SCENES FROM BOWLING

From my earlier notes you know I have been struggling with the after shocks of vertigo for about a month. Thought it was time to stop babying myself and tried bowling. Well picture this-I lean in one direction plus hold a weight on that side. My first couple of balls my body struggles mightily to follow the ball down the gutter. The only thing stopping me is the thought that I would probably not fit in the ball return. Upon returning to the upright position, I would turn and then stagger off the "runway". Much to the amusement of my team mates.

The way I see it, if you're out there exposing your frailties to the masses, expect hoots of laughter. We are so cruel.

First night was scary but at least I did not totally fall down, just grabbed things-score machines, tables, chairs, people.

The next attempt was subbing on my husband's league. Nine guys and me. Talk about pressure. Although I know I don't hold their kind of averages, I did not want to totally suck, or fall on my face for that matter. I shook like a an autumn leaf in a fall windstorm. First game ugly. Second and third games pretty good. Mind over matter I silently congratulate myself. Then my husband says, "ahh, don't worry about it, they don't expect the women to do that good". Gee thanks. I bowled my heart out-LOL.

Kind of goes with his first comment when I subbed and worried about my performance. He says they won't notice, they aren't looking at your bowling anyway. Should I be flattered???

CHRISTMAS SEASON THOUGHTS

OK - the vendetta against trans-fats has got to stop. Every year the last day at work before Christmas I buy fudge at the local Quality Dairy to take into the office. Not a daily, weekly or monthly habit. Just an end of the year indulgence. What's up with the fudge???? Went to two QD's and a grocery store-no fudge! Actually hardly any decorated cookies either. Another conspiracy by the "fat police" no doubt. We are not allowed to sugar ourselves to death. Perhaps if we all sign a pledge not to sue if we pack on a few pounds or blame anyone but the guy or gal wielding the fork our goodies will be allowed out of their sweet prison. Sweet sweet prison, dripping with icing and walnuts and syrup, but I digress....

2nd thought. No matter how beautiful the tree (course I'm easily impressed) my spouse is never quite satisfied. He is the sole arbiter of how the tree shall be decorated. I gave up years ago trying to help. Kristen persevered until the end-every year placing ornaments only to find them moved to a more "perfect" spot. It became a game for the two of them. This year it truly is fantastic but not perfect apparently. I came home the other night to find that he had bought 38 more ornaments to put on the tree! I said where? Anyway it is truly beautiful. Really it is!!!

FIRST CHRISTMAS

Another advantage of children is reliving your life through them. I read my daughter's post about being irresistably overcome with the spirit of Christmas and obtaining a tree, decorations and an extra sock with an "M" for the apartment. The way she described her husband's smile as he walked in and saw her efforts struck a cord. The admission that she hadn't felt this way for a long time about the holiday provided an "Oh yes, I remember" moment for me as well. The spirit she feels, of course, is love and belonging and knowing this is her place - his and hers. Enjoy.

I remember our first small apartment and our first little tree all in blue ornaments. We didn't have very much but we had it all....

SCENE AT DINNER

Funny thing happened at dinner the other night. My husband & I were at a local restaurant and I called my daughter to see if she wanted to join us as her husband was working late. She was busy but when she heard where we were she said "my boss is probably there at the bar. Look for a woman with blonde hair wearing a long brown coat."

Well I looked around and spotted them. My daughter said send them a drink from me. We asked the waitress to accommodate the request and were surprised that the couple accepted the drink (showed up on my bill) but never acknowledged it even though I said to tell them it was from Kristen. Maybe they looked around and didn't see her. Oh well.

On the way out we walked right by the couple and I said "uh oh, she is wearing a sparkly black jacket. These are strangers." Later in the car it dawned on me. "We just tried to pick up a strange couple!" Yes, I'm out the money but what really hurts is, they rejected us. We laughed all the way to the mall!

GIFT GIVING SCENERIO

My spouse has a strange sense of humor. We were out shopping the other day and one of the items he picked up was a pair of driving gloves for himself. When we got home he proceeded to wrap them for himself for Christmas. With a true air of sincerity (well you know) I told him "now you have something to open Christmas morning".

I had also grabbed a cute white "hoodie" as we waited in line and when I tried to wear it, he said no, you have to wrap it for Christmas. We reached an agreement after hours of negotiation (a couple of minutes). I may wear said garment but must wrap it Christmas Eve in preparation for its grand re-opening in the morning. Like I said. My husband has a strange sense of humor. Apparently anything of personal need, want or desire purchased this time of year is considered a "gift" regardless of who buys it - including the consumer. Makes his job easier I must say.

Another odd fact. I don 't mind standing in line this time of year. I am actually cheerful, speaking to strangers (which if it is not work-related I do not bother), remaining polite, even friendly, to overworked and underpaid clerks. What is up with that? Merry Merry.

CHRISTMAS LETTER ...

Happy end of 2006 and hello to 2007. Since I am cluttering up the internet with my babbles, I must as well write a Christmas (yes, I said Christmas) letter for those who wish to read -no extra paper required!

The year probably began with Kristen's graduation from Michigan State with a BA in Advertising last December. She was busily texting and photographing herself looking bored throughout the unfortunate address from an obscure anthropologist (which actually would be the definition of anthropology - ancient, obscure). But Kristen realized later as the names were being read "this was a very big deal and she was proud of her 4 1/2 years of hard work". Actually so are we!

She then surprised us with the news in February that her love had asked her to marry him before the end of the year. Actually she wanted to elope to Vegas immediately. We gently suggested (some would say browbeat) that it would be a wonderful opportunity to have a great party for family and friends and she agreed to hold off the nuptials until September! As we pointed out that she was blowing through her inheritance in one year her rebuttal was she was trying to save us some money. We opted for the party.

A wild ride for six months, but it was a wonderful event and all who attended said they had never had so much fun at a wedding. Her answers to Pastor's questions rang out in such pure joy everyone in the church chuckled. The chaste kiss her groom bestowed upon her was a total "AHHHH" moment. Now we have a wonderful new son as a result of it all named Matthew. It was marvelous to see family and friends that we had not been with for a while. Another special coincidence; Kristen and Matt's wedding took place on September 9, 2006 exactly 35 years and 5 days after Burt's and my wedding.

Burt's folks spent their usual half year in Florida so Hercil could practice his golf game and Jean could entertain her many guests from snowland. Hercil also celebrated his 80th birthday in September with a family luncheon. My folks are enjoying the beautiful condo they share with my Sweet sister, Saint Marcie, and had their share of ups and downs with plenty of family events sprinkled in. Also there were those occasional trips to Mt Pleasant where Mama keeps Daddy in a new pair of shoes due to her luck on the machines!

The condo is known as the "Party House" due to its large living area and we all make use of it whenever we can. I think we are lucky that we can get together so often as a family and our birthday parties are legendary for the practical and silly gifts & cards we exchange. Dad of course is the chief "kid".

We lost Burt's Aunt Lil this past year and our dear friend Shirley McLennan.
Overall it was a year filled with the usual fun, drama, sadness and joy. May your holidays and coming year bring you everything you wish for and a few delightful surprises! Burt & Sheila

RESTAURANT SCENES

I am starting to believe in a conspiracy in America. Terrorists (or meat producers) are waging a conflict against the fruit and vegetable cartel. How else to explain the attacks against the innocent green entities-lettuce, spinich, onions? I have perhaps been a victim of this insidious campaign not once but twice in a week's time! First we ate at one of the local "stuff and runs"-Country Buffet. 36 hours later I am down on the ground with vertigo and the upchuckies. Word comes that the restaurant was sold the next day! I reexamined my diet that night-lettuce, soup, chicken, vegies. Aha - a link perhaps or an Al Khada plot one wonders? Then 6 days into my illness we stop at, oh no, TACO BELL. Although on the plus side, service was impeccable and there was no waiting. We regaled our friends with our wonderful culinary adventures and were met with derision and a series of OHH HOO's. No doubt they are overawed by our wild and independent spirit or perhaps our stupidity. No matter. I will do my part to not be intimidated by the possibilities of gastric attack and continue my quest to save the fast food restaurants of this great country. However, I will not fight against the elimination of trans fat, though McDonald's fries will never be the same. Not through any sense of duty or fear of frivolous lawsuits. Actually I haven't been able to physically tolerate food at some of these friendly restaurants of my youth. Now it's blackened swordfish and Kobi beef. Ahh, with affluence comes the curse of a more discriminating palate. Or at least nicer leftovers to white box their way home.

SCsENE FROM ILLNESS

I have been home all week with a vertigo/dizzyness problem. All obvious jokes aside. Quite miserable. Although it did have its moments. Who can forget my staggering through the Blue Care waiting room like Popeye on a drunken shore leave? Or the little white plastic trash bag sticking out of a pocket like a dainty hankie, actually designed to catch an unexpected "oops" if the world got a little dizzier than anticipated. Man clear the room in an instant-no waiting. May have had to resort to that if the appt time got shoved back too long. Fortunately ( for them) they took me immediately. Apparently luscious shades of green do not look good on patient's faces-they try to see them soonest and escort them out a back entry on their feet or otherwise if need be. Very clever. Yep yep, stay home-take the pill for nausea have fun, etc etc etc. And do not tell me it is related to my age. I look damn good and I dare you to guess my senior status if you can. Course that is not to say if I can get something cheaper by showing ID I would not do it. Yeah right. Have and will. But here's the thing. Why do men find you irresistably attractive regardless of a) dress; b) anger/frustration; c) bad timing; d) distraction; e) baby dribble on your shirt; f) sick and looking like hell? Mystery for all time. I am standing by the bed, swaying like a palm tree in a hurricane, drool on the corners of my mouth, eyes spinning like carousel horses at full tilt in a pair of bikini panties and fuzzy black socks and my man is overcome with lust!!! Oh well in sickness and in health-and resistance is futile, or in my case, impossible.

SCENIC EXERCISE

Love my exercise routine... as long as no one talks to me. They open early, only 30 minutes and most of the women do not look better than me. Very Important! Now if the bouncy ringmasters in the middle ring would not insist on being bright and cheery and carry on conversations I would be in heaven. I do not hate people, just people yapping in the morning (6 am) when I am busting a gut on resistance machines. That series of Ugh, Oof, Pant Pant does not really lend itself to scintillating conversation. Of course it does leave me room to peruse the room and observe the techniques of the other dedicated ladies. One I call Minnie Mouse as she rather resembles one of those lawn ornaments whose legs and feet pump furiously in the wind. She even drives a little roller skate shaped vehicle which only perpeturates the vision. Digress: I remember riding down the strip in Grand Rapids as a teenager in a classic betetle back in the day. My day anyway. One woman struggles as she works some of the machines but she is there regularly doing what she can and I admire that. You would not see a lady in that shape at the fancy fitness training facilities. There is room for these, dare I say, Mature lady gyms. Well I 'm there right?

SCENE AT THE WORKPLACE

After many years in managment I grow frustrated at the apparent ability to avoid added responsibility (oops that turned rather alliterative). You would think I would know better. It seems we have bent over so far to be sure we have consensus, team players, everybody on board that often nothing gets done. When everyone's opinion must be heard, regardless of value on everything, then argument, dissension and lobbying occurs for the most mundane issues. There is an entitlement that all have the right to belittle or reject even the most sane resolution even when it means something important may not be done. This leads to projects being bogged down, re-edited and changed for the sake of change so that every inane thought has a home in the final product. It's like trying to build a plane by committee that probably won't fly, but by gosh it certainly looks "purty". Not surprisingly, it becomes difficult to find someone willing to make a decision and move forward "damn the torpedoes". And when one is that type of person willing to make decisions and take the consequences they are considered manipulative and aggressive--- ARRRGGGHHH. What does that look like? Well to me it looks like a competent person.