Isn't it interesting how life plays itself out? We were the "kids" until our parents pass and we come to the reality that WE are now the "parents, matriarchs, patriarchs"; we are now in charge of the traditions and routines that constitute family. We no longer have that parachute of others' past experiences to rely upon as we move forward. Perhaps we remember how things were done just a little differently than they were, thus moving and changing and creating the next delicious layer of our history. We still say my Mother always said or my Father always did but they are not there to correct or undermine our perfect 20-20 hindsight. But we still feel the way we did when we were 16 or 22 or 35. We can't be in charge - I'm not ready. But we are.
In our 20's it is weddings we attend as we watch friends and family eagerly approach the first exciting threshold of adult life. I look back at my 19 year old self and realize how young I was and naïve, but fortunately I didn't know it at the time so no harm done. Well none lasting I assume. I always have the philosophy, Ok you've never done this before so just forge ahead like you know what you're doing and get through whatever it is. People rarely call you on it if you are bold and confident plus it stiffens your spine and makes you look like you've got this. Though they would not admit it, in my experience most just want someone to make the decisions and direct actions. However they will also consider you bossy and aggressive. So be it.
In our late 20's and 30's it's about babies and careers. Both coming at once and both demanding your attention 24/7. Fortunately you're strong at that age and as long as you don't know trying to balance all the tasks required is quite impossible it works.
40's and 50's are all about friends and family graduations and their children starting to marry. It's a time where some compare where they are with others usually to their disappointment. It's a time when you start looking to your future security, either cursing your lack of preparation or continuing to lay your golden pots in line to sustain a comfortable retirement. It should also be a time of great influence and respect. You have paid your dues; you understand how the system works; your political opinions are active, and noisy. You can argue most positions and have enough experience to understand things are not always the black and white you believed when you were young and tender. Unfortunately some folks never get past that stage regardless of age and experience which is sad but also may explain the inflexibility and prejudice displayed by those who should know better.
The 60's are the years when often when our parents start to falter and fail and we fear for their continued existence coupled with the incredible joy of grandchildren starting to arrive. We buffer our worries from our children so that they can enjoy this exciting and busy time in their lives filled with children and careers as we know the energy that takes. It is also a time when we have much to teach but are often ignored as being too old to actually understand the reality of now. One can only chuckle and realize we were guilty of the same when we were younger. We bury our parents and lament, "I'm not ready", "I am still your child", "I still need your loving acceptance and advice" "How can I be the advisor for myself and others without your support"?
But the beauty of the system is that we are ready and, as always has been since the beginning, we will carry our own until they are ready as well.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Sunday, April 3, 2016
BIRD WATCHING
Rant for the day. Changed my routine a couple of years ago to work out in the wee hours of the morning. Downside - getting up at 3 am to torture my body. Upside - control of television, lights and machines. Not having to interact with any crazies -priceless. However my peace has been shattered a few times recently by a couple of happy ladies I have christened the magpies. They find each other with heartfelt squeals of delight and then proceed to spend the next hour chatting and chatting and chatting ad nauseam. Ladies! It's 3:30 am in the 'effing morning.
I can't stand earplugs in my very sensitive waxy ears so I am subjected to this interplay which ranges from what a good person they are to a very thorough dissection of many people they know by name. Ok now I'm being judgmental and fortunately I don't know the people they are discussing. But the point being, go have a private cup of coffee somewhere. Someone might actually be trying to concentrate to overcome the knives driven through their knees with every step. Don't need my ears bleeding as well. End of Rant. I feel better now.
MS MEGYN K LEANING RIGHT?
Listened to an interview with Fox News Megyn Kelly this morning. Though not a supporter of her point of view on some issues; still she is intelligent, witty and very savvy about the world and politics. I guess I might be slightly offended by her comment that she pictures her audience as women at the end of a hard day of child raising or work or both, sitting back with a glass of chardonnay wanting to digest the day's news without a "whole lot thinking about it" (my interpretation of what she said). I object to the glass of Chardonnay rather than Merlot as being so "feminine" but that's just me. Oh yeah, the no thinking part was a little off-putting but then all newscasts attempt to do that, so strictly speaking not exactly a flaw.
I do appreciate that she stood up to Donald Trump and has not lowered herself to his level of insults. He has proven himself a coward where she has shown class and grit in ignoring his opinions on women in general which should offend all. In fact, she said she would welcome him on her show with or without an apology. In that, I totally relate. There have been many times in my career where the level of insensitivity and personal offense needed to be ignored so that I could do my job and move forward.
However when asked whether she believed Fox news has a conservative bias, she disagreed with Charlie Rose of all people. Though she did say she would love to be on a show with herself, Charlie and Oprah. Now that would be worth watching! So again she is open to other opinions while being able to support of her own which I admire. She also stated that most news had a left leaning bias Well of course Ms Megyn and I thank our wonderful 1st amendment for allowing that to occur. The establishment (read that as the rich and powerful) would rather all us plebes embrace what they say so as not to, dare we say, rebel against the establishment thus rocking the throne on which they sit. Establishment means "conservative". Any ideas outside of that conservatism has been punished throughout history from burning non-believers at the stake, labeling scientists as heretics and allowing fascist and dictator regimes to exist in the modern world.
Any ideas presented outside of the conservative view are considered dangerous and radical as the "people" may get ideas that they are as good as the privileged few and worthy of respect and a decent life. Of course all is not perfect on the left, but thinking people need to hear many opinions and be exposed to all pertinent information that may have bearing on a situation or idea. So thank you "other than Fox News" and "CNBC" for being left leaning. When we attempt to muzzle communication that does not follow the conservative party line, just because it is different, we assist in forging the very chains that lead us into another dark age of ignorance.
I do appreciate that she stood up to Donald Trump and has not lowered herself to his level of insults. He has proven himself a coward where she has shown class and grit in ignoring his opinions on women in general which should offend all. In fact, she said she would welcome him on her show with or without an apology. In that, I totally relate. There have been many times in my career where the level of insensitivity and personal offense needed to be ignored so that I could do my job and move forward.
However when asked whether she believed Fox news has a conservative bias, she disagreed with Charlie Rose of all people. Though she did say she would love to be on a show with herself, Charlie and Oprah. Now that would be worth watching! So again she is open to other opinions while being able to support of her own which I admire. She also stated that most news had a left leaning bias Well of course Ms Megyn and I thank our wonderful 1st amendment for allowing that to occur. The establishment (read that as the rich and powerful) would rather all us plebes embrace what they say so as not to, dare we say, rebel against the establishment thus rocking the throne on which they sit. Establishment means "conservative". Any ideas outside of that conservatism has been punished throughout history from burning non-believers at the stake, labeling scientists as heretics and allowing fascist and dictator regimes to exist in the modern world.
Any ideas presented outside of the conservative view are considered dangerous and radical as the "people" may get ideas that they are as good as the privileged few and worthy of respect and a decent life. Of course all is not perfect on the left, but thinking people need to hear many opinions and be exposed to all pertinent information that may have bearing on a situation or idea. So thank you "other than Fox News" and "CNBC" for being left leaning. When we attempt to muzzle communication that does not follow the conservative party line, just because it is different, we assist in forging the very chains that lead us into another dark age of ignorance.
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
LIP SERVICE
Every time I've gone outside the last few weeks the words filter into my mind "Michigan girls do not lick their lips in the wintertime". This usually occurs after I have licked my lips of course. I do believe I would think first before sticking my tongue on a metal object, and as I am usually in the car when I have the thought I think I am safe from a major ice-driven incident. It is strictly a wintertime issue and I have never been a fan of lipstick or chap stick. All I can think of when I have those items on is "there is something on my lips and I can't move them!". I become stiff-lipped so to speak; and no doubt quieter. Win-win.
Friday, April 10, 2015
THINGS MY MAMA TAUGHT ME
An observation while folding clean clothes out of the dryer made me realize we honor and remember our loved ones in all kinds of ways. Which put a smile on my face. I thought about this as I carefully lined up the toes of the socks and smoothed them to the heel and then stretched them at the top so the two socks fit together neatly matching in size. Then I folded my towels the long way folding a third to the middle and then folded them over. It made me think of my Mother and the many times I watched her folding clothes this way without it really registering.
Not that I iron that much - horrors! Thank goodness for permanent press and learning to remove things from the dryer when they are still damp. However on the infrequent times I do iron a shirt I still follow the same pattern: front side of collar, back yoke, front sides, the rest of the back, sleeves and finally the collar again. I don't know if Mom did it that way for a reason, but for me I know which parts I've ironed which is sometimes difficult to tell because of the whole permanent press thing mentioned earlier.
Oh and of course all those "Momisms" that come out of my mouth and I wonder where the heck did that come from? Though I admit with some people and in some instances I will say my Mother always said (even if it's my own personal observation) to gain instant credibility due to respect for those who came before.
So if you subscribe to the theory that our departed loved ones are with us when we think of them, then Mom sorry it's usually housework. Though when I squeeze my little grandson and make him giggle, I know Mom's right there showing me how to love.
Not that I iron that much - horrors! Thank goodness for permanent press and learning to remove things from the dryer when they are still damp. However on the infrequent times I do iron a shirt I still follow the same pattern: front side of collar, back yoke, front sides, the rest of the back, sleeves and finally the collar again. I don't know if Mom did it that way for a reason, but for me I know which parts I've ironed which is sometimes difficult to tell because of the whole permanent press thing mentioned earlier.
Oh and of course all those "Momisms" that come out of my mouth and I wonder where the heck did that come from? Though I admit with some people and in some instances I will say my Mother always said (even if it's my own personal observation) to gain instant credibility due to respect for those who came before.
So if you subscribe to the theory that our departed loved ones are with us when we think of them, then Mom sorry it's usually housework. Though when I squeeze my little grandson and make him giggle, I know Mom's right there showing me how to love.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
RAINBOWS ON MY MICROWAVE
I call this season "Sprinter". Not quite winter and not quite all the way into Spring, regardless of what the calendar says and all that equinox business. You know it's Sprinter from the following observations:
1) Robins fighting/mating or just P.O.'d over the fact that they followed the calendar instead of the temperature and are fighting over the few worms (no doubt lethargic from their long winter's nap) that have managed to drag their squishy heads above the suddenly saturated underground.
2) Snowsnorts - the leftover pieces of incredibly black snow that cling precariously to the sides of driveways, large rocks and extremely shady places. They are the sole survivors from the aggressive tactics of the "snow removers" who attack after each and every snowfall with plows, shovels and copious scatterings of rock salt. It is a semi-cannibalistic survival however, as the final snowsnorts rely on the weight and coverage of their unfortunate brethren who arrived last only to provide a haven and insulation to those who landed earlier. They totally suck the frigid aspects of those come-latelys as long as possible until an onslaught of above freezing days pulls the last bit of ice from their frigid veins.
3) The arrival of shorts on, mostly adolescent Michiganders, when the first sprinter day above freezing raises it's promising head. There is something apparently shameful about actually wearing clothing and outer garments designed to keep their wearer warm one MINUTE after the temp goes into the 30's. These creatures can also be seen into December still sporting minimal clothing and also apparently owning no coats. Though I do find it amusing on those really cold mornings, say 20 below, their Mommies and Daddies wait at the bus stop with them ensconced in a nice warm car until the bus show up. They then spring forth absolutely dressed for summer which of course shows their macho toughness as they face the weather for a record 10.3 seconds to the bus and into the school.
4) Lines at the car wash suddenly materialize followed by the amusing and futile drive home trying to avoid the inevitable Sprinter puddles (and left-over snowsnorts) in the road.
5) The absolute shock when, of course, the lingering fingers of winter drop six inches on the newly warmed grass and pavement on April 10. The cursing that ensues generally helps melt the snow in record time and we and Mother Nature all have a good laugh about it.
However, you know the back of winter has been broken, Sprinter truly ends and authentic Spring begins when one day you see a fuzzy, greenish haze settling over the trees. It is so fragile and you convince yourself it is an illusion. But as the weeks progress the haze turns into beautiful, strong green leaves heralding true Spring.
Finally before it exits"Sprinter" also shows me a vision that only occurs at this time of year when the trees are still wearing their bare winter limbs yet the sun shines brightly all day. The rainbow catcher that my Mother gave me many years ago catches the light and transforms my kitchen into a kaleidoscope of colors that dance across my kitchen. And she would have loved watching my grandson giggle as he darts around the room trying to catch the rainbows on my microwave....
1) Robins fighting/mating or just P.O.'d over the fact that they followed the calendar instead of the temperature and are fighting over the few worms (no doubt lethargic from their long winter's nap) that have managed to drag their squishy heads above the suddenly saturated underground.
2) Snowsnorts - the leftover pieces of incredibly black snow that cling precariously to the sides of driveways, large rocks and extremely shady places. They are the sole survivors from the aggressive tactics of the "snow removers" who attack after each and every snowfall with plows, shovels and copious scatterings of rock salt. It is a semi-cannibalistic survival however, as the final snowsnorts rely on the weight and coverage of their unfortunate brethren who arrived last only to provide a haven and insulation to those who landed earlier. They totally suck the frigid aspects of those come-latelys as long as possible until an onslaught of above freezing days pulls the last bit of ice from their frigid veins.
3) The arrival of shorts on, mostly adolescent Michiganders, when the first sprinter day above freezing raises it's promising head. There is something apparently shameful about actually wearing clothing and outer garments designed to keep their wearer warm one MINUTE after the temp goes into the 30's. These creatures can also be seen into December still sporting minimal clothing and also apparently owning no coats. Though I do find it amusing on those really cold mornings, say 20 below, their Mommies and Daddies wait at the bus stop with them ensconced in a nice warm car until the bus show up. They then spring forth absolutely dressed for summer which of course shows their macho toughness as they face the weather for a record 10.3 seconds to the bus and into the school.
4) Lines at the car wash suddenly materialize followed by the amusing and futile drive home trying to avoid the inevitable Sprinter puddles (and left-over snowsnorts) in the road.
5) The absolute shock when, of course, the lingering fingers of winter drop six inches on the newly warmed grass and pavement on April 10. The cursing that ensues generally helps melt the snow in record time and we and Mother Nature all have a good laugh about it.
However, you know the back of winter has been broken, Sprinter truly ends and authentic Spring begins when one day you see a fuzzy, greenish haze settling over the trees. It is so fragile and you convince yourself it is an illusion. But as the weeks progress the haze turns into beautiful, strong green leaves heralding true Spring.
Finally before it exits"Sprinter" also shows me a vision that only occurs at this time of year when the trees are still wearing their bare winter limbs yet the sun shines brightly all day. The rainbow catcher that my Mother gave me many years ago catches the light and transforms my kitchen into a kaleidoscope of colors that dance across my kitchen. And she would have loved watching my grandson giggle as he darts around the room trying to catch the rainbows on my microwave....
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Driving While Black
As I watch the US explode over race issues and the stupidity and prejudice of some people overwhelming the media, I am reminded of a story from a former supervisor.She is a black woman - highly educated, professionally regarded and a high-ranking manager. We are both friends and colleagues and no topic is off-limits with us from grandchildren to Afghanistan to race relations. But this is her story and I ask only that you reflect on the simplicity of it and the implications it holds for our nation. There is a difference in treatment and it impacts all of us. Don't think it just happens over there - wherever "there" is.
She was chuckling about trying to get car repairs done when working 50 hour weeks, coordinating church and youth activities with her husband and learning how to be a new grandmother and help to her daughter and son-in-law. She had to actually schedule an appointment to get her headlight lamp fixed as her free time is limited. Before that could occur, however, she was driving down a main highway on her way home from work - in full daylight. She was thoughtfully stopped by a police officer, who noticed her front headlight was out, even though lights were not called for in daylight. He approached her on the "passenger" side of the car motioning her to roll down her window with his right hand on his holster. Really? She was professionally dressed, fully cooperative and hardly a threat to the police officer. A simple story with no lasting repercussions, no fine, no jail, except to her sense of self and safety.
You have to ask yourself - is this how a police officer ever approached you on a simple traffic stop?
She was chuckling about trying to get car repairs done when working 50 hour weeks, coordinating church and youth activities with her husband and learning how to be a new grandmother and help to her daughter and son-in-law. She had to actually schedule an appointment to get her headlight lamp fixed as her free time is limited. Before that could occur, however, she was driving down a main highway on her way home from work - in full daylight. She was thoughtfully stopped by a police officer, who noticed her front headlight was out, even though lights were not called for in daylight. He approached her on the "passenger" side of the car motioning her to roll down her window with his right hand on his holster. Really? She was professionally dressed, fully cooperative and hardly a threat to the police officer. A simple story with no lasting repercussions, no fine, no jail, except to her sense of self and safety.
You have to ask yourself - is this how a police officer ever approached you on a simple traffic stop?
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