UK TRAVEL TALES CHAPTER 5

Sorry for the break in reporting. Been working on dining room remodel and busy sorting, disposing and relocating a myriad of objects and several hours and days cleaning wallpaper glue off four walls! Now repainted awaiting the new floor installation. Fingers crossed things stay on schedule.

Ok on with the trip.  I have definitely been in big cities in the US before and even 10 days in France, however I will say to fellow travelers knowing the transportation system and options and understanding the money goes a long way.  I often had to, pardon me Blanch of "Glass Menagerie", "rely on the kindness of strangers" to get me what I needed. Although we had beautiful weather, the norm kicked in with some gloom and rain.  However it never lasted that long and when on a tour, one just throws a water-proof jacket on and keeps the agenda.  I did finally understand that "we are on an island" buffeted by the North Atlantic and the Gulf Stream - two extremes.  So the usual weather was gloomy morning, sunny daytime and cool and sometimes rainy nights.  No big deal and as I hate extreme heat, I was physically quite happy.  Though when it hit the high 70's the last couple of days, the Brits literally melt from the extreme heat.  And as stated before they don't really believe in air-conditioning, it led to some sticky nights.

Our stops this day included Durham to see the castle and Romanesque cathedral. Remember the ABCs (another bloody church/castle). A rainy day but a fun walk about town. Uphill both ways oddly enough.  There was this interesting street that was so narrow it was a literal shock when a van managed to drive up the road as pedestrians/tourists covered the entire street. Common occurrence; people give way; no rush and everyone's cool. We also had another experience with the banks there as again we were denied entrance to the inner sanctum although the lobby was staffed by professional looking people in uniform who helpfully guided me through the ATM procedure at an extreme cost to me for foreign exchange rate (expected) and foreign transaction fee (surprise). As I was promised no transaction fees if  I used the sister bank Barclay's there was a bit of sticker shock but I had no choice if I wanted my cash.  Did get those fees refunded when I got back to the States though.

As it was raining...enjoyed an indoor flea market/garage sale/mall that covered a few blocks. They are big on indoor flea market/garage sale/malls there all of which have been "in existence in that spot  for 800 years.  Anyway, I got a set of marking pens for a pound and a delicious looking lemon bar for about three.  Unfortunately the lemon bar was mostly "scone-like" with very little lemon.  They do love their flour and water concoctions over there, and they do fill you up.

We stopped at a little pub in Newcastle for lunch I believe which was called

We are in England after all.  This is where I enjoyed my "Newkie" brew in a pint size.  Really need to mind your "Ps & Qs" when drinking in the U.K. lol. Fortunately I'm not driving. Before lunch we stopped to see a bit of Hadrian's Wall which at one point girdled the narrowest part of England from the Channel to the Atlantic. As with most walls, they become ineffective as you can go over, under or around eventually (hint hint) unless they are staffed every mile or so with heavily armed soldiers. There's very little left  at least in this area as the local people needed materials for fences and pens etc.  Upon looking around they noted these finely hewed stones just sitting there for the asking, or the taking probably. So Hadrian's Wall actually shows up as the outdoor decor around most of the local farms and houses.

We continued our trip north to Scotland passing golden fields of canola flowers as far as the eye could see.  Next chapter will begin with our entry into beautiful Scotland. However as we left northern England we passed a pub that said "Last Pub in England". And of course when we turned around and looked back it proclaimed "First Pub in England" . Take your claim to fame where you can.  Love the British sense of humor.   To be continued...

TALES FROM THE U.K. CHAPTER 4

Day 4 - Leaving London

Arriving in the lobby of the hotel after another gargantuan English breakfast we observed the controlled chaos that ensues each morning of the trip. Frantically scanning the immense pile of luggage to assure your bags got picked up by the proper group and are loaded on the proper tour bus was of immediate concern. After a few days, one gets used to suitcase roulette and just assumes things get loaded and unloaded properly. (Also after a couple of days of "gargantuan" English breakfasts, I opted for yogurt and granola in the morning-there were always enough snacks during the day to cover any deficit).

Driving through London on an early Sunday morning was probably the first time to enjoy how "green" the city is. Parks and open spaces everywhere which are not that easy to see during regular working hours. The bus was new to both passengers and driver and was pristine. One could literally "eat off the floor"; a condition that the driver returned it to magically each morning. Apparently they get graded on cleanliness and such attention to detail is appreciated when you realize you are spending up to six hours a day on board moving from seat to seat.  As we are all generous souls and non-competitive types the tour guide laid out the suggested (read mandatory) "seat shift" custom. Every day you shifted back two rows. That way all of us get the "good seats" at least once or twice. Well I tend to get to things early and I like the front seat.  Fortunately the bus was large and comfortable and car sickness was not an issue. By the last day we had rotated back to the seat we set out on the first day. Cool how that works.

Hard to get used to the left side driving even after two weeks. I continued to look the wrong way at every instance. Fortunately I was not driving. Specific rules for drivers that I wish we had here in the States. No bus or truck driver can exceed 62 mph and governors are set on the vehicle to assure that. Also they are strictly limited to how long they can drive on any one day and they are required to take one day completely off in every seven. That resulted in two relief drivers, one of whom piloted the hair-raising ride around the "Ring of Kerry" in Ireland; a road encompassing many hills, death-defying curves and plunges of several 100 feet inches from our wheels. Drivers are armed with computer chip cards that are inserted before they can even start the vehicle that can be examined by police which record their complete driving history for the past two months. These rules were put into place to address the number of truck/bus/car accidents that were occurring and, big surprise, it has had a very positive impact in reducing incidents.  Contrast that with the U.S. where giant Walmart is lobbying Congress to let their transporters drive even longer hours. In the U.K. drivers are protected from fatigue-induced accidents and possible job loss by simpl following the rules.

Fun Fact. There are not "Smokey & the Bandit" situations with cops hiding behind signs and wasting a lot of time controlling speed. Drivers can actually go 80-90 as long as traffic is moving and they are not causing any issues.  Yes, it's over the speed limit, but common sense and a lot more training to get your license is the rule.  How refreshing.

Our itinerary included a stop in Stratford (Shakespeare's hometown) and the City of York. After specific instructions to be back at the time given, repeated several times, we were down one passenger after the first stop. Nothing against any one country, but it was a Canadian. Until you remember names, nationality seems to work as an identifier. Although the gentleman's wife was on board he was nowhere to be found. When asked where he was she just said something like "I don't know, he wanders".  Oh goodie. Tour guide and wife (to identify the body) set off to search.  He came wandering back about ten minutes later apparently unaware of the consternation in the chicken coops he had created.

At any rate we explored the town (and returned within the time limit) after the mandatory stop at the "toilets". First item of business after we boarded the bus, we were instructed on "relief" issues.  Yes, there is a toilet on the bus which one would have to be a contortionist to use. It's actually smaller than an airliner bathroom if you can imagine.  At any rate, we were seriously cautioned to not use it for other than an immediate emergency and only for number one. Seriously disgusting story about that I may divulge later. Also the gentlemen on board were cautioned to only apply themselves sitting down or suffer the consequences of an unexpected turn, sudden stop or turbulence. As it is the driver's job to clean the bus every night, we understood. Toilets became a very important issue as they do on any trip and our guide was extremely helpful by stopping about every two hours and explaining where the "clean" and "free" toilets were at each stop. Another thing about the U.K.-they do keep things very clean with litter, messy wastebaskets and graffiti unusual. Or the Brits themselves are very neat.

In Stratford we did get to see Shakespeare's actual childhood home. Costumed actors performed snippets of his plays at different venues as no one can actually stand and watch an entire play lol. Several statues throughout the main street suddenly and comically revealed their true nature when they started speaking or gesturing.  Each was accompanied by a receptacle to accept any appreciative tokens donated by the passer-by. We actually purchased an ice cream cone (delicious custard-like ice cream there) and a British themed Christmas ornament. As the places we visited are used to tourists, actually their economies are dependent upon them, we fumbled with our money and then just laid it out on the counter where the proprietor picked out what he needed. Oddly enough our change equaled exactly 8.99 pounds the cost of the item.

On to the city of York, an ancient walled city originally settled by the Vikings. Parts of the wall and towers are still standing. Did I say earlier that anything 1700AD or later is modern to these folks? We walked uphill (both ways) Shambles Street which is narrow, cobble stoned and packed with storefronts that still sport the old meat hooks butchers used to hang their wares for the perusal of folks passing by. Also we were regaled with stories of how "toilet" issues were handled and it was not hard to imagine the condition of the streets before indoor plumbing and sewers. Our walk ended at York Minister which claims to be England's largest medieval cathedral. It was at least a block or two long. We were told we could visit upon payment of a "donation". Donations are frequent as repairs are ongoing as evidenced by the proliferation of scaffolds we found on buildings everywhere. These are pretty old ladies they are trying to maintain obviously. We also found out the meaning of the phrase ABC used by long-suffering tourists. It translates to "Another Bleeding Church". Hmmm

Our room was small, even smaller than our first hotel, but as long as it had at least a queen-size bed and plumbing, we were good. Quite a variety of hotels on the trip and as many were built in the 1800's, one's expectations change and it's just  place to crash. As I proclaim to love history I can't really complain. We had a "getting to know you" dinner this night provided by the tour company and we sat with a couple that continued to provide a challenge to the rest of the group due to some physical issues. We also got a dose of TMI (too much info) on some situations with the couple, but hey that's part of traveling and meeting people right?

Couple of other highlights of the day. Most of the houses are made of stone and stucco and they have no parking and tend to be stacked on each other. Did not really see houses that resembled home until Ireland. The dinner offered fish soup which I declined and duck pate that I enjoyed. Our lunch stop was an expressway oasis like we have here complete with McDonalds.  Oh my gosh - saw McDonalds and KFC just everywhere! Opted for the New York Deli sandwich at another café and was surprised to find a typical salami on rye.....sprinkled with pickle slices!  Not too bad actually. Though they do seem to have a major love affair with mayo on all sandwiches which is not my first choice.  I tended to say "when in Rome" a lot which led to sampling haggis, single-malt scotch, meat pies, Guinness and mead.    To be Cont.

TRAVELS FROM THE U.K CHAPTER 3

Day 3 (or reasonable timeframe)                                                             

Another tour this morning. More of a "driving" tour of the highlights of downtown London.  Little did we know, this was the precursor to what was to become our routine for the next two weeks.  Lots of bus riding. Yes, the tour bus was not like a typical "school bus" sporti semi-comfortable individualized seats and pretty decent leg room. But the seat belts on our regular bus were so tight we probably didn't use them as much as we should until we took the hair-raising tour of the "Ring of Kerry". Irish roads leave a bit to be desired, but our tour guide just dubbed them "Tour Bus Calisthenics" and had us practice. But that is for another day.

Our regular tour bus starting on day four was brand, spanking new fresh off the assembly line. New to us and new to the driver who had a couple of hair-raising experiences with the hydraulic system not functioning as expected. In one instance, we were perched precariously on a hill, in mud, trying to mount a hill that led directly to a busy 2-lane highway. We were discussing whether we needed to get off, unload the baggage and push, but our intrepid driver got us safely up the hill and onto the road without a minimum of death and mayhem.  But I digress.

We got to know our driver and tour guide pretty well during our journeys. There was some disagreement on whether the driver was "cockney" or Scottish-they seem to sound the same. All I know is he turned me on to a beer named a Newcastle or Newkie as they are affectionately called and it was quite good.  I tended to drink quite a bit of beer on the trip. Wine was consumed (as it was free) at the optional "nights out". Though I did feel kind of silly ordering it as a newkie, the locals knew it well.  And another fun fact. You get a "pint" if you do not ask for a smaller portion.  I of course soldiered on and accepted whatever was offered in whatever quantity.  Assisted me in getting some good naps in on the bus.

At any rate, our tour guide was a bit pretentious spouting his opinion on politics and expressing his disdain of "public schools". He of course was Christ College and Cambridge educated. As he put it, "it's not what you know, it's who you know". Then he would regale us with a history lesson and at the high point of the story, he would say, "guess you will just have to buy my book to hear the end". I am not kidding. And amazingly, some people did!  If he is such an upper-crust, well-connected author, then why is he working for someone else as a tour guide? He was probably the sole "ugly Englishman" that we encountered.

He did take us to Buckingham Palace in time to witness the changing of the guard. In the U.K. soldiers in whatever conveyance (car, truck, tank, Horse) have the right of way on British streets. Cool. And yes that is a picture of me taking a video of the of the action.

Cut loose, as they call it, in the afternoon we decided to take a long walk in the other direction looking for Trafalgar Square which is surrounded by the pricier neighborhoods and stores. We walked through Eton Square - the home of both Sean Connery and Richard Moore (Moore just passed away a couple of weeks ago).  As usual, I could not pinpoint the spot I was actually looking for so we headed back towards the hotel looking for someplace to eat. Catching sight of an interesting little café/restaurant we thought we would give it a try. Little did we know we would be rejected and sent on our way!

Just a hole in the wall with very little décor and few tables. Though the smokers tend to stay outside at their own tables. Another digression - it was so odd to see so many smokers! But they stay outside so all is good and they are catered to in their areas. Did not realize how much we have demonized smoking in the "States".  Anyway, they said do you have a reservation? Huh? No décor, hole in the wall, few tables mostly empty. They graciously seated us despite no pre-arrangements. As we got our 4 pound "bottle" of water we scanned our menu.  Uh-oh - all seafood choices. Apparently this was a Sicilian themed restaurant with no other entrees available.  We asked if we could just have a drink as they had a pretty interesting wine list. HORRORS! No you must leave! Ah well, I am sure I have been thrown out of better places.

Ended up hitting a pub close to the hotel and noted the menu looked awfully familiar. Another little quirk. One often has to go up to the bar to order both food and drink. They bring it to you, usually, but wait staff is not there to take an order apparently. Well at least in the pubs. Upon scanning the familiar menu, I realized this was the same offering we had the first night at the "Bag 'O Nails" pub.  But at least they let us sit in the pub/bar area and did not condemn us to a Ladie's Parlor. Another interesting note. I don't know if gambling is legal in the UK, but I saw a lot of slot machines that seemed to accept money and pay out money. Odd, though. I never saw anyone playing them. Another story there no doubt. ToBeContinued

TRAVEL TALES FROM THE UK, CHAPTER 2

I can try to keep this in order, but sometimes days or experiences run together in a total ethnic blur, so I will try to post in the approximate order of the trip. However I will take poetic license if something occurs to me and it's a different day. I believe it's the challenges and general screw-ups that stick in your mind after an adventure which is more interesting than trying to attain any kind of continuity. That will be my disclaimer for the moment anyway.

Couple of interesting things in UK hotel rooms-no clocks, teeny-tiny wastebaskets and the electrical challenge I mentioned earlier. Also the pub we enjoyed the first evening had an old-timey portrait of a previous owner???  With the surname of Pringle. So maybe our ancestors were in the pub business.  Makes sense as their crest features a sea shell so maybe they sold seashells or seafood by the seashore? Also when our tour director asked for our surname, I had to think what the heck that meant.  Yes, I know it's your family's hereditary last name, but not exactly how we ask your name here in the States as we think we are all brand-new creatures with no past or history.  History over there is anything that's at least 500 years old.  The 1700's are merely yesterday and the buildings are still there to prove it!
View of Victoria Station from Hotel Room

Day 2 - after we discovered we were located on the back of Victoria Station, a main hub for trains and buses, we realized the disembodied voices we had been hearing through the wall were actually announcements from the station.  After the Manchester bombing, we also realized we were attached to a possible target for terrorism. Then after the latest event on London Bridge and the Borough Market another chill went down my spine as I realized that was one of the stops we made on Day 2.

Knowing through the first day experience that we were the proverbial "babes in the woods" around the big City we were grateful that our travel rep appeared early the next day to walk us to our day tour pick-up location. She was right. We would have been waving good-by to that big double decker red bus if we had attempted the journey on our own.  Oddly enough, the tour dropped us at Westminster Abbey at the end of the day rather than taking us back to the starting point and said good luck.  Had to ask a bobby how to get back...We were going to tip that guide but decided not to after the "dump and run".

As the scheduled 15 day trip did not include a Tower of London or Westminster tour and the one thing I wanted to experience, a "formal" high tea, this optional tour supplied all the missing parts. The Tower of London was incredible with ancient buildings, the crown jewels, stern-faced British soldiers (separated by a fence so couldn't get close to try and make them smile-pooh) and the inevitable shopping arcade.  No matter where you go, and I assume by plan, there is always the inevitable shopping opportunities.  I did ask when in Ireland and observing the vast distances between villages, what people did for a living.  Essentially the answer was, "cater to the tourists". Well at least the landscape is not peppered with giant smokestacks and ugly warehouses. But spoiler alert; I was not that impressed with the crown jewels. Could be the masses of people blocking any good views, but I just thought there would be more.

Another odd compulsion of the tourists milling around the grounds of the Tower is their blood-thirsty desire to know exactly "where" the unfortunate Ann Boleyn "lost her head" (pardon the pun).  They fenced in an area and say vaguely "over there" somewhere. The lady who could not deliver a male heir and actually embraced Protestantism (more so than Henry 8) was instead accused of treason to justify her execution. Oh yes, life is so much better for women now, hmmmm.

Interesting story.  As long as the Ravens remain at the Tower of London it will never be destroyed. Well to assure that, they feed them well and make sure they do not fly too far away. A local celebrity is the lady below with the pink ribbon on her foot. A true drama queen she is known to collapse as if dead to the consternation of the onlookers. Then she pops up with a crow-equivalent "ta da" .  Tres Amuse!

Cannot get close enough to harass the "Beefeater" but note that is no pea shooter he is sporting...

I was more interested in the explanation of the castle garderobes. Essentially "privies".  As castle dwellers wore a lot of furs and heavy materials, and due to the absence of really good self-serve laundromats, folks believed if they hung the dirty garments in the castle toilet whatever nasties living (or decomposing) there would miraculously clean the garments. Something like if it smells that bad, then it has to be good for something?  One can only pity the lads who's job it was to shovel out these spaces occasionally.

At lunchtime, we made a stop at Borough Market and were cut loose for an hour. Clearly marking where the bus was we ventured into what is a mixture of the biggest flea market/garage sale and food court one has ever seen. One form or another of the Borough market has been in existence at this site for 1,000 years. Now even the Brits admit that's a long time.  It's where the "regular" folk got together to barter and exchanges services away from the castle folk. We promptly got lost. However in making our first purchase, we were told our 5 pound notes were out-of-date as of last Friday and we needed to go to a bank to exchange them. Apparently this happens frequently that they change notes or coins so tourists beware. Aside: we found the easiest way to make a purchase was lay all our coins out and let the vendor pick out what they needed. Seemed to work and I think everyone was honest. Remember they cater to tourists.  Anyway, we managed to find a bank. Another interesting adventure. You don't actually get to go into the bank proper. There are ATMs everywhere on the street, but being from the States, we go inside. You are met by uniformed people who ask you your business. Then they take care of it for you or allow you to talk to a bank clerk in a tiny little window peeking out of a very imposing wall. Very interesting. Not sure how you access the inner sanctum and conduct business but apparently very few do considering the number of people accessing the outside ATMs.  At any rate we got some wonderful cheese to go with my "free" Chardonnay from the plane and dinner was set. The market was interesting, masses of people and noise, free samples of cheese, pate, fruit, drinks. And we found our way back to the bus unscathed and on time. Whew.

Westminster was beautiful in its variety of architectures. Each ruler or dynasty added their own pieces to the cathedral based upon the style of the era. Yet the intricate Gothic lacework of stone and soaring towers framing its "Rose" window dominates. The interior, only glimpsed at Royal weddings was magnificent and pictures could not do justice. Amusing fact. After a lifetime of fighting each other rivals Queen Elizabeth and Mary, Queen of Scots are entombed side-by-side for all eternity. There is a knights section and a poets and writers section and significantly on the very threshold marks a most impressive tomb. If you have ever seen someone enter Westminster, you will note that they step to one side and go around something. That something, framed in brilliant red poppies is the tomb of the British unknown soldier. Perfect.

High tea was held in a café (and gift shop) housed in one of the adjacent out-buildings at Westminster which also includes a boy's school in the complex.  I now understand why Brits don't eat dinner until late in the day. Several trays were brought along with the teapots that were mounded with sandwiches, scones and every type of sweet confection one could possibly want and/or need. Sampling each, I not only did not require much dinner, but suffered for imbibing that many sweets. One item was basically fudge on fudgey cake covered in fudge. I blame the tea though. One of the people on the tour anointed herself queen of the tea and tried to divvy up which tray or teapot belonged to which group of people at the table. We all basically ignored her, as one, who died and left her in charge, and second, there was so much we couldn't possibly finish it all so we gorged like little piglets.  Burt, being a sport, tried tea. First he tried it straight - no. Next sugar-nope. Finally sugar and cream-definitely not. I however, did not have that problem the first time I tried Guinness. A tale for another day.

Dinner consisted of the previous mentioned cheese, crackers and wine. Plus I was nursing a tummy ache from the sugar explosion at tea.  ToBeContinued

TRAVEL TALES FROM THE UK

I was unable to post via computer on my trip, but did try to keep notes as we bounced along in the "coach", as the Brits call buses. The Burt-man and I planned a Great Britain/Ireland trip about 8 months ago which finally occurred May 10 to May 27. I say finally occurred as it was paid for about six months ago.  Between world terrorism events, disastrous election results and universal hacking It was questionable whether the trip would ever come to fruition. But soundly back in the US, I can try to recap the madcap.

Of course the final "cheeky monkey" moment occurred as we arrived at the Heathrow for our return trip. The airport is massive, duty free shops including Cartier, Gucci, Harrods, Hermes, Chanel, etc. line the terminals. It was also massively filled with passengers who were now without a flight due to a universal hacking of British airlines. Fortunately we were on Delta/KLM.  Controlled chaos punctuated with frustrated travelers and sulky children who were frantically trying to book alternate flights or hotels. We clutched our tickets tightly and formed a protective buffer to assure our escape.

But I ask you, who is buying expensive jewelry, handbags, clothing at the airport shopping center? Really, "I just had to pick up these diamond earrings-they go so well with my tee shirt and flip flops." Weird.  Also odd, is the lack of restrooms and eating areas besides the inevitable Nero Coffee shop and "artisan" sandwiches in a couple of locations.  Never did get the point of the artisan sandwiches. Also there seems to be a British fascination with mayonnaise with occurs with every sandwich without asking - right up there with "rocket" the spicy greens they put on cooked pizzas and brown sauce, lots of brown sauce which as far as I can tell is basically gravy. And this was rather odd. The first time I asked for an "iced tea" I was greeted with a blank stare. This is a country who loves its tea and has a tea/coffee shop every 100 feet or so.  Just add ice.  Oh well, I enjoyed my hot teas and coffee though they in turn thought me odd when I always refused the inevitable little pot of cream that is standard with your tea order. 

DAY ONE - of the UK adventure began with me totally nailing my to do list including four loads of laundry (a task I repeated upon return). Sheets on beds changed. Kristen and Joseph took us to the airport and when Joe heard we were going on a plane on vacation, he said he wanted to go on vacation too. He settled on a string of cherry licorice from the airport snack bar instead.

It was a little awkward connecting with the senior flight attendant (or purser) who needed to meet and greet each and every First and Business class passenger. They of the fluffy, comforters, reclining seats and hot and cold running attention. Jealously watched by those of us in steerage who made do with mystery filled pillows and a handy bulkhead to lean against. We alternated between slouching, twisting and the floor to get a few winks as we flew overnight.  Though like a hospital interruptions are frequent. Lights out at 10:30 pm followed by a water bottle and hot towel about 1/2 hour later; then a full lights on to enjoy a full course lasagna dinner at 11:30 pm.  Then peanuts thrust at us about 2 a.m. followed by breakfast at 5:30 am or so.  All of which was delicious if not conducive to any sleep on the flight. First class passengers of course had their meals chewed and digested by staff so as not to disturb their comfortable sleep.   But I digress.

When the purser finished her good will tour of 1st class she "popped" by my seat. I greeted her with a 2 lb. bag of M&Ms that I said was a reward for her difficult role she could keep for herself or share. Within minutes I was overwhelmed with grateful thanks punctuated by M&M candy smiles from the rest of the staff. One charming steward with a British accent thanked me for "the lovely chocolates". (Yep straight guys do say lovely over there). I felt good, they felt good. Everybody on board received a mellow trip. However, like the tooth fairy who works her magic under cover of darkness, the purser slipped a full bottle of Chardonnay (from 1st class) into my sleepy lap in quiet thanks.

The happy feeling lasted through the, oh approximately 1/2 mile walk to Customs. Welcome to the UK along with roughly 500 other arrivals in a stifling hall (as the trip progressed I learned that the UK is not big on air conditioning or screens on windows actually) filled with Disney-like rope channels designed to make you feel you're progressing when really you're just rotating in massive circles back and forth, back and forth. You eventually recognized your "line buddies" as you made your way around each turn. I resorted to dragging our strangely heavier (remember the bottle of wine I was now carrying) bag by its strap.

However there was not major noise, bickering, loud voices. The saving grace for British customs is we all just survived a multi-hour plane trip at night sitting bolt upright in teeny, tiny airplane seats No one had any fight left in them. Even small children followed zombie like with no happy attraction at the end of the endless line.

When it was our turn, I felt strangely guilty of what I don't know. Such is the solemnity of customs officials who determine whether you just popped a fortune and a plane ride from hell to be told "nope can't come in".  Course I was sweating the bottle of wine. (Reverse that feeling coming back through US Customs) Nope, our officer's major concern was whether we were returning to the States at the end of our trip. Yes Ma'am. She seemed oddly relieved as did we.

Another 1/2 mile to the round robin of men and women holding signs hoping to see my name as one of the privileged who "had a driver waiting". Nope, no such luck, no desk or office marking the name of our travel group as promised -poop. After asking three people I was finally directed to the Information desk marked strangely enough with a BIG I, duhhh. He directed us back to the driver circle in a particular location. Yes, there was the dude - 3rd row back with OUR NAME ON A SIGN! Cool. even if it was third tier.

After a breakneck ride through much of downtown London, we finally arrived at our hotel. Now I have seen some crowded down towns and on-street parking situations but this driver's skills were either professional level or foolhardy. Since no one died, I pick number one. He knew to the inch how much room he needed and I was forced to squeeze in my seat to be sure he made the turns and missed the hordes of motorcycles and bikes who dodge in and out of traffic including giant double deck buses at every corner. Couple that with the fact that they drive on the opposite side of the road I kept looking the wrong way. I kept braking sympathetically and turning throughout the 30 minute ride only I went the wrong way every single time.

It was quite amusing, based on the number of dead end streets, one way streets, round-abouts and curving roads that each intersection is marked LOOK RIGHT or LOOK LEFT. It was dizzying, but like any confident city dweller, they just roll with it. After a little confusion we just waited and crossed when the herd did - always looking the wrong way of course.

Exhausted and reaching our room we got a call from our travel group rep saying come on down, I'm only here until 3:30.  It was 2:30 groannnn. We hit the "facilities" and headed back down. Her advice was keep moving until 8 or 9 o'clock if you can. We did and promptly got lost going outside and around the block. Apparently they are not real fond of the "grid" system and straight streets. But we did see the walls of Buckingham Palace before losing my bearings. However we discovered the grandeur of Victoria train station before stumbling on the back door of our hotel which, how humorous is connected to the train station. Another fun fact, could not figure out how to turn on the lights. I think there was some instruction at check-in, but brain atrophy had set in at that point. Finally understood that you plug your room key into a slot to get any electricity. Great energy saver especially when the "foreigners" don't figure it out. Quite a clever idea actually.

Through the lobby and back out to the street to try this again and score some grub. The first stop was a place called Meat- appetizing. However after being seated we decided the "smell of Meat" was not anything appetizing and bolted. Next stop a pub where you either drink downstairs or go upstairs for food which comes up from downstairs on a dumb waiter.  Burt's lst fish and chips and my first meat pie. The upstairs by the way was labeled the "Ladie's Parlor". I guess that leaves the downstairs to the dedicated drinking and carousing.  We ordered what sounded like an interesting foreign beer only to read "American Pale Ale" on the label, oh well. Back to the room about 6:30 where we both promptly fell asleep waking at 8 to unpack. First tour tomorrow at 8. Tower of London here I come.  To be Continued

NOW WHAT?

Not sure which way to look as the drama continues.  This week, we could grind to a halt if a budget extension is not voted upon. All it needs is for  the legislature to cut off old and poor people from health care, allocate 1.4 billion to build a ridiculous and useless wall and pass tax reform (which apparently would only benefit the ultra rich and large businesses). We all know how well
"trickle down" economics works.  Not too large a buffet for the ultra-efficient Congress to put into place.  And leading the parade to third world status is chief red-headed clown DT.  Amazing first 100 days. 

Overshadowing that is the American "armada" steaming towards a confrontation with Korea. What year are we 1588?  That didn't work out so well for the Spanish. It appears that our clown-in-chief is acting like a small boy playing with his toy soldiers or enjoying a game of Stratego. This is not a game. These are not plastic figures and whoever has the most wins. These are the lives of young American men and women you are risking or, in your mind, mere chess pieces in your infantile quest to be the biggest bully on the block.

 When China has to chastise the United States of America not to be "reckless" that shows you how low our credibility and standards have shrunk.  What happened to the America that took care of the persecuted and the weak? When one is in a position of power, that is when you are expected to show mercy and restraint; to set an example of how civilization is supposed to look. When you have the ability to destroy at the flick of a button and are also able to easily defend yourself, you are the one that must show the most character even if the smaller, pathetic bully throws taunts your way. Words and pathetic attempts at warfare from a weaker opponent do not constitute any response other than a proverbial shake of the head at the foolishness and an assurance of support to our more vulnerable allies.

Again the uneducated buffoon at the helm is responding to the sad sword-rattling of a weaker nation that has already been condemned by all as he apparently does not understand if the US gets involved it becomes escalated to an unthinkable level. Those who do not read and understand history are doomed to disaster and the sad reality is that we are strong enough to withstand these challenges.

Hey according to DT, Korea was once a part of China so they probably want it back.  What a Boz...I don't think there is an emoji that covers what I'm feeling.  🙅

IT'S SPRING

We have a friendly contest in my family each year to herald Spring. Whoever spots the first legitimate robin and posts a picture of said robin gets bragging rights for the year.  Cannot be on the wing or too fuzzy to guess what it is. Since the accusation of fake robins on the wing one year, the rules have tightened somewhat. However I understand this year's winner tempted life and limb in a bank drive thru to obtain the prize winning picture so we're giving it to her.

I have changed the wreath on my front door as my grudging admission that yes, we have broken the back of winter's wrath.  That is not to say we won't have 8 inches of snow the first week of April, but as a seasoned Michigander, I know that is merely a last teaser from Mother Nature.  Yes, Ma'am we know you are in charge, but really this is it right? This winter was rather coy with days and weeks of warm weather and very few snowstorms. 

We did experience some rather dicey icy days that gave the school kids their days off.  I swear, sounding like an old person, we did not have that many days off when I was a schooler in Grand Rapids because we knew IT WAS WINTER and you get bad weather.  I think it is the proliferation of more buses, facebook and twitter that has galvanized parents to complain and threaten school officials if their little precious has to get their little "feets" wet or wear a winter coat.  Currently most teens wear flip flops and no coats through the winter so I see the parents' point. Though I still don't know why I pay so much for buses when literally 100s of parents drop and pick up their kids rather than subject them to the bus.

However I really believe in Spring when I see the chipmunk emerge from under the deck, or wherever he hides out during the winter and watch the squirrels cavorting across the yard and up and down the trees in wild pursuit.  I assume the squirrels are couples or they could be chasing some new tail, so to speak.  Hard to tell as with most species other than my own they all look alike to me. Much chatter occurs when the chasee believes the chaser is not committed to the game. Much like taunting or trash talking at a sporting event. I never see the finale or consummation of that mad dash around the yard, but I assume it is fruitful as new smaller squirrels emerge at a later date. 

I have to believe if they think it's time to bring new life into the world and chances of survival are good, then all is well.