a right to interfere and breach someone's privacy is especially galling when one considers that most Americans do take a more liberal view on a person's right to choose their own destiny. Remember we balk at the "Nanny State" of forcing "so-called acceptable" behavior no matter what the reason.

 Digression: An original Star Trek episode explained it this way. An alien race needed humans to revive the agriculture on their planet. They had spent so much time expanding their mental capacities they were no longer physically able to perform the work needed to sustain their own lives. Their mental powers were strong enough to provide an imaginary and idyllic world for the humans who would work for them. However the humans fought back. They summed up their disbelief by saying something like "you humans find captivity, no matter how benevolent, as so abhorrent you would rather die". 

I find it interesting that the same group supporting the taking away of a woman's rights to her own destiny also rabidly support everyone having as many guns as they like. Perhaps they consider it an acceptable form of birth control.  Rather gives a whole new meaning to the "Don't Tread on Me" flags. 

EMPLOYEE ROULETTE

 

I don't know if it is pandemic related or not but have you ever noticed that folks servicing customers these days in various stores do not really know what the heck they're doing; don't understand the product line/s; how to use them; where items are located or if they are even in stock? Although it is the norm in the Walmarties of the world. 

QUICK DIGRESS: I do not darken the halls of Walmart due to cheap merchandise and abysmal treatment of their employees, many of whom have to rely on food stamps, etc. to survive while destroying the businesses of other long-standing stores in many small towns.

I confess I did make stop in a Wallymart once to look for an item I was looking for all over with no success. Not one person 1) knew what I was talking about and, 2) had no clue where to find or assist in finding said mystery item. Another unfortunate visit was related to an investigation of an ex-employee who apparently enjoyed committing 2nd degree larceny rather than conduct work duties.  Even got a "client" to lie for him when I called for verification of said employee's whereabouts.  Long story for another time, but suffice it to say police were involved and employee resigned rather go through a fun and interactive discharge process. Though I did look over my shoulder for months afterward.

Especially at hardware or building construction establishments the presence of a knowledgeable and trained employee would, on its surface, appear to be a strong requirement. Instead one gets Ethan or Amber who, busy with their phones, emanate hostile vibes upon being interrupted. Literally, you can see the little red thunderbolts circling their heads like a graphic novel's attempt to display the hero/anti hero's mood.

"Do you have a whatamacallit to filtrate the dobbly dodah in my toilet tank?" Wah? "Watamacallits are in plumbing, let me call someone.  Sure. Fool me once on you, fool me twice on me. There is no "someone" in plumbing is there? Not really.  Well sometimes there's a "George" or "Amanda" who have actually performed the task and are extremely knowledgeable not only of whatamacallits, but doohingies and howsthatagains. They can even walk you through install or gently direct you to "a professional" after they have ascertained your rehab abilities. They are uncanny that way. After a detailed description of multiple steps to accomplish the task followed by a "that's all there is to it" you usually get the point (I can't do that).

But my whole point in this prolonged and elaborate treatise is the dearth of Georges and Amandas out there providing expert assistance. We were lucky to find a fairly competent one today. I mean we all ended up reading the literature that came with the product but actual experience was in play enough to make an educated decision. If there is a knowledgeable employee, they are usually mobbed (surprise) by repair deficient customers or possibly they just do not exist anymore. 

Why is it management thinks the way to save money is to "retire" the older more knowledgeable employees in favor of the disinterested, inexperienced and unwilling to learn doofus. Because they are cheaper to employ obviously. Meanwhile this translates into customers and sales lost and these cheap employees usually leaving after a short period of time anyway. So back to hiring, training, etc., over and over and over. Get a clue hiring managers and learn to recognize value even in a more expensive package. Your customers will love you for it. That gold in the teeth, lead in the rear and silver in the hair turn into pure platinum on the sales floor. 

THE AGE OF PANDEMIC: CHAPTER 24 Who Do You Trust?

 

God loves those who love their neighbor as themselves and promotes that when we can do someone "a solid" we should. Often we miss the signs of someone needing assistance or we assume they don't want interference or we have to be somewhere sometime so we bogey stealthily away. Then there are times when if you can't hear the knocking on your soul you are just plain oblivious of possible black check marks in your permanent record and some hard questions on the final exam.

All of this is to set the scene for my own recent opportunity to balance the books in some small way. We made a quick stop at the ATM while eyeing another car coming rapidly from the wrong direction and figuring the odds of parking and hitting the ATM first. Noting the handicap license increased my odds but I did not want to look like I was racing frantically for the door to...well, beat the odds. No problem. I was in and out before the lady managed to exit her vehicle and hobble her walker to the sidewalk.

She drove a very nice car which however carried some evidential scarring from possible disagreements with perhaps a utility pole, other vehicle or unwary pedestrian. She painfully pulled her walker forward which sported the cut tennis balls that folks using the appliance favor when decorating the front feet. I of course stopped and held the door for her and her metal friend.  She immediately started a conversation about how she never used these machines before and she desperately needed to get some money. This is when I noted an array of cards and money in her hand. I volunteered to help her with the machine and escorted her into the lobby. 

She started spouting her pin number aloud (fortunately I was the only witness) as she handed me her bank card. I showed her my ATM card and asked if she had a similar one. Apparently not. Oh dear.  Well I put in her card and tapped the odd numbers/letter code she gave me. To my surprise it worked! Then when I asked her how much money she wanted she said "oh no, I only want to change this $100." I then noted she had several similar bills. Another oh dear. I mentioned I might have enough 20's to make change if she would just hang on a moment. She tried to hand me the $100 bill immediately which I politely declined saying "let me see if I have the right change". Fortunately I did and we made the exchange. I asked if she needed any other assistance and she said no and blessed me.

Feeling good about the whole exchange I moved on. Karma was as swift as the next stop where the OH found not 1, not 2, but 3 pairs of shoes that actually fit! Now this is beyond incredible as he has a very difficult size. He keeps bowling and golf shoes 20 years or more as it is so hard to find a pair that fit.

Final stop was a furniture store where I found an interesting vase I did not know I wanted. As I went over to pay I remarked, "I don't know why the lady just didn't go to a store and buy something to get change".  Uh Oh....  Examining her $100 bill I thought it looked funny. Oh dear.... Passing it under the pexi-glass barrier (today's pandemic world) I waited for the inevitable "where did you get this bill, or could you just wait over there a minute" while they called the police. Thankfully she passed a magic pen over it and determined it good and gave me change. 

All of which makes me ponder. Sometimes we just have to trust blindly and take the lumps if an act of kindness backfires as a part of life. It is better to take the chance to build that integrity equity by doing the right thing regardless of the outcome.

PONDERING THE INEVITABLE

 

As I add to the personal calendar of life I find I am drawn to reading the local obituaries for my own information each day. What's the old joke - "you read them to see if you're in them". Anyway when I was a Personnel Director I followed them as it often alerted me to an employee's family member or, heaven forbid, an employee who loosened these earthly bonds and moved on.  Participants were always 30 years older than me, then 15, until now it's pretty much my age up to 20 years or so older; and some are actually people I know. 

I know one thing. I believe I will be writing my own obit and save my family the task of trying to explain my life. You can tell the ones that use canned phrases that no doubt the funeral director came up with and then you find some that are truly personal and endearing that capture that person's essence. Some focus on their careers, but the best ones capture what they were good at, who they impacted and the eccentricities that made them unique. 

What got me pondering was the passing of an employee I knew from "way back when". The last time I really remember interacting with him was when I got the frantic call that two guys were found unconscious in a sewer vault and were being rushed to the hospital - conditions unknown. All I remember of the harrowing ride to the scene was mouthing "please don't be dead, please don't be dead". Upon arrival I donned my hard hat (why am I always in heels and a dress when I get an emergency) and stepping into a mish-mosh of fire personnel, plant management/union personnel and "the media".  Of course they always get there first and get my standard "no comment" though I looked great (or bizarre) in the later newscast in my bright green trench coat and hard hat (note previous comment on attire). 

At the hospital I immediately entered the emergency room where one of the men was up and talking, good; crying not so good as he was convinced the other man was dead. He gave me a bear hug and begged for information. Note: He was just retrieved from a sewer vault, so one can imagine the state of his clothes and mine after the hug. A small note of humor in a perilous situation is that I always seem to be talking to authority in a state of disarray. 

Although the other man was found face down and had aspirated (inhaled) sewage he was holding his own. (He did spend 30 days in ICU but he recovered and returned to work). Talking to the families is always sensitive and it is imperative that you give them accurate information and support. What made this incident especially interesting was comforting his wife in one room while his "alleged" female friend was in another. That was definitely a time when discretion was the better part of valor as they say.

At that time, confined space entry was finally and newly defined specifically by standards (after 20 years) and I spent at least a week training all underground entry workers on recognition, air monitoring, safe entry and rescue in the new procedures. Of course, once the incident happened and the first employee collapsed at the bottom (bad air which the monitor indicated) the second went right down after him and consequently collapsed as well. Fortunately he called for help before attempting rescue. 

In the heat of the moment human nature often thinks of saving another instead of themselves. The hardest thing to do is to do nothing, which is exactly what their training indicated, and call for help. Though if the rescue apparatus had not been disassembled before the first casualty went back down the hole, it would have indicated other issues for investigation but there would not have been injuries.

After hours at the hospital and pursuing investigation I made it home late that night knowing that I needed to be early into the office to retrieve training records and programs as I had no doubt MIOSHA would be our first visitor.  As I was thumbing through files and paperwork my boss was screaming at me about whether I had checked with the hospital yet and obviously I didn't care about the employee's condition. 1) I knew I wouldn't get any more from the hospital at that hour than I did when I left the night before; 2) we would have to be ready to answer some very hard questions immediately from the authorities; 3) she never showed at the hospital the day before or assisted in any way as she always undermined me when she could; and 4) I am sorry that I did not know she was a nut case until I ended up taking her job when she started crying at a budget hearing on camera. At least I learned never to cry about your budget when you're on camera.

Of course to show that life always has surprises, I was out deathly ill when the citations came in about the incident which always carry a timetable for response. Staff just put the paperwork in my inbox which no one checked. Consequently I get a call from the Director of the whole department blasting me about why I didn't bring the citations to their attention immediately. To his credit he did apologize in person later due to, duhh, my being deathly ill and no one looking at my inbox.

It was heartening to see the injured employee's obit, if that is an appropriate remark, knowing he made it into his 80's. Though how he worked it out between the two ladies I never did pursue. After the incident the two employees became my A-1 instructors for confined space training!  Nothing like cheating death to make a believer out of a person.

PONDERING PARKING

 

Ever notice the games of "brinkmanship" that occurs in and around parking areas? There is something sacred about finding the best spot near the door or perhaps a prize is involved. I play as well, I won't lie, but sometimes I just chalk up the bad spot to achieving more "steps" on my fitbit. I am more concerned with finding a space that I can pull through and exit frontwards. Not only does one have to dodge distracted drivers when driving around the lot, but backing up is fraught with the hazards of daydreaming pedestrians and cars zipping down the lanes "willy-nilly". 

Of course, by the time I exit the store my sedan sight lines are totally obliterated by the monster SUVs and trucks everyone seems to love surrounding me. I think they should be relegated to their own area actually. It is only by the grace of... as I edge slowly backwards and pray I am seen before getting walloped by someone cruising the lanes. But the distracted walker is even more insidious. People walk gaily and wantonly, drifting from one side to the other, with or without cart, stopping to smell the roses or whatever. What happened to watching where you are going and looking for hazards. All they know is the mantra "pedestrians have the right of way, la la la la la".  Saw that on the MSU campus when I was a student. Marked crosswalks were magically transformed into concrete and steel trench boxes invisibly protecting the walkers who plunged mindlessly into the midst of speeding cars. 

For those who have time to burn apparently, parking lot bingo is played by prowling endlessly up and down the lanes waiting for a premier spot to open up so that they can pounce with cat-like speed into the inviting portal. When it comes to blows or at least obscene gestures is when someone snakes from the other direction thinking "oh goody this spot just opened up" or from the other side trying to pull through (me). Depending on the size of vehicle, and driver, I make a decision on the recklessness of my path and act accordingly. 

When I see a line of cars bumper to bumper along a street I am quite impressed with the parallel prowess displayed by the the old-timers. I say old-timers as apparently the skill is no longer required in the driving test. To train our daughter on the maneuver her Dad offered himself up as a traffic cone that she had to back around without hitting anything, including Dad. As she trained in my sexy Riviera with its flat back window (loved that car), this was no easy task and required some skill.

 Like most people I do not look for parallel parking adventures but I do remember one time picking up my Father from the hospital. I was chatting away with my sister when I neatly and without fanfare backed into a parallel parking space right in front of the door in one smooth move. She was extremely impressed. As was I. Not paying attention is apparently the key. With cars being able to perform the task without human intervention, alas the skill will probably disappear altogether.

Of course another issue with the "older" driver is when should they stop driving and parking? Taking away the keys is taking away the freedom. Even if you only drive to church on Sundays, or the casino on Wednesday, we hate to be reliant on the "hope" someone is available to chauffer. Though a couple of ladies that the OH saw at church last Sunday are on the cusp. They moved so awkwardly that he opined that he can't figure out how they can be driving. I said well obviously they couldn't walk to church. I just hope no one was "cruising" the parking lot unaware. Nothing like flying canes, oversized purses and sensible shoes to totally mess up your day.

WOMEN'S SUFFERING-AGE & OTHER HI-JINKS

 

In honor of the anniversary of the 19th amendment I thought I would tell an "inspirational", nah, amusing story of one of my female rebellions. As a woman in a non-traditional occupation being "invisible" happened frequently. Sometimes it was a good thing when it gives one time to survey the issues and devise a strategy or when one is underestimated to good advantage. You either get a surprised or annoyed countenance turned your way when you dare to assert your right to intervene. All enjoyable. As I have stated before you need a thick skin and sense of humor in life. I think I took a whole month before I "P.O'd" the Mayor and Human Relations Director. I still blame my Mother for raising us to have a brain, ego and self-worth.

 In a previous position I was the lone female "safety person". As such everyone knew me and had probably talked to me at some point or another. It is always a little embarrassing when an old colleague stops me on the street to say hello and I am clueless as to their identity. But with odds of 1,000 employees to one (me) it is inevitable.  

Anyway there was a men's golf league fully supported by management (as half of them were in it) both financially and also with the privilege of leaving early for play once a week. Now anyone who knows me knows I am not the athletic-type. I am active and did a lot of climbing, jumping, crawling, lifting, carrying, etc. in my safety role, however I am not a lover of or adept at sports. Golf is especially taxing as it takes patience and practice - two things of which I am not an advocate. Frustration is the usual outcome. However I played with my husband and father. I saw it as a bonding exercise for the two of them. That I "sucked" at it was just the added bonus.

Anyway the female contingency at work started a golf league but unfortunately without the kind of support the men enjoyed. No financial incentives and no leaving early. Somebody has to answer the phone right? So they approached old non-athletic me and said "you need to join the men's league, everybody knows you". Well trust me, this was not a tradition the men wanted to change and my innermost thought was "why do I need another mountain to climb in the women's rights cause?" Well one more as it turns out. Fortunately two of my male office mates were willing to strike a blow for equality and  the team of "Larry, Darold and Darelle" was born. I am blessed they did not use my right name for the last place trophy.

Of course I got my rear quarters kicked each and every week. In fact one week I forgot my golf shoes and they insisted I play barefoot. Rather pleasant actually. Two things were really unfair though. 1) they made me hit from the men's tees (which usually meant I might hit it as far as the women's tees; and 2) I could not enjoy the beverage cart because this "she-bear" does not go in the woods like the boys can. One constant however was whoever got paired against me sweat bullets until they were reassured that I was not going to beat them. This motivates however. I once got a birdie (entirely by accident I am sure) and my opponent managed to eagle the hole. Figures.

However, it was amazing how much business was discussed throughout the exercise. As the one not drinking I was able to glean and store away important intelligence for later use. Also I received even more cooperation at work for just being "one of the guys". 

Digress:  Anyone in the business world knows that most deals and important discussions often take place in restaurants, golf courses and men's rooms. Yes. We actually had to chase down one of our more generous management reps in the bathroom after the union side had cornered him there during a contract negotiation. Imagine their surprise. However, the trick is to not be hung up on business, BS, talk biz, BS. It works.

Anyway after that humiliating (for me) first year, the guys opened the doors and golf became a mixed company activity. Eventually it became a separate but equal proposition. All the women ever wanted.

Another funny story from that time. I discovered the best humor or joke is the one you do not even know you are committing? performing? When I agreed to join the golf league my OH (other half) had only one suggestion, which is amazing because all the guys wanted to do on league was to give me buckets of advice on my game. Anyway he bought me pink golf balls saying no one would ever mistake which was my ball. Cute, as if the one five yards in front of me was probably not my drive. 

 Our general manager, a bachelor at the time, was quite a prolific serial dater. Working through the secretarial pool was more than just a saying. Anyway he noticed my pink balls and asked if he could have one for his girlfriend. Without hesitation, and without intention I might add,  I said "Sure how many do you want?"  It was only after I heard the guffaws from the other men and his red face did I realize what I had inferred.  OOPS. One of my better gaffes.....

BUMPER PONG

 

Had a little fun adventure the other day. The water route to and from the lake includes a low bridge that I am very dramatic about ducking when we pass under. But to be fair there is probably only about 6 inches of clearance for the captain who also ducks while maneuvering the tight channel. However with my claustrophobic nature I am practically prone, eyes shut upon entering the narrow passage. Grandson Joe finds this hilarious and sits up in his seat just to show me how he can bravely clear the obstacle without incident.  The day is coming my boy when you will be too tall like the rest of us. 

Lately we have been entertaining one couple at a time on a lake tour. Takes about an hour and the Captain has a regular spiel pointing out the sights along the way. My role is strictly ancillary as well as being taxed with taking the mandatory souvenir photo for the guest's future enjoyment.

 One can only raise the canopy or Bimini they call it, after passing under the bridge. There are signs on either side of the bridge cautioning "Is Your Top Down?" which of course prompts the hanging of bra tops at times along the edge. The "Top" of course refers to the Bimini. I shudder to think of the fate and the horror of the unwary who do not realize the Bimini is always taller than the bridge. I explain all this so the next part makes sense.

Once free of the of the bridge we coast along slowly so we can put "Our Top Up". We also pull the bumpers onboard that are helpful if one gets too close to the walls while coming under the bridge. Upon our return trip, the process is reversed. I was efficiently tossing the bumpers out over the side when one just kept going. Oops. Now they are not that expensive, but expensive enough and a floating hazard to other boaters.

Our captain having seen the maneuver performed by another, confidently swung around and told me he would bring the errant bumper amid ship (between the pontoons). Leaning way out I of course missed it on the first run arrrggghh.  I listened for the sound of the hard rubber bumper being ground up in the motor, but apparently not an issue. So we made a second run. "Lie down on your stomach and reach out" he called.  So half on the boat, half in the water I made a wild grab for the rope. "GOT IT". Success is followed by wondering how one gets up gracefully, in front of guests, looking cool and confident. 

As far as I know they enjoyed and applauded no doubt believing it was part of the show and no lives were lost. 

These are actually two different couples, but the driver's the same. LOL.