RESTAURANT SCENES

I am starting to believe in a conspiracy in America. Terrorists (or meat producers) are waging a conflict against the fruit and vegetable cartel. How else to explain the attacks against the innocent green entities-lettuce, spinich, onions? I have perhaps been a victim of this insidious campaign not once but twice in a week's time! First we ate at one of the local "stuff and runs"-Country Buffet. 36 hours later I am down on the ground with vertigo and the upchuckies. Word comes that the restaurant was sold the next day! I reexamined my diet that night-lettuce, soup, chicken, vegies. Aha - a link perhaps or an Al Khada plot one wonders? Then 6 days into my illness we stop at, oh no, TACO BELL. Although on the plus side, service was impeccable and there was no waiting. We regaled our friends with our wonderful culinary adventures and were met with derision and a series of OHH HOO's. No doubt they are overawed by our wild and independent spirit or perhaps our stupidity. No matter. I will do my part to not be intimidated by the possibilities of gastric attack and continue my quest to save the fast food restaurants of this great country. However, I will not fight against the elimination of trans fat, though McDonald's fries will never be the same. Not through any sense of duty or fear of frivolous lawsuits. Actually I haven't been able to physically tolerate food at some of these friendly restaurants of my youth. Now it's blackened swordfish and Kobi beef. Ahh, with affluence comes the curse of a more discriminating palate. Or at least nicer leftovers to white box their way home.