WHO'S IN THE KITCHEN & WILL WE SURVIVE?

What is it about holidays that brings out the "best of times and the worst of times".  Great to see family and enjoy a great meal and fun activities.  Followed by the often inevitable attack of the bugs. Winter in close quarters allows people to mingle and share all the germy little creatures that we are blessed with.  As with all traditions, we share more than just fellowship and food.  Garden and patio parties are much healthier as we can cough, sneeze and spit into the healthy outdoors. Just as the buggies seek warmer places to snuggle during the winter so do people. Close quarters allow things to grow and fester.  Ewww.  And little people are great transporters. They're kind of like two sided tape by both carrying and catching whatever is nearby.

I am usually the first casualty which if it gets bad enough I get over my guilt at skipping my "intense" exercise routine.  Then Burt falls victim - though he blames me.  A couple of days of drugs and I'm good. However,,,,, his becomes entrenched in his chest leading to extreme bouts of coughing, gagging, blowing... well you get the picture.  At any rate even I cannot expect him to continue the cooking chores - for my own protection - and really he is pretty sick. 

Ok - I can cook, I think but I'm not big on planning.  Consequently I have become the Queen of casseroles. Several cookbooks are consulted and then I decide if I have the necessary ingredients on hand. Of course not, so I improvise.  Chicken stock instead of chicken broth is probably the mildest infraction.  Ok and pie crust instead of crescent rolls for the lattice top - it's the same thing right? Some of my other substitutions could be lethal but in small doses are ok. Or leaving stuff out of the recipe shouldn't make that much of a difference right?  Then when I presented my latest presentation he confesses he can't taste anything anyway.  Hmmm. To test this theory I made a Mexican style meatloaf loaded with salsa, picante and a whole can of green chiles.  Couldn't taste a thing but he did compliment me on the nice firmness of the loaf (his meatloaf usually) falls apart. Of course he doesn't know I was using the meat thermometer on Celsius which read 98 degrees and I needed 160 Fahrenheit so technically the meat was over 200 degrees.  Damn straight it held together.  Actually I don't think it tasted too bad.

At any rate, I hope he gets better soon.
. 

THANKSGIVING MEMORIES

Thanksgiving was a little different this year as we did not make our usual madcap dash to the northern reaches of Michigan on Thanksgiving morning. We had this annual trek down and usually traveled up Thursday morning in plenty of time to make the annual food fest. My two issues in winter - bad roads and darkness. Watching the weather reports dictates a Wednesday night departure or Thursday am.  Light wins. Often we would return the following day as our Saturday bowling league rarely enjoyed a holiday respite.

There were some harrowing trips Wednesday evening, Thursday or Friday mornings as the weather in late November in Michigan is nothing short of unpredictable.  Nothing says family time than facing blowing snow directly in your face for four hours as you count on the tiny reflectors on the side of the road to keep you centered. Or the exciting trip after an ice storm where you swore the tires were coming off the car as we hit ridge after ridge of ice at a speed not conducive to rough roads. I still credit my death grip on the armrest that brought us safely through the storms. That and not letting our little buddy get nervous in the backseat that we were inches from death. Eventually the older generation started spending the winters in warmer climes and were anxious to hit the road before the really nasty weather struck. Hence Thanksgiving became our Christmas with the northern contingency.

We round robined at first with each family hosting at a restaurant offering a Thanksgiving buffet in their respective towns until it became difficult for some to travel. The last several years were in Rogers City, a town not known for its plethora of restaurant offerings. Thus it was possible to drive for four hours north and then another hour and a half to get to an open restaurant. Which to country folks is the norm actually. Things started to change as the youngest generation started to grow up and trips often included extra guests which turned into family or other commitments. The final couple of years included the first little great grandchild to add to the joy and Christmas gifts that we got to play with!

This year was different for a sad and difficult reason. The last Grandma passed away the previous November so that generation is officially gone. It's time to start new traditions and be open to different realities.  We enjoyed our meal with our own little family - daughter, son-in-law and grandson at our house, using the dining room actually. We tend to be kitchen counter, small kitchen table people. The dining room allows me to use real china and all my fancy little serving pieces. Of course, someone always dumps a glass of water, etc. This year it was me.  Little Joe keeps us focused on the here and now and grateful for family no matter who is at the dinner table. New customs and growth are inevitable. Traditions change, laughter doesn't stop, life goes on, and that's how it should be.

FURTHER LEAFING/CHAPTER 2

Day Two began with a leisurely breakfast in the hotel (because there was a discount & I have no shame) before a conference call at 9. The early birds were already gone or not yet available. We were directed to a 4-person table this time so our odds of catering another party were lowered somewhat. I guess the Sault is just into giving people lots of room at their table, not at all bad. The window view of the park and river below through the morning fog was quite pleasant though I found myself more fascinated by a crew of two who were wet mopping, not kidding, the floor to ceiling windows with a long telescoping sloppy mop right over the tables on the other side of the room. A hostess came along and was horrified they were cleaning windows right over the breakfast diners and quickly sent them packing.

Apologizing to us she said "I don't know what they were thinking washing windows over people's tables." To which I replied, "well it wasn't our table and I'm just happy to see two young people so hard at work." Made my day - nudge, nudge wink, wink. Now we both know they probably perform this task when people aren't in the dining room which may possibly be how the tables get washed with residual mop splatter.  Win-win!

Proceeded to my conference call in a room so small I think I hit my head on the ceiling when I walked around the bed. Anyway the desk chair was too short for the desk so I put the phone on speaker and just curled up and wrote with the pad snugged up against my knees. A position they frown upon in a real office so cool.

Back on the road on another non-typical warm UP day and headed to the Mac Bridge. Only boats to be seen were the air boat island hoppers to the Island. I stated that I had never stopped at the fort so we detoured under the bridge to the fort entrance. At a price of $11 apiece with no "senior" discount I contemplated how bad I really wanted to see the attraction.  I mean if you've seen one wooded palisade is another one that much different?  The docent was quite adamant that this was a fort among forts and a treat not to be missed, not to mention the scheduled firing of the muskets at 2:00.  Well not wanting to miss possible gunfire and mayhem I bought in. First stop was a history video which proceeded to tell me "well this isn't the original fort, and it's not really a fort at all but a place to exchange furs for trinkets and the walls were to keep undesirables out"- like coyotes and native Americans apparently.  The original structure was torn down to use the wood elsewhere (side note- there is a ton of wood in Northern Michigan so I guess the appeal is it's already cut and ready) and the original buildings were found buried in the sand. Huh.  Possibly if I had seen the video before paying the fee I might have passed.

Anyway to get my steps in for the day, I toured. There were people dressed in vintage palisade wear who I enjoyed tormenting by asking them questions about how they manage life in the 1700's with a cell phone sticking out of their homespun.  There was a mix of real people and mannequins which led to a hilarious moment when I commented on the odd sight of a mannequin who was bent over in the camp garden pulling weeds. Imagine my surprise and chagrin when the mannequin moved and turned out to be a live young woman. Ahem.  The gun show was interesting with two British soldiers sporting long guns appropriate for the times. One gave a fascinating lecture on the bayonet which did more to disrupt the American revolutionaries in a fight than the firing of the musket, which they claimed they could load and shoot 3 times in a minute.  However the thought of being pronged by two foot long sharp steelie things on the end of the musket bothered the Americans more than the possibility of being hit with a musket ball.  I agree. Another hilarious side note, as stated earlier the main audience for these midweek attractions are Baby Boomers who kept yelling for the soldier to "SPEAK UP"  LOL.

On to Traverse City another beautiful area on the water. Land of boats, white sands, blue water and a billion wineries (well give or take a few million).  All and all a pleasant place to linger. Sitting on the 45th parallel puts TC in line with the fabulous wine lands of France and Germany. They have the Gulf Stream, we have Lake Michigan-check and mate.  Asking my sis-in-law for dinner ideas we settled on a new Italian eatery located in, wait for it, a former mental hospital.  Well the grounds and buildings are quite spectacular, fitting for the area so maybe only the choicest mentally challenged called them home.  Perfect.

Dressed in a Tee Shirt that advertised my affinity for red wine and jeans we were asked if we had a reservation. First clue.  No, but they were able to accommodate us. We then commenced a long, long, long walk to the very last little room which was about a 10 by 10 furnished with two four-person tables, a tiny inaccessible window and stone walls.  ahhh, we are pretty much trapped back in what had to be a former patient room.  However, we did pass a fabulous wine cellar on the way in, so I'm good.  We were then greeted by the Waiter, the Assistant Waiter and the Table Clearer, for lack of a better description. Hmm second clue.  We peruse little copies of the day's selections that changes and is printed daily. Third clue - the menu was pretty much in Italian - oops.  But I did get the impression they were big on organ meats and other things that I would probably shoot down the garbage disposal rather than cooking and charging so much for them.  Little did I know I was flushing the expensive stuff down the drain.

Everything was ala carte of course with at least five courses constituting the meal which by my figuring should last approximately five hours.  Though table clearer kept popping in every two minutes to see if we had any dirty dishes to dispose of, so apparently my time estimate was way off. But if you're to spend $100+ for dinner, I am going to take my time.  Waiter A regaled us with the specials which for some reason were not listed on the daily bill of fare. Also from what I recall consisted of the loser of a recent bullfight or pig toss, I'm not really sure. I stuck with soup, salad and pasta with identifiable ingredients.  Really cool restaurant overall and fitting for the type of clientele that would normally frequent such a place.  News flash. People with money dress down 'cause if you can afford to eat there, you can wear any dang thing you want including tutus and sandals.  And that was just the guys.

Final day was in search of a famous, yet unknown apple that is only grown in this area. But as we didn't remember the name of it or where it was located we were rather at a disadvantage. Ended up hitting a couple of vineyards and collecting the special Rose that we went up there to purchase in the first place before heading home.

Oh BTW, looks like this week would have been perfect as the fickle leaves have started their annual showing.  Ah well when you get apples and grapes make cider and wine.

COLOR TOUR WOES

Day One of a spontaneous trip up North (as Michiganders speak), to review the fall color face lift enjoyed by our State.  Woefully the leaves are stubbornly retaining their chlorophyll gluttony and refusing to turn as quickly as usual. Every year is basically a crap shoot -- too much rain? cold nights? wind? Part of nature's little game of "catch me if you can" on fall leaf painting. Temperature is in the mid 70's.

However all is not lost, frequent pops of burnt orange (often fluorescent) were paramount as mile after mile of ROAD WORK signs were encountered. Occasionally the orange is punctuated by a few errant spots of yellow and green from the worker's safety vests.  I usually refer to them as targets considering the level of accidents that occur to road workers. One has to ponder why government budgets end in September with new money available October 1, Did it occur to anyone that perhaps road work would be better completed in, say, the warmer months? Immediately subjecting fragile new roadways to the punishment of winter does not seem to be a very good game plan. But I digress.

Ok, past Houghton Lake a few more Fall jacketed trees are starting to appear.  No doubt these are possibly dying foliage throwing a last shawl of brilliant color on before passing on. Could be the slowness of the technicolor show commencing or the angle of the light, but I have never seen the color of raspberry on so many colored leaves.  Or could it just be a trick of my sunglasses - the proverbial rose colored phenomenon?

After another 30 or 40 miles we will be crossing the Mighty Mac to the Upper Peninsula the land of whitewater waterfalls and chuckling chipmunks. Well at least I think they are chipmunks I hear as one traverses the off-road woodland paths to the aforementioned waterfalls. It is also the land of two mailboxes - one for warm weather and the second 10 feet higher to accommodate the massive piles of plowed snow that occur in the cooler months. A land where the motorcycles of summer are replaced with the rumbling excitement of the snowmobiles, with drivers and passengers often wearing the same protective gear as weather does tend to change quickly.

 Sault Ste Marie (the Soo) was uncharacteristically sheathed in warm weather and green trees. Most unusual for October. Remembering our adventures from our youth we eagerly checked into the downtown hotel and headed to the "Antlers" restaurant for dinner where one picked out their meat from a giant cooler for grilling and some brave souls would attempt the 5-pound hamburger. Although the masses of animal heads and body parts were still prominently displayed on walls and ceiling alas the meat locker was gone along with the front door and other illusions of grandeur that made the Antlers special.  Upon suggesting that changes had occurred since the last trip there to the youngish waiter who looked extremely blank or cautious as not to upset the customer it dawned on me - that was 40 years ago. Sigh. Things definitely get smaller as you get older.

After dinner I was treated to the numerous well-lit exotic places of food and fantasy that were bypassed in favor of the A-room with its dead animals on the walls and no obvious door. Perhaps the darkness and lack of front door should have been warning enough. Not that one in front; ok that one is chained, go to the rear past the motorcycle chained to some steps. In pouring rain no less. Finally finding the back door available ( oh that's why everyone parked back here) and then another labyrinth to a hostess who seated the two of us at a table for 8. Did we stumble on a party to be joined by others? Or are we dining European style where all are friends over food or lack of tables. Nope, just they know how many diners to expect on a rainy Wednesday evening so it just plain didn't matter!

Bottom line - I didn't recognize the old place.  Wasn't it bigger with a more elaborate menu? Dead animals still making camp on walls ceilings check. However I did discover "pontaine" which is apparently a Canadian delicacy that closely resembles cheesy fries.

Souvenir hunting in mind after dinner we discovered all sidewalks apparently roll up at 9 pm. Except for the fabulous restaurants and bars of course. I suppose it makes sense as the majority of people we saw on our impromptu road trip were boomer aged. So hunkering down with some wine or whiskey is probably the activity of choice after 9 pm. This is a college town so there was a variety of bars and saloons to choose from however.

WHY I WILLNEVER VOTE FOR TRUMP

It needs to be said. Trump is running to be dictator-in-chief. His deplorable performance at the first debate is just another indication of his meglamania mindset.  He only takes on projects where he can make a buck usually at the expense of everyone else. He actually used his projects/scams in other countries as his knowledge of their culture, history and relationship with the United States.  Being President is not a business deal where your sole objective is to take advantage of the other guy and make money.

A business person who does not understand that this is a global economy and every country's actions have an impact on others is an idiot.  This is not the 1930's though one wonders if that is his objective. It is especially telling when his rallies focus on blaming minorities (fast becoming majorities) for all the woes of the country. That we can solve our problems by "cleansing" certain ethnicities, religious beliefs or race. Next we will be seeing makeshift swastikas appearing with the Trump logo embedded of course.

Government does not exist to make a profit which is why the forefathers created checks and balances so that no one person could become King. We pay taxes to allow our government the ability to take care of the helpless, undertake projects that are too large for the individual, protect our citizens and speak for us on the world platform. Surprise, none of this is a business deal designed to screw the other guy, but to be a faithful servant of the people. Does our legislature often fail to be good caretakers. Granted, but that is on us to vote and apply pressure to assure the right things are done rather than complacently allowing things to go on as usual and then bitch about it.

 Our boy admires people like dictator brother Putin and there is evidence to indicate Russia is heavily invested in Trump projects. There are also strong indications that the Russians are behind strategic hacking as evidenced by Trump's assertion that it is probably some 400 lb loser sitting on his bed with his laptop. That loser's bed is probably located in the Kremlin. Why make such ridiculous statements including I don't pay taxes because I'm smart.  How do we make America great again when you don't believe you need to pay anything for the cause.  Again arrogant to the extreme.

There are many reasons why I despise what the man stands for but here are a few outrageous examples. 1) mocking a physically impaired journalist and locking other journalists in a fenced area encouraging rabid rally attendees to heap ridicule and missiles onto them; 2) denouncing a judge, born in the United States, because his parents were from Mexico (your grandparents were from Germany, but you don't like to say that do you); 3) a female journalist was unfit as she had blood coming out of her whatever; 4) receiving a purple heart from a veteran saying - always wanted one but this was easier way to get one; 5) insulting the parents of an American soldier killed in the Mideast defending his men; 6) destroying the lives of small investors and contractors unlucky enough to be involved in his business dealings claiming it will be more expensive for them to sue him than to collect what was rightfully owed to them.

This man does not speak for me and I sure as hell don't want him speaking for my country. Remember if he is smart for not paying his taxes, what does that make us?  We do have an alternative who is highly qualified and has earned the right to represent this country, but I will not sully her reputation in this condemnation of the idiot Trump.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Enjoying the enviable position of being able to grocery shop on a weekday I almost miss the consternation in the chicken coops of everyone scrambling to get their food chores done on the weekend. Sandwiched in between other necessary errands neglected during the work week. Yes, food references throughout! There is a pattern to when people shop however.  Monday store shelves are often missing popular items due to the invasions over the weekends so not a good day to go.

Though I understand it is a necessity, how many times have we tripped over both shoppers grabbing products and store personnel frantically replenishing said product at the same time? Which basically leaves aisles impassable due to shopping carts aggressively parked sideways in the aisle together with the rolling multi-layer store carts taking up the rest of the space?  Neither is willing to give up any hard fought for real estate to ease the passage of others. Although I will attribute this roadblock to inattention and not maliciousness, there are still some who believe, by golly I got here first and I will examine each brand, ingredient and price in minute detail and the heck with the rest of you. Polite "excuse me's" may or may not grant you passage but accidently on purpose ramming a cart into another usually works.

Then there are the older people who move a little slower, reach is limited and eyesight suspect. For their own safety I advocate weekday early morning shopping.  However the weekday is fraught with its own hazards.  For some reason Tuesday morning brings the march of the riding carts equipped with a small basket.  I have counted at least half a dozen blocking the lanes in the course of a couple of minutes. My theory is there is a beacon on top of the building inviting the cart riders to "come on down". You would think that would speed things up right?  Not. Just provides a more comfortable spot to contemplate the various products or the shopper's navals, whatever.

There is an interesting contrast between summer and winter weekday shopping however. When school is not in session, adults are accompanied by varying numbers of children wild with boredom who are let loose in a huge warehouse of toys and food. Wheee.  I actually noticed one harried Mother tending to the infant in the front seat ignorant of the fact that an older sibling was playfully pulling the lip up of a slightly older sibling. They were boys so I imagine they worked it out or will when the younger one grows bigger and meaner than his tormentor. Once school is back in session you see much calmer Moms and Dads practically dancing down the aisles drunk on their new-found freedom.  Of course they still block the aisles.

And of course checkout is always a contest.  Walking through the area on my way into the store I see plenty of open lanes with cashiers literally filing their nails or learning conversational French as they wait for customers. By some magic when it is time to check out however, we of the full carts eye each other warily as we realize we are now all in competition for the shortest available lane. You literally hear engines idling and sharp intakes of breath as we all frantically scan for the "best lane". I am not proud of beating out the older lady with the cane to that short lane the other day. But who knows this may have been the highlight of her day so who am I to rush the experience.

Of course there is payback when the mature folks who are ahead of me by 10 or 15 minutes, are still painstakingly removing items from their cart, chatting up the cashier and being surprised that money is to be exchanged at the end at the end of the transaction.  The purse is THEN opened and often more times than not, a little white bank envelope is pulled out stuffed with cash. Apparently the older generation still does not trust those little plastic cards and will meet their week's needs with real live money.  I worry that at the speed they move and the amount of cash they carry could make them sitting ducks for the swifter and more larcenous of the population.

Another observation is the number of people who will line up and WAIT to self-checkout.  Really? Not only are we depriving a person of a cashier job, but we are literally paying the store for the privilege of doing their work.  Unless I'm buying something embarrassing or fattening, AND there is no line, I use the humans.

Final observation - toddlers and babies.  Nothing is more enjoyable than interacting with the little people trapped in their cart seats while Mom or Dad are waiting to check out. They are bored but are thrilled to talk to any stranger who wishes to engage. A trait we have to beat out of them as they grow older. One little one was chewing on the chip bag which we cooed over until Mom snatched it away. Then she started chewing on the bottle cap of the milk jug. In horror Mom pulled it away probably seeing germs everywhere. At that the little girl just gave up and rested her weary head on the frozen peas with a sly little grin to us.

THE POWER OF WORDS

Is it just me or do others find it annoying when people mispronounce certain words or letters? I realize that sometimes it's just a regional thing, sometimes a region as small as 50 miles or less.  But there is a tendency in this area not to pronounce "T".  Really, it appears in the word, it is written in the word but people just don't pronounce it. 

Living in the Lansing Michigan area, we are inundated with advertisements and news about Michigan State University.  Now I love MSU, I went there, my daughter graduated from there, much of my higher education money went there and I am a diehard fan.  That being said when did we start being referred to as "Spar'ans".  I kid you not. A sweet little boy I know is referred to as "Kea'on".  Love him but I have a heck of a time when I try to say his name so rather than insult I just refer to him as their sweet little boy.  But the words in question are SPARTAN and KEATON.  I am probably the freak insisting on pronouncing words the way they are written so I take my grammar beatings in good spirits. But I just can't be a Spar'an no matter how hard I try. 

And every time I hear that commercial promoting an emergency injection product for severe allergic reactions and the young man says "I just cou'n breathe" it drives me crazy! What happened to the "d and the "l" and the "t" for that matter. Are we just lazy or do we really just not know any better.  Heck I love a sweet southern accent and the way they pronounce some words in one long syllable, but I think their habit of dropping the ending is merely weather-related.  Such as, "Wha's happeninnnnnnn"  That's cool.  It's hot and sticky and people are economizing by not talking too much or too long.  Perfectly logical.

And then there is the weird pronunciation of that mundane word WASH.  In what world does one say WaRsh?  Apparently this one.  Warsh your clothes, drive on Warshington Avenue named after the famous lst President Geor Warshington.  (SPELL CHECK is going crazy by the way). And it is a ROOF not a word that describes a dog barking.

I don't mind having a Midwestern accent, which according to my travels is the equivalent of no accent. I also base that on the fact that most newscasters sound like me, unless of course, it is the local weather person.  They sound exactly like their hometown which also indicates that is probably the only part of the newscast locals really care to listen.  Who can blame them?  I'd much rather talk about the weather than the rest of what passes for news these days myself.

So warsh your ruff and hang your Spar'an flag out Lansing-it's football season!!

FASHION vs FUNCTION

Enjoying the Olympics for the past week I am struck by many things. Patriotism, athletes and countries getting along (well for the most part), the faces of those who will never win a medal but are overwhelmed by just making the original cut; the sheer emotion that accompanies every contest finale and medal ceremony. The world at its best if only for two weeks.  However all that aside, I want to talk about the Olympic fashions.

I can't help but wonder what secret committee gets together to determine the mode of dress or undress for each sport? Oh sure I get that fashion might be aerodynamic or minimalist to assure victories that are measured in 1/100th of a second.  All that drag from clothing will apparently make a huge difference. Which makes me wonder why the athletes don't just compete naked as the early Greeks did? In some sports that appears to be the intent - think beach volley ball and track and field. I felt my female self cringe "in those places that must not be named" seeing those tight little panties the lady runners wear. I was happy to note some wearing the long covering shirts and fan-like shorts similar to what I wear to work out in.  But then I'm not  being photographed by the world media or seeking to impress with my perfect abs, thighs and butt. Which might explain some of these outfits, hairdos and make-up of some ladies I see at the gym.  Where are the cameras?  I thought those were there for security.

But then why do the swimmers wear adult onesies that give them the appearance of chunky seals skimming through the water?  Material that is lighter than skin? But runners wear the absolute minimum-wouldn't the same principles apply?  Ain't science amazing? However as long as you look exactly like your counterparts apparently you belong and no one stands out as looking absolutely ridiculous. 

I do appreciate the clever way the countries identify themselves on the backs of their athletes with the wonderful colors and designs representing their countries. And I love the nail polish on many of the American women showing red, white and blue in many different and creative ways.

The fans are just as colorful sporting America's colors in fine Olympic style. Where do they find these perfect items?  Somebody is cleaning up nicely and I picture push carts on the streets of Rio carrying every type of patriotic wear for the 200+ countries represented.

Since I'm discussing the Olympics what is with these media types who keep stumbling over themselves discussing the female athletes? "She swims like a man" "She is the wife of a Chicago Bear linebacker" "She owes her success (2 gold medals for pete's sake) to her husband coach".  Really?  But the kicker was when the coach of the American women's basketball team was asked if he thought it looks bad that the American women are so dominating in the games?  Since when did being the best at your sport leads to stupid questions about whether you're playing nice.  That ranks right up there with the "everybody gets a trophy for just participating". Uh no. Winning is sweet, working hard and taking the gold is earned. They don't crown you the best unless you are.  Try asking that question of Mike Krzysewski and watch him play a little "one-on-one" on your rear.

ABOUT TIME

Just when you think that gender doesn't matter in 2016, guess what it does!  The fact that a woman, a very capable woman, has finally received the nomination from a major party for the presidency is a big deal in this country.  Never mind that other countries have been gender blind for many years; even Sri Lanka realized that in 1960, not to mention Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir and the German Chancellor Merkel.  Apparently to some "all men were created equal" didn't mean all people.  Though I do believe that was their intent.  America the leader of the world in so many ways is pitching a fit because we might have a woman running the show, pathetic.

Yet this woman, this very capable woman, has been attacked continuously and put under the microscope for everything from her beliefs, actions and what she wears-- seriously!! ( Though I wish someone would do a little fashion update for her.)  I myself didn't really care what I wore for work considering often I'd be wearing hard hat, safety glasses and "mickey mouse" hearing protection. Not much of a fashionista, but then I was there to work, duh.

What are you afraid of people?  Does the idea of a smart, strong woman mess up your idea of America?  June Cleaver was a "fig newton" of your imagination.  Women have been working alongside the men to survive forever, outside of the 1950's apparently.  Do you think Farmer Jones managed his farm on his own?  Or the pioneers traveled across the country facing hardships and overcoming them were all masculine? Or the only ones who can hunt and shoot and defend themselves stand to pee? Or all university students, engineers, soldiers, architects, artists, etc, etc are not "all the people".

Can people seriously support a man who continually lies, cheats, bullies, pouts when crossed and shoots down everything this country believes in?  The dude doesn't even pay his bills as is evidenced by the number of lawsuits brought against him to collect wages and bills legitimately contracted for services rendered.  Who accuses people of ethnic bias or calls them names when they go against him. Classy.  And of course, let's hand the checkbook to the guy who declared bankruptcy four times which means he stiffed everyone he owed money to. Nice. Let's hand him the checkbook for the United States.  Anyone not think he is in this for the power?  Think again.

And to those who oppose the legitimate candidate that is running you ask why, they say "you can't trust her".  Explain.  Benghazi - not one person's fault and actually more embassies have been attacked and more people killed under every preceding president. Emails - the republican appointed FBI director has cleared her of wrong-doing in Congressional hearings who also had to state well, there were actually 3 possibly classified emails that were sent to her by others who should have known better.  Both "witch-hunts" were orchestrated by republicans with the "expressed" purpose of "bringing her down".  Unfortunately, their hand-picked candidates for president didn't make the cut.  Oops.

Having worked in a non-traditional profession for many years, I thought this kind of male vs. female crap had been eliminated.  I know what it is like to be thought of as less than capable because I wore a dress on occasion, resented even.  I didn't mind working harder to be credible and usually ignored the sticks and stones so to speak that were constantly hurled my way.  Some were bold or twisted enough to actually say "you'll never get it because you're a woman" - yes, literally.  Being raised as I was by a strong Mother however, I just shrugged and proceeded to do my job and exceed expectations every time. Boo Rah.  Though some might say "well the expectations were low due to your gender".  No, I went above and beyond what was expected by someone in my position because 1) it was the right thing to do; and 2) I was never one to hide intelligence behind a bushel basket to "get along".  Lonely sometimes but so rewarding when someone actually gets it and you know you've made a difference.

Oddly enough you have to fight the very people you're trying to help because they don't believe you're able to make changes. Listening to people and trying to work with them to see the light facilitated more change than forcefully imposing your will because you could. It's called respect. Swallowing your ego seems harder for the male of the species. Doing so and letting the other person "win" is not a weakness believe me.

I'll throw something else out there.  Women know what it is like to create life and we are much more cognizant of the actions that come into play that would eliminate it. Weakness?  I think not. Compassion and willingness to work through a problem is a strength that women have as their super powers.  Rarely would you see a woman up in the watch tower with a machine gun. We all need to embrace the ability to reason and bring consensus in this increasingly dangerous world. Seeking peaceful solutions may not sit well with some who see every problem as a nail that can only be addressed with a hammer.  Instead of throwing roadblocks we need to embrace the special talents that each of us brings forward. 

Yes, I am excited that a woman will be our leader and yes, it shouldn't make a damn bit of difference what gender, race, religion, ethnicity that person is.  This is the freedom this country promised us back in 1776. And one day I do hope that young people will find it common that ANYONE can achieve any lofty goal they set for themselves. 

BOOMER BEEF

I experienced a bittersweet happening this week.  The good news is I received my personal Medicare card. The bad news is I received my personal Medicare card.  On the one hand -yeah in your face- we boomers are going to be covered by social security and medicare, something we never thought we would  see!  On the other, I am old, old, old according to some archaic rule of age. 

However have you looked at your basic senior citizen lately?  They are the ones windsurfing next to you, zip lining ahead of you or running circles around you in a half marathon.  Yep, not your father's senior citizen.  Which brings up a dilemma - when do we get to just "call it in" so to speak? If all of us seem younger, fitter and more energetic than previous generations, then we also have to maintain that strong, virile activity level when anyone's looking. So many of my compatriots are busily engaging in hobbies they have had scant time to indulge in pre-medicare/SS days.  Taking quilting to the next level of competitive contests; creating entire buildings out of their wood carving habit; camping on mountaintops and starting a second career based on their "real" interests.

When do we just admit, I really don't want to do anything or prove anything.  I worked; I was successful yet under-appreciated; I nurtured my employees and helped them achieve great things (that was appreciated); I don't need to do anything constructive ever again? My entire working life, I was constantly on-call and engaged in projects and putting out fires for many hours everyday.  I have no hobbies to take to the next level and never did.  My joy, my fulfillment was in my work - solving problems, creating programs that had never been done before, saving lives.  What do you follow that up with?  Just got a text from former staff members begging me to "please come back" after a year and a half of being retired! Though the message was half in jest I know the frustrations they feel as people not quite so dedicated or interested take over.  Though flattered, I responded "I'm shopping & later having a glass of wine - you want me to give all that up?"  They of course said yes, yes we do.

I don't have a strong desire to do anything especially helpful, but I feel guilty when I am not engaged in something constructive. My significant other has tasks that he is always puttering around with and even makes lists. Which really brings out the guilty feeling.  I'm totally counting on that feeling to pass. But then he has been at this retirement thing a lot longer.  So I guess I will continue playing with my grandson, scribbling in my blog; entering writing contests and reading as much as I can. With age comes wisdom so the saying goes.  Here's is the contradiction - your age is your age, but your mind is still 16 or 21 or 30. Always a surprise when it hurts when you get up too fast or can't hammer in the gym like you used to.  I refuse to give in to that so that's something.  So sue me; at least I still don't look like a senior citizen (give me my fantasies) but sometimes my days are just nothing earth-shattering, I'm not 20, but fulfilling in their own way.

I also give permission for all "seniors" to do whatever the hell they feel like doing and enjoy each day as if it is your last-no excuses. 

HOSPITAL GOWNS ARE SILLY

Would anyone find humor in spending a longggg day in the outpatient area of a hospital entertaining someone who is about to undergo a scary procedure?  Well I would actually.  At least I was entertained as we discussed and giggled over the absurd process.  I have been accused of being heartless cracking wise when another loved one was going through childbirth, but that is another story. Though in my defense in my own childbirth adventure the Doc did ask the ceiling if I ever shut up and I totally remember stating that they needed some music to accompany the process along the lines of the "Volga Boat Song" - you know  Yo Ho Heave Ho. 

Originally scheduled for 3:30 the procedure was not begun until three hours after that. Having arrived at 1:30 as instructed my powers of distraction were tested, but I had help - from the patient! Like a well-oiled assembly line, patients are processed and banded to indicate to security they are to be returned if found escaping, err, wandering aimlessly around the parking lot. Sometimes under the influence of some really cool drugs I am guessing. Then we were whisked to another floor by a volunteer who waited after the original check-in to tell us what window to go to and then escorts us to the next check-in. These have to be volunteers as how would you compensate for basically being a human directional sign?

As patient advocate (cool, I have a title) I am summoned to check-in and instructed as to my duties - essentially entertaining the patient until zero hour and hanging around to take them home.  They frown on unaccompanied patients directing their own fates.  A heavy responsibility not to be taken lightly.  At least until I saw the next patient came in by himself so, so much for that moment of self-importance. I had been previously informed of both my patient's wishes and approved communications upon them possibly achieving a warm nirvana state and to quell curious questions by nosy people. Check and check.

After a long wait (45-60 minutes) while they "prepped" (tortured) the patient I was allowed in to scoff at their hospital dress and be regaled by their description of the indignities performed on their person. I won't go into details, but all procedures are geared to quench any form of rebellion or resistance to the people performing the procedure, Pretty much propriety is sacrificed in the name of efficiency.  Something about talking to someone in a backless hospital gown, crazy little slippers lounging on a recliner chair with tubes stuck in them just brings me to a high state of hilarity. I'm sick I know, but at least the patient did not focus on what was to come though I'm sure they thought maybe I should undergo the procedure if only to shut me up. 

At one point I remember discussing the shaving that comes with much surgery and our horror that the gentleman directly across from us (no curtain drawn) might be subjected to some type of grooming that would be facing us head on so to speak.  That made us laugh so loud I thought they were going to throw us out. But nurses and orderlies in the prep area (yeah just like a kitchen) just said you guys are having a good time.

The delay was so long, they actually closed down the prep area and had to move us to the recovery area.  In fairness, there was an emergency that came in who had to go first so the wait was totally understandable. We figured we'd have to quiet down as people were, ahem, recovering but alas the nurses in there were microwaving blueberry muffins and quite jolly and louder than us. Hospitals are like that - no one goes there to sleep. At one point my patient was getting noticeably cold so I went in search of a nurse and stated her lips are blue and before I could get out I need some warmed blankets, she goes "what, she quit breathing?" not terribly concerned.  I said no no just cold.  See what I mean? They were hilarious, well maybe not to everyone who doesn't feel good, but we enjoyed it.

Finally off our patient went after everyone was gone but our little party. They said an hour and a half so we went in search of food before the cafeteria closed. Yum hospital food-not always recognizable but always bad.  I stick to sandwiches & containerized yogurt from the cooler. After a bite and a seat outside until we warmed up-why do hospitals keep the temperature at 20 below - we went back to the waiting room and found everything closed and lights out.  UH OH.  Found the light switch and an orderly who said "can I help you?" I said waiting on our patient to be done (kitchen talk again) He says oh every one's gone from back there.  Ahh another UH OH. We did convince him to check again because see the patient is up there on the computer screen status "having the procedure" so if every one's gone she is apparently wielding the knife herself which should give us a break on the bill.

OK our patient is now outside the door - oh on a bed being pushed by the nurse- and off we go to a room so she can lay still for 2 HOURS.  Of course I was up for the challenge and we had another round of hysterical conversation between sips of orange juice which I will tell you is extremely difficult to deliver when someone is laying flat.  As she was such a good patient and we were obviously such good caretakers they reluctantly released her to our care and we all celebrated with chocolate shakes and malts the preferred "I've just had a medical procedure" reward. 

Nature Nurtures

It's raining.  Those two words are followed by the distinct sound of frantic plants making noisy sucking sounds.  You think I am kidding?  I distinctly heard leaves unfurling, bird bath splashing and blades of grass going ahhh, which when they do it all together, sounds rather delightful. It has been many weeks of beautiful, sunny and extremely dry weather. Some grasshopper-mentality greenery greedily drank and spilled in their moment of over-abundance. Silly plants don't know most rain this summer has been stingy and short-lived.  The wiser ones sip and store, sip and store.  They know the promise of further life-giving sustenance may become stingy once more.

I never realized how much I would welcome the sound of a strong steady rain until I looked at the copper colored lawn and some shriveled plants.  Although some plants are bursting at their proverbial seams.  Hostas for some reason are becoming gigantic, though no flower buds yet. The day lilies are spilling over with eager yellow heads. Weeds for some reason seem to savor the dryness with subdued chuckles at the fate of their weaker more cultivated cousins who require so much more to survive. Rather a metaphor for people I suppose.  The have-nots know how to get by with much less through necessity and are not easily thrown by life's dispassionate division of the spoils.

Yes, it's raining. Rejoice and refresh in the moment, but save a little for leaner times my friends.

IT'S A JOE'S LIFE

On the spur of the moment I texted Kristen to see if they wanted to meet somewhere for dinner on Friday.  Mostly because the Burt man was fishing all day and I hated to tax him with making dinner after he got back.  Yes, I still let him make dinner even though I'm retired.  Which usually leads to the same discussion every day, "what do you want for dinner" at about 9:30 in the morning.  To which I respond I don't even want to think about it, it's 9:30 in the AM!  However, apparently certain preparations need to be made such as marinating, searching new and exciting recipes that I will critique (usually negatively) and, oh I don't know, for things to defrost.  As the routine is usually chicken, pork and beef with occasional side forays into other food choices, I don't know why we go through this everyday.  Well yes I do.  It  is to avoid issues later when I decide I don't want to eat what was prepared based on diet, mood and general bitchiness. Whereupon the cook can correctly point out, well you agreed.

Anyway Kristen and Joseph were available so we met at a local eatery. Arriving first, we had a short debate on the little booth or the giant booth that normally seats six customers or one Joseph. He tends to be a mover.  Sitting still for any length of time does not seem to be in his repertoire or skill set as 1) he is four, and 2) he is a boy, so obviously we grabbed the larger booth. An experienced Mom, Kristen slid the boy in first and took the outside guardian spot.  He is usually bouncy and full of joy and conversation after a hard day at work (preschool) so it is also a good idea to pick a generally noisy spot to eat so he doesn't stand out with loud conversation and giggles.

He loves to engage any and all so those around us are subject to his sparkling personality and happy smile; whether they want to or not. We usually spend our time apologizing and trying to explain that not everyone is here to be entertained.  Most are gracious once they realize we are not going to let him get too frisky.  My issue is when adults do not corral their equally active children when I am dining. Yes, your kids are cute, etc., but I don't appreciate them hanging over my booth or throwing food in my hair.  Yeah, bah humbug.  Guess what unless they're yours, they're not that cute.

Joseph does like to do his own ordering which is usually pre-suggested, and thus pre-approved by Mom. Usually does get a smile out of the servers who for the most part do their best to respond directly to him much to his delight. After ordering a perfectly acceptable meal and receiving basically a similar version of McDonald's chicken nuggets & fries though of a healthier version, he promptly turns his nose up and requests to be taken to "Old McDonald's" as he calls it.

After dinner he wanted to go to Nana/Grandpa house.  He knows there are frozen Otter pops there.  Mom agrees for "just an hour".  He immediately opens the freezer & discovers Nana's fancy expensive fruit and veggie frozen popsicles and promptly states his preference for those.  Great and here we are with literally dozens of the cheap ones!  He sits in the kitchen eating his popsicle as no food is allowed in the newly redone living room and continues to regale us with his day and dripping popsicle juice everywhere. Afterward we settle in to watch a movie and he acts all calm and sleepy. When Mom is ready to leave, he clamors to stay.  I offer to take him for the evening-it's already 7:30-8:00 and he's close to bedtime anyway and we have p-jays here. All is calm.

However within minutes of Mom leaving, Joseph wants to go outside.  Soon I am posting a picture of Grandpa and Joe out watering the tomatoes. Mom posts back "well that didn't take very long".  Never let them get a second wind I guess is the lesson there. Then he spends a few minutes exchanging stones through the fence with the neighbor boy until both sides are hollering to the boys it's time to come in.

It's good to be Joe.

NOT MY PROBLEM?

If you don't believe we are one world, look at the fallout from the U.K. withdrawing from the European Union.  It is affecting the economic markets around the world. Other European countries are now clamoring for a similar choice. Though we all want to feel we are independent and don't need each other, we do. If the world does not stand together against those that have no use for our way of life, freedoms or religions, the evil ones will separately pick each one apart. Like it or not, chosen or not, we are all connected in the current world economy.

This type of evolution was inevitable as technology improved to the point of instant communication and international business interactions. Might I suggest it was preordained that we would finally realize our similarities are more numerous than our differences.  Whenever people have access to education, and the internet, they are able to understand that even if their backyard looks different from another's, we are all engaged in living, loving, family and looking for opportunities to have a decent life for ourselves and our children. These are the universal truths we are finally realizing apply to all.

I do understand some of the Brits reasoning such as paying a lot into the EU and not always getting a return on what they spend.  Often like the States sending money to Washington that does not make its way back for the State's benefit.  Also the expectation that every country will take unlimited refugees which impacts every working man and woman.  These are real issues and apparent to even the most uninformed.  However the ability to stand as one, trade without barriers, defend each other and help keep each other strong should be the goal of all civilized society.

Contrary as it sounds, each country can only maintain their own unique identity and way of life when there is partnership and support from others. The sooner we realize that we must stand together on issues that impact us all for the common good, the sooner we will create the wonderful world we desire.

THE LION SPEAKS

Took an impromptu trip to the "D" to visit the Detroit Zoo.  I haven't been there "nigh on 50+ years" as the old fogies say. As always with a nostalgic-based trek things are so much smaller than I remember.  But then so was I.  The 1.7 mile stroll around the zoo peninsula was not all that daunting with my Dr. Scholl cushioned shoes. Of course the stops for the occasional wild animal sighting do tend to break up the walk. 

We were warned to come after 1 p.m. as the summer-minded school children usually ended their field trips by then. Apparently the last few weeks of the school year are basically a write-off so teachers are frantically looking for ways to entertain their soon to be liberated brood and hard core learning is off the table.  Another reason for year-round schools with generous vacations interspersed. If a couple months of freedom are not beckoning from the distance, apparently school-agers can keep their minds focused on the prize so to speak.  However, air conditioning is a must if we expect them to learn in any kind of comfort.

Dutifully appearing after 1:00 pm did little to mitigate the flood of small fry running, jumping, screaming and basically getting in the way of anything interesting. (There is a reason we travel in late September, early October.) However that did not hold true either when we took a cruise in the middle of January. We were amazed at how casually parents pull their babies out of school to partake in an off-site educational experience (swimming, playing, movies, eating, etc.) that are found on-board. Yep I don't get it either. When I was in school - oh no uphill both ways; it took an act of the almighty to be out of school a day or two with all teachers signing off and homework assigned.  No wonder the kids don't feel it is important,

Anyway as usual we bring the worst weather when we travel which actually suits me fine as I hate the heat.  Coolish in the 60's was ok with me. However the animals were scarce and those who appeared to entertain were frantically searching for any sunny spot or hiding in their respective dens.  Don't blame them.  The two lions visible - male and female - were stretched out like any respectable house cats in the one big rock smack dab in the sun. I believe the zoo personnel taking pity on the mobs of people straining to see, well anything, decided to provide a little mid-afternoon snack for the cats.

As is in the wild, the female immediately jumped up and loped to the chunks of meat being tossed from a very high point of the den - protected by electric fence I'm guessing. As the hunter in the family she was of course bringing home the bacon, frying it up in a pan la la, but I digress.  Those hunks of meat were looking rather toothsome I must admit and we had missed lunch.  Anyway as she was not bringing it back for Daddy Cat, he of luxurious mane and lazy butt, slowly, majestically made his way over to the food wall.  Though he moved a little more quickly when he saw his ravenous mate grabbing all the choice bits.  Good for you Mama.

Another high point was the Australian outback exhibit. Only a certain number of people are let into the enclosure at a time which should have made me suspicious after we were locked in and told "now you'all don't stray from the path and someone will let you out at the other end".  Whaa? Too late the door is closed behind you.  Well I have no problem with koalas and sloths as one sleeps all day and the other is not known for its ambitious actions. Then we saw them...dum dum dum dum - the Joeys jumping and hopping all around the yard.  I especially like the convenient way they recline by resting on their very muscular tails, leaning back and taking in the sights.  After seeing how energetic they were and how outnumbered we were, I definitely did not "stray from the path".  We were eventually let out of the confined area and I am convinced that we were considered entertainment for the kangas. But I definitely did not take any food from them. 

We ended our tour with a penguin retreat which consisted of a bunch of tuxedo clad participants who apparently party continually.  Though I appreciated the pristine black and white suits, I longed for a lady in a red dress mixed in.  After climbing down several levels of stairs in pitch black I might add, and with a little misty water thrown in we made it to the bottom of their lair. With my background as a safety professional I bitched the whole way down that this was a lawsuit just waiting to happen and clung to the guardrail when I could find it with the grip of a octopus suction cup.

However at the bottom was a magical tube where the tuxedos dove, swam furiously and captured fish thrown in from some unknown magic feeder.  At least I never figured out where they came from.  Maybe fish just wandered in from the Detroit River looking for food and uh-oh-penguins.  I also found it fascinating how they would turn the fish around before they swallowed it whole. Those that did not accomplish the maneuver quickly were destined to have their meal snatched away by another player. Cool.

ACTIVE SHOOTER AGAIN

As I listen to newscasts detailing the most recent mass shooting in Orlando, Florida, I am frustrated by this continuing wave of violence that wracks our country. Some have forgotten the ability to resolve conflicts with dignity and respect and instead choose their own form of punishment with those whom they do not agree.  Or perhaps they were never taught, when I read about the bullying that occurs on school buses by children as young as kindergarten and bus drivers helpless to intervene as they face the wrath of "entitled" parents.

Unfortunately every workplace safety professional needs to prepare employees for this type of conflict which can occur both at work and other personal venues. Today, people are more apt to take their frustrations out on those they work with, or those their spouse works with, another's religion, lifestyle or gender identification. They are cowards all.  Nothing like being the only one prepared to take others' lives when they are not expecting it. Their choice of venue isn't identified as a kill zone or war to the victims they attack.  A little different if the man or woman on the other side of your gun site is aiming back at you.

We are all still new to this unexpected crisis and are still surprised at how quickly and lethal the situation can become. Most of us (besides military or police) are not trained to dive for cover and/or prepared to defend ourselves nor do we expect to. Most of us would stop and stare and try to figure out what is happening before moving - sitting ducks. I am not advocating we all arm ourselves and go everywhere hand on our weapon waiting for an opportunity.

Again most of us are not trained on when and where to shoot if the situation arises. Many innocents could be injured if everyone starts shooting indiscriminately. Case in point.  Already I hear questions being raised by the media of why the police took three hours to move in and why can't they get the deceased out of the building quicker. There was intel of an explosive device brought in by the perpetrator. The police were trying to avoid further bloodshed as well as death and injury to first responders by assessing and moving when it was the right time. They still need to clear the building of any hazards before letting people in. But the armchair quarterbacks with their 20-20 hindsight will continue to criticize.  A situation I am well aware of as a safety professional who needed to "make safe" before I could render aid.

I still think though we can take the example of the planeload of heroes in Pennsylvania who knew what had already happened and "swarmed" the cowards who had commandeered their plane. Though they all died, heroes, they saved who knows how many on the ground. I hope I will have the courage if I am ever in an active shooter situation to lead the charge.

A DAY TO REMEMBER

It would not be me if I didn't comment on the fact that Ms Clinton is now the presumptive democratic candidate for the Democratic party. YAY. Long time coming and why is that?  This is America. Why has it taken so long to finally nominate a female to the highest office in the land.  Now young girls truly can believe that the can be anything they want to be. Something I actually aspired to when I was in middle school. Other countries have admitted that the genders are equal in intelligence and ability for many years.  Why is this so shocking in the United States of America?

Love you Bernie, but you now need to step aside. Incorporate your ideas in our platform absolutely, but we all need to stand behind our presumptive candidate to overcome the disgusting candidate put forth by the other side.  Serves the Repubs right that they finally got what they asked for. A complete fool who they are twisting every each way to try to support. A bully who accuses anyone who questions him as not playing fair and "pickin on me".  Really what a coward.  Attacking a federal judge because he has a Mexican heritage because things aren't going his way is merely the latest in DT's strategy of winning at all costs. Is this who we want leading our country? Maybe that is a business strategy, but running government is not business.  It is created by and for the people which means swallowing a massive ego and doing the right thing.  Something he will never understand.

All we got from the Dems was health care for those who did not have it, low unemployment and a stock market that is roaring.  And nobody came for my guns.  What a surprise.  And this without any support, in fact, active roadblocks from the other side.  Just think what these last eight years would have been like if everybody had acted in the best interests of this country.  We succeeded in spite of the bullies and childish behavior.

Long live the American dream!

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

I find it interesting that 20 years after safety and health people (like myself) realized it, the news reports today that young people are showing hearing loss similar to folks in their 50's.  A big duh-uh.
I always said that loud concerts and other entertainment venues, loud car radios, MP-3 players, earphones and the modern equivalent headphones lead to a hearing loss.

This was proven by my noise testing of young new employees subjected to pre-employment baseline hearing tests before they were put in a noisy environment. I found what are called permanent threshold shifts indicating hearing loss in the high frequencies in 20 something people and even younger. Of course the hearing losses in older people were always attributed to industry-work-related noise exposure.  In fact, in the automotive industry it is practice to pay out for hearing loss no questions asked.

Yet I was considered a hard a---  when I prohibited wearing earphones hooked to their noise producers (players) in lieu of hearing protection.  Let me think.  Noisy environment and I still need to hear the machines or the alarms or other people speaking. So I will crank UP my device even louder. Of course there is no way of measuring what decibel level the wearer is inflicting on their sensitive ears, but when I can hear the music over the other noises on a person, I believe we are certainly overexposed.  For comparison purposes, a normal office environment runs about 60-65 decibels. Hearing loss can occur in as little as 85 decibels - sound levels easily achieved and exceeded by running any powered equipment, motorcycles, etc. 

When I performed training on noise and hearing loss I would use a couple of examples. Go for the humor and they might remember what you were trying to convey. A popular example, especially for the mature crowd was my pointing out the loss usually occurs first in the high frequency or higher pitched sounds. Hence their telling their wives that they can't hear them was legit as women usually register a little higher on the pitch scale. That only goes so far obviously. 

The second example that was rather universal was when I asked "have you ever spent a few hours enjoying your libation of choice in a noisy bar or restaurant.  You cruise home enjoying your radio and probably singing along when you are alone.  Then the next morning, you hop in your vehicle, turn on the ignition and the noise that now comes out of your sound system knocks you right out of the car!"  I see heads nodding.  Wow, that sounded just fine last night. Voila - temporary hearing shift and you do it often enough, permanent shift.  Then of course you can enjoy your music at whatever volume you please.

What was especially galling was when I saw advertisement for a product that touted itself as looking just like legitimate hearing protection when it was actually earphones hooked to your music. Wow, fool your employer and catch your tunes. What a spectacular idea. And the best part is when you retire you can go back on your employer to pay for your sexy new hearing aids.  Win-Win.

TREND SETTERS VS TREND LEADERS

This time of year we like to peruse the latest over-priced, over-hyped domiciles on the local Parade of Homes tour.  Each year I desperately search for something different, imaginative or just not a carbon copy of every other house.  Granted using the same wall colors, kitchen accents and wooden floors is safe, but hardly interesting.

Question 1-who the "h" buys these things?  $400,00 for what? Who are you trying to impress and why would you want to pay that much monthly with nothing left over for anything else. A lot of young people with children apparently. Though I would think a typical parent would cringe as their children did their usual thing on those pristine walls and immaculate floors. Some houses had more than one laundry hook-up I guess for obvious reasons.

Question 2- why do people think white "subway" tiles are all the rage for kitchen backsplashes. I digress.  When did kitchen backsplashes become the norm and why do they need to all look the same? Has anyone ever heard of a sponge? Anyway why would I want my kitchen to resemble a subway bathroom and I ain't talking about the sandwich store.  Ugh.

Question 3- with their usual lack of imagination all the builders put in white cupboards, gray counter tops, gray or tan walls and dark brown hardwood floors.  Do they have these secret little meetings early on to decide what blah style they plan on pursuing each year? Boring. ...I suppose they are trying to appeal to the masses, whoever they are and bland is apparently in. But we found out that these are already sold so apparently there is no individuality, no imagination in the home buyer of today; they just want to look like everyone else in an over-priced, totally impractical residence. Six bedrooms, 4.5 baths-again who is buying these McCastles- in the middle of a farmer's field? They will be complaining about the barnyard smells this summer no doubt.

Question 4 - is really a statement. Booties, booties, booties.  Not wanting to be subject to "other people's funk" the B-Man and I snatch brand-new, sanitized booties at the first house and then carry them to each stop. I must say Mayberry has the nicest booties, dark blue and hardy. Able to withstand multiple trips. Just installing new carpeting myself I must admit I cringed at my recent party when people with shoes on actually walked on my floor. I thought if I advertised my own unshod feet on the new carpet, pointedly slipping off flip flops, others would follow.  But I hope I would never demand people expose their unholy socks or naked feet if they were uncomfortable about it. Carpet does clean after all.

All things considered it was an excellent night to cruise around the neighborhoods (recently farmer fields) with the top down on the convertible. Perfect weather and looking cool as we made our stops notwithstanding the BMer convertible that unapologetically parked itself half in and half out of a Parade home driveway blocking the street. Those Germans are pushy you know.

THE REALITY OF REALTY

I love watching the home improvement shows and am addicted to House Hunters. I have learned a lot about what goes into a renovation and how much things cost with special emphasis on having a realistic contingency fund because something usually pops up that wasn't planned for.  I also learned that a good project does not happen overnight if you want it done right. Anyone who has painted knows the prep and clean-up almost take more time than the actual painting. Not sexy or glamorous, but part of any project is stopping to repair, sort, clean, etc. 

However the worst part about those shows is the people!  Of course I know they are going to pick folks who bitch about everything and expect a million dollar house for a hundred thousand. Where did these people come from?  What have they been led to expect? Even my first house was reasonably priced and I did not go into it thinking "this place sucks and I will immediately remodel".  Apartment dwellers with all the fancy finishes they have now come to expect or people who also watch these crazy shows?  I am especially embarrassed when I watch the international shows and the Americans always say "it's so small" or "if it doesn't have a dishwasher I'm walking".  I can't help but notice the painful face the Realtors try their best to disguise when dealing with these types of remarks.  They also say they want to live like the natives, but with all the modern conveniences.  Huh?

Speaking of Realtors I have learned if I ever buy again to tell them my budget is 50 to 75 thousand dollars less than I'm willing to spend.  They inevitably ignore the buyer's stating I will not go higher than such and such.  What a joke.  I take that as apparently a challenge for the realtor to show them everything but what they asked for.

The funniest one I saw recently showed sheer horror that the "toilet" did not have a separate room and door. The very words were snobbishly uttered "who would have a bathroom where they come in to use the sink and have someone sitting right there next to it on the toilet". Ah, I normally do not anticipate company when I am using the bathroom so one can only imagine what their earlier life must have been about. Also if you can't wait to use the other facilities you have invited yourself into my personal moment so not my problem.

I also enjoy when they say they don't want cookie-cutter and want character and then demand the same white kitchen, stone counter tops, "soaker tub" (bathtub in the real world), open concept (why add the redundancy of "concept" to "open") and hardwood floors. Wood floors are off my list the first time I see the commercials for special products you have to use to protect against children, mud, dogs, high heels, oh I don't know life happening and people using your floors.  Yes, we had hard-wood floors in the 50's but they were full of the scratches of real use.  Anything that requires me to scream at visitors, bar my grandson and grand dog from walking and apply fancy finishes every two weeks is way more attention than I ever want to pay to an inanimate object.

Saw pictures today of a local flipper who showed a newly remodeled kitchen with, you guessed it, white cupboards, stone counter tops, stainless steel (scratchable, dentable, fingerprint magnet) appliances. What "proverbial" Jones are we trying to keep up with? Do we have no imagination or are we afraid of being judged if we don't have everything everyone else has? Boring....

But there is one modern convenience that I whole-heartily endorse. My own bathroom attached to my bedroom. Otherwise another bathroom for everyone else and family is just fine. I grew up with seven people in my family and one bathroom; and SURVIVED! I actually saw a program where the father said if each child did not have their own bathroom that was a deal-breaker, again Huh? But yes, two bathrooms are nice and it will not contaminate your guests to use the same bathroom as your children or vice versa-horrors. 

My whole point is buy what you like. Decorate in a way that reflects your unique personality and family needs. Everything is not going to be exactly what you want at the price you want to pay. Remodeling doesn't have to happen today. Be bold, be different and if your circle criticizes or turns up their nose at your choices well just serve them the cheap wine and get a new circle. 

AND THE MOMENT IS NOW?

We have all heard or read that true inner peace exists by living in the moment.  Easily said, not easily practiced.  Don't we think about six errands ahead while we are engaged in one? Don't we plan the next stop and task while engaged in a current one? Don't we look for various ways to amuse ourselves in the future while we are performing a current moment? Is the issue that we are afraid that we will be bored if we don't plan ahead?  I speculate that the guru of the moment has very little in his or her life besides "living in the moment" as 1) they don't have a whole lot to do living on that mountaintop and 2) that is their stock and trade to practice what they preach or at least attempt to perfect their occupation.

That rather elaborate preamble was to introduce my revelation this morning as I tortured myself with my exercise routine.  Since my injured knee, strenuous exercise has been regulated to every other day rather than every day to allow some recovery from overtaxing my crappy arthritic limbs. Those who know me understand that admitting to any weakness or popping pills is not my thing.  I refuse to believe that age alone contributes to a lifetime of what I perceive to be weakness. So I stop taking my pain pills and pop a Tylenol now and then; or I force myself to keep moving when every step is torture.  I am not old! 

Ok, again I digress.  Halfway through my routine, I work out with some weights, in front of a mirror. Ok, I'm alone at 3:45-4:00 in the am so I face the mirror.  I try to blur my eyes so I don't see what I see.  Live in the moment. Feel what you feel.  I see this 60+ lady with a little pot belly sweating while she lifts the weight overhead and stretches sideways as far as she can go to hopefully keep her joints working.  When you live in the moment you feel more, you see more and you focus more.  Maybe there's something to this moment thing.  I felt strength and pride in my ability to at least do something to keep myself mobile.  I drifted. I thought of my Grandfather struck with rheumatoid arthritis and confined to a wheelchair most of his adult life. A man who was active, athletic and confined to a wheelchair for 40+ years. That is what keeps me going. Knowing that no matter what my issue is, there is always someone who is going through so much more.

Maybe this living the moment is meant to help you grow and receive insight.  It will be hard but I'm going to try.

BLOOD AND GLORY or Breakfast

Before I retired I warned my earlier deserters as they went out, ok danced out the door, to never grab the 7 a.m. or noon Doctors' appointments.  We working people need those times because really who wants to waste vacation time on such mundane tasks.  Well the surprise was all mine when I went to my early morning physical therapy appointments (scheduled by them, not me). 3/4 of the people waiting in the room were the gray hairs!  Ok further investigation was warranted.

Apparently, as we age the ability to lounge around in bed until all hours goes away.  Partially because we are usually not partying or sharing after work cocktails with friends and hitting the sack at a reasonable hour.  Secondly, through my own experience, I find we don't sleep so well as various aches and pains raise their nasty little heads resulting in our being nudged out earlier and earlier.  Or our digestive and urinary systems send urgent signals that "we are not going to make it all night kiddo".  Big surprise. Then the ability to quickly fall back asleep are sabotaged by my second point-pain.

Ok so the point that the mature crowd is up and running before 7 is explainable.  But then why does it take them until 9 or later to hit the restaurants for breakfast?  I am required to fast before any blood work so by 7 or 8 in the am I'm hungry.  Typical day for some retirees (discovered through interviews) may consist of:  6 to 8:30 or 9 just getting up and having some coffee; breakfast from 9 to 10:30 or so; putz around until 1 or so then lunch; which brings one up to the first early bird specials and happy hours on tap in various establishments; a little TV and bed.  The days just fly by!  I can always get to whatever chore tomorrow.  Some complaints about never getting a holiday arise with no sympathy expected from the working crowd.

There is a bonus to be enjoyed however.  By strolling into the lab this week at 8:30 or so I found the waiting room empty and a blood dude actually trolling for customers.  "Can I empty some red cells for you Madam?" In and out, literally, in minutes five vials later which made me feel like I had donated enough blood for a Red Cross blood drive single-handedly.  But of course that made us late for the 9 am rush at the local breakfast spot where the tables were filled with our retired brothers and sisters.  And they eat very slowlllllyyyy.   No matter we have all day.

CHAOS THAT IS LIFE

As I finished putting away the toy basket that my grandson had packed up before he left yesterday I was feeling satisfaction about the pristine carpet that emerged once his little boy chaos was packed away.  I then looked around the room and threw away errant tissues, straightened an ottoman and stacked the unread newspapers just so.  There were a few items that tend to accumulate in little places that strike irritation in my soul.  Do I pick them up and put them away or just let them be as I know they are going to be used sometime later today.

Those who ever saw my office would be amazed that I seek any type of order in my personal chaos. My counters were constantly piled with unfinished or current projects that I dare not put away for fear of forgetting them. My files were stuffed with material, but rarely consulted. Perhaps that is why I would seek the small calm within the storm at home. I needed to see order in a least a few places that I inhabit. But at what cost?

As I pondered further this need to constantly pick up behind people and put things away that will probably be pulled out several times again I have to wonder if I am doing busy work because I'm bored or my inner soul needs to control my environment.  Such obsessive behavior can be viewed as either a virtue, or just an anal personality. Perhaps the frustration that some things never get completed drives my need for that little oasis amid a desert of clutter. But at what cost?

Probing further, I realized that it is clutter, chaos, sheer messiness that indicates that others are in our lives; that projects will always emerge; that endings may never be final.  I also realized that it means that love is in my life, people are around me, and there is always something waiting to be finished or made better.  Sobering thought when I realize that a day may come when all stays neat but the action and movement that makes life worth living could disappear.  So bring on the mess - I don't say I won't sigh or complain in frustration - but sometimes I hope I remember to smile because I understand what it signifies.

WHAT'S YOUR DEFENSE?

As a safety professional for many years, I admit I pound the drum for doing things in a manner that doesn't essentially kill people, often.  I will also admit that I was not an early proponent of seat belts and defensive driving until I actually took a course.  That of course, coupled with investigating accidents where injury could have been avoided with the use of both.

However, I have to admit that the hair on the back of my neck and other places tends to stay erect just driving around on daily errands and road trips.  My imaginary brake (as a passenger) and both feet as a driver are engaged more frequently these days.  Of course, we can blame technology such as cell phones, bad roads and more inexperienced drivers for the vehicular mayhem we enjoy today. I also did a large amount of driving in my job that allowed me to make observations. But let me just point out a couple of minor changes in behavior we can all can engage in that would lead to a safer roadway.

1) STAY OFF THE DANG PHONE!  That goes for applying makeup, reading, gawking at interesting sights along the way, driving sleep-deprived or under the influence, engaging too frequently with passengers who say "look at this". 
2) When observing someone entering the freeway - give them some room. The rules say the entering driver needs to adjust their speed to safely enter, but some self-absorbed road hogs figure "I got here first, so too bad".  Drivers aren't sitting in that narrow strip on the side because they wanted a new lane.
3) Assume the person entering the freeway does not see you over in the left lane politely giving them room to enter.  I can't count the number of times I have had someone entering and upon seeing a slow moving vehicle in the right lane continue to cross over into the left lane.  There are the rules of absolute that state two objects cannot exist in the same space. Really.
4) Do not wait until the last possible moment to move over to take an exit or make a turn, effectively cutting off anyone already in the lane.  If you did not preplan the maneuver or belatedly realized this was your turn don't jam in front of another vehicle (especially trucks who contrary to popular conception cannot stop on a dime).  Go around or take the next exit. I would have been slaughtered in actually busy areas such as Chicago or Detroit if I tried darting across multiple lanes to make my turn at the last second.
5) One does not actually accumulate points driving faster and more recklessly than other drivers and extending a particular digit does not derive any significant changes in other drivers' behaviors as well. Though I will admit I have engaged the sideways phone hold option to hopefully scare an erratic driver to exit earlier rather than later. 
6) Realize there are other people using the same road!  Slow down or stop to mitigate a potential accident. Show patience in a busy situation or bubble wrap your steering wheel to keep your mind and hands busy and amuse yourself when you have to wait for traffic to clear. There is such a thing as being right and being "dead right". 
7) Give motorcycles and pedestrians a wide berth. They sometimes disappear from view, stop suddenly or make unexpected turns and movements.  Pedestrians especially know they have the right of way and doggone it, they're going to use it. Ahhh people pancake-very messy.

In a recent conversation with a State Police officer who performs accident re-constructions his statement was "Sometimes "0" miles an hour is the correct speed.  Accident caused by inclement weather or inconsiderate other drivers is never an excuse for not driving safely and drivers will be cited.  In the 194 car accident on I-94 that he investigated he showed a picture of a beautiful Porsche that managed to safely stop in the midst of the mayhem without sustaining a scratch. 

I will happily bear the title of "old lady driver" if that is how you view me but the vehicle repair bills not realized or the injury or death I did not become a part of is fine with me. Something to think about.  Respect for others is the key to, well most things in life. 

The Eternal Cycle

Isn't it interesting how life plays itself out? We were the "kids" until our parents pass and we come to the reality that WE are now the "parents, matriarchs, patriarchs"; we are now in charge of the traditions and routines that constitute family. We no longer have that parachute of others' past experiences to rely upon as we move forward.  Perhaps we remember how things were done just a little differently than they were, thus moving and changing and creating the next delicious layer of our history.  We still say my Mother always said or my Father always did but they are not there to correct or undermine our perfect 20-20 hindsight. But we still feel the way we did when we were 16 or 22 or 35.  We can't be in charge - I'm not ready.  But we are.

In our 20's it is weddings we attend as we watch friends and family eagerly approach the first exciting threshold of adult life. I look back at my 19 year old self and realize how young I was and naïve, but fortunately I didn't know it at the time so no harm done.  Well none lasting I assume. I always have the philosophy, Ok you've never done this before so just forge ahead like you know what you're doing and get through whatever it is.  People rarely call you on it if you are bold and confident plus it stiffens your spine and makes you look like you've got this.  Though they would not admit it, in my experience most just want someone to make the decisions and direct actions. However they will also consider you bossy and aggressive. So be it.

In our late 20's and 30's it's about babies and careers.  Both coming at once and both demanding your attention 24/7.  Fortunately you're strong at that age and as long as you don't know trying to balance all the tasks required is quite impossible it works.

40's and 50's are all about friends and family graduations and their children starting to marry. It's a time where some compare where they are with others usually to their disappointment. It's a time when you start looking to your future security, either cursing your lack of preparation or continuing to lay your golden pots in line to sustain a comfortable retirement.  It should also be a time of great influence and respect. You have paid your dues; you understand how the system works; your political opinions are active, and noisy. You can argue most positions and have enough experience to understand things are not always the black and white you believed when you were young and tender.  Unfortunately some folks never get past that stage regardless of age and experience which is sad but also may explain the inflexibility and prejudice displayed by those who should know better.

The 60's are the years when often when our parents start to falter and fail and we fear for their continued existence coupled with the incredible joy of grandchildren starting to arrive.  We buffer our worries from our children so that they can enjoy this exciting and busy time in their lives  filled with children and careers as we know the energy that takes. It is also a time when we have much to teach but are often ignored as being too old to actually understand the reality of now. One can only chuckle and realize we were guilty of the same when we were younger.  We bury our parents and lament, "I'm not ready", "I am still your child", "I still need your loving acceptance and advice" "How can I be the advisor for myself and others without your support"?  

But the beauty of the system is that we are ready and, as always has been since the beginning, we will carry our own until they are ready as well.

BIRD WATCHING

Rant for the day.  Changed my routine a couple of years ago to work out in the wee hours of the morning. Downside - getting up at 3 am to torture my body.  Upside - control of television, lights and machines. Not having to interact with any crazies -priceless.  However my peace has been shattered a few times recently by a couple of happy ladies I have christened the magpies.  They find each other with heartfelt squeals of delight and then proceed to spend the next hour chatting and chatting and chatting ad nauseam.  Ladies!  It's 3:30 am in the 'effing morning.

I can't stand earplugs in my very sensitive waxy ears so I am subjected to this interplay which ranges from what a good person they are to a very thorough dissection of many people they know by name. Ok now I'm being judgmental and fortunately I don't know the people they are discussing.  But the point being, go have a private cup of coffee somewhere.  Someone might actually be trying to concentrate to overcome the knives driven through their knees with every step. Don't need my ears bleeding as well.  End of Rant.  I feel better now.

MS MEGYN K LEANING RIGHT?

Listened to an interview with Fox News Megyn Kelly this morning. Though not a supporter of her point of view on some issues; still she is intelligent, witty and very savvy about the world and politics.  I guess I might be slightly offended by her comment that she pictures her audience as women at the end of a hard day of child raising or work or both, sitting back with a glass of chardonnay wanting to digest the day's news without a "whole lot thinking about it" (my interpretation of what she said).  I object to the glass of Chardonnay rather than Merlot as being so "feminine" but that's just me.  Oh yeah, the no thinking part was a little off-putting but then all newscasts attempt to do that, so strictly speaking not exactly a flaw.

I do appreciate that she stood up to Donald Trump and has not lowered herself to his level of insults. He has proven himself a coward where she has shown class and grit in ignoring his opinions on women in general which should offend all. In fact, she said she would welcome him on her show with or without an apology. In that, I totally relate. There have been many times in my career where the level of insensitivity and personal offense needed to be ignored so that I could do my job and move forward.

However when asked whether she believed Fox news has a conservative bias, she disagreed with Charlie Rose of all people. Though she did say she would love to be on a show with herself, Charlie and Oprah.  Now that would be worth watching! So again she is open to other opinions while being able to support of her own which I admire.  She also stated that most news had a left leaning bias  Well of course Ms Megyn and I thank our wonderful 1st amendment for allowing that to occur.  The establishment (read that as the rich and powerful) would rather all us plebes embrace what they say so as not to, dare we say, rebel against the establishment thus rocking the throne on which they sit. Establishment means "conservative".  Any ideas outside of that conservatism has been punished throughout history from burning non-believers at the stake, labeling scientists as heretics and allowing fascist and dictator regimes to exist in the modern world.

Any ideas presented outside of the conservative view are considered dangerous and radical as the "people" may get ideas that they are as good as the privileged few and worthy of respect and a decent life.  Of course all is not perfect on the left, but thinking people need to hear many opinions and be exposed to all pertinent information that may have bearing on a situation or idea. So thank you "other than Fox News" and "CNBC" for being left leaning. When we attempt to muzzle communication that does not follow the conservative party line, just because it is different, we assist in forging the very chains that lead us into another dark age of ignorance.

LIP SERVICE

Every time I've gone outside the last few weeks the words filter into my mind "Michigan girls do not lick their lips in the wintertime".  This usually occurs after I have licked my lips of course.  I do believe I would think first before sticking my tongue on a metal object, and as I am usually in the car when I have the thought I think I am safe from a major ice-driven incident.  It is strictly a wintertime issue and I have never been a fan of lipstick or chap stick.  All I can think of when I have those items on is "there is something on my lips and I can't move them!".  I become stiff-lipped so to speak; and no doubt quieter.  Win-win.